Chapter 36 Chapter 36 Communicate from the "heart" and resolve disputes with wisdom

In the traditional sense, conflict may be one of the important reasons that cause and lead to uneasiness, tension, discord, turbulence, chaos and even division and disintegration.As an excellent leader, one should know that the traditional view has its rationality, but it is obviously unrealistic to completely resolve the conflict, and it is also an incomplete understanding. The book "Military Leadership" edited by the United States Military Academy at West Point explores the positive role of conflict in depth, noting that conflict between groups can provide incentives for change.When the work is going well and there is no conflict between the groups, the group may not conduct self-analysis and evaluation to improve its quality. As a result, the group may become a stagnant pool, unable to tap its potential and promote growth and development through change. On the contrary, the existence of conflicts among them will stimulate the organization's interest and curiosity in the work, which actually increases the diversity of viewpoints to complement each other, and at the same time increases the sense of urgency.

There are two important figures in the history of the development of General Motors. Because of their different views and practices on conflicts and contradictions, they have brought different major influences on the development of General Motors. The first is William Durant. Major decisions are largely "one-man" in that he likes those who agree with him and will probably never forgive anyone who contradicts him in public.As a result, his operating committee, which consisted of plant managers, met no opposition to any of its decisions, but this "unanimity" lasted only four years.Four years later, General Motors had a crisis, and Durant had to leave the company.

Another man who had a major impact on GM was Alfred Sloan, by far the most prestigious leader of GM, known as the "organizational genius."He used to be Durant's assistant and later became Durant's successor.He's seen the mistakes Durant made, and he's almost fixed them.He believes that no one is always right.Before making a decision, others must be consulted. He will clarify his views on various specific issues as they arise, but he also encourages debate and expressing different views.This made him a great success. A lesson to be learned from this is how to view conflict and contradictions within the enterprise.For today's leaders, a company without conflicts is a lifeless organization. As a leader, you must dare to face conflicts and contradictions, and hearing about conflicts should become a fashion for leaders.

Akio Morita, known as the "Japanese Edison", further explained how leaders should face up to this conflict from his own personal experience.He believes that when most companies talk about "cooperation" or "consensus", it usually means burying personal opinions.At Sony Corporation, we encourage everyone to express their opinions openly.The more different opinions, the better, because the final conclusion must be brilliant.When Akio Morita was vice president, there was a conflict with the then chairman Michi Tajima.Because Morita insisted on his opinion and refused to make concessions, Tajima was very angry, and finally he said angrily: "Shengtian, you and I have the opposite opinion, and I don't want to stay in any company that acts according to your opinion, which makes us sometimes still Fight over these things." Morita's answer was very blunt, "Sir, if you and I have exactly the same opinion, we should not stay in the same company and receive two salaries, and one of you and I should resign. Just because of you and me With different perspectives, the risk of companies making mistakes is reduced.”

For leaders, since conflicts and contradictions are inevitable and ubiquitous, they should not be avoided, obliterated or turned a blind eye, let alone be deceived by temporary "consistency", or even artificially create the phenomenon of "consistency".In short, any one person's cognitive ability is limited, and one person's opinion cannot always be correct.Conflicts and contradictions may be the best solution to make up for this deficiency. As long as the coordination is reasonable and the communication is timely, conflicts will pave the way for your success. In life and work, leaders cannot think the same way.In the working space of leaders who promote new strategies and introduce new methods and technologies, it is inevitable that various inconsistencies will turn into heated debates or conflicts. It is impossible for leaders to "meet smiling faces every day", so it is impossible to "meet smiling faces every day". In a good mood".

In the daily work of leaders, they often face differences of opinion and often encounter people who think differently from themselves.People who have differences and objections are nothing more than differences in the choice of direction and understanding of interests.Although differences and even confrontation can strain relationships, the golden rule can help here.That is, how you want others to treat you who disagree with you, how you should treat others who disagree with you. In this regard, when you disagree with other people's views and opinions, or with those who disagree or even oppose you, it is not the best policy to stand up and argue with him.In our daily life, we often see that even those innocuous things will lead to tit-for-tat fierce scenes if they are more serious.In an argument, one side tries to overwhelm the other, but this does not solve any problems, on the contrary, it will hurt each other's peace, and seriously damage the relationship between each other.

