"A drop of honey sticks more flies than a catty of bile", through this sentence you can learn the secret of getting along with others.It is wise to moisten one's heart with a drop of honey. When you get angry at others and speak ill, you will feel temporarily relieved, but it will make the other person uncomfortable.Your explosive tone and hostile attitude will only turn him against you. President Wilson said: "If you make a fist at me, there's no doubt I'll make it tighter. But if you say to me, 'Let's sit down and have an exchange, and see why we disagree?' We will find that the differences are not great, the differences of opinion are few, and the same views are many. Therefore, as long as we communicate with each other patiently and with sincerity, we will understand each other."

John Rockefeller Jr. had a deep understanding of this truth. In 1915, Rockefeller was under fire in Colorado.By then, the general strike had been going on in Colorado for two years.Angry miners demanded an increase in wages from the Colorado Coal and Steel Company, owned by Rockefeller Jr.Factory equipment was destroyed, and the frantic repression by the army caused terrible bloodshed and many deaths. But Rockefeller managed to get the resentful strikers to agree with him.Why?The thing is this: he spent a few weeks making friends with workers, and then he gave a wonderful speech to workers' representatives, which miraculously quelled the workers' strike and made many people admire him very much.What he said was true, so the workers went back to work.

I have excerpted the opening words of that famous speech, and his sentences are full of friendliness.Facing the audience who were yelling to hang him a few days ago, his words were so polite and friendly. In his speech, he used such words: "It's a great honor to meet you today", "I have visited your home" , "Visit your wives and children", "Today we are friends, we are no longer strangers, we should exchange opinions", "Holding the attitude of mutual help and friendship", "Everyone's common interests", "I am here, thanks to everyone support" and so on.

Rockefeller started: "Today is a memorable day in my life. This is the first time I have the honor to gather together with the workers' representatives, employees and supervisors of this big company. I think I will never forget this in my life." two weeks ago, I was not familiar with everyone, I only knew a few of you. But last week I visited all the workers’ dormitories in the coal mines in the South District, and talked with every representative. Today, everyone We have met each other. I have visited your family and met your wives and children, so we are not strangers, we are all friends, we will love each other, and we can discuss our common interests with you, This makes me happy. Our factory staff and labor representatives are here, and I want to say that I am here because of your support. I feel like we are family because you represent all the employees and labor in the company, and I am a representative of shareholders and directors."

Isn't it a good example of how smart and kind words can dissolve deep hatred? If Rockefeller went to argue with the workers, terrorized them with power, or implied that they were wrong, and logically reasoned that the truth was on his side.What are the consequences?That will only make them worse. If a person has a very strong opinion on you, no matter how you use logical reasoning, he will not be convinced.Watch out, harsh parents, tough bosses and husbands, talkative wives—people are stubborn and don't agree with anyone else.But a kind and humble attitude will make them less stubborn.

More than 100 years ago, Lincoln quoted a sentence: "A drop of honey sticks more flies than a catty of bile." Similarly, if you want others to agree with you, you should first be his loyal friend.It is wise to moisten one's heart with a drop of honey. A well-known defense attorney, Daniel Webster, defended as softly, quietly and kindly as Jehovah.He expresses his most powerful arguments in terms such as "Let the jury consider this", "It may be worth pondering", "I believe that you will not ignore these few facts", "I believe that you have a deep understanding of human nature. , it is easy to see the nature of these facts".Don't intimidate, don't use high-handed tactics, and don't force your opinions on others.

You may not be one of the above, but you may want to ask your landlord to charge you less.Can this method help you?Let's look at this example. Engineer Stapley wants his landlord to take less money.But landlords are said to be difficult to deal with.He said: "I wrote him a letter and told him that I would move out immediately when the contract expired. In fact, I didn't want to move. As long as the rent is less, I will live. But everyone told me that the landlord It's too hard to talk, the other tenants have tried, and it didn't work. I said to myself, 'Since I'm learning how to behave, why don't you try it, maybe it will work.'

"After he received my letter, he brought his secretary. I welcomed him warmly, and did not mention the high rent at the beginning, but praised his house vigorously. I complimented his management methods, Said that I would love to live for another year, but unfortunately I can't afford the rent like this. "Obviously, none of the tenants were so enthusiastic about him, and he hardly knew what to say. He told me about his grievances, saying that some people who rented houses were not good. One of them wrote 14 letters to him. , it annoys him. Another told him to keep the guy upstairs, stop snoring, and asked for checkout money. 'How happy I would be if they could all be like you,' he said. That's it Before I asked, he offered to reduce the rent. I told him the amount I could afford, and he agreed without saying a word. When he left, he asked me if I would like to help me decorate.

