Chapter 41 The price of revenge is too high

"Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you; bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you." One night many years ago, I was traveling through Yellowstone National Park.A forester on horseback told our excited group of tourists about bears.He said: "There is a kind of grizzly bear that can probably knock down all other animals except buffalo and another black bear. But one night, I found a small animal-only one, that can kill a grizzly bear and a black bear. It was eating together under the light. That was a skunk! The grizzly knew he could knock the skunk unconscious with one slap of his giant paw, but why didn't he do that? Because he learned from experience, It’s not worth it to do that.”

I also understand this truth.As a child, I caught four-legged skunks on farms in Missouri; as an adult, I often encountered two-legged people who looked like skunks on the streets of New York.I've learned from many unfortunate experiences that it's not a good idea to mess with any kind of skunk. When we hate our enemies, we actually give them the power to win.This force can affect our sleep, our appetite, our blood pressure, our health and our happiness.Enemies would dance for joy if they knew how they worried us, distressed us, and bent us on revenge.Instead of hurting them, our resentment makes our lives hell.

"If selfish people try to take advantage of you, ignore them and don't try to get even. Once you get even with him, you'll hurt yourself more than the guy..." Guess who this is said?It sounds like a great idealist, but it's not. This passage originally appeared in a circular issued by the Milwaukee Police Department. How does revenge hurt us?There are many places to hurt.Retaliation can even be detrimental to one's health, according to an article in Life magazine: A key trait of people with high blood pressure is resentment.Chronic anger, high blood pressure and heart disease can follow.

Now you should understand that what Jesus said "love your enemy" is not just a moral admonition, but also a 20th-century medical principle.When he says "Forgive 70 7s," he's telling us how to avoid high blood pressure, heart disease, stomach ulcers, and all sorts of other ailments. A friend had a heart attack. The doctor ordered him to lie in bed and told him not to get angry no matter what happened.Anyone who knows a little medical knowledge knows that for a person with a weak heart, losing his temper may kill him.A few years ago, in Spokane, Washington, a restaurateur died suddenly due to excessive anger.I have with me a letter from Police Chief Jerry Schwart of Spokane, Washington, in which he says: "William Trancamp, 68, opened a diner because the cook drank from a saucer. Angry over the coffee, he grabbed a revolver and ran after the cook, only to collapse and die of a heart attack, still clutching the gun. The coroner's report showed that he was Anger caused a heart attack and died."

When Jesus said, "Love your enemy," he was telling us how to improve our appearance.We can often see women whose faces are often wrinkled with too much resentment, distorted with regret, and frozen in expression.No amount of beauty can compare to filling their hearts with tolerance, tenderness and love. Resentment may even interfere with our enjoyment of food. The Bible says, "Vegetables are much sweeter when eaten with love than beef eaten with resentment." Wouldn't enemies celebrate if they knew that resentment would wear us out, make us weary and jittery, make us look bad, give us heart disease, and possibly kill us?

Even if we cannot love our enemies, we should at least learn to love ourselves so that our enemies cannot control our happiness, our health, and our appearance.As Shakespeare said: "Don't burn yourself with a fire on your enemy." When Jesus said we should forgive our enemies "70 times 7 times," he was teaching us how to do business.For example, as I write this, I have with me a letter from George Rohner of Epsuna, Sweden, who worked as a lawyer in Vienna for many years before fleeing to Sweden during the Second World War, Become penniless and desperately need a job.He can speak and write multiple languages, hoping to find a job as a secretary in some import and export companies.However, most companies wrote back and told him that they didn't need this kind of talent because of the war, but they would keep his name on file... Among these replies, one letter read: "You don't Know our business. You're stupid and stupid, and I don't need a secretary who writes letters for me. Even if I did, I wouldn't hire someone like you who can't write Swedish well and whose letters are full of typos."

When George Rona read the letter, he went mad with rage.The Swede said he didn't understand Swedish, and that his letter was full of mistakes, and George Rona wrote a letter to annoy the man.But he calmed down and said to himself: "Wait! How do I know this person is wrong? Although I have studied Swedish, it is not my mother tongue after all. Maybe I really made a lot of mistakes. If so, think To get a job, you have to keep working hard. Maybe this person is helping me by expressing his opinion in bad words, but it doesn't mean that I am not wrong. Therefore, I should write a letter to thank him. "

So, he tore up the reply letter he had just written, which was full of abusive words, and wrote a new thank you letter: "I am really grateful that you took the trouble to write to me, especially when you don't need a secretary. Circumstances. I apologize for mistaking your company's business. The reason why I wrote back to you is because I have been introduced to you as a leader in this industry. There are many grammatical errors in my letter, and I don’t know it myself, so I feel ashamed and very sad. In the future, I plan to redouble my efforts to learn Swedish and correct my mistakes. Thank you for helping me continue to improve.”

It wasn't long before George Rona got a letter back from that man and got a job.Through this incident, George Rona discovered the beauty of "a gentle answer can eliminate anger". Maybe we can't love our enemies like saints, but for the sake of our own health and happiness, we should at least forgive them and forget them. This is the smartest way. I once asked John Eisenhower, son of General Eisenhower, if his father was bitter. "No," he replied, "my father never wastes a minute thinking about people he doesn't like." As the saying goes: He who cannot be angry is a fool, and he who is not angry is a wise man.

This statement is exactly the attitude that former New York Governor William Gaynor embraced.On one occasion, he was beaten to pieces by an insider tabloid and shot almost to death by a lunatic.As he lay in the hospital struggling to survive, he said, "Every night I forgive everything and everyone." Is that too idealistic?If yes, then let us look at the theory of the great pessimistic philosopher Schopenhauer.In his view, life is a meaningless and very painful adventure, and the whole body is full of pain, but in the depths of despair, Schopenhauer cried again: "If possible, no one should be hurt. People have any kind of resentment.”