When confronted with someone who disagrees with us, a natural psychological response is to try to win the other party through an argument.The reason for this reaction is that in the face of such different opinions, I feel threatened and hurt, and my self-esteem and even dignity are offended.We become agitated, loud, aggressive, aggressive, bitter.If this emotional reaction is thrown at the opponent and the opponent retaliates, a fierce battle is inevitable.If you don't want to see this kind of intense scene full of gunpowder, it's better not to provoke an unusual argument. In trying to persuade those who disagree with us, we treat them not as opponents or enemies, but as equal partners, not to make them do what they say, but to make them accept what is beneficial to them but for various reasons. Something I haven't understood yet.

People who do not consider the interests of the other party and blindly engage in arguments will be controlled by a kind of anxiety, and there will be an extreme mentality of living today and not caring about tomorrow, but tomorrow will always come, so what will happen then? Persuasion, or real persuasion, is to form the inner obedience effect of the persuaded.The difference between it and the threat of power is that the persuader thinks he is equal to the person being persuaded, and the person being persuaded has the freedom to have a certain point of view, opinion, attitude and adopt a certain behavior.Different from the confirmed obedience formed by exchange and charm, in the process of forming internal obedience, the persuader may not have any charm or interest attraction at all, and the reason why the persuaded obey is not because of the persuader. Only the information provided by the persuader has real value, which can modify or change the way of perception, understanding and interpretation of the persuaded person, so that the internalized obedient person finally adopts a new way of responding and behaving to the things around him .

When subordinates start to complain, dissatisfaction, or friction of interests, as a leader, they should pay full attention.The first thing to do is to find out the reason.If the subordinates complain about the salary system, it may be because the salary is generally low in the same industry or the salary of some positions is not reasonable.If the leader wants to find out the reasons for the complaints of his subordinates, it is best to listen to his (her) opinions.Listening not only shows respect for subordinates, but also the best way to discover the reasons for complaints.Complaints from subordinates should be answered positively and clearly, and must not be oblique or vague.

When dealing with complaints from subordinates, a formal resolution should be formed and announced to subordinates. When publishing, attention should be paid to explaining the reasons for doing so carefully, in detail, and reasonably, and there should be corresponding measures to appease subordinates and take improvement actions. Don't procrastinate, and don't let subordinates' complaints build up.If the final ruling is made by the top leadership, then of course you should fully support it, regardless of whether the ruling satisfactorily solves the problem. When dealing with the complaints of subordinates, the leaders have an "open door" policy, that is, they declare that their doors are open at any time, and subordinates who welcome all kinds of complaints can directly complain to them, and they will try their best to solve them.Some people think that this does not play any role, but this method can make subordinates realize that their own interests are not violated anytime and anywhere, and can make subordinates work harder.

