Chapter 27 3. After the age of 10, girls' education should focus on character cultivation

Gorgeous attire can attract the attention of others, but if a woman wants to be loved by others, she must have a good character.No matter how beautiful the clothes are, they do not belong to us after all.The more modest the dress, the more attention it can attract. Girls must not be taught to pay too much attention to appearance, and clothing should not be used as a reward for them, let alone stimulate their desire for fancy clothes.Even if they're well-dressed, don't compliment them and say, "You look beautiful today." We want them to develop the idea that clothes can hide physical flaws while making beauty visible.I really worry about those girls who wear heavy makeup.I really don't understand: why use powder to cover my face tightly?Isn't simplicity and generosity also a kind of beauty?

When girls grow up, one of the first things they should understand is that inner self-cultivation is much more important than a glamorous appearance.Beauty doesn't come from dressing up, and charm doesn't come from being cultivated overnight. In daily life, they can focus on cultivating an elegant temperament. They should have a pleasant voice, be generous in their gestures, and be polite in their dealings with others. As they grow older, their articulation will become more and more articulate, their bodies will become more rounded, their arms will become fuller, and their expressions on their faces will become more confident.At this time, they will understand that no matter what they dress up, they will be the focus of people.

At this time, they began to realize that they could not stay at home and sew all day, but needed to develop a new talent that would make a huge difference in their lives. In the eyes of dedicated teachers, teaching girls to sing, dance, or perform other arts of entertainment is a waste of time.In their view, "singing secular songs is tantamount to crime, dancing is a trick invented by the devil, and girls don't need other pastimes except doing work and praying." Let 10 year old girls do this all day, God knows what they think!I am very worried that if she is made a believer in God since she was a child and prays to God every day, she will never continue to do so when she grows up and has the ability to act.When they get married, they will definitely have fun and play to make up for the joyless childhood.

We must never let her repeat her grandmother's life, and when giving her something, we must consider whether it is not only suitable for her sex, but also whether it is suitable for her age. Her childhood should be full of laughter, dancing and singing.Let her play those innocent games to her heart's content, for the time is at hand when she must behave herself. Many art forms are used to entertain the body and mind, but people have mixed too many rules into them, making them boring and boring, so that young people can't arouse the slightest interest.For example, can you sing without reading music?Even if you don't know a single note, you can still sing euphemistically and expressively.

Also, is the same song or the same singing style suitable for everyone?It's really hard to imagine what it would be like to have a cute brunette and a sullen blonde doing the same dance and doing the same moves. If a teacher teaches in the same way regardless of the individual differences of his students, I dare say that the teacher is a pedant who is not at all proficient in the art he teaches. This question is often asked: Should female teachers or male teachers take on the task of educating girls?I don't think this question is necessary, because if they are interested, they will take the initiative to learn even if no one teaches them.

If the art is for entertainment, their teacher can be anyone: parents, brothers, sisters, nurses, friends, even mirrors, the most important of which is their interest. This interest is mainly due to nature and hard work.Driven by this interest, they will enthusiastically embrace any concept of beauty, and eventually form the moral concept associated with it.This is why girls are sensible earlier than boys. I must emphasize that the formation of their good qualities has nothing to do with school education. Of all the arts of entertaining mind and body, the art of speaking is the most important one, and it enhances the fascination of sensual objects to a great extent.

People's mind and body are connected, a beautiful mind can add vitality to the body, and even restore youth.Through the cultivation of feelings and ideas, the mind gives us a variety of expressions; through the cultivation of language ability, the mind gives us the interest of focusing attention on a goal. I think the reason why girls can say some flattering things very early is the above reasons.Although they have never felt the kind of emotion they said, they can still speak euphemistically. Although girls can't understand their thoughts, boys are still willing to listen to them.They are always on the lookout for an opportunity to see when girls start showing their emotions.

Compared with boys, girls' tongues are much softer and more flexible, so they learn to speak early and quickly, and their voices are very moving.People often blame a girl for talking too much.On the contrary, I not only do not tire of them, but also praise them. Men only say useful things, which requires them to have a certain reserve of knowledge; women only say interesting things, which requires them to have a funny quality.Although the language of the two is very different, they must follow the same principle, that is, speak with a basis and never lie. Therefore, when a girl keeps nagging in front of you, you must not use "what's the use of this" to block their mouths, just like you do to boys.You have to say to them, "What's the effect of this?" You know, this sentence also makes it difficult for them to answer.

At an age before they have the ability to distinguish right from wrong, good from evil, or guess what others think, they have already cultivated such a rule of speech: no matter what they say, they must be pleasing.But this principle is difficult to implement in practice, because this principle has a premise, that is, you can't lie. Like boys, girls in this age group have no concept of religion, and they do not have the ability to understand religion.In view of this, I suggest that I teach them what religion is now, because it will be too late to tell them after they have acquired the ability to talk about these mysterious things.

