Chapter 2 The first chapter tear down the wall of thinking, life will not have dead ends

One day a few years ago, I was on a radio show.They asked me this question: "What is the most important lesson you have learned?" This question is very simple for me, the most important lesson I have learned is "The importance of thinking" . I have always believed that as long as you know what you think in your heart, you can know what kind of person you are, because every person's character traits are formed by his thoughts.Our fate also depends entirely on our state of mind. Emerson also once said: "A man is what he imagines all day long... How could he be otherwise?" Now I can say with certainty: "What you and I must face The biggest problem is how to choose the right thought.” In a sense, this is almost the only problem we have to deal with.The same is true, if we can choose the right thoughts, we can solve all problems.

The great philosopher and ruler of ancient Rome, Marcus Arylius, summed it all up in one sentence, one that can determine your destiny: "Life is formed by thoughts." Indeed, if our thoughts are only happy things, we will be happy; if we are thinking only sad things, we will be sad; fear; if we think bad thoughts, we may not be at peace; if all we think is failure, we will fail; if we wallow in self-pity, others will. Intentionally avoid us. Norman Winson Peale said, "You are not what you think you are, and you will be what you think you are." By saying this, am I implying that we should all face all difficulties with habitual optimism?Of course not.Unfortunately, life is not as simple as this, but I encourage everyone to try to adopt a positive attitude instead of a negative attitude.In other words: "We must pay attention to the problems we face, but not worry about them."

So what's the difference between concern and worry?Let me be more explicit.For example, whenever I have to drive through a New York City neighborhood full of traffic, I pay attention to what I'm doing, but I don't worry.Concern is knowing what the problem is and then calmly taking steps to fix it; worrying is mindless and frantic circles. A man can focus on some very serious issues, but at the same time he can strut around with flowers on his skirt.Lowell Thomas was such a man. At one point, I assisted Lowell Thomas in a famous film about Allen Bay and Lawrence going to war in the First World War.Rowell Thomas and several assistants filmed the battle at the front, and the film wonderfully documented Lawrence and the colorful army he commanded, and also recorded the battle of Allen Bay.The film also features his famous speeches.

The film caused quite a stir throughout London and the world, and the London Opera Festival was postponed for six weeks in order to allow him to continue telling these adventure stories and showing his film at the Royal Opera House in Calvin Gardens. . Lowell Thomas has traveled successfully to several countries following his huge success in London.He then spent two years working on a documentary about life in India and Afghanistan.Unfortunately, however, bad luck came to him at this time - he found himself bankrupt. At that time, I happened to be with him.I still remember when we had to go to small restaurants on the street to eat very cheap food.Even such cheap food comes from the donation of the famous Scottish painter, James Macbey, otherwise, we would not even be able to afford that meager food.

Of course, the point of my story is not to complain, the point of the story is the following: When Lowell Thomas faced huge debts and fell into a deep disappointment, he was concerned about it, but he was not worried .He knew that once he was overwhelmed by bad luck, he would become worthless in the eyes of others, and others would look down on him even more, especially his creditors. Therefore, before he goes out to do errands every morning, he buys himself a fresh flower and puts it on his skirt, and then walks on the streets of Oxford with his head held high.His heart is positive and courageous, and he will never let setbacks break him down.To him, setbacks are just part of the whole thing—the healthy exercise you have to take to get to the top.

Our mental state can have an incredible effect on our bodies and strength.The famous British psychologist Hadfield once explained this situation in his 54-page booklet "The Psychology of Strength". "Three men were brought in," he wrote, "to test the psychological as well as the physiological influence. We measured it with a hand dynamometer." He asked them to grip the dynamometer as hard as they could on three different occasions.In an average waking state, their average grip strength was 101 pounds.In the second experiment, they were hypnotized and told that they were very weak.As a result, their grip strength was only 29 pounds—less than a third of their normal strength.

Hadfield then gave the men a third experiment: after hypnosis, he told them that they were very fit.As a result, their grip strength averaged 142 pounds.When they felt so sure in their hearts that they had that power, their power increased by almost 50 percent. That's incredible psychological power. To further illustrate the magic of psychological thought, I'm going to tell you one of the most bizarre stories that happened during the American Civil War.The story is big enough for a whole book, but let's make a long story short.Believers today know Mary Baker Eddy, the founder of Christian Faith Healing.However, she thought that her life was only sickness, misery and misfortune.Because her first husband died shortly after their marriage, her second husband abandoned her, eloped with a married woman, and later died in a poor asylum.She has only one son, but because of the poor family and frequent illnesses, she had to give him away when he was 4 years old.She didn't know where her son was, and she didn't see him again for the next 31 years.