As a leader, being good at listening to subordinates' complaints is a responsibility and one of the criteria for assessing the overall quality of a leader. In the face of subordinates' complaints, one must not take them lightly or ignore them.Subordinates will not resign in anger because they complain, but they will resign when their complaints are not heard or considered.Because they feel that their personality has been insulted and they feel unacceptable.If you want your people to be happy and enthusiastic about their work, take the time to listen to them.Spending more time listening to your employees will do you no harm. It would be a big mistake to think that expressing dissatisfaction with something indicates that this person has a deep resentment toward the business, management, or even you personally.A complaint is a complaint made when a leader treats a subordinate inappropriately.Being dissatisfied doesn't mean not wanting to.In fact, it is the complaints and dissatisfaction that make you realize that there may be other people in the enterprise who are silently suffering and complaining about the same problems.In this case, productivity can be severely affected.Your employees often complain about wages, working conditions, relationships with colleagues, and relationships with other departments.In the face of employee complaints, you must deal with them carefully, and you cannot ignore them or deal with them rashly. You have to put yourself in your shoes, change roles and think about why things happen, try to consider the reasons for the problems, and avoid intensifying conflicts caused by hasty actions.You should make a gesture: open the door to complaints from subordinates.Even if you don't have time for a while, make an appointment for him to talk.Don't immediately refute subordinates' complaints, let them complain first.If there are other subordinates who are the object of the complaint, you must also listen to the views of the other party in order to solve the problem fairly.If you intend to fix the problem, take action now.If you are not going to take any action, tell the complainer why. You need patience and self-control when dealing with complaints from subordinates.Especially when the complaints of subordinates involve you and make you feel very embarrassed, you need to have great patience and self-control.Not all complaints from subordinates can be satisfactorily resolved, because some may violate the company's policies, or even some wrong and unreasonable complaints.However, you can't ignore these complaints, you have to listen to their complaints carefully, and then make a statement.Venting complaints seems to want you to do something, but in fact they will be satisfied if you only give them an understanding ear.Also, you should explain why the complaint cannot be fully resolved. You should allow subordinates to leapfrog to higher leadership.Because some complaints may involve higher management.Of course, you can also report to your superiors, and you will be the bridge for your subordinates to complain to their superiors.Before your subordinates complain to the higher leadership, you should also explain the situation to your superiors, explain the content concisely and then let your superiors handle it, and you don't have to intervene. When dealing with complaints from subordinates, it is necessary to analyze specific situations and treat them in detail.And you have to believe in the loyalty of your subordinates. In a unit or department, it is common for subordinates to have different interests and views on a certain task or a certain issue.Sometimes even the two sides will be at loggerheads, blushing, and get very tense.At this time, the leader needs to come forward to mediate and be the "peacemaker" between the two parties. Some estimates say that leaders spend about 20 percent of their time dealing with conflict, but that doesn't prove leadership incompetence or failure.Conflicts are inherent and unavoidable in interpersonal relationships, and must be properly dealt with in order to form an atmosphere of "human harmony". This requires leaders to use the skills of mediating disputes and handling conflicts to coordinate the differences in understanding and conflicts of interests among all parties.So how to deal with disputes, conflicts and disagreements?There is no ready-made formula to follow, but whether a leader can successfully deal with conflict mainly depends on three factors: first, the leader's ability to judge and understand the causes of conflict; second, the leader's ability to control the emotions and The third is the ability of the leader to choose the appropriate behavior to deal with the conflict.The method of resolving conflicts and ensuring "human harmony" can generally adopt the method of "mutual humility". The coordination method of "mutual humility" is to force the disputing parties to make a concession and reach a mutually acceptable agreement.This is the most common way to mediate disputes and resolve conflicts.The key to this solution is to find the appropriate point for coordinating both parties.Regardless of mediating political disputes or resolving conflicts in daily work and life, if the two parties are to unite and act together, they should not adopt the approach of favoring one party and suppressing the other, but should use the "mutual humility" method to solve problems. This means that the conditions for resolving conflicts are immature, and it is necessary to maintain the status quo and wait for an opportunity to be resolved; or after a period of accumulation, work or life itself is gradually adjusted.Adopt the method of "accepting time", let people gradually abandon old prejudices and adapt to new ideas and new facts after a period of time. This approach to conflict resolution is very sensible.Because the change of a person's beliefs, concepts and positions often requires a process of experience.If you adopt an imposing approach, it will often intensify conflicts, deepen estrangement, hurt people's feelings, and produce adverse consequences.And "accepting time" can make conflict resolution more natural and smooth. For example, when someone disagrees with the organization's resolutions, the organization allows them to "reserve their opinions" instead of abusing organizational means to force them to change their views.Of course, the premise is that the decision must be implemented in action.The