Chapter 16 Chapter 15 The Art of Criticism

When we hear someone express appreciation for some of our strengths, and then hear his criticism, we often feel much better in our hearts. - Carnegie The famous American entrepreneur Mary Kay wrote in the book "Talking about People's Management": "Don't just criticize without praising. This is a principle I strictly abide by. No matter what you want to criticize, you must find the other party Praise your strengths, both before and after the criticism. This is what I call a 'sandwich' criticism—a small criticism sandwiched between two compliments." That is, when criticizing others, first find out the strengths of the other party and praise them, and then make criticisms, and try to make the conversation end in a friendly atmosphere, and at the same time use some words of praise.This method of praising at both ends and criticizing in the middle is very similar to sandwiches, a food with stuffing in the middle, so it is named after it.

By dealing with the problem in this way, the other party may not be too embarrassed, reducing the conflict caused by being provoked.This method is also more effective in many cases.Its advantage is that the critics talk about the strengths of the other party, which plays the role of defending the other party. When analyzing criticism behavior from a psychological point of view, we will find that most people are not as comfortable as hearing praise when they hear criticism.People instinctively resist criticism, and people like to justify their actions, especially when a person has put in a lot of effort in his work, he will be more sensitive to criticism, and he also likes to justify himself, so that Self and others believe that he is infallible.From a psychological point of view, this is also a manifestation of cognitive dissonance.That is, in cognition, people are convinced that it is impossible for them not to make mistakes, but in behavior they try to justify every mistake.The way to solve this kind of cognitive dissonance is for the critic to justify or create conditions for the other party to feel that they cannot justify.

There are many things to be sure about the other party's ability, conduct, and hard work. If critics turn a blind eye, the other party may feel that it is unfair, thinking that their various achievements or long-term efforts have not received due attention. If you make a mistake, you will be caught, probably because the other party is specifically against you.The critic first praises the other party to avoid the other party's misunderstanding, to show the recognition of his superiors and colleagues for his work, so that he knows that the criticism is for specific things rather than people, and he naturally gives up using excuses to maintain self-esteem. practice.Some leaders don't like this approach, thinking that praise first and then criticize is a sign of weakness, and the leader should be the image of a strong person.When emphasizing the role of people more and more, it is not advisable to use this method of criticism to pretend to be a leader and strictly maintain prestige.

Judging from the expression form of the "sandwich strategy", praise-criticism-praise is also in line with people's psychological adaptability.People hope to be appreciated by others, and praise should leave a deeper impression in his heart.Praise at both ends can do this.When critics follow up their criticism with honest and objective praise, people perceive the criticism as less harsh because of the praise.However, if you need to analyze his mistakes more thoroughly, the effect of praise may be diluted, and criticism will have a relatively strong recency effect, and the person being criticized may feel a sense of being teased.If you observe carefully, you will find that the so-called popular leaders prefer the "sandwich" method of criticism.Of course, this is what people do consciously or unconsciously based on their own experience, and it is not an "imported" technology.Our tradition of doing ideological and political work and leadership work requires adopting "comrade-style" criticism and "curing the sick to save the patient."

The more typical "sandwich" style is the standard syllogism: "Xiao Zhang, this summary is very well written. It seems that you have put in a lot of effort and your thinking is very clear. There are a few points in it that are quite exciting. If you want to say something , I think it’s not appropriate to change these few places, this kind of statement is not appropriate, too sharp words will hurt the enthusiasm of others. Okay, that’s it. Work hard, the young man is very smart, the writing is very good, I hope to continue to work hard.” He said that after listening to Xiao Zhang, he would feel that the leader was full of expectations for him, and the deficiencies were clearly pointed out, which was reasonable, and he would do his best to correct the inadequacies.

Sometimes, people also turn "sandwiches" into "two-color cakes" to allow praise and criticism to appear alternately, the purpose of which is to maintain the psychological balance of the listener.If the criticism can be ended in a few words, you only need a "sandwich". If you want to analyze and talk for a long time, you should put a small "syllogism" in the big "syllogism" and talk about the advantages of others from time to time, so that the effect will be better. much better. "Hear it if you hear it" is an old saying in China, but not everyone is happy to accept criticism from others.When superiors criticize subordinates, if they want to convince subordinates without the feeling of being overwhelmed by power or power, it is very important to seek truth from facts.