Because of her own poor health, she became very interested in so-called "faith healing."But the most dramatic turning point in her life happened in Leon, Massachusetts. That day, the weather was very cold, she was walking alone in the city, suddenly slipped and fell to the ground, fell on the icy road, and passed out.Damage to her spine left her with so many convulsions that even doctors didn't think she would live much longer.Doctors also said that even if she survived miraculously, she would never walk again. Mary Baker Eddy was lying on what looked like a deathbed with a book open.Later she said that she read a passage in this book: "Someone carried a paralyzed man on a stretcher to Jesus, and Jesus said to the paralyzed man, 'Don't worry, my child, your sins are forgiven' .Get up, grab your mattress and go home.' The man got up and went home."

She said it was these words of Jesus that gave her a strength, a faith—a strength that could heal her wounds, and she "got out of bed immediately and started walking." "This experience," said Mrs. Eddy, "like the apple that inspired Newton, made me find myself getting better and gradually enabling others to do the same. I can say with confidence that , the source of everything lies in your inner thoughts, and the influence of all these is a psychological phenomenon." Maybe you're saying to yourself, "This guy is probably promoting Christian faith healing." No, you're wrong, I'm not a believer in that sect.But the longer I live, the more I believe in the power of thought.My 35 years in adult education have taught me that men and women can change their lives by changing their minds, eliminating worries, fears, and many diseases.

Andrew Carnegie, the American steel magnate, said in a speech: "To those young men who are born with nothing, I want to congratulate them. Because they were born in a glorious situation, this environment is destined to be them. Only by diligently pursuing and making unremitting efforts can one change one's situation and stand out from the crowd." Indeed, there is no heaviest basket for a young man to carry than a basket full of various securities.He usually makes the basket wobble and won't stand upright.There are countless young people in our city who rely on their own strength to work hard, stand at the forefront of the best people, and become useful citizens to society.They deserve all the honor bestowed upon them.However, most of the descendants of the rich are unable to resist the temptation of a large amount of wealth left to them by their ancestors, and have been reduced to parasites with no value to society.If I could choose, I would rather leave some hardships for a young man to bear and sharpen, rather than leave him almighty money, and let money become his burden and pressure.

In fact, the competitors you should fear are not from this wealthy class, not the descendants of your wealthy partners. The competitors you must always be on the lookout for are those young people from poor families, those who are richer than you. Poor young people whose parents cannot even afford to pay for them to take a course in this academy, and you have this, which gives you a decisive advantage in the front row over your own kind.You need to pay attention to these young people who seem unlikely to challenge you or surpass you in your position.Don't underestimate those young people who come out of ordinary schools and plunge into work, and don't underestimate those young people who do the lowest jobs in the office, such as serving tea and sweeping the floor. He may be a dark horse. You Better keep an eye on him, one day he will challenge you. Cammons Wilson was born on January 5, 1913 in the small town of Osceola, northwest of Memphis in the southern United States.His father, Charles Cammons Wilson, served in the Navy as a fireman and clerk before leaving the Navy to work for National Life and Casualty Insurance Company, selling insurance.So good was his work that in 1912 he accepted an assignment from the company to Osceola to open an office there.His mother, Dole Wilson, was born in a very poor family in Memphis. When she was a teenager, she went to work as a grocery seller.The birth of their little boy is the most precious gift from heaven for this young couple, and their future looks bright and bright.They named their son Charles Cammons Wilson Jr. However, only 9 months later, tragedy struck suddenly. The 29-year-old Kemons suffered from an incurable disease called amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. This severe disease caused the nerve cells that control muscle movement to deteriorate. The old Kemons was in great pain. On October 4, 1913, before he could see his son pass his third birthday, he died. At the age of 18, Dole became a widow and single mother. Old Kemmons had a foresight, and bought an insurance policy with an insured price of 2,000 US dollars before his death, and paid the indemnity to Dole after his death.This amount was a considerable sum in 1913.However, an unscrupulous funeral seller, in his dealings with Dole, took advantage of the young widow's grief and persuaded her to pay for her late husband's funeral, thereby draining all the money she had received under the insurance policy.Old Kemmons had a grand burial, but after the funeral, Dole had almost nothing left. It was at that time and in that place that an 18-year-old widow was almost penniless, but she made up her mind that no hardships or hardships could stop her from raising her son and training him to be successful in the world. The ones who leave their mark. So Dole returned to Memphis with her baby and moved in with his mother at 336 North Watkins Street.In the days before receiving government subsidies, Dole had no choice but to go out and work to support himself and his young son.Wilson later recalled: "My mother got a job as a dentist's assistant for $11 a week. Then she got a job as a bookkeeper. But she never made more than $125 a month. Dollars. Can you imagine what it was like? Looking back, what a tough time it was, how life felt like years!" In this difficult living environment, Cammons Wilson began to work to earn money at a young age.After a arduous entrepreneurial journey, Wilson has operated popcorn and pinball machines, and operated a movie theater. The hard life in his childhood made him one of the most determined and thriving young entrepreneurs in Memphis. Has created a huge business. Looking at the successful course of those world-renowned entrepreneurs, we will find that without exception, they all started from nothing, relied on their tenacious quality and unremitting efforts, and created a world that they are proud of. He became the proud son of heaven admired by all. Therefore, if you feel that fate is too unfair to you, please remember the following sentence: Suffering is gold, don't think that you have nothing.


