Chapter 27 Smart people don't dwell on the past
What happened in the past, even if it happened ten seconds ago, we can't change it, let alone go back and correct it.The only thing we can do is that we can think of ways to change the impact of what happened before, but we cannot change the fact of what happened at that time.If a mistake is made, the only way to make it worthwhile is to analyze it calmly, learn from it—and then forget about it.
Although many people know that the past cannot be changed, most people still worry about the past, which is the weakness of human nature.
In other words, many people know this truth, but they lack the courage and reason to keep it forever.Let me answer this question with my own experience!
I once let myself lose $300,000 in an instant.What happened was like this: I founded an adult education company and had branches in many cities. In order to expand the business, I invested a lot in advertising.Because I was busy with lecturing, I didn't have time to take care of financial affairs, but I didn't expect to ask a manager to help me manage finances.
The company opened for a year, and the business was booming, but after a year, I found that although my income was extremely high, the account in the bank did not have any surplus.That's when I realized there were two actions I should take immediately.The first is to be like my friend Carver. After his life savings of 40,000 yuan could not be withdrawn from the bank, someone asked him if he knew he was bankrupt, and he replied: "I heard!" class.The loss left no trace on his mind at all, and he never mentioned it afterwards.Should I be as calm as he is?
The second thing I should do is find out why I am not profitable, analyze my mistakes, and learn useful lessons.
However, the consciousness is the consciousness. In fact, I didn’t do anything, but I started to worry. I was panicked for a long time, and I began to regret that I didn’t run the company well.I couldn't control myself, and then I realized that teaching myself is much more difficult than teaching others.
I had expected to study at Washington High School in New York and be taught by Dr. Bran Bay, because Sanders, whom I admired, was his student.Saunders learned the most valuable lesson in hygiene from Dr. Bran Bay.Sanders was still a teenager at the time, but already had troubles, because he often regretted doing wrong things.Often after the exam, he just lost sleep and gnawed his fingers because of a wrong question, worrying that he would fail the exam.
Until one day, the teacher changed Sanders' anxiety.One morning, Sanders went to the experimental classroom for class. There was a bottle of milk on the teacher's desk. When all the students sat down, they looked at the milk and wondered what it had to do with the hygiene class.Suddenly, the teacher stood up, accidentally knocked the bottle on the ground and broke it, and the milk spilled all over the floor. Sanders and his classmates screamed. When they were annoyed that the teacher had spilled the milk, they only Seeing the teacher sweep the bottle into the sink and say loudly, "Don't cry over the spilled milk!"
The teacher had the students gather around the sink and look at the debris.And say, "I want you to learn this lesson for the rest of your life. Watch it! The milk goes away—you see it go down the pipe, and nothing can take it back. The bottle is broken, and nobody can put it back together. If We might be able to save the milk by taking precautions. But now it’s too late—we just forget about it and move on to the next thing.” Saunders said that the class left a deep impression on him, and even brought him The actual impact on him was greater than any course in the four years of high school. From that incident, Sanders learned that he should try his best to take precautions in advance, but once an unfortunate event happens, he should completely forget about it.
Some people may disagree with such a statement, but who doesn't know this truth?I have heard it thousands of times, but many people don't realize that this simple truth is the wisdom accumulated by human beings from generation to generation, and it is the life experience passed down from father to son, and from son to grandson.
If we actually live by it—rather than sniff it—we don't need to work hard at worrying at all.Besides, we could all lead pretty perfect lives if we lived by the maxim.However, knowledge without application is powerless, and the purpose of this lesson is not to teach new knowledge, but to remind you of what you already know and motivate you to put it into practice.
Shade was the editor-in-chief of the "Philadelphia Gazette". I admire him very much. He can illustrate the truth with pictures.Once, during a university lecture, he asked students, "How many people have sawed trees? Please raise your hands." Most of them have had this experience.
He asked again: "How many people saw sawdust?" No one raised their hands.
What Scheder means is that you can't sawdust because it's already been sawn, like in the old days.Worrying about what happened in the past is no more helpful than trying to saw sawdust.
Connie Mack was a great baseball player. When he was 81 years old, I asked him, "Are you ever sad about a game you lost?"
He replied to me: "Oh, yes, as long as I lose for a while, I will be addicted to it, but then I found out that there is no point in doing that, the game has been lost, like the water flowing back to the creek. It is no longer possible to push the stone mill."
The past doesn't help you, it just adds wrinkles and stomach ulcers.I spent one Thanksgiving with Mr. Cappes, an old boxer, and over dinner he described how he lost his heavyweight title.Of course, this was a big blow to his self-esteem. He said: "During the game, I suddenly felt old... By the tenth round, although I was still holding on, it was just that. My face was swollen and broken, Can barely keep my eyes open...I see my opponent wins the fight...I'm no longer the world champion. As I push through the crowd to get back to the waiting room, I see someone coming to shake my hand, someone with tears in their eyes .
"But it can't be helped, I'm old. It's hard not to be sad, but I tell myself, 'I'm not going to spend the rest of my life worrying about this, it's a blow, but I'm not going to get knocked down.' "
Does Cappes tell himself over and over again: "Don't worry about the past?" No, if you do that, you will only force yourself to face the troubles of the past again and again.He simply accepts the past and focuses entirely on his plans for the future.He opened a restaurant on Broadway and a hotel on Fifty-seventh Street.He promoted prize contests and put on boxing exhibitions, and he was too busy with such good things to worry about the past.Jack Capez said: "I've had a better ten years than when I was champion."
Cappes said he had not read much, so he would not have known that he had inadvertently applied Shakespeare's advice: "A wise man grieves not needlessly for what has been lost, but actively seeks ways to lessen it. "
When I read history and biographies, I am often amazed at how many people have the ability to overcome their worries and tragedies and live happily. They have also inspired me a lot.
I once visited Sing Sing Prison, and one of the things that struck me most was that the prisoners seemed almost as happy as we were.I mentioned this to Lewis, the warden at the time. He said that when the prisoners first came, they were very resentful and depressed. Be as comfortable as possible.The warden specifically mentioned that one prisoner—a former gardener—hummed while planting vegetables and watering flowers in the prison garden.
A prisoner in Xinxin Prison can sing while planting flowers, which is really meaningful, because he knows that with a wave of the creator's pen, no matter how pious and intelligent you are, you can't change a word or half of it; Don't drop a single word.
So, why waste tears?Of course, we all regret our mistakes and absurdities, so what?Who hasn't made a mistake?Even Napoleon's 1/3 battles were defeated.Maybe our success rate will not be worse than that of Napoleon?Who knows?In short, no one can change the past.