Chapter 6 5. Good and evil, right and wrong, coexist in the nature of children

Only with reason can we have the ability to distinguish between good and evil.Although human conscience is independent of reason, human conscience cannot develop without reason. When we are not yet of a rational age, whether we do good or evil is not based on our own judgment. It can even be said that our actions are not good or evil, although sometimes we can distinguish whether other people's actions are good or evil. malicious. Children have a destructive mentality. He is always used to smashing things in his hands, or killing a bird at will, just like dropping a rock, and he doesn't even know that he has done it. Wrong thing.

How to explain the child's behavior?According to philosophers, there are evil elements in human nature such as pride, selfishness, and competitiveness. In addition to these, it may be added that just because the child is physically weak, he tends to do some violent things, so as to prove his strength to others, so that others can be sure that his body is not weak. Human life is a continuous cycle. Looking at those frail and sick elderly people, their bodies have returned to the weak state of children.They are physically exhausted, longing for peace, and want everything around them to be still, even the slightest movement will disturb them.

The bodies of old people and children are weak, but why are their behaviors so different?In addition to the difference in physical condition, we can also explore the reasons from the following aspects. Both the old man and the child have the same vitality of life, the difference is that the vitality of the child is constantly increasing, while the vitality of the old man is gradually disappearing. One is going to life, the other is going to die; one is expanding vigorously, and the other is rapidly declining.Just this exuberant vitality is enough to make everything around the child come alive.It doesn't matter what the children do, as long as they can change the original state of things and prove their strength.

It doesn't make him a bad boy if, in all his behavior, he is more destructive.Because destruction is much easier than construction, destruction is more suitable for his current state of life. Although the vitality of children is so exuberant, the Creator has endowed them with a very small ability to move, lest they cause harm to themselves or others.If they learn to use tools or rely on others, they will stop at nothing to satisfy their desires. In this way, they became more and more outrageous and annoying.But their psychology of dominating others is acquired, not born. Over time, they will form such a psychological experience: it is indeed a very pleasant thing to borrow someone else's hand to do things for themselves, and they only need to move their lips.

As they grow up, as their bodies become stronger, children are no longer as annoying as before, but better able to control their emotions.Although the body is free to act as the spirit wishes, nature does not allow them to engage in any other activity than self-preservation. The desire to dominate others has long been rooted in their hearts and cannot be easily eliminated.Driven by this desire, they began to develop vanity, and under the influence of habit, this vanity is still expanding infinitely. Immediately afterwards, various illegitimate ideas appeared one after another, and in this way, their prejudices were accompanied by the formation of personal opinions.

After understanding this truth, once they deviate from the natural way, they can easily perceive it, and know exactly what principles they should adhere to in order to return to this way.Children's powers are too limited to do what nature requires of them. Because they will not use these powers indiscriminately, let them use all the powers that nature bestows on them.This is one of the guidelines. Whether it is intellectual or physical, we must help children to make up for their own shortcomings, wherever they are physically needed.This is the second rule. We only need to help them where they really need. As for those unreasonable troubles or excessive demands, we must not condone them.Because those demands are not natural, and if they are not satisfied, they will not cause pain to the child.This is the third rule.

Watch their words and actions carefully.Because they haven't learned to fake it, we can tell which of their needs are natural and which of our own.This is the fourth rule. The core principle of these guidelines is: give children more free space and do less for them, so that they can have more opportunities to do it themselves. In this way, they will not have desires beyond their own ability, will not feel that their power has been deprived, and will not have the idea of ​​enslaving others. All we have to do is keep the kids safe, as long as they don't hurt themselves by falling or touching something else, we should give them enough freedom to move their bodies.

Children who are able to move freely cry much less than children who are physically restrained.At this time, the child has only physical needs, and the child will cry when he is not feeling well. A crying child is actually a signal that an adult needs help, and if you're offering the right help, don't try to stop your child from crying with stroking.If you do this, you will only let the child find a way to subdue you and make you his slave. When a child is less hindered in his daily activities, he cries less.In my opinion, the more undisciplined children are, the less likely they are to cry.

Of course, I am not saying that adults should ignore children.Instead, we need to be able to predict the child's thoughts and meet his needs before he cries. But it should be noted that he cannot be misunderstood this concern.When children know that crying can satisfy their needs, it is easy to use crying to blackmail adults. If the child keeps crying, the reason is not physical discomfort or unmet needs, but crying has become a habit, or has a stubborn temper. This is mostly caused by the improper practice of the nanny.If you want to prevent or change this situation, just ignore your child's crying behavior.

In this world, no one likes to do worthless things, and so do children.When he found that crying did not satisfy him, he stopped crying easily. Of course, the child will be very stubborn at first, so we must be ruthless and persevere until the end.In this way, the child will give up crying and develop the habit of crying less. Another way to subdue a crying child is to use something fun to attract their attention and make them forget about crying.Most nannies are self-taught in this method and it works very well. It should be noted that during this process, the nanny must not let the children know that they are intentionally distracting them, nor let them find that the nanny is paying attention to them.

Generally speaking, the time for weaning children is relatively early, and the best time for weaning should be after the child has teeth.When teething, there will be a certain amount of pain, and the child will instinctively put something in his mouth and bite.Some adults think that giving children a hard bite will help their teeth grow, but this is wrong. Hard objects can cause calluses to form on the gums, which can be more painful when the teeth break through the calluses.By observing the behavior of animals, we can also find the right way. For example, when a puppy grinds his teeth, he will not bite hard bones, but will tear wood, leather, rags or other soft things, which will not hurt the teeth. Of course, if you want to help your teeth develop better, you can let your child practice chewing more.When your child is trying to swallow, saliva helps your child digest food.