Gratitude can be cultivated.So, if you expect your children to be grateful, train them to be grateful. I recently ran into an irate businessman in Texas.I was reminded that within 15 minutes of bumping into him he would bring up that incident.And indeed it is.The incident that made him angry happened 11 months ago, but he still has it in his heart.He could hardly talk about anything else.Here's the thing, he gave $10,000 to 34 guys as a Christmas reward, about $300 each, and it turned out that none of the guys thanked him for it."I shouldn't have given them a penny!" he complained. Someone once said: "An angry man is full of poison." I sympathize with this poisonous man. He is about 60 years old.According to insurance company statistics, on average, we live 2/3 of the years between our current age and the age of 80.So the person might live another 14 to 15 years if he's lucky.But he had wasted one of his limited remaining years on a past matter.I really feel for him. Instead of resentment and self-pity, he should have asked himself why he wasn't getting any gratitude.Perhaps he was harsh on workers' wages, or made them overwork.Perhaps these employees believe that Christmas rewards are not gifts, but something they deserve.Maybe he was too strict and unapproachable, so no one dared to thank him. On the other hand, maybe these employees are too selfish, mean and impolite.It might be this, it might be that, and I have no way of knowing the truth.But I know that Dr. Samuel Johnson said: "Gratitude is a product of good breeding, and you can't find it in ordinary people." So, I want to emphasize here that he is guilty of expecting gratitude from others. General mistake, he still doesn't understand human nature. If you save someone's life, do you want him to appreciate you?You probably will.But Judge Samuel Liebwich, a formerly well-known criminal lawyer, saved 78 people from being executed in the electric chair.How many of them do you think thanked him, or sent him a Christmas card?You guessed it, none. Jesus healed 10 lepers in one afternoon, but how many of them thanked him?only one.Jesus turned to his disciples and asked, "Where are the other 9 people?" They had all gone, and disappeared without saying thank you. I have a question here: Why do you and this Texas businessman expect more gratitude than Jesus for a little thing we do for others?When it comes to money, it gets even more hopeless.Charles Schwab told me that he once rescued a bank teller who embezzled money to trade in the stock market.Schwab helped him make up the money to keep him from going to jail.Did the teller thank him for that?Is grateful to him, but only for a while.He then vilified and slandered the man who had saved him from prison. If you gave your relative $1 million, do you think he would appreciate you?Andrew Carnegie did just that.However, if Andrew Carnegie were to come back to life, he would be shocked to find that this relative was scolding him!Why?Because the old Andrew donated 36.5 million US dollars to charity, but sent him with a mere 1 million US dollars. That's the way things are.Human nature is human nature, and it will not change in life.So why not embrace it?Why not get real like Marcus Aurelius?One of the wisest emperors of the Roman Empire, he wrote in his diary: "Today I will meet talkative people, selfish people, arrogant people and ungrateful people. Surprised or disturbed, because there will always be such people in the world." That makes perfect sense, doesn't it?If you and I go around complaining about the lack of gratitude in the world, who is to blame?Is it human nature or our neglect of human nature?When we stop expecting gratitude and occasionally get gratitude from others, it becomes a pleasant surprise.If we don't get it, we won't suffer from it. I know a woman in New York who often complains that she is lonely and that none of her relatives want to approach her.No wonder, if you called on her, she would talk for hours about how she looked after her nieces when they