"You see, if I try to do what the other tenants do, I'm bound to hit a wall. I can do it because of friendliness, sympathy, and admiration." Dean Woocock, division director of an electric utility in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, also uses this method.His men were going to repair some kind of equipment on a utility pole, which had been assigned to them by another department before.His men knew about it, but never practiced it.Employees in the company want to see their abilities.So, several team leaders under Woocock and people from other departments of the company went to see how they were doing.

Woocock suddenly found a person holding a camera to take pictures of the scene.Power companies usually pay attention to public image. To the person with the camera, this scene looked ridiculous. Dozens of people watched two people work.Woocock thought for a while, stepped forward, and said to the person with the camera: "Are you concerned about our lives?" "Yes, I think my mother will be more concerned. She is a stock holder of your company. After she understands your company, she should know that buying your stock is a mistake. For many years, I have been telling her that your company is too extravagant , which proves it. Besides, the newspapers may want the photographs."

"I think I'd feel the same way if I were in your shoes. But this time it's different..." Dean Woocock explained to the man that they had just changed jobs, and the company was very upset about it. Note that this is the case.He also assured that only two people are enough under normal circumstances.So the guy put the camera away, shook Woocock's hand, and thanked him for his clarification. Woocock thus saved the company's reputation. Gerald Vince, a student in our training course in Littleton, New Hampshire, said he once settled a compensation case with a gesture of kindness. He said: "In the early spring of this year, before the ice on the ground melted, there was a heavy rain. The rainwater could not flow into the gutter, but flowed to the new house I just built. "Rain seeped into the cement floor on the lower level of the house, cracked the floor, flooded the basement and damaged everything in it. It cost over $2,000 to repair and I'm not insured for it. “I quickly discovered the problem with the construction company: they forgot to build the gutters, so the water flooded the basement. As I was rushing to the construction company, I thought about how I could use what I had learned in training to solve the problem, I know I can't get mad. I went into his office and told him about his vacation to the West Indies not long ago. When I thought I was done, I brought up the water in the basement. He agreed to fix it right away. this matter. "A few days later he called and said that not only would he pay for the repairs, but he would also build the gutters to prevent them from being flooded again. "Even if it's their mistake, if I don't use a conciliatory gesture as soon as I come up, things won't be so easy." One more example.Mrs. Day, a socialite on Long Island, said: "I had a few friends for lunch a while ago and I took the gathering very seriously. I wanted to make everyone happy, but I didn't expect to be very depressed. The meal was not at all Well, my head waiter, Amy, didn't show up at all, he sent a waiter to serve us. The waiter has no idea what good service is. I was the guest of honor, but he was the last to serve us. Me. He also put very little celery on a very large plate. The meat was undercooked and the potatoes were over-oiled. What a mess. I tried to smile, but I was very angry, thinking : 'Amy, you just wait.' "But when I went to my relationship class the next night, I realized that messing with Amy wasn't going to solve anything. He'd be resistant to me and wouldn't help me. I tried to learn from him. Look at this matter from a different perspective: he didn’t buy vegetables, he didn’t cook, some of his subordinates couldn’t do it, and he couldn’t manage it. Maybe my requirements are too high. Therefore, instead of blaming him, I should use Treat him in a friendly way. I thought I should start with praise, but the magic effect really appeared. The next day, when he appeared in front of me with resistance and ready to fight, I said to him: 'Ah , Amy, I want to tell you how much I need you when I treat guests to dinner. You are the best in New York. And I also know that you have more than enough energy for what happened yesterday, after all you Not present.' "Amy smiled and said, 'You're quite right, ma'am, those people did a bad job yesterday.' "I went on to say: 'I'm going to treat someone to dinner again, Amy, do you think I'll let them do it again?' "'Ah, ma'am, no problem. I promise it won't be like last time.' "When I had dinner again the next week, Amy helped me decide what to serve. He also decided to charge half the service charge and said there would never be any problems. "When the guests arrived, they were immediately attracted by the two dazzling bouquets of roses on the table. Amy stood aside and served politely. Even my dinner for Queen Mary was not as good as this time. Delicious Excellent food, attentive service, served by 4 waiters. Finally, Amy herself brought delicious desserts. "At the end of the meal, one of my guests couldn't help but ask: 'You seem to be bewitched by your wait staff, this service is really good.' “She got to the point, and I did cast a spell, which was being friendly and genuine.” As