Just as women's behavior is bound by social conventions, their beliefs cannot be chosen by themselves.Before marriage, they have to have the same faith as their mother, and after marriage, they have to have the same faith as their husband.They have no judgment of their own in these matters, so they listen to their words as they do to the religion of their father or husband. When instilling religious ideas in girls, it is important not to give them the impression that religion is eerie or boring.Religious belief is not their job, and they don't have to fulfill such obligations, so don't force them to recite creeds or prayers.

When you pray, you can ask them to come and watch, but you can't force them to do it with you.Also, you must strictly follow the teachings of Jesus Christ, your prayers should be simple and concise, and your expression should be solemn and dignified. When girls are young, what matters is not whether they believe in religion or not, but whether they have a correct understanding of religion and love religion from the bottom of their hearts. If you impose all kinds of obligations on them in the name of religion, let them feel that religion is the source of all their burdens, and you can't complain about God in your heart, plus you never do what you ask them to The things you do, think what a bad impression they will make of you! You have to lead by example and set an example for them, otherwise, you are not qualified to educate them, let alone educate them well. When teaching religion to girls, you can just give one-sided explanations, not in the form of questions and answers.If the answers were predetermined, there would be no need for them to respond.Don't always ask them questions unless you want them to speak their minds. Not only will the catechism not have the desired effect, but it will appear that they are educating you.They don't understand at all, but you force them to answer; they don't believe it at all, but you force them to praise.So they have no choice but to lie. The first question in the catechism is usually: Who created you and brought you into this world?Faced with such cross-examination, they knew that the answer was their mother, but they answered "God" without hesitation.Although they didn't know why it was God, the doctrinal textbook said so, and that was all they could answer. If only someone who understood the psychology of children wrote a doctrinal book just for them.In the doctrinal class, they can answer according to their inner thoughts and ask questions freely without worrying about the answers in the textbooks. For example, at the beginning of the chapter, the new doctrinal textbook can construct such a question and answer scene: Auntie: Do you remember when your mother was your age? Little girl: There was no me at that time. Aunt: You mean you were not born then? Little girl: Yes. Aunt: Will you live forever in this world? Little girl: I think so. Aunt: Are you young or old now? Little girl: I'm still very young. Aunt: What about your grandma? Little girl: She is very old. Auntie: Do you think you will become like her in the future? Little girl: I don't know. Aunt: How is your grandpa now? Little girl; he's dead. Aunt: How did he die? Little girl: He's too old. Auntie: In that case, then you... Little girl: Stop talking, I don't want to die! This question and answer could go on endlessly until she understood that the human race had a beginning and an end, just like other creatures.After she's cleared up everything from parents without parents to children who no longer have children, we'll ask her the first question of the catechism. The second question should involve the definition of divinity, but there must be a long time span between these two questions.God is a god, but what is a god?Don't embarrass a child with such an obscure metaphysical question. There's a good chance she'll ask you that question, though.You can answer her like this: "I don't know what God is. He is invisible and intangible, but he does some things. If we want to understand him, we must first know what he does." Those mystical teachings are nothing but a mass of empty words, so discard all but a few of them concerning morality.Let them be convinced that the only teachings worth learning are those which help to develop good characters. Don't raise your daughter to be a theologian or a sophist, let her know that everything she says and does is in the eyes of God, and she should keep smiling all her life, just like she should when she meets God in the future That expression.This is the true belief in religion, which can help people stay away from evil or arrogance forever. One thing to note is that as long as girls have not grown to the age where they can awaken their conscience with reason or emotion, their judgment of right and wrong will be completely dependent on the people around them. In their concept, what is allowed to do is right, and what is not allowed to do is wrong. Therefore, compared with boys, girls should be more cautious when choosing who to train and who they come into contact with.When they have independent judgment ability, they cannot be educated according to the original method. There is a law that precedes the prejudices of human society, and all other laws presuppose the existence of this law.It is the standard for adjudicating human behavior, and any behavior that violates it will be cast aside by others. Yes, this law is the inner conscience, the conscience.When educating girls, we must start with other people's evaluation and inner conscience, otherwise, they will not be able to form a sound personality. If they only pay attention to conscience and don't care about other people's evaluation, they will not have a kind heart, let alone try to win the respect of others.If they only pay attention to other people's evaluations and ignore their own conscience, they will become more and more hypocritical, thus losing their sense of morality, drowning in other people's words, and eventually becoming superficial women. Therefore, we should cultivate girls' ability to balance these two influences, so that they will not lose their conscience, nor will they be swayed by social prejudice.This ability is reason. When the word "rationality" is mentioned, a series of questions will follow: Do women need reason?Can they be rational?Will they abandon their natural responsibilities after gaining rationality?Wouldn't cultivating reason run counter to their innocent nature? Both men and women must understand their vocation through reason.Compared with men, it is easier for women to understand what their bounden duty is. As long as their beliefs are not distorted, and they do not exclude someone from guiding their inner conscience, and they also know what the destiny entrusts to women is, they will be good wives who are loyal to their husbands and good mothers who are gentle to their children. Women's behavior is governed by the judgment of others and their inner conscience, and they should learn how to reconcile the two, so their rationality must be cultivated.