were little.She nursed them when they had measles, mumps, whooping cough.She lived with them for several years and sponsored one of their nieces through business school, and the other lived with her until she married. Is her niece coming to visit her?Of course, sometimes out of a sense of obligation.But such visits really scare them.They know that means having to sit there and listen to hours of half-disguised reproaches, endless whining and whining waiting for them forever. When the woman could no longer bully her nieces into coming to see her, she had a new way, and she had a heart attack.Is this heart attack real?Yes.The doctor said that her heart is easily tense and she often suffers from palpitations.But doctors said there was nothing they could do about her illness, which was largely caused by emotions.What this woman really needs is love and attention, but she calls it gratitude.She will never have gratitude and love because she demands it and takes it for granted. There are many women like her, sickened by the ingratitude of others, by loneliness and neglect.They long to be loved, but in this world, the only way to get love is to stop asking for love and give love without expecting anything in return. Does this sound like unrealistic idealism?of course not.This is just common sense.This is a great way for you and me to find happiness.I've seen this happen in my own home.My parents enjoyed helping others.Our family is very poor and we are often overburdened.But even though they are poor, their parents always send money to an orphanage every year.They had never been to the orphanage, and perhaps never been thanked for their kindness except by letters of thanks; but they took great pleasure in helping the orphans, and never expected anything in return. After I moved away from home to work, I would send my parents a check every Christmas, asking them to buy some luxuries for themselves.But they rarely do.When I came home a few days before Christmas, my father told me that they bought coal and daily necessities for poor widows in the city who had many children.What kind of happiness do they get from it?That is the happiness of only asking for giving and not asking for. Aristotle said: "An ideal person is happy when helping others, but is ashamed when others help him." I believe that my father has reached the ideal state of Aristotle. For thousands of years, parents have complained that their children are ungrateful.Even Shakespeare's King Lear couldn't help exclaiming: "It is more painful to be unfilial than the sharp teeth of vipers." But without our education, how can children know how to be grateful?Ingratitude is like a weed that grows naturally; gratitude, like a rose, needs nurturing, watering, love and protection. If our children are ungrateful, whose fault is it?Most likely our fault.How can we expect them to be grateful to us if we never teach them to express gratitude to others? I know a friend who lives in Chicago.He worked in a carton factory, earning as little as $40 a week as he toiled.He married a widow who persuaded him to borrow money to put her two sons through college.His weekly salary of $40 goes towards food, rent, fuel, clothing and arrears.He worked like this for 4 years and never complained. Did he get any gratitude?No, his wife and stepson took it for granted.It never occurred to them that they owed their stepfather more than just thanks. Who is to blame for this?Is it the sons?of course.But their mothers are more to blame.She believes that young children should not be burdened with a sense of responsibility, and she does not want her son to live in "debt", so it never occurred to her to say, "How great it is that your stepfather funded you through college!" On the contrary, she Say something like: "That's the least he should have done." She thinks she's doing it for the children's good, but in reality, she's giving them the wrong idea that the world has an obligation to keep them alive.Later, one of her sons "borrowed" some money from his