a child, I walked barefoot through the woods to attend a rural elementary school in northwest Missouri.There I learned a story about the sun and the wind.The wind thought he was stronger than the sun, so the wind said, "Did you see that old man in the coat? I can make him take off his coat faster than you." The sun listened and hid behind the clouds, and the wind slammed It blew harder and harder, but the old man held his coat tight. Finally, the wind was so tired that it stopped blowing.At this time, the sun showed a smiling face, and it shone warmly on the old man.The old man was sweating so much that he took off his coat.The sun then told the wind that friendly warmth is more effective than cruel cruelty. Illustrated by an incident in rural Boston when I first read this story.In the United States, Boston has always been an educational and cultural center, and I didn't even think I could go there.But Dr. Bi, who is in our class, happened to be in Boston 30 years ago, and he experienced this firsthand.Dr. Bi told the class about this: At the time, the Boston papers were full of deceitful advertisements from so-called abortion experts and lousy doctors.In the name of seeing a doctor, they use words such as "you will lose your sexual function" to deceive people.They make people believe them because they are afraid, and they don't actually cure the disease.Those "abortion experts" killed many people, but they are free from the law, and they only need to pay some fines or find an official to be safe. This serious situation angered the people of Boston.Missionaries attacked newspapers in their speeches, praying for help from God.Various groups in society are protesting together.The state legislature also discussed this and demanded that the harmful advertisement be declared illegal.But it didn't work, because of the money and power relationship behind, these efforts came to naught. Dr. Bee served as Chairman of the Good People Committee of the Greater Boston Christian Union.Despite all the efforts of the committee, nothing worked.The campaign against medical cheats looks doomed to fail. One late night, Dr. Bi came up with a new way.He will try again with pity and praise.He wrote a letter to the publisher of the Boston Herald saying that he had always admired the paper, that the news was factual and not inflammatory, that the editorials were better, and that their paper was the best in New England It is one of the best in the whole of America.Dr. Bi wrote: "However, a friend of mine told me that one night his little daughter read an advertisement in your newspaper about an abortion doctor and asked him what it meant. He was embarrassed and didn't know how to explain it. .Your paper is the perfect family newspaper but it has forced some families to face this. It can happen to my friend's house and it can happen to other families if you have daughters too. What impression will she have of your newspaper when she sees this kind of advertisement? If she wants to ask what you mean, will you feel embarrassed? "I regret that your paper, which is otherwise perfect, has such advertisements that some parents are afraid to show their children. I think thousands of readers share my opinion." Two days later, Dr. Bi quickly received a reply from the publisher of the "Boston Herald".He treasured that letter for 30 years, and now when he comes to class, he gives me that letter.The letter was written on October 13, 1940. The following is the content of the letter: Dear Sir, Dr. Bee, Boston, MA: I am very grateful for carefully reading your letter to the editor of this newspaper on the 11th.Your teachings made me determined to do something that I always wanted to do but never made up my mind to do. Starting next week, I will do my best to get the Boston Herald to remove the controversial ad.Ads that are temporarily incapable of removal will also be carefully edited so that they do not offend readers. I have benefited greatly from your letter, and I would like to thank you again and look forward to continuing to criticize and correct.Sincerely W. E. Hansger understands that "a drop of honey sticks more flies than a catty of bile", then, in general life, you will also use a friendly and understanding attitude to solve problems.Gail Connor of Lutherville, Maryland, bought a new car, but it broke down three times within four months. "In the garage of a car dealership," he said to our class, "if I were to reason with the manager or blame him, it would be impossible to solve the problem effectively. But I did. The other day, I walked into the car dealership , to find their boss, Mr. Bate. When I was brought into his office, I introduced myself first, and I told him that I bought their company's car because of a friend's recommendation. My friends Everyone thinks the price is reasonable and the service is good. When he heard this, he smiled. Then I mentioned my troubles and said to him: "I think you must attach great importance to a good reputation." He told I thanked him and promised to solve my problem. After that, he not only took care of it himself, but also offered me to use his car when my car was sent in for repair.” Aesop, a slave in the palace of Chrysas, the ancient Greek king, told some fables in 600 BC, which have been handed down to this day.Those principles, in Athens 25 centuries ago, are equally applicable in Boston and Lutherville today.Don't forget the story of the sun and the wind, sympathy, kindness, and praise work better than hard.