Chapter 44 Talk about what the other person is most interested in

Everyone who has visited President Roosevelt will be amazed by his profound knowledge. "Whether it was a shepherd boy or a knight, or a politician or diplomat in New York," wrote Bradford, the authoritative author on Roosevelt, "Roosevelt knew what to talk to him about." So how did Roosevelt do it?It's easy!No matter who Roosevelt wanted to meet, he would always sleep a little later the night before the other party's arrival, and read some knowledge that the other party was particularly interested in.Roosevelt, like all leaders, knew that the best way to get in touch with each other's inner thoughts was to talk to him about the things that interested him most.

Mr. Philip, the former professor of Yale University, is a very kind person.He learned this truth at an early age. "When I was eight years old, I went to my aunt's house for a weekend," Philip wrote in an essay about human nature. "A middle-aged man came to my aunt's house one evening. After a few casual conversations, he turned his attention to me. I was very interested in boats at the time, and this visitor talked to me about this subject, which of course aroused my special interest. He I have admired him since I left. He is a lawyer in New York, and he should not have been so enthusiastic about boats, or even interested at all."

"But why does he talk to me all the time about ships?" Philip asked his aunt.My aunt said: "Because he is a noble person. He sees that you are very interested in boats, so he talks about these topics that you care about and are interested in. In this way, he makes himself a popular person." Finally, Professor Philip added: "I will never forget these words my aunt said to me." At this moment when I am writing this part of the chapter, there is a letter from Mr. Charif before me, He was a man who was very passionate about the cause of the Boy Scouts. "One day, I felt that I needed someone's help," Mr. Charif wrote in the letter. "There will be a boy scout summer camp in Europe. I would like to invite the manager of a large American company to sponsor me and a boy scout. travel expenses. Fortunately, before I went to visit the manager, I heard that he had written a check for $1 million. You know, it was $1 million! So, after meeting him, I Tell him I've never in my life heard of a check for such a huge amount; and I'm going to tell my boy scouts that I did see a check for a million dollars. The manager was very happy as a result He handed me the check. I kept admiring it, and asked him to give me the details of how it was drawn."

Note that Mr. Charif initially did not talk to the other about the Boy Scouts or the European summer camps, or about the help he wanted.He just talks about topics that the other party is interested in, so that the other party is willing to talk to him.Then there arose what Mr. Charife says: "After a while, the manager I was visiting asked me: 'Oh, what can I do for you?' I told him about me. To my surprise, he not only agreed immediately He graciously offered me more support at my request. I only asked him to sponsor one scout to go to Europe, but he generously funded five scouts and myself, and gave me a ticket. A check for $1000 and a suggestion that we spend 7 weeks in Europe. He then wrote me a letter of introduction introducing me to his European branch manager and asking him to help us then.

"When we arrived in Europe, he personally picked us up in Paris and took us on a tour of this beautiful city. Since then, he has been very enthusiastic about our scout cause and often provides job opportunities for scouts from poor families .” Mr. Charif said again: "But I also know very well that if I hadn't found a topic of interest to him and made him happy, then not only would this matter not be so easy, I think there might even be a 1/10 chance. nothing." Is this approach also valuable in commercial activities?Let's take an example, let's take a look at how Mr. Dufino, the manager of Dufino, a high-end bread company in New York, did it:

Mr. Dufino had been trying to sell his bread to a big restaurant in New York.For four consecutive years, Mr. Dufino has visited the manager of the hotel almost every week, and often attends various social gatherings organized by the manager.In order to facilitate this business, Mr. Dufino even rented a room in this hotel and lived there, hoping to make this business.But despite Mr. Dufreno's best efforts, he was unable to get the manager's big bucks to sign off on the contract. "Then," said Mr. Duverneau, "I did my research on human interaction and decided to change tack. I decided to find out what the person was interested in, what he cared about most, what he was most passionate about.

"I found out that he is a member of the American Hotel Industry Association. Not only that, because he has such strong interest and enthusiasm for this cause, he was elected as the chairman of this organization. Every time there is a meeting or any event, he No matter how busy you are, you will come to participate without hesitation. “So, when I visited him again, I started talking to him about the hotel association. Guess what his reaction was? It was amazing how good the reaction I got! He spent half an hour with me Talking about the hotel industry association, he was full of energy and enthusiasm throughout the conversation, and his voice was very loud. From this, I could see that he was interested in the hotel industry association. It can be said that he put all his All the energy was put into it. Just before I left his office, he persuaded me to join the association.

"During the entire meeting, I didn't mention a single word about bread to him. But within a few days, I received a call from his hotel executive, asking me to send the bread samples and quotations." I I don't know what magic you put on the old man,' the executive said to me on the phone, 'he's really impressed by you!' "Imagine, I've been dealing with this manager for four years, trying to sell him bread, but without success. If I hadn't managed to find out what he was interested in, and learned what he was willing to discuss, I'm afraid I I’m still fighting with him to death, but I’ve gotten nothing!”

So, if you want someone to like you, remember this skill of interpersonal communication: talk about the topics that are most interesting to the other person.