so-called "allowing reservations" is the method of "accepting time". Under certain conditions, some unprincipled disputes should be dealt with in an ambiguous way, or in order to resolve certain conflicts, some necessary cooperation, compromise or concessions and compromises can be made. For example, encourage the two parties in the conflict to combine their interests so that the requirements of both parties are fully satisfied; or seek a compromise solution between the requirements of the conflicting parties so that both parties can be partially satisfied; or drive one party to give up One's own point of view and interests to meet the requirements of the other party; or encourage the conflicting parties to resolve their differences by hinting or regardless, etc.If both parties are engaged in factional struggles and disputes for the self-interest of their respective small groups, which is completely against the interests of the whole, then when resolving such disputes, there is no need to distinguish who is right, and in fact it is impossible to distinguish who is who. If it is not, it can be dealt with by hitting 50 big boards each. Another example is that the handling of certain troubles is not correct from the perspective of the trouble itself, but in order to help the stability of the overall situation, after explaining the truth, some compromises can be made to their demands without compromising the general principles, so as to ease the contradictions .Although this way of handling disputes may seem simple and indiscriminate, it is still a way of resolving conflicts. When a conflict arises between the two parties, everyone should be given the opportunity to vent their anger and not allow the anger to build up.This can reduce the tension of the conflict and open the door to conflict resolution.The "Health Management Office" established by some organizations and units in Japan adopts this method. For example, if two people quarrel and a major dispute arises, they can be sent to the "Health Management Office" to organize both parties to receive health management education.The first room, as soon as you enter, there is a floor-to-ceiling mirror opposite, and two people stand and look in the mirror.When the two parties were quarreling, they couldn't feel the change in their appearance, they blushed and their necks were thick, and they were very excited. When they looked in the mirror, their prestige immediately stopped, and they reminded themselves that they felt that they were a little out of control today.Then go to the second room, which is a row of distorting mirrors. Both parties look in the mirrors one by one. Through these mirrors, both parties are inspired to treat themselves and others correctly, and not to think of themselves as tall and others as small as the distorting mirrors.Then go forward again and enter the bouncy ball room.There is a hook on the floor and a hook on the roof, and a ball is tightly pulled by a rubber strip in the middle, hanging as high as a person. Let each person hit three times hard. Due to the elastic force, the ball bounces back and hits his own forehead. This is to inspire both parties to understand the relationship between people. It is the same as the action force and reaction force. will hurt you.Further down, is the Pride Image Room.It is a very arrogant straw man made of straw. Each person is hit three times with a stick to let both parties vent and inspire them to deny this arrogant attitude.Going further down, there are many photos hanging on both sides of the corridor. One side shows how young people should live and learn, how to treat others correctly, respect masters and elders; the other side shows the darkness of Japanese society such as young people fooling around in bars and fighting noodle.Comparing the two sides, it inspires young people to treat life correctly.In the end, the two sides exchanged views and expressed their views on each other, and the problem was resolved. This method is also used in some units in our country.According to reports, a certain factory set up an "exhaust room", and in front of the "exit room" was written the following words: "Comrade master, welcome. Do you have any concerns? Please speak out; do you have any good suggestions? Please don’t keep it.” The main leaders of the factory took turns to be on duty to receive the sign.It's a good thing to say, the employees who went in with a stomach full of anger came out unexpectedly light.In the past two years, employees have visited thousands of times, and each case has been registered and settled.People believe that the economic benefits of this factory are getting better and better, and the "venting chamber" also has a part to play. It is not easy to withstand the anger of others, especially when the anger is directed at yourself.In reality, there are such leaders who use officials to oppress others and use power to bully others.Are you angry?I'm sorry, not only did he not vent his anger on you, but instead he opened his mouth to scold you, adding fuel to the fire. As a result, the conflict was intensified, and even a vicious accident was induced, causing a big mess.Therefore, leaders must be magnanimous on this point and be able to endure "unbearable" things.If the leader himself is also a party to the conflict, he must strictly restrain himself, be "high-profile", and not just defend himself. When the heads of various subordinate departments emphasize the status and role of their own work, they should not belittle but also affirm the status and role of other departments.Work cooperation and support should not be just a one-way request, but should become a two-way grant, so that all departments can cancel the self-enclosed state of "the voices of chickens and dogs are heard, and the old and the dead do not communicate with each other" and "everyone cleans up by himself". If there is snow in front of the door, don't care about the frost on other people's roofs". Encouraging mutual support among various departments is a prerequisite for the successful completion of organizational tasks.An organization that supports each other among various departments is a powerful organization.The mutual support between various departments is reflected in the specific work.When a certain department encounters difficulties and resistance, it is a kind of support to encourage another department to take the initiative to solve