boss and ended up in jail. We must remember that children are what we make them.For example, my aunt never complained about her child being ungrateful.But when I was a child, my aunt brought her own mother into the house to take care of her, and she did the same with her husband's mother.Now, when I close my eyes, I can still think of the peaceful appearance of the two old people in front of the stove at my aunt's house.Will they cause any trouble to my aunt?I think that's often the case.But you don't see it in your aunt's manner at all.She really loves these two old people and takes care of them meticulously, making them feel happy at home.My aunt has 6 more kids to take care of, but she never thinks she's done anything great.It came naturally to her and it was something she wanted to do. Now, my aunt has been widowed for more than 20 years, and her five grown-up children all want her to live in their house.His children loved her and never bored her.Is it out of gratitude?totally not!And it's all out of love.Children have lived in a warm and loving environment since they were young. Now it is their mother who needs to take care of them. Isn't it natural that they return the same love? We must remember that in order to have grateful children, we must first become grateful ourselves.Everything we do has an important impact on our children.In front of children, never slander the kindness of others.Don't say, "Look at my cousin's Christmas presents, she made them all herself and didn't spend a dime." We may say things like this without thinking, but our kids listen.So it's better to say, "Look at how much thought my cousin put into this Christmas gift, she really puts so much effort into it. Let's write her a thank you note right now." Then, before you know it, you Young children develop the habit of praise and gratitude.


"Time Magazine" once published such a report, a soldier was wounded, he was hit in the throat by shrapnel, and he had already received seven blood transfusions.He wrote a little note to the doctor, asking, "Can I still live?" The doctor said, "Yes." He wrote another little note, "Can I still talk?" The doctor said, " Yes.” After listening to the doctor’s answer, he wrote on the little note: “Then what else should I worry about!” Why don’t you immediately stop and ask yourself, “What else should I worry about?” You will find that you worry All the things about me are so insignificant compared to other people, it's not a big deal at all. About 90% of the things in life are right, only 10% may be wrong.If we want to be happy, we should focus our energy on the 90% right things and ignore the 10% wrong things.If you want to worry, be sad, or get a stomach ulcer, focus on the 10% that is wrong and ignore the 90% that is good. Many new churches in the UK have placards saying "Think much, be thankful" and everyone should take them to heart.Think more about the things we are grateful for, and thank God for everything today. The author Swift, can be said to be the most pessimistic writer in the history of English literature.Saddened by his bad parentage, he wears black and goes on a hunger strike every year on his birthday.Although pessimistic and desperate, he also believes that happiness and happiness can bring people positive and healthy."The best doctors in the world are the three of them - diet, quiet and fun," he said. We enjoy the free service of "Happy Doctor" all the time.As long as we focus on so much wealth that we have, wealth that exceeds the treasures of Alibaba.Are you willing to exchange a pair of eyes for 100 million dollars?How much do you think your legs should sell for?And your hands, your hearing, your family... Add all these properties together, you will find how rich you are, even if all the gold from the Rockefeller, Ford and Morgan families were given to you, you would not exchange it . How many people can really understand these?rare.As Schopenhauer said: "We seldom think about what we have, but always think about what we don't