Criticism is originally intended to correct mistakes and educate people, so its premise must be that there are indeed mistakes at subordinate levels.If there is no mistake, if you insist on criticizing others, you will leave the impression of "deliberately tricking people" to the subordinates. Before criticizing, consider the factual basis, which is more basic than the attitude and method of criticism.If there is not enough investigation in advance, and the facts are different from the situation obtained, it will be difficult for the critics to accept; people.Therefore, when superiors criticize subordinates, responsibilities must be clarified, facts must be accurate, and reasons must be ascertained.Proceeding from reality, clarify the true nature of the matter, find out the cause of the problem, and properly assign responsibilities. Such criticisms are justified and well-founded, neither exaggerated nor overlooked, and the subordinates are of course convinced.Therefore, when superiors criticize and deny subordinates, they must be based on facts and policies, and they cannot do whatever they want, let alone replace principles with feelings.

In order to seek truth from facts, we must also overcome the tendency to act subjectively.Arbitrary leaders tend to lose hearts.People have their own subjective impressions about everything, but as a leader, they cannot be subjective and arbitrary.For example, the leader subjectively dislikes some employees. There are many reasons for this situation, such as bad temper, disagreement, or friction on some minor issues.At this time, once there is a deviation in the work, he tends to shift the responsibility to him, thus creating a vicious circle. The leader is more and more critical of his subordinates, and the performance of his subordinates is getting worse and worse.To avoid one's own subjective judgment, many obstacles must be removed psychologically.For example, you have to realize that as a leader, you may be very sensitive, or you may sometimes be very one-sided when looking at problems, etc. If you look for the "knot" in your heart, you will be more critical in your evaluation of people and things. a justice.

We often find it beneficial to criticize others, pointing out their mistakes or shortcomings, because it helps others and us improve on shortcomings.In fact, it is not the case. Many of those fierce criticisms are useless.Blindly judging and blaming others is not really helpful, it only shows that you have a psychological need to blame others. Some people may not want to admit it.But if we go to any gathering and hear the accusations, especially the typical ones that are only personal, and analyze them at home, how much of it can make the situation better?The most likely conclusion is: none of them, all are useless words!

If it's neither helpful nor harmful, then that's all, we can leave it alone.But blaming others, which creates more anger and suspicion, can be harmful—after all, no one wants to be blamed. People who feel attacked are likely to do two things, either retreat out of timidity and shame, or fight back out of exasperation.You can recall the times when you blamed someone and they said to you, "Thank you for pointing out my mistakes, that's really appreciated." Good accusation is like swearing. It is not a good habit, but it is something we often love to do.We're all familiar with the feeling of being blamed, and sometimes blaming others is just a matter of finding something to say in order to appear busy.But what does this habit bring to us?Hurting others also hurts yourself, and making others uncomfortable also makes you uncomfortable.

Take a moment to stop and think about how you really feel in the moment you blame someone, and you'll notice that you, too, feel a little discouraged and ashamed, as if you were the one being blamed.Why is this so?Because our words of accusation are actually another form of declaring to the world and ourselves: "I need to blame others." And this is by no means something we are willing to admit. The solution to the problem is to hold back when you feel like blaming others, and remind yourself how obnoxious it will be - "It's going to feel bad for both parties!" Thinking about this, you find yourself wanting to open your mouth again Restrain immediately and remind yourself: "Look at me again!" Doing so may allow you to turn accusations into tolerance and respect. Don't rush to blame others, you can feel that there is still a pure land of meditation deep in your soul. Emotional exchanges between superiors and subordinates should not be afraid of ups and downs, but most should avoid blandness.Several days of continuous rain can set off the beauty of the rain and the clear sky and the clean earth.Enjoying the cool after summer, you will