problems and provide help in terms of human resources and property; Sincere criticism is also a kind of support; when a certain department has conflicts with other departments, instead of ignoring them, they come forward to mediate to help eliminate misunderstandings and resolve conflicts, which is even more support.Mutual support among various departments is an important principle for avoiding conflicts, eliminating contradictions and getting along with each other in a friendly manner. Since each department is in a different position and has different functions in the organizational system, the departments not only have common interests and goals, but also have their own different interests and goals, so there must be competition.The poor status and poor functions of various departments in the organization not only reflect the corresponding rights and obligations, but also reflect the corresponding responsibilities and contributions.This is the objective basis for the competition among various departments of the organization system in the process of collaboration.Within the organization, competition is the most active factor and force, which has the function of continuously changing the organizational system.This function can not only bring about progressive changes in the organizational system, so that the role of the organization can be brought into full play, but also can cause destructive changes in the organizational system, resulting in instability of the organizational system, resulting in structural internal friction and functional internal friction.Reasonable competition requires the formation of a normal competitive relationship between departments, to maximize enthusiasm and creativity, and strive to achieve the overall goal of the organizational system. In reasonable competition, we are opposed to blocking information, dismantling each other, and creating conflicts, and we are also opposed to being satisfied with the status quo, not thinking about making progress, and muddling along.What should be opposed in particular is the kind of unscrupulous and intriguing competition and competition. When conflicts arise between departments of the organizational system, if the scope involved is small, a "negotiation solution" can be adopted.That is, conflicts are resolved through consultation between conflicting departments.During the negotiation, both parties should put the problem on the table, be open and honest, put forward their respective views, clarify their opinions, clarify the conflict factors, and jointly find a solution.If the conflict involves a large area, the "arbitration solution" can be adopted, that is, a third party mediates and conducts arbitration to resolve the conflict.This is the method used when the conflict cannot be resolved after coordination among departments.Here it is required that the arbitrator must have certain authority, preferably trusted by both parties to the conflict, or recognized by society and law, otherwise the arbitration may be invalid. However, no matter which method is used to solve the problem, the leader must maintain fairness and integrity in the process, and be as impartial as a scale. This is not only the need to do a good job in the department, but also the need to handle the relationship between the departments.Communication is two-way and multi-faceted. It should be strengthened mainly in terms of goals, ideas, feelings and information, and then reach a consensus. This is an important basis for coordinating the relationship between leaders of various departments. 1. Communicate on goals Emphasize the overall goal, make them realize the importance of each department and individual's contribution to the overall goal, as well as the necessity of mutual cooperation and coordination, and strive to link departmental interests with common goals, thereby enhancing their respective concerns about organizational goals sense and reduce unnecessary conflicts between departments. To achieve communication and consensus on specific goals.The leaders of various departments should understand and pay attention to each other in the establishment of goals; they should support and promote each other in the implementation of goals; they should adjust and adapt to each other in the conflict of goals; Summarize. 2. Communicate on Thoughts The leaders of various departments should avoid considering issues purely based on the gains and losses of their own departments, but should consider issues from the perspective of the interrelationship of the interests of various departments, that is, the overall situation, including putting themselves in the shoes of other departments and reaching mutually acceptable opinions to prevent One-sidedness in thinking and understanding.Leaders of various departments also have differences in ideas, ways of thinking, and ways of thinking. The resulting contention and differences in viewpoints can be communicated and inspired on an equal basis to narrow the gap in understanding and achieve unity.For misunderstandings and estrangements caused by working relationships, leaders of various departments should be strict with themselves, be lenient to others, and make more self-criticism when necessary to seek understanding. 3. Communicate emotionally Emotional contact and deepening are very important for department leaders.Because it is hard to imagine that there can be harmony at work between department leaders without any emotional communication.To increase emotional communication, in addition to the identification of the target idea, it can also be continuously deepened through work exchanges, visits, cultural and sports activities, public relations activities, etc., so as to create a harmonious emotional environment for working together. Also, communicate on the message.Communication is also the process of conveying and exchanging intelligence information.The reasons for the contradictions and gaps between departments can be found in information communication.Generally speaking, any department that lacks communication will inevitably have poor information transmission, which can easily cause ignorance, incomprehension and incoordination between departments, and even cause some conflicts, which will affect both work and unity; Departments must have smooth information, and it is often easy to win the favor of the other party, gain trust, and form a good relationship between departments.