have." This is the greatest tragedy in life, and the pain it brings may be greater than all wars and diseases in history. more pain. John Berma's family was almost destroyed by his own hands. At that time, he changed from a normal person to a bad-tempered old guy.Here's what he told his own story: “After I retired, I started a business. I worked hard day and night to make things work. But soon I found out that I didn’t have access to the parts and materials I needed, which made it possible for me to give up my business. So my mind was full of worries and I went from a normal person to a grumpy old guy with an increasingly cranky temper. Things got worse and worse and almost destroyed my happy family. "Until one day, a young soldier who used to be my subordinate said, 'John, you should feel guilty, as if you are the only one in the world who is bothered. So what if you give up your career? You can start all over again when everything is back to normal. But. You have more to be thankful for, and you keep complaining. God! I wish I was you. Look at me, with one arm and half of my face burned, but I never Don’t complain about anything. If you continue like this, you will not only lose your career, but you may also lose your family, health, and friends’. The words awakened the dreamer, and I found that I was going nowhere. So I decided to change myself, To get back to the original me. Fortunately, now I have done it." Another friend of mine, Lucille Blake, was also on the verge of breaking down before she understood this.We've been friends for years and took short-story writing together at Columbia University's School of Journalism.Let's hear her story about how her life changed nine years ago when she lived in Duson City, Arizona. She kept her hands full, taking organ lessons at the University of Arizona, running a language school in the city, and teaching music appreciation classes at Desert Willow Ranch.In addition, she has to attend various banquets, dances, and ride horses under the stars.One morning, she had a sudden heart attack and she collapsed.The doctor didn't say anything to encourage her except "you must lie in bed for a year", and she didn't know if she would recover completely. To be in bed for a year, like a cripple, and possibly die—the very sight terrified her.She kept asking herself, why her?Why did she suffer this misfortune?What had she done to deserve such retribution?She cried and complained that fate was unfair to her, and her heart was full of resentment.But no matter what, she could only listen to the doctor's words and lie on the bed to accept the sentence of fate. She had an artist neighbor named Rudolph.He said to her: "Maybe you think it's too painful to lie in bed like this for a year, but it's not entirely true. You can use this time to get to know yourself. I believe your thoughts will improve a lot, maybe more than You can learn more in the previous half of your life." After listening to his words, she felt much calmer, and she let herself try to learn new values ​​and read some useful books. One day she heard a news commentator on a radio station say, "You should talk about what you know." She had heard that phrase a lot before, and now she really understood what it meant.She resolved that in the future she would only pay attention to those things that had a positive meaning in her life.Every morning, she asks herself to think of something positive.She is not in pain, her daughter is lovely, her eyes are good, her ears are good, and the radio is playing beautiful music.She has enough time to read and study, she has a good appetite and sleeps well.She also has so many close friends that her doctor has to put up a "one-at-a-time" sign for a limited time...she should be happy about all of that. Nine years have passed, and her life is now rich and vivid.She is grateful for this year, the most rewarding and happiest she has had in Arizona.To this day, she still maintains the habit of thinking about how many proud things she has every morning. This