feel refreshed; you will know the sweetness when you get the spring after you are thirsty, which contains the dialectical philosophy of psychological balance. On this issue, experienced and experienced leaders not only dare to get angry, but also have the ability to deal with the aftermath;Of course, even though there is a reason for getting angry and showing power, after all, getting angry can hurt people and even cause bad things. It is better for leaders to be cautious about this. (1) It is necessary to get angry in a moderate and timely manner Especially when it comes to issues of principle, or when helping and educating a subordinate who is at fault several times is ineffective, you must suppress the other party with anger.What's more, the leader really thinks of his subordinates, and when the subordinates are stubborn, the subordinates will understand how much the leader gets angry. First of all, when you get angry, it is not advisable to go too far, and you cannot do things to the extreme, but you must pay attention to leaving room for emotional compensation.Leaders speak their minds well, and in the presence of a large audience, once a word is spoken, it is hard to follow, and once the word is too much, it is difficult to ride a tiger afterwards and end it.Therefore, when you get angry, you should not expose your faults to others. It will hurt people's hearts, and it will be difficult to recover after a lot of effort. Secondly, when you get angry, you should alternate between reality and reality.For those who cannot be persuaded in public or are inconvenient to persuade in public, you might as well get angry with him. This can not only prevent and stop his wrong behavior, but also show that the leader uses the power of deterrence and sets up the "first priority" of "preventing problems before they happen". line of defense".But for some people, it is not advisable to really get angry, but it should be done in a half-joking, half-serious, half-playful, and half-admonishing way. Have scruples - what if the boss gets serious. Third, when you get angry, you must pay attention to establishing an image of "enthusiasm" that is understood by others. You must be serious about big things and easy-going about small things. Create a formidable image.It can be seen from daily observations that convincing anger is always associated with sincere care and help. Leaders should form an image of "though they have a bad temper but a warm heart" among their subordinates, so that getting angry can be understood and approved by people. (2) Don't forget to deal with the aftermath when you get angry When the leader is angry, no matter how clever he is, he will always hurt others, but the hurt can be mild or severe.Therefore, after getting angry, it is necessary to deal with the aftermath in a timely manner, that is, to make emotional compensation, because people are equal in personality regardless of their status.Proper aftercare depends on choosing the right time and depending on the temperature. If it is too early, the other party's anger is full of anger, and the effect will not be good; if it is too late, the long-simmering feelings of the other party will not be resolved.Therefore, it is better to choose the time when the other party is slightly relieved and the mood begins to recover. Correct aftermath requires different methods depending on the target. Some people are careless and rough, and they won’t take it to heart when the leader gets angry. Therefore, only a few words or a symbolic expression can solve the problem in the aftermath.Some people are sensible, and they can forgive the leader when he gets angry, so there is no need to make great efforts to deal with the aftermath.And some people want to save face, and they will be brooding or even engraved when the leader gets angry with him. They need to be careful and sincere in the aftermath work.There are also people who are stingy and generous, so you might as well delay the aftermath, and use the time to see people's hearts for a long time to gradually influence him. A high level of aftermath should also reflect the characteristics of light and dark. The so-called "brightness" means that the leader personally visits the door for a heart-to-heart talk, explanation or even "apology".The so-called "secret" refers to the use of "beating around the bush" or "borrowing the wind" when getting angry with a small-minded person too much and it is not easy to recover through a simple interview. Say some self-blaming words, so that this kind of aftermath language can be indirectly transmitted to his ears. This kind of behind-the-scenes good words can easily move and influence him.In addition, you can also help him secretly when he is in trouble. After he understands the truth, he will be