Chapter 23 2. Master the initiative of communication

Introduction: Effectively controlling the topic is indeed very important to persuade a person. Only by mastering the initiative of communication can we finally achieve the goal of persuading the other party. Just like most salesmen, when they sell their products to customers, they often cannot grasp the initiative of speaking, which leads to the final failure of the conversation. A book salesman knocked on the door of a family and said to a wife: "Madam, our books are of very good quality and the binding is also very beautiful. Do you think there is anything you need?" What kind of reaction will there be?In most cases, the salesman's response was, "No!" and the door was closed.It can be seen that such a salesman is not a good salesman.

Then, as an excellent salesman, he will better understand the art of speaking when selling.Let us speculate on the sales of a good salesman. Salesman: "Good morning, ma'am! Are all your children in school?" A Mrs.: "Yes." Salesman: "What grade is your child in?" A certain wife: "The older one is in fifth grade, and the younger one is in second grade." Salesman: "They must all be smart?" Mrs. A: "Yes, of course." Salesman: "Do they usually like to read books?" A certain wife: "Sometimes." Salesman: "I think I have some books they might like..."

We can imagine that the salesman's probability of success should be very high.Why?Because he has mastered the art of selling very well and controlled the topic well during the conversation. If you want our conversation to be a fruitful conversation, then you have to find ways to guide the other party, or ask clever questions, or choose a topic that the other party is interested in, and secretly lead the conversation in the direction we expect, so that we can persuade other side. President Hoover's taciturnity discouraged many reporters, and it was almost impossible to get words out of his mouth.But a Chicago reporter did it easily and got President Hoover talking for more than two hours.

At that time, Hoover was the Republican presidential candidate.The young reporter Liniti happened to take the same train with him and got the chance to interview him.At first, when Liniti asked some questions, Hoover always answered simply "yes" or "no" and then fell into long meditation.Linetti felt embarrassed, although he had known Hoover's habits for a long time.He had to ask questions while figuring out how to deal with the situation. As the train passed through poor and desolate Nevada, Linetti suddenly thought of a good topic.Looking out the window, he seemed to say to himself: "In this place, people should still use that ancient method of mining?" At this time, Hoover immediately said: "That method has long been used. , and now the whole country is adopting the latest mining methods." Then, Hoover seemed to be opened, and he talked endlessly, from mining to oil, from aviation to postal service...

At that time, those who took the train with Hoover were all famous people, but Hoover ignored them, but talked to Linetti for more than two hours. Liniti was originally an unknown reporter, but because he talked with President Hoover on a suitable topic, he became the reporter who had the longest conversation with President Hoover.Topics, it seems, do play a vital role in conversation.If you do not find a suitable topic, it is not difficult to imagine that the result of the conversation will not be ideal. Effectively controlling the topic is indeed very important to persuade a person.Socrates is famous for being good at words. The question and answer method he created has enduring charm and has become a classic way of conversation.The core content of the question-and-answer method is that when we are talking with people, if we want to persuade the other party, when we inevitably face some divergent topics, we need to discuss the common points of this topic (as opposed to differences) on the topic. Take control and make the other party answer in the affirmative step by step.In this way, the conversation can be steered in our favor.

Let's take a look at how a good talker uses this method to successfully persuade others.Carl is a salesman for an automobile company. The following is a conversation he had with a client. Carl: Hello, would you be interested in taking a look at our company's 4-ton car? Customer: Actually we already have a 2 ton car and this suits us better. Carl: Well, at least for now, a 2-ton car is a better deal than a 4-ton car, isn't it? Customer: Exactly. Carl: May I know, what is the average load capacity of the car you need? Customer: 2 tons. Carl: Is this an average? Clients: Average.

Carl: Well, that means you could potentially use it to ship more than 2 tons, right? Customer: Yes. Carl: If you're driving over hilly terrain with more than two tons of cargo, your car is under more stress than normal, isn't it? Customer: Exactly, and it's normal because we drive a lot in hilly areas. Carl: As far as I know, winter is generally the peak season for car operations, is that true? Customer: Yes.In summer, business is generally very light, but in winter it is often overloaded. Karl: Unfortunately, the winters in the hills are usually very long. Customer: Yes.

Carl: So, in other words, your car is constantly overloaded? Customer: That's right. Carl: Of course it affects its lifespan, don't you think? Customer: Yes. Carl: So, do you think that if you own two cars, and you run the 4-ton car in the high season and the 2-ton car in the off-season, doesn't the lifespan of both cars increase? Customer: That seems to be the case. In this way, Carl then got an order.But as we can see from this conversation, at first it looks like the customer doesn't need to buy a car because he already has one, but that's okay.Karl skillfully used persuasion techniques to make the conversation develop in his favor, and finally succeeded.This is the great role of controlling the topic, and this method is also a reference for us.

To clarify the purpose, rather than being led by the nose: (1) Make the other party think along your line of thought through roundabout ways, which will often get twice the result with half the effort. (2) Control the initiative of speaking and not let the conversation lose its direction, so as to achieve the effect you want. (3) To persuade others without being persuaded by others, the most important thing is to take the initiative in the conversation.