is the most precious wealth in her life.Sometimes she is really ashamed, because she is afraid that she will die without knowing the true meaning of life. Dear Lucille Blake, in case you don't know it, what you understand is exactly what Dr. Samuel Johnson discovered more than two hundred years ago: Earning a thousand pounds is more important." I would like to remind everyone that this sentence is not from the mouth of an optimist.The person who said this has experienced 20 years of pain, lack of food and clothing, and finally became a famous writer of a generation and one of the most famous speakers in history.


Bernard Shaw had great contempt for those who always complained about environmental obstacles.He wrote in the book: "I don't believe in excuses like environment. The people who achieve in the world are those who actively seek out the environment that suits them. If they can't find such an environment, they will create it themselves. Constantly complaining about circumstances only made them what they are today." In fact, if we look for it deliberately, each of us can find all kinds of "difficulties" worth complaining about.For example, when I was young, I found a reason for my troubles: I was taller than most of my classmates.But after a few years, I realized that it's ridiculous, that being tall can be a disadvantage or a strength, it all depends on how you look at it. Compared to our neighbor, if we have only one leg and he has two; if we are poorer or richer than him; if we are fat, thin, beautiful, ugly, blond, brunette, introverted or extroverted... …whenever we want to create barriers for ourselves, we need only find any difference between us and others, and we can get it. Immature people are always willing to regard the differences between themselves and others as obstacles, and long for others to give them special consideration.On the contrary, those who are mature can recognize their own characteristics that are different from others, or improve their own deficiencies in order to improve.Therefore, people who can move towards more maturity, they don't care about difficulties, maybe it is a kind of lucky beginning. I admire a man, his name is Edward Tejo, who makes a living by driving a taxi.Edward Tejo was versatile, active and helpful, and he knew how to listen to other people's conversations. One day, we talked about some people who overcame adversity and made great contributions to the world.Edward asked me, "Have you ever heard of Nathaniel Bowditch?" I said, "I know Bowditch, he was a navigator." "That's right!" Edward said, "Nathaniel Bowditch was born in 1733 and lived to be 65 years old. He began to teach himself Latin at the age of 10 and studied Newton's mathematical theory. At the age of 21, Bowditch就已经成为一位数学家。他出海研究航海知识，还教会了所有船员观察月亮，以确定航船每天的位置。他写了一本航海书，成为经典名著。他在那些没有受过多少正式教育的人当中，是不是很伟大？” “当然。”我表示了赞同。因为对于鲍迪奇博士来说，他根本不知道什么是困难。他并没有想到大学教育是成为科学家的首要条件，而是坚韧不拔地勇往直前，获取一切必需的知识。纳撒尼尔·鲍迪奇在大海上航行，与爱德华·特霍在城市的街道上穿行一样，“困难”这个词在他们的词典中是找不到的。 但是，一个人如果想逃避失败的责任，“困难”这个词当然可以派上用场。也许有人会说，他们没上过大学，常常会遇到各种困难；但即使上了大学，他们也可能因为自己未能在人生的战场上占有一席之地而找到诸多的借口。而成熟的人，只会想到如何去排除困难，从不会用困难作为自己失败的借口。 有一次，著名发明家亚历山大·格拉汉姆·贝尔博士向他的朋友、华盛顿特区美国国立博物馆馆长约瑟夫·亨利抱怨说，他工作中遇到了困难，因为他不懂电学方面的知识。但是亨利却没有同情贝尔，也没有安慰他，而是说：“的确很遗憾！小伙子，你没花时间学习电学方面的知识，真是太可惜了！” 你猜一下，亨利接下来会向贝尔说些什么？他没有说贝尔需要一份奖学金，或是需要父母的帮助；相反，他只是告诉贝尔：“那就去学吧！” 结果，亚历山大·格拉汉姆·贝尔真的去学了，他掌握了这门知识，并研究出了电话，这可以称得上人类通信史上最伟大的贡献之一。不错，贫困的确是一种障碍，但我们有理由因为贫困而逃避责任、甘愿俯首认输吗？ 美国前总统赫伯特·胡佛，只是爱荷华州一个铁匠的儿子，他的父亲死得很早。 国际商用机器公司（IBM）的总裁托马斯·J.沃特森曾是一个小小的书记员，每周只能挣到两美元，一部机器都没有。 电影界泰斗阿道夫·朱柯起初也只是一位毛皮商的助手，刚开始时经营着他的第一家小游乐场。 上面这些人，从没有强调他们受到贫穷的阻碍，他们只是想着如何克服困难，而从没有将时间浪费在自怜自艾上。 当然，这里所指的贫穷或富裕，不单单指经济上的因素，也可以说是失败和成功、堕落和成长，也就是一般人常说的“顺境与逆境”。的确，如果一粒麦子不落地死亡，怎能再结出许多麦子呢？经历了越激烈的痛苦，在精神上、人格上，也会越早成熟、越早进步。 因此，一旦当我们面临困境时，不要畏惧退缩，心中只要牢牢记住一件事：不要被逆境所吞噬。纵使你面临着前所未有的激烈痛苦，也不要因此而被淹没。要知道如果太过于沉溺于自怜自艾之中，将会因为这一次的堕落而失去一切，永不得翻身。我们应该庆幸逆境来临，因为这正是我们考验自己的最佳良机，坚强地渡过危险之后，一条坦荡的康庄大道将展现在我们面前。 著名作家罗伯特·路易斯·斯蒂文森，从小就体弱多病，但他并没有因病而厌弃生活和工作。在他的精神里面焕发出许多积极向上的东西——阳光、力量、健康和成年人的活力，在他的作品里有一种旺盛的生命力。斯蒂文森战胜了病痛的折磨，也在文学界赢得了一席之地，世界上还有很多虽然遭遇困难，却仍然值得仰慕的伟大人物。 