sincerely grateful to the leader for these non-face-to-face expressions. People can not escape from doing wrong?In daily work, there are often some deviations and mistakes in the work of subordinates.However, due to the constraints of external conditions, it is often difficult for subordinates to perceive these mistakes. At this time, the leader must criticize in time to set the course, correct deviations, and ensure the smooth realization of work goals.It can be seen that it is not only inevitable but also important for leaders to criticize subordinates in a timely and appropriate manner.At this time, the first thing to pay attention to is to abide by the principle of criticism. (1) In the tone of a friend As a boss, you are very dissatisfied with the work of a certain subordinate and must point it out, but it is inconvenient to criticize him face to face, what should you do?You should keep a low profile first, try to change his attitude, and ask him in a friend's tone: "What happened?" "What can I do for you?" or "Why is this happening? What's going on?" etc. , which helps you understand the situation so you can better troubleshoot it.In addition, you can also directly tell him what you have in mind, but don't say: "You are doing this at all!" Think you can do better." "It doesn't seem like you're really playing at your level." It's better to tell the other person in a reminding tone.Then exchange opinions with him in private, express your thoughts tactfully, and present facts, reason, and analyze pros and cons with him, and he will be convinced and sincerely accept your criticism and help.On the contrary, if you are condescending, domineering, and blame in the tone of the boss, it will arouse the resentment of the subordinates, and the criticism will lose its effect.It can be seen that the role orientation during criticism is very important, and it will make criticism have completely different effects. Sometimes you may not be able to deal with conflicts and disputes in time due to busy work. You can express condolences to both parties in the conflict first, and then deal with them after a while. Learn more about the causes of conflicts among subordinates in order to adjust future work. (2) Treat things but not people When criticizing subordinates, think clearly about what to say in advance. The main premise should be "right to the matter, not to the person."Remember when criticizing: don't make personal attacks.For example, "I don't appreciate your attitude." Or "Why are you always so subjective, can't you be more objective?" etc. Saying this will make the relationship between the two parties very sharp and antagonistic, and it will not help solve the problem. It will also create new contradictions. (3) Grasp the timing When you discover that your subordinates have made mistakes, you must grasp the opportunity to criticize and criticize others positively. It is a very embarrassing and embarrassing thing for anyone, but as a leader, this is one of your job contents. When you want to severely criticize your subordinates, please make an appointment with the person in advance, and at the same time click on him first in simple words, so that the other party is mentally prepared, so that you can also think about how to deal with the incident in advance.Then, clear your mind about what you're going to say, and restate it again, which will help you feel less uneasy.You may wish to write down an outline and prepare to read it at any time, so as not to repeat it due to omissions.Remind yourself often: "Keep your senses", "Keep calm", "Don't be busy", the attitude is naturally more relaxed.Remember, a positive and sincere voice can make the person being criticized easier to accept and avoid embarrassment. The opening statement is very important when criticizing. Don't start with "the leader thinks" in everything, and put too much pressure on the other party.You can say tactfully: "You are often late and leave early, is there any difficulty?" "The unit has its rules, if you arrive late and leave early, it will affect the work of other colleagues, and it is unfair!" "I appreciate your quick fix Style, but I hope you can follow the rules of the unit so as not to hinder normal work." Criticism of subordinates should be timely and take immediate action.Find out at any time, criticize at any time, don't delay, if you always think about it a few days later, then the other party will think: "I've always done this, why didn't you have any objections in the past?" But this is not to say that immediate criticism should be indiscriminate. Some people think that the leader is a representative of authority, and it is enough to use affirmative or raised tone of voice when talking with subordinates. Self-esteem, unable to correct the mistakes of subordinates