Chapter 26 honestly accept the fait accompli

In the long course of life, everyone encounters unpleasant situations that cannot be otherwise.But we have a choice: we can accept it as an inevitable situation and live with it, or we can let the worry that comes with it ruin our lives. In many cases, you can only accept the fait accompli honestly. When I was a kid, some friends and I were climbing up on old wooden roofs to play, and when I climbed down, I rested on the window ledge for a while before jumping off.I had a ring on my left index finger and when I jumped down it caught on a nail and broke my finger. I was so frightened and screamed that I thought I might die.But once the wound on the finger healed, I didn't bother with it at all.What's the use of worrying about a fait accompli?Since then, I have learned to accept the unchangeable fact.Now, I only have the thumb and three other fingers on my left hand, but I have forgotten that my hand is crippled.

One year, I met a gentleman in an elevator in an office building in the middle of New York City. I saw something was wrong with his left arm, and when I asked, I learned that his arm had been amputated at the wrist bone.I asked him if it bothered him, and the gentleman replied, "Where would it? I hardly think of it anymore. Only when I'm threading a needle." Many people don't care about instant facts for too long. Many people can accept almost any situation when they have to, adjust themselves, and forget appropriately, and the speed is amazing. There is a 15th-century church relic in Amsterdam, the Netherlands. Anyone who has been there will be impressed by an inscription there: "It must be so, there is no choice."

Everyone is bound to encounter many unpleasant experiences in their lifetime, which cannot be avoided and cannot be chosen.We can only accept the inevitable fact and adjust ourselves. Doing more resistance may not only ruin our life, but also may cause a mental breakdown.William James once said: "Accept love willingly! Accepting the truth is the first step in overcoming any misfortune." Elizabeth Conley learned the law of life to honestly accept the fait accompli after experiencing countless difficulties and tortures.The U.S. military won victory in North Africa, and when people happily celebrated the victory of the U.S. military on this day, Conley fell into great grief because she received a notification from the Ministry of Defense that her nephew was missing on the battlefield.Nephew is her favorite person.After a while, she was notified again that her nephew had died on the battlefield...

The death of her nephew made Kang Li extremely painful and disrupted her originally peaceful life.Before this incident, Kang Li was an optimistic person who loved life and work. She spent a lot of effort on her nephew and brought him up.In her eyes, her nephew has all the outstanding qualities of young people, and she feels that everything she has sacrificed in the past will be reaped now... her nephew is her hope, but now everything is broken, and she has no reason to live anymore. Ever since her nephew passed away, Kang Li began to hate the world. She couldn't understand why the world was so unfair, and why such an outstanding young man was deprived of his life when he first started his own life.

The shock of losing her nephew took away her interest in her work, and in grief, Conley decided to quit her job and move away from it all. When Conley was about to resign, she saw a letter in a drawer, a letter she had forgotten, written to her by her nephew after her mother died a few years ago.The letter said: "Of course, we will all miss her, especially you, I am sure you will not be overly sad and will get through it. I always remember the truths of life you taught me. Remember you taught me to be strong , be a man and accept what happened. I did it, can you?" In an instant, this letter shocked Kang Li greatly, like sunshine on a cloudy day, which made her feel that her nephew was beside her, saying to her, "Why don't you follow what you taught me?" How to do it? Be brave and persevere, no matter what happens, face it with a smile and move on.”

Kang Li, who has been troubled by grief for a long time, seems to have become more sober. She warned herself: the matter has reached this point, and there is no way to recover it. She can only live bravely as her nephew hoped. Kang Li began to accept the reality, regained her spirits, and put all her energy into her work.She wrote letters of encouragement to those soldiers on the front lines, to the sons of others who were still alive.In the evenings, she took adult education classes, developed new interests, and made new friends.Gradually she forgot the tragedy that had caused her so much pain.Now, every day of Kang Li's life is filled with joy and laughter.

If we struggle and suffer, we can't change the fact that the only thing we can change is ourselves.I know because I tried. Not long ago, I interviewed several American business leaders. What impressed me the most was their attitude towards reality and their worry-free lifestyle.If they couldn't do that, they would have been crushed under the pressure, and here are a few practical examples. Penny, the founder of a nationwide chain of department stores, told me: "Even if I lose a penny, I won't worry, because I don't see what trouble can bring me. I have done my best and left the rest to God."

Henry Ford said something similar: "When I can't handle it, I just leