Chapter 26 2. Before the age of 10, the physical development of girls should precede the spiritual shaping

It is a girl's nature to like to dress up.This is almost what all girls think: it is not enough to be beautiful, they need to be considered beautiful by others. If you don't believe me, just look at their expressions.When they are old enough to understand what others are saying, you can easily control them as long as you judge them. However, if you treat boys in the same way, you will not get this effect.Because boys only care about whether they are happy or not, and never take other people's opinions to heart, so if you want boys to listen to you, you have to work hard. The development of the body precedes the shaping of the spirit, so the body must be cultivated first, regardless of men and women, this point is the same, the difference is the focus of training for men and women: boys cultivate physical strength, girls cultivate charm .

But the two are not in conflict, but the order of training men and women is reversed.Because girls can do what they want better only if they have enough strength; boys can only get better results when they become more dexterous. Although it is not necessary for women to be as strong as men, physical exercise is also necessary, because if they are too weak, the children born will not be very healthy. Although the girls boarding in the monastery eat simple food every day, they have a relatively large amount of activities and often play outside the house or in the garden, so their physical fitness is very good.

And those girls who are locked in the house all day can eat nutritious meals every day, but they can only stay in the house. Without the mother's permission, they dare not go out without permission to play and dance freely. All the instincts of movement were stifled. Just look at them, dull, lazy, or conceited.This kind of education is completely contrary to reason, and it is not conducive to their physical and mental health. Bad manners are the chief culprit of all actions that enslave a child's nature, and are the cause of weakness of body and shrinking of mind.Life, health, comfort and reason, these are the most important things in life.

A person who has lost his freedom cannot have a good character, and a person who is sick all day cannot exude charm.Weakness can only lead to sympathy and pity for you from others, but health can bring joy and happiness to yourself and others. Many games are suitable for both boys and girls. This does not change as they grow older, but there are many different hobbies. For example, boys are always restless. They like sports and playing. Spinning tops, pushing carts and playing drums are all their passions, while girls are fond of good-looking things or things that can satisfy their desire to dress up. Mirrors , beads, lace, and dolls can coax them very happy.

The dolls are the only ones I want to highlight, because few girls can resist the allure of such gadgets.In girls' minds, pleasing others can be said to be their lifelong career, and the best way to please others is to dress up, and dressing up is an art they are best at. Give a girl a doll and she can play with it all day long.She kept changing the doll's various outfits, putting on and taking off the clothes, taking off and putting on the accessories, and didn't care whether it looked good or not.Her fingers were clumsy and her aesthetic taste was poor, but her tendency to dress up was evident.

Maybe you will say, "she's just dressed up as a doll, which doesn't explain anything".It is true that the object of her grooming is not herself, but this is because she is too young and her self-consciousness has not yet been stimulated. She still doesn't have the ability and physical strength to dress herself up, so she can only spend all her thoughts on the doll.Her pity for the doll is actually pity for herself.This state won't last long, and soon, that rag doll will be replaced by herself. Her first hobby is reflected in this behavior, don't stop her from doing it, you just need to give her a little guidance.She got into the game of dressing up the doll with all her heart, tying bows or scarves on it, but these tasks were beyond her ability, and she thought it would be nice if she learned to do these things herself.

Therefore, teaching them how to do needlework is the kindness of others, and no one forces them to learn, it is entirely out of their own will.Almost all girls are more interested in needlework than reading and writing.They hope that they can grow up quickly so that they have the ability to dress themselves up. Once this kind of mentality is formed, it will be much easier to study later.Those grown women mostly like exquisite wallpapers, curtains, and furniture, but these things can't arouse little girls' interest at all.They cared for nothing but needlework, lacework, and embroidery.

This made me think of such a way: since they like to dress up, why don't we lead their hobby to painting?You know, they have the same psychological motivation for painting and dressing up. But I don't want them to learn to draw landscapes or figures, as long as they can draw leaves, flowers and some clothing patterns, it is enough, because these paintings help to cultivate their aesthetic vision for clothing, so as to find out what suits their own taste. One or several kinds, and then embroider them out. Children should only learn what is useful to them, especially girls, because although women don't have to do heavy physical work, they worry about more areas than men, and it is easy to focus on one thing and lose another, which makes They have no opportunity to leave their vocation and do what they like.