and criticize him in public. Due to their own reasons, some subordinates often lack motivation and lack initiative in work.If you criticize him and try to mobilize his initiative, it will not help. The initiative must be mobilized by internal factors.Criticism of them can only be veiled, and motivation must be superficial.The purpose of the conversation is to make the other party accept, and to accept requires prescribing the right medicine and adopting a psychological attack strategy. If he likes to grow flowers, he can connect his work with flowers, which can arouse the enthusiasm of his subordinates and make him work seriously and enthusiastically.Not only that, this method of motivation can also make subordinates have a sense of responsibility, and the sense of responsibility is just the premise of doing a good job.In this way, the subordinate will be able to be convinced and accept your criticism happily, because his efforts have been recognized and his enthusiasm has been affirmed. A philosopher said: Only when we look at our own mistakes with a magnifying glass and treat others' mistakes in the opposite way can we have a fairer evaluation of our own and others' mistakes. In the work of leadership, criticism is also a necessary means of reinforcement, and it complements praise.As a leader, we should minimize the side effects of criticism and reduce people's resistance to criticism, so as to achieve a more ideal criticism effect.When criticizing others, you should first have a correct understanding of yourself and others.Think of your own responsibilities and your own shortcomings.At the same time, look at the other party's faults with an understanding attitude, consider whether you will make faults under the same conditions, and don't criticize others in a consistently correct tone.Especially when you do have big or small mistakes, self-criticism should be more sincere. When criticizing a subordinate, if we change the way, exchange opinions with him in private, express our thoughts tactfully, present the facts with him, reason with him, and analyze the pros and cons, he will be sincerely convinced and truly accept your criticism and help. It can be seen that the method of criticism is the key. Different methods have different effects.There are basically three conditions for successful criticism: one is to be sincere; the other is to have a thorough and pertinent analysis; the third is to use appropriate criticism methods.The following are four rather artistic criticism methods, which have a strong enlightenment effect on leaders. (1) Heuristic To make the other party realize his mistakes fundamentally and from the heart, the critic needs to dig out the reasons for the mistakes from the depths, understand them with reason, move them emotionally, and help them understand and correct their mistakes. Xiao Zhang, an employee of a certain unit, is about to get married, and the director of the trade union asked him: "Xiao Zhang, what are you going to do about your wedding?" The only child..." The director said: "Oh, our unit also has Xiao Li and Xiao Zhang who are both only children!" Both parties used lingo in this passage. What Xiao Wang meant was that the wedding had to be held, but what the director meant was that other people are also only children, but they can do new things. (2) Humorous Humorous criticism is to use philosophical stories, puns, image metaphors, etc. in the process of criticism, so as to ease the tension during criticism, inspire critics to think, thereby enhancing mutual emotional exchanges, so that criticism can not only achieve educational The other party's purpose, but also to create a relaxed and happy atmosphere. Voltaire once had a servant who was a little lazy.One day Voltaire asked him to bring the shoes.The shoes came, but were covered with mud.Then Voltaire asked: "Why didn't you wipe it off in the morning?" "No need, sir. The road is full of mud, and in two hours your shoes will be as dirty as they are now." Voltaire did not speak, but went out the door smiling.The servant hurried to catch up and said, "Sir, go slowly! Where is the key? The key on the cupboard. I still have lunch." "What lunch, my friend. You'll be as hungry again in two hours anyway." Voltaire cleverly used humorous words to criticize the servant's laziness.If he had yelled at him and ordered him, it wouldn't have had such a good effect. (3) warning type If the other party did not make a principled mistake, or was not on the spot where the mistake was being made, we do not need to criticize it "with live ammunition".It is okay to use gentle words and just point out the problem.Or use certain things to compare and insinuate, so that it can be used as a warning. (4) euphemism Euphemistic criticism is also called indirect