文学家拜伦是个跛脚；政治家朱利阿斯·恺撒患有癫痫症；作曲家贝多芬的耳朵后天失聪；军事家拿破仑身材矮小；音乐家莫扎特为哮喘病所苦；政治家富兰克林·D·罗斯福患有小儿麻痹症；社会活动家兼作家海伦·凯勒在盲聋中度过一生；歌唱家珍妮·弗洛曼因飞机失事而严重受伤，但她奋力康复，终于重放异彩；女演员苏珊·鲍尔虽然因为截去一肢而影响了幸福的婚姻，却在电影界大获成功。 这些人都是不甘屈服于困难的人，他们才是心智成熟的人，虽然身处黑暗之中，但是仍然能对自己负责。他们不以求乞为生，也不绝望，更不为自己寻找借口。 罗伊·L·史密斯曾经写过一本《圆满的一生——死神门前的徘徊》的传记，这本书非常富有启发性。它写的是艾莫·何姆斯的故事： 艾莫·何姆斯出生在俄亥俄州的韩特斯维尔，曾有一个乡村医生断定说：“这孩子不可能活下来。”但是他说错了，艾莫·何姆斯忍受着生命中不断遭受折磨的痛苦，承载着他的受到严重伤害的右肺，顽强地活了下来，而且享年90岁。他干不了重活，只好转向阅读。1891年，28岁的他成为卫理公会的牧师。虽然有两次旧病复发，却都不能夺取他继续生活的勇气。巧克力制造商约翰·S·胡伊勒开始关注艾莫·何姆斯，为他提供金钱，帮助他治疗疾病。几个月以后，这个被断定必死的人康复了，离开了疗养院。 艾莫·何姆斯又来到教堂，通过传道来筹集基金，资助各所大学和医院，结果筹募到三百多万美元。当他69岁退休时，传道一千多次，写了两本书，为宗教和慈善机构筹募了50万美元，还担任了20家机构的董事，他自己还捐出了5万美元，在加州大学附近建了一座教堂。 艾莫·何姆斯从没想过什么是“困难”。他只是紧抱着生命和生命的目的，不舍昼夜地生活了90年，可以说他的名字就是“勇气”的代名词。 我在纽约办成人教育班已经三十多年了，很多人都因为自己没有上过大学而遗憾，他们把这看作人生的一大缺憾。这样想当然并不正确，因为有成千上万的成功人士，有的连中学都没毕业。就这一点，我还给我的学生们讲艾尔·史密斯的故事，他连小学都没毕业，最终却成为知名的政治家。 史密斯出生于一个贫困的家庭，他的父亲死后，不得不接受亲朋好友的接济才得以安葬。他父亲死后，他的母亲在一家制伞厂上班，一天要干10个小时，还要带一些活回家，一直干到晚上11点。 在这种环境中成长的史密斯，曾参加过由当地教堂举办的一次业余戏剧表演。演出时他觉得非常开心，因此他决定去学演讲。结果这种能力又引导他步入政坛，30岁时，他就当选为纽约州议员。 然而，史密斯对此却丝毫没有心理准备。对需要投票表决的冗长的法案，他如同看外星文字一样，不知该怎么办；当他当选为森林问题委员会委员时，他战战兢兢，因为他从未在森林里待过；当他当选州议会金融委员会委员时，他更是惶恐不安，因为他还没有在银行开过户。 他告诉我，他当时紧张得差点儿从议会辞职，但他羞于向他的母亲承认他的失败。在绝望之中，他决心每天苦读16个小时，当艾尔·史密斯开始这种自我教育的政治课程10年之后，他成了对纽约州政府一切事物最有发言权的人。他曾4次当选为纽约州州长，目前这是一个空前绝后的纪录。1918年，他成为民主党总统候选人，还有6所大学赠给这个甚至连小学都没有毕业的人名誉学位，其中包括哥伦比亚和哈佛大学。 艾尔·史密斯亲口告诉我，如果他当年没有一天工作16个小时、把负面转化为正面的话。所有这一切都不可能发生。通过这些例子，让我想起尼采所说的一句话：“不仅能够在必要的情况下忍受一切，而且还要喜欢这一切。” 在这个过分强调“年轻”的国家和时代，许多老年人渐渐感觉到了年龄的障碍，他们经常会产生一种被架空或被抛弃的感觉。例如几年前，我的学员中有一个74岁的矮个子老夫人，她就不知道如何度过剩下的日子。 这位老夫人退休前曾是一位教师，但是她没有什么积蓄，她需要继续工作，好给她的精神和经济带来帮助。她说：“除了教书之外，我还能给小朋友讲故事听，还能为故事配上精心挑选出来的幻灯片。” 我觉得这正是她应该做的事情啊，为什么她不重新开始她的事业，去讲她的故事呢？ 我向她讲了我的想法。老夫人备受鼓舞，重新兴奋地投入到事业中去。她不再认为年龄是障碍；相反，她的能力甚至超过了年轻的时候，而且由于有了丰富的经验，她的故事讲得更为动人。 她亲自找到福特基金会，这个组织曾为促进美国文化作出了许多贡献，宣传她为幼儿园小朋友制订的各种“说故事时间”的计划。她找的人都要求她“证明给我看”，于是她介绍了她的计划，说服了他们。她故事中蕴含的温情、戏剧性和诉求的力量，正是他们接受她整个计划的关键所在。 如今，这位老夫人像个年轻人，满怀热情和信心。通过讲故事，她给无数孩子送去了欢乐。对于她来说，年龄不再是借口，她不会说：“我太老了，不能赚钱了。”她重新衡量自己的才能与经验，制订了详细的计划，运用它所拥有的才能和经验，脚踏实地地营造着她的梦想。74岁，她不是变老了，而是变得更加成熟了。一般人认定的障碍，也就是她的年龄，对于她来说却是一种激励和诱因。
美国作家马克·吐温曾说过，拿破仑和海伦·凯勒是19世纪最有趣的两个人。当他说这话的时候，海伦·凯勒才15岁。如今大半个世纪过去了，这句话依然有效。 海伦·凯勒是个患有严重生理缺陷的人，她看不见，听不见，也不能说话。她双眼看不见任何东西，然而，她却比许多能看见这个世界的人读过更多的书——比常人多100倍，而她自己也创作了7部作品。她还以自身为蓝本拍了一部电影，并亲自参演。她双耳听不见任何声音，但她从音乐中所享受的乐趣却远比许多有耳朵能听的人要多。 她曾有9年时间连说话的能力都丧失了，可是，她后来却到美国各州进行巡回演说；她曾以领军的身份在演艺界待了4年之久；她还曾周游欧洲。 海伦·凯勒并不是天生就是这样的，在她出生后的头一年半里，她也和别的孩子一样健康，能听能看，还开始学说话了。但是，灾难突发而至，毁掉了美好的生活。一场大病之后，留给她的是一个完全不同的世界：又瞎又聋又哑。这个小女孩，来到这个世界上才只有19个月啊，便陷入了黑暗寂静的世界中。 这个可怜的小女孩，根本无法接受这样可怕的现实。她的性情和举止如同生活在荒山野林的动物一般，她打碎和毁坏一切她不喜欢的东西；她用两只手往嘴里塞填食物，当有人想纠正她的行为，她就会滚倒在地大哭大叫。 眼看着女儿的痛苦却无力改变，这让她的父母非常痛苦和绝望。无奈之下，只好把她送到波斯顿专门为盲人开设的珀金斯学院。在那里，一位光明天使走进了这个小女孩悲惨的世界中，她就是安妮·曼斯菲尔德·沙利文。 老师们都不愿教导一个又聋又哑又瞎的小女孩，而年仅20岁的沙利文为什么会接受这个几乎不可能的任务呢？这是因为，她有过凄惨和贫困的生活，她深深地同情海伦。 安妮·沙利文10岁时和最小的弟弟一起被遣送到马萨诸塞州的一个贫民窟。那里挤满了无家可归的人，姐弟俩只能住在一间专门用来停放尸体的屋子。不久，她的弟弟便染病身亡。而安妮在14岁时视力已经坏到无可救药的地步，只能被送到聋哑学校去学用手指认字。不过，她的眼睛并没有完全失明，直到50年后——在她去世前不久——她才真正被黑暗所笼罩。 安妮·沙利文对海伦·凯勒所做的伟大事迹，她怎样在一个月内将一个孩子从黑暗的苦楚中拯救出来，诸事等等，我很难用几个简单的句子就把它讲述清楚。海伦在自己的著作《我的一生》中已经把整个故事告诉了我们，并且让我们深受感动。每一个读过那本书的人都能够体会那种感受：当这个又聋又哑且双目失明的小女孩，第一次意识到人类的语言是怎么回事时，是何等的快乐！ 对此，海伦写道：“要想找到一个比我更幸福的小孩，肯定不是一件容易的事情！我躺在小床上回想着对我来说深具意义的一天，我陶醉在她带给我的喜悦中，我第一次这样急切地期待着明天的到来。” 在海伦20岁时，她的学识已经非常之高，顺利地考入了拉德克利夫大学，老师安妮·沙利文女士也跟随着她。当时，不但她的书写能力不比任何学生差，而且说话能力也慢慢恢复了。 她学会的第一句话是：“我现在不哑了！”她反复地说着这句话，感到无比地惊奇和快乐！“我现在不哑了！”她讲话时略带一点像是外国人的重音。她写的书以及为杂志写的文章，都是用凸版打字机打出来的。如果她想在空白处进行修改的话，便用压发针在纸上刺出一个小洞。 海伦目前居住在纽约的福里斯特希尔，离我住的地方只有几十步远，当我带着小狗出去散步时，常常看见她在花园中缓慢地踱步，陪伴她的是一只牧羊犬。我注意到她走路的时候，总是不时地自言自语。不过，她并不像我们这样活动嘴唇——她活动着自己的手指，用记号的语言和自己说话。 她的秘书曾对我说，海伦的方向感很差，即使在家里，她都会经常迷失方向；如果家具的位置发生了变动，她就会完全不知所措。有的人会认为，失明的人具有敏锐的第六感官，其实不然，他们的触觉、味觉和嗅觉与常人并没有太大的差异。 不过，海伦的触觉还是非常敏锐的：她把手指轻轻地放在朋友的嘴唇上，就可以明白他在说什么；把手放在钢琴或小提琴的木板上，她就可以感受音乐；她甚至把手放在收音机上，通过感受它的震动来收听广播中的各种节目。她欣赏音乐时，得把手指轻轻地放在歌唱者的喉部。她非常喜欢听歌，但自己却根本无法唱歌，甚至一个音调也无法发出。 如果海伦和你握过手，那么在5年之后她还能通过握你的手而想起你来——而且，你当时的情绪是怒是喜，是失望还是兴奋，她都能感觉得出来。 海伦的生活并不单调乏味，她有着广泛的爱好。她喜爱划船和游泳，尤其喜欢在丛林中骑马奔驰。她也很擅长棋类游戏，有一种专门为她设计的棋具。她甚至还喜欢玩纸牌游戏，在桌子上铺满那些字和图都凸起来的纸牌。每逢阴天下雨之时，她便在家里织毛衣来消磨时间。 大多数人都会以为失明是世上最大的痛苦。但是，海伦·凯勒却说，她对于自己的缺陷并不是特别在意。在黑暗而静寂的世界里，唯一让她感到遗憾的是，无法听到人们友好的呼唤。