Both men and women are rational.Compared with boys, girls are more docile, so they can be disciplined more strictly, but this does not mean that we have the right to let them do things that are not beneficial to them.In everything you do, you have to tell them how it works, it's a mother's job. This is not difficult to do, because girls' minds mature earlier than boys.Whether it is girls or boys, we should not teach them useless knowledge, or knowledge that is only useful for the future.When a girl does not know the usefulness of reading, don't let her soak in the pile of books all day, just like don't let a boy get in touch with books too early.

If they don't study, are they allowed to do housework?You don't need to worry at all. When they want to learn or have the opportunity to learn, she will take the initiative to learn without you teaching. Arithmetic should be the first thing they acquire, for it is never useless at any time, and it is only by long hours of practice that it cannot be infallible. If you tell them that they can get a cherry if they get a certain problem right, I can guarantee that they will do it fast and well. Before asking her to do something, you must tell her the meaning of doing so, and tell her to do it well.Laziness and rebellion are the biggest shortcomings of girls, and once these two shortcomings are formed, it will be difficult to change them.

For a girl, it is not enough to be careful and hardworking, she must also obey discipline.If it makes her feel painful, then this kind of pain is what she has to bear, and she can't even get rid of it in her life. However, as long as they get used to this kind of discipline, they will not feel pain.Don't let them indulge in random thoughts all day long, so that they will become more and more docile.Don't always keep them in a busy state, give them a proper leisure time.Just teach them self-control, and they will not become frivolous and indulgent. Girls are to be taught that they cannot indulge in play all day while neglecting the duties nature has placed upon them.Fenalon once said that the general education method not only fails to make girls aware of their responsibilities, but makes them like to play more. As long as they can play with the people around them, girls will be very disgusted with work.Conversely, if girls see their favorite mother or friend busy, they will gladly join in their labor.Women are born in a subordinate position, so they must be taught to be submissive and docile. Since the freedom girls have is extremely limited, they are more eager to exercise their freedom. Compared with boys, they are more enthusiastic about playing games, and they also play more vigorously in games.Their arbitrariness must be restrained, otherwise they will easily develop capricious tempers. For girls with this defect, what they eagerly desire today will be abandoned tomorrow.This habit is as harmful to them as extremes. Of course, I don't mean to deprive them of the right to play and play, but to let them know that they must not scoff at the old game just because they like the new game.You must not relax your control over them, and even throughout your life, let them live within the sight of others. Get them into the habit of doing what they are told to do, no matter how much fun they have.This is in line with their nature, so it is easy to do. A girl who is used to living under the constraints of others must have this beautiful quality: docile.This is the first and most important quality she develops. Because the men who live with her or around her are seldom perfect, and most of them have all kinds of defects and vices, so a woman must learn to endure, and she can't be wronged when she is treated unfairly. No complaints.But her meekness is not to accommodate others, but to achieve herself. If she is always willful and mischievous, then not only will she not be loved by her husband, but she will also make her husband develop more and more bad habits.Men should be like men, and women should be like women. If men are too weak, women will become too strong.However, if a woman is docile enough, sooner or later a man will bow to her. In order to make a girl docile, the mother cannot blindly take strong measures, and the cultivation of good qualities cannot be at the expense of her happiness.It's okay for her to be a bit naughty sometimes, as long as she doesn't rebel against "meekness" itself. We don't need to ask her to be obedient in everything, but let her develop the habit of obedience.Sensitivity is an endowment endowed by nature. I believe that all natural things must have their rationality, so we must give full attention to this endowment. While cultivating this endowment, we must also prevent her from abusing it . All natural laws must be useful to us, so we should obey them.Although women lack physical strength, God has compensated them with quick minds. If this is also lost, women will not be men's companions, but only his slaves. With this advantage, they obtained equal status with men, and even turned their superficial obedience into actual domination.Not every girl is born beautiful, and no matter how beautiful they are, they will grow old with the passage of time. Therefore, only alertness is the only capital that women can rely on for a long time. By "capital" I don't mean the tricks they use in social situations to please others, but a quality that allows them to adapt and play their gender roles well, and it is also a quality that he can use. The art of taking a man's position or advantage for his own benefit. A woman's tact can accomplish many things, but few realize it.It can make women exude charming charm in their interactions with men, and it can also help women manage the family well, so that children will no longer be surly, and husbands will no longer be rough. Of course, tact can also be used by women who misbehave and do things that are despised, but then again, is there anything in the world that is not abused? We cannot ignore the benefits it will surely bring because of the harm it may bring, and only with its help can we embark on the road to happiness.