criticism.Generally, the method of borrowing from each other to compare with each other is adopted, and the critics have a room to think.Its characteristic is that it is reserved and implicit, and does not hurt the self-esteem of the critics. Once at a banquet, a fat lady sat next to the thin and thin Bernard Shaw and asked the great writer with a coquettish smile: "Dear great writer, do you know any way to prevent obesity?" George Bernard Shaw solemnly said to her : "I know there is a way, but I can't translate this word to you no matter how I think, because the word 'working' is a foreign language for you!" Gang's criticism method is extremely targeted. In short, the method of criticism should be based on education, educate people with facts, enlighten people with reason, and remind people with consequences, so that the other party can accept criticism sincerely. Negation and criticism are to eradicate mistakes in work and make subordinates go on the right path.Therefore, in order to achieve the goal of criticism, we must pay attention to the art of criticism and avoid negative and simple tendencies. One bogey: sharp words, hurtful words Everyone has self-esteem, so we must treat each other as equals when criticizing, and we must not regard ourselves as a judge, let alone gloat, or even slander.Otherwise, reprimand is not only a damage to the self-esteem of the person being criticized, but even an insult to the personality, and it cannot really solve the problem. Two taboos: take advantage of others' surprise and attack suddenly Negating and criticizing subordinates, especially serious criticisms, should say hello in advance, so that subordinates have sufficient psychological preparation.Ordinary criticism should also give the subordinates sufficient room for maneuver and make psychological adjustments to avoid causing major emotional ups and downs.When a person does something wrong, he already has introspection, panic, and bewilderment in his heart. At this time, if he is treated like a criminal, he will feel ashamed and uneasy, and even become depressed, unable to affirm himself; Sliding down the wrong road, giving up on oneself, "breaking the pot and falling". Three taboos: appeasement, abandonment of principles Criticizing and negating subordinates, of course, needs to give him some comfort and encouragement, and cannot completely negate and beat him to death with a stick.However, this by no means means that the faults of subordinates can be tolerated, covered up, and not pursued.Abandoning principles and letting them go, it seems to be tolerant and caring for subordinates, but in fact this is to nourish the legacy and provide conditions for them to make bigger mistakes in the future?It looks like you love it, but you actually harm it, so don't do this. Four bogeys: no matter the occasion, show off casually Occasion is time and place. It is a necessary condition for denying and criticizing subordinates, and it is also a limitation for leaders to use their language.Critics who pay attention to the art of language always say what they say on what occasion, and act according to the situation. They are flexible and adaptable, thus creating a good opportunity for negation and criticism.Reckless criticism often uses power casually regardless of the occasion, regardless of the situation, and makes a big show of prestige. As a result, the problem becomes more complicated and severe.The usual criticism should be carried out in a small area, which will create a close and harmonious language environment.When it is really necessary to criticize in public, the wording should also be cautious, and it is not appropriate to ask the teacher who is guilty. Five taboos: picky, overly picky The superior should play a guiding and supervisory role for the leadership of the subordinates, and should not be the housekeeper of the subordinates, and cannot criticize the subordinates for everything.However, some leaders like to find fault with their subordinates, as if it is not enough to prove that they are smart if they do not often pick out some faults of their subordinates.On how to prevent problems, but no constructive advice.For superiors who are overly picky about small things but can't grasp big things, subordinates have a lot of opinions. Six taboos: Sloppy tongue, preaching everywhere Since criticism and negation of subordinates cannot be done regardless of the occasion, the criticism should not be spread casually.Some critics left their subordinates and then told others about it; or when they criticized another person not long after, they casually cited this person as an example, unintentionally spreading the criticism, causing gossip and increased public opinion. The ideological pressure and resentment of the parties involved.Everyone has