Chapter 3 Recognize the importance of self-criticism

I have a private folder in my filing cabinet labeled "Stupid Things I've Done."Inserted in the folder are transcripts of some of the stupid things I've done.I sometimes dictate to my secretary for notes, but sometimes these things are so personal and stupid that I don't have the face to ask my secretary to take notes, so I have to write them down myself. Every time I pull out that "folly" file and revisit my own criticisms, it helps me deal with the most intractable problem of all—managing myself.I used to blame others for my troubles, but as I got older and Hope got a little wiser—I finally realized that the only one to blame was myself.Many people realize this as they grow older.When Napoleon was exiled to St. Heron Island, he said: "My failure is entirely my own responsibility, and no one can be blamed. My worst enemy is actually myself, and this is also the main cause of my tragic fate."

I am going to tell you the story of a man who knew the art of self-management. His name is Howell. On July 31, 1944, news of his sudden death at the Ambassador Hotel in New York shocked the nation.Wall Street is even more commotion, because he is the leader of the American financial circles, once served as the chairman of the American Commercial Trust Bank, and concurrently served as the director of several large companies.With limited formal education, he worked as a clerk in a small country shop, then as credit manager for U.S. Steel, and worked his way up to positions of greater power.

I once asked Mr. Howell the secret of his success, and he told me: "For years I have had a notepad of appointments for the day. My family never expected me to be home on weekend nights, because they knew that I often Weekend evenings are reserved for self-reflection and assessing my work performance during the week. After dinner, alone, I open my notebook and review all the interviews, discussions and meetings that have taken place throughout the week. I ask myself: 'What did I do wrong? What is going right? What else can I do to improve my job performance? What can I learn from this experience?' This weekly review sometimes makes me so unhappy. Sometimes I can hardly believe myself Of course, as I get older, this situation is less and less, I have always maintained this habit of self-analysis, and it has helped me a lot.”

Howell's approach may have been learned from Franklin.But Franklin didn't wait until the weekend. He did some self-reflection every night.He found 13 serious errors.Three of them are: wasting time, caring about trivial matters, and arguing with people.The wise Franklin knew that if these shortcomings were not corrected, no great cause could be achieved.So, he set a goal to improve on one shortcoming a week, and recorded which side won every day.The next week, he's working on another bad habit: He's been battling his flaws for two years. No wonder Franklin became a beloved and influential figure.Albert Hubbert said: "Everyone is not smart enough for at least 5 minutes a day, and wisdom seems to have a sense of powerlessness."

Ordinary people are often angered by criticism from others, but wise people find ways to learn from it.The poet Whitman once said: "Do you think you can only learn from those who like you, admire you, and agree with you? Don't you get more lessons from those who oppose you and criticize you?" Instead of waiting If the enemy comes to attack us or our work, it is better to do it yourself.We can be our own harshest critics.We should identify and deal with our weaknesses ourselves before others catch us.Darwin did just that.When Darwin completed his immortal work——, he realized that this revolutionary theory would definitely shake the entire religious and academic circles.Therefore, he took the initiative to start self-criticism, and spent 15 years constantly checking information, challenging his own theory, and criticizing his own conclusions.

Do you get angry or resentful if someone calls you stupid?Let's see how Lincoln handles it.Lincoln's secretary of war, Edward Stanton, once criticized the president in this way. Stanton was angry because of Lincoln's interference.To please some self-serving politicians, Lincoln signed an order to move the regiment.Not only did Stanton refuse to carry out Lincoln's order, but he accused Lincoln of being foolish for signing it.Someone told Lincoln about it, and Lincoln replied calmly, "If Stanton calls me stupid, I'm probably really stupid, because he's almost always right. I'll go and have a talk with him myself."

Lincoln actually went to see Stanton, and Stanton pointed out that his order was wrong, and Lincoln withdrew it.Lincoln was tolerant of criticism, as long as he believed the other party was sincere and willing to help. You and I should also welcome such criticism, because we can't always be right.Even President Roosevelt could only hope to be right three times out of four.Einstein, the greatest scientist today, also admitted that 99% of his conclusions are wrong.French writer Lalaus Fogou once said: "The enemy's view of us may be closer to the truth than our own view." I think this sentence is often true, but when I am criticized, if I don't remind myself, I will still take a defensive posture without thinking.Each time I was extremely dissatisfied with myself.Right or wrong, people always hate to be criticized and like to be appreciated.We are not logical animals, but emotional animals.Our reason is like a flat boat in a stormy ocean.

Find ways not to rush into defense when we hear others talk about our shortcomings.Because every mindless person is like that.Let's be smarter and more humble, and we can say grandly: "If I let him know my other shortcomings, I'm afraid he will criticize me even more!" I have discussed how to deal with malicious attacks.Now here's another thought: When you're burning with anger at a malicious attack, why not first tell yourself, "Wait a minute... I'm not perfect. Even Einstein admitted he was 99% wrong, Maybe I'm not right at least 80% of the time. This criticism may come at the right time, and if it is, I should be grateful for it and find a way to benefit from it."

Charles Luckman, the president of a large American company, once invited Bob Hope to appear on the radio show with $1 million.Bob never read letters that praised him, only those that criticized him, because he knew he could learn something from them.Ford Motor Company specially invites employees to criticize the company in order to understand what is missing in management and operation. I know a soap salesman who even offered to be critiqued.When he started selling soap for Colgate, orders were few.He's worried about losing his job, and he's sure there's nothing wrong with the product or the price, so the problem must be him.Whenever he failed to make a sale, he would walk down the street and figure out what was wrong, was it not convincing enough, or not enthusiastic enough?Sometimes he would turn back and ask the merchant: "I didn't come back to sell you soap, I hope to get your opinion and correction. Please tell me, what did I do wrong just now? You have more experience than me. , the career is successful again. Please give me a little correction, it’s okay to be blunt, please don’t keep it.”

This attitude won him many friendships, as well as valuable advice.Want to know his development?He later rose to become president of Colgate, the largest soap company of our time.He is Mr. Little.Only a wise man with a big heart can look up to Howell, Franklin, and Little.When no one is around, why don't you ask yourself what kind of person you are?