I once asked Bernard Barou, a sage who was an adviser to six presidents, Wilson, Harding, Coolidge, Hoover, Roosevelt, and Truman, if he would be saddened by an enemy attack? "No one can humiliate me and interfere with my thoughts," he replied, "I will never let them do that." Likewise, no one can humiliate or bother you or me unless we let him do so. "Sticks and stones may break my spine, but words will never hurt me." I often stand in Jasper National Park, Canada, looking up at the beautiful mountain named after Edith Kawi It was named in memory of the nurse who died like a saint on October 12, 1915, and was executed by the German firing squad.What crime has she committed?Because she housed and cared for many wounded French and British soldiers at her Belgian home and assisted them in fleeing to the Netherlands.On that October morning, when an English clergyman entered the military prison--her cell--and said her last prayers, Edith Cavell uttered those immortal words, which were later inscribed on the monument: "I know that patriotism alone is not enough, and I have no hostility or resentment towards anyone." Four years later, her body was sent to England, where a funeral was held at Westminster Abbey.I lived in London for a year and used to go across to the National Portrait Gallery to see the statue of Edith Cavell and read this immortal quote. An effective way to forgive and forget those who have wronged us is to allow ourselves to do ideal things beyond our own capabilities, so that the insults and hostility we encounter seem insignificant.We don't have the energy to care about things beyond our ideals.In 1918, for example, a dramatic event in a Mississippi pine forest nearly sparked a burning.Lawrence Jones - a black lecturer, nearly burned to death.A few years ago, I went to a school founded by Lawrence Jones and gave a lecture.The story I'm going to tell happened a long time ago. During World War I, when popular sentiment was highly emotional, a rumor circulated in central Mississippi that the Germans were instigating blacks to revolt.Lawrence Jones was accused of inciting a mutiny among his people.A large group of white people outside the church heard Lawrence Jones shouting to the audience: "Life is a struggle! Every black person should put on his own armor and fight to survive and thrive." "Battle", "armor", these are enough as evidence.Some young men rushed out in the night, gathered a large crowd, returned to the church, tied up the missionary, dragged him a mile into the moors, hung him over a great pile of dry wood, and A match was lit, ready to burn him to death.At this time, one of them said: "Before you burn him to death, let this talkative man talk." Standing on the pyre with the noose around his neck, Laurence Jones gave a speech about his life and ideals.He graduated from the University of Iowa in 1907 and won the love of all teachers and students with his pure character, erudition and musical talent.After graduation, he turned down a position offered to him by a hotel and a plan from a wealthy man who offered to fund him to continue his music studies - because he had higher ideals.When he finished reading the biography of Booker Washington, he was determined to dedicate himself to the cause of education, to educate black children who could not receive education because of poverty.So he returned to the barren south—a small place 25 miles south of Jack Township, Mississippi, pawned his watch for one and sixty-five cents, and started his open-air school in the woods using tree stumps as tables. . Lawrence Jones told those who were so angry that they wanted to burn him that he had tried to educate unschooled boys and girls, to train them to be farmers, mechanics, cooks, and housewives.He also spoke of the many white men who had helped him build the school—giving him land, lumber, pigs, cows, and money. Someone asked Laurence Jones afterwards if he still hated those who tried to hang and burn him?He replied that he was too busy, had too many ideals to realize, and had no time to hate others—he had devoted all his mind to some great cause beyond his ability. "I don't have time to argue with people," he said. "I don't have time to regret. No one can force me to humble myself enough to hate him." At the time of the incident, Jones' attitude was very sincere and touching.During the whole process, he didn't make the slightest pleading, he only hoped that others could understand his ideals.The mob began to soften.Finally, a Civil War veteran in the crowd said, "I believe he's telling the truth. I know the white people he mentions. He's doing a good thing. We got it wrong. We should help him." Rather than hang him." After finishing speaking, the veteran took off his hat and passed it around in the crowd. Among the crowd who were about to burn the educator to death, he collected 52 yuan and 40 cents and handed it over to the jones. Epictethus once said 1900 years ago that what we sow, we will reap.In any case, fate will always make us pay for our mistakes. "Everyone pays for his mistakes. He who understands this will not get angry with anyone, argue with anyone, insult another person, blame another person, offend another person, and hold a grudge against another person." Throughout American history, it can be said that no one has been more blamed, resented, and framed than Lincoln.But according to historical records, Lincoln never judged others by his likes and dislikes.If there is a task to be done, he thinks that his opponent can do it as well.He knows how to use people well. Those who have humiliated him and disrespected him, if they are suitable for a certain position, Lincoln will appoint him regardless of the past, just like entrusting his own friends... He never just because someone is himself the enemy of the enemy, or the dismissal of someone he dislikes.In fact, many of those whom Lincoln appointed to high positions criticized or humiliated him—such as McClelland, Edward Stanton, and Chase... But Lincoln believed that "no one will be blamed for what he did." He will not be dismissed because of what he did or did not do. Because people are affected by environmental conditions, education level, living habits and even genetics, making them what they are now and will always be like this in the future.” When I was a child, every night when the family gathered together, they would read a chapter and a sentence from the Bible, and then kneel down and say "family prayers" together.I can still seem to hear, on a lonely farm in Missouri, my father repeating those words of Jesus Christ--the words that have been repeated as long as human beings have ideals: "Love your enemies , do good to those who hate you; bless those who curse you, and pray for those who abuse you.” His father did it according to these words, which gave him a peace of mind that ordinary generals and kings could not get.