a psychological tendency to protect self-esteem. When leaders criticize subordinates, they must love subordinates. They must try to control their psychological oscillations to a minimum. They must not inadvertently add new interference factors to affect subordinates to accept criticism and correct mistakes.In fact, loose tongue is a bad style of irresponsible leaders and lack of organizational discipline, which is also criticized. Seven taboos: Mother-in-law, mother-in-law, endless Criticism cannot be won by quantity.If you say less, you can solve it, don't say too much, if one criticism can work, don't add more times.Mother-in-law, endless, may not be able to move people's hearts; chattering, endless, but annoying.Serious criticism must have prepared content, reasonable procedures and necessary time limits.It is unscientific to try to cure all diseases through multiple criticisms. Regardless of any group, when employees make unforgivable mistakes, as a leader, it is inevitable to reprimand them.But everyone has self-esteem. Criticism should be done on an equal basis. Severity in attitude does not mean viciousness in words. Remember that only incompetent leaders expose scars. Because this approach will not help except to bring back some unpleasant memories; and in addition to chilling the critics, the bystanders will definitely not be comfortable. Because everyone has scars, but the size is different. Seeing the tragic situation of colleagues, as long as you are not a person who gloats, you will feel that "the rabbit dies and the fox is sad, and things hurt the same kind".What's more, the purpose of criticism is to clarify the problem, not to stigmatize the subordinates.Moreover, proper critical language also involves a leader's mind and self-cultivation, and he must not pretend to be a judge and speak ill at each other, regardless of the severity. It is worth noting that, as a leader, the commander must not forget to add a word of comfort or encouragement immediately after severely criticizing his subordinates. Because, after anyone is reprimanded by the leader, he must be dejected and lose all confidence in himself, and the result of this will inevitably make him even more self-defeating.However, at this time, the leader used one or two warm words to encourage him at the right time, or privately expressed to him afterwards that he was strict with him precisely because he saw his future.In this way, the subordinates who are criticized will deeply understand the truth of "deep love and deep responsibility", and will work harder. In this way, subordinates will not only keep their mistakes in mind, but may also increase their motivation and self-consciousness in their work. To achieve effective criticism, one must pay attention to changing the way and language of criticism according to the object and occasion of criticism.The view that attempts to judge living reality by a unified model will only hit a wall everywhere. (1) As far as occasions are concerned, different occasions also require changes in criticism methods Smart leaders often know how to adjust criticism according to different situations, while reckless leaders tend to be simple and rude regardless of the situation.Generally speaking, try not to criticize your subordinates too publicly. It is definitely not wise to criticize the behavior of a certain subordinate in public.Criticizing subordinates in this way is trampling on the self-esteem of subordinates, which not only damages morale, but also shows the ruthlessness of the leader. During the quality inspection, a quality inspection manager yelled at the workshop director: "Look at what you made your subordinates do? How can such inferior products appear on our assembly line! What do you do, the workshop director?" If you do this again, you don't want to stay any longer!" Undoubtedly, the behavior of the quality inspection manager will not only cause the embarrassment and resentment of the workshop director, but also make every ordinary employee present feel confused and disturbed.They may think: "Will I be the next person to be scolded!" How can we do a good job in such a mood that everyone is in danger?Although poor product quality is a very important problem, the clumsy way the quality manager handles the problem only makes it worse.Scolding the workshop director in front of the workshop workers will affect the status of the workshop director in the hearts of the workers, thus directly damaging the workshop director's effectiveness as a manager.What's more serious is that the self-esteem of the workshop director has been hurt, and he may show rebellious psychology or break the pot, or even sabotage or cheat.The consequences can be imagined. When this kind of problem arises, the best way is: the quality inspection manager finds the workshop director for a private discussion.Not only can the problem be solved better, but it can also maintain the morale of the workshop manager and workers, so that everyone can benefit from it. Therefore, as a leader, you must not criticize employees in public, let alone criticize in front of your superiors. This will make your subordinates feel that you are suing him intentionally. It should be said that Ms. Mary Kay, president of the famous cosmetics company, has set a good example for us at this point. At a business summit attended by beauty consultants from all over the United States, she discovered that one beauty consultant's clothing and makeup did not match the beauty consultant's profession.She then learned that the beauty consultant was a newcomer to the industry.Mary Kay realized that by advising the beauty consultant directly one-on-one, she might be hurt.So Mary Kay decided to convey her opinion to the other party in a more subtle way. So Mary Kay gave a presentation at a business meeting entitled "Grooming and Dressing for a Beauty Consultant."This allowed the attendees to learn from the presentation and made the beauty consultant aware of her problem without hurting her self-esteem. Throughout the meeting, Mary Kay repeatedly reminded every beauty consultant present to show their professional demeanor. On the second day after the speech, Mary Kay found that the sloppy beauty consultant had disappeared and was replaced by a neat and simple professional woman without losing professionalism. It is especially important to pay attention to the intensity of criticism when it is unavoidable. In ancient times, there was a knight-errant, whose subordinates asked for help from others.Once a friend asked him: "So many disciples admire you and follow you, do you have any secret?" He replied: "My secret is that when I want to blame a certain disciple who made a mistake, I must call him Go to my room and remind him when no one else is around, that's all." For leaders, you should understand that as a leader, you should always be responsible for the people and things in the unit no matter what, and no one can shirk this.You like to "spread family ugliness", but it will expose your poor management, or the shortcomings and imperfections of the management system you have formulated.What's worse is that it will give people the impression of being selfish and narrow-minded. (2) As far as the object is concerned, we should pay attention to his occupation, age, personality, level and other factors Different professions have different criticism requirements. For example, for industries with high safety requirements, the criticism should be more severe, while for some professions that require employees to play freely, the criticism should focus on enlightenment and guidance. 不同年龄的人批评也应有所差别：年长者应用商讨的语气，对同龄人则可自由一些，毕竟彼此的共同点较多，而对年轻人则应多给予一些启发性的批评，促使其提高认识。比如对老年者称呼前加上谦辞，显得郑重有礼，对年少者用“小×”来称呼，增加亲近感，就能增强批评的效果。 就性格上的差别来说，瑞士心理学家卡尔·荣格曾将人的性格分为外倾型和内倾型两类。外倾型开朗活泼，善于交际；内倾型则孤僻恬静，处事谨慎。对他们领导者就应采取不同的批评方法：对于前者可以直率，对于后者需要委婉；对于前者谈话要干净利落，对于后者措辞要注意斟酌。至于介乎二者之间的中间性格类型的人，可以随机应变，因人而异。 知识和阅历水平也是很重要的因素，对水平高的人需要讲清道理，必要时只需蜻蜓点水，他便心领神会；对水平低的人必须讲清利害关系，他们看重的是结果如何，而不在意其中的奥秘究竟怎样；之乎者也、文绉绉的词句，只能使其如入五里云雾，辨不出东南西北。 中国有句俗语，人有脸，树有皮，任何人都是有尊严的，不能因为你是领导就肆意践踏下属的尊严，说得更直接点，就是要给人面子。 在实际工作中，人们不犯错误几乎是不可能的。当你的下属犯了错误不要一味地批评，相反原谅更能激发下属的奋进心。 小张在一个规模不是很大的食品公司做销售主管已经四年了。在四年的销售工作中他一直勤勤恳恳，好学上进。每年他的销售业绩都是全公司第一名，是其他业务人员的榜样，深受老总的喜爱和赏识。 可是一次他出差收公司的货款时，接到了家乡母亲的紧急电话，告诉他父亲不幸得了胃癌，急需手术，家里已经尽了全力，也凑不齐手术费，要他想办法筹钱救命。小张此时脑子一片空白，突如其来的不幸消息使这个遇事从未退缩的小伙子掉下了伤心的眼泪。他没来得及多想，狂奔到邮电局，从公司货款里拿出两万元寄回了家里，在汇款单上的留言处写下了：两万块为了救爸爸。 在回公司的路上，小张害怕了，作为销售主管的他，十分清楚公司严格的财务制度和铁的销售纪律。挪用公款是销售人员的大忌，轻则退赔开除，重则要绳之以法。四年销售工作中从未出过一分钱差错的他，不敢再往下想了，似乎已看到了一双冰冷的手铐摆在了他的面前。 在公司老总的办公桌上，摆着剩余货款和一张邮电局汇款收据，小张和老总足足谈了一个多小时，老总始终是一副冷峻的脸，最后老总说：“你先休息一下，叫刘助理通知销售部全体人员，一小时后开紧急会议。”小张心里想：这一下肯定完蛋了。 当全体销售人员坐在公司会议室时，会场鸦雀无声，老总在会上重申了公司严格的销售纪律和财务制度之后，向小张表示深深的歉意。老总检讨自己对下属的关心不够，并告诉大家张主管家里出了大事，自己拿出两万块钱借给小张，并让小张签了借条，写明从每月工资里归还的具体金额。这下由挪用公款变成了老总和小张私人之间的债权债务的关系，公司的货款分文未少，交到了公司的财务科。在企业工作四年之久的小张，被老总这种宽容的处事方式深深打动。 现实中，很多领导总是习惯于对自己的错误采取一种极其宽容的态度，每每自己犯错时，他总会以失败是成功之母聊以自慰；而对于员工的错误，往往又会是另一种态度，“我们追求完美！我们不允许失败！”孩子们都是通过不断地摔跟头才最终学会走路的，又都是经过说错话才学会说话的。通向成功的路上一定会布满荆棘，不犯错就达到成功的路是没有的。 用激励代替批评，是史金纳教学的基本观点。这位伟大的心理学家以动物和人的实验来证明：当减少批评，多多激励对方时，人所做的好事会增加，而比较不好的事会因受忽视而逐渐萎缩。 许多年以前，一个十岁的小男孩在工厂里做工。他一直喜欢唱歌，梦想当一个歌星，但他的第一位老师却不但没给他鼓励，反而使他泄气。他说：“你不适宜唱歌，你根本五音不全，简直就像风在吹百叶窗一样。” 但他的母亲，一位穷苦的农妇却不以为然，她搂着自己的孩子，激励他说：“孩子，你能唱歌，你一定能把歌唱好。瞧你现在已经有了很大进步。”她节省下每一分钱，给她的儿子用来上音乐课。这位母亲的嘉许，给了孩子无穷的力量，也从此改变了他的一生。他的名字叫恩瑞哥·卡罗素，那个时代最伟大、最知名的歌剧演唱家。 假若在这个小男孩的童年，没有母亲的激励与赞许，只有那位老师的无情打击，这个世界上也许就失去了一位著名的歌剧家。 生活中，少一分指责，多一些嘉许，不仅令事情做起来得心应手，也给予对方愉悦的心情，何乐而不为呢？ 我们不应当怀着自己的私心或对事物不感兴趣，就对他人的行为采取贬低或批评的态度。没有爱迪生母亲对儿子孵鸡蛋行为的肯定与赞许，也许爱迪生就没有今日的辉煌成就；英国作家韦斯特若没得到老校长的激励，可能就没有今日无数本畅销书，英国文学史就缺少了不朽的一页。也许就是那一句微不足道的激励，给了那些需要动力的人无穷的力量，给那些身处逆境的人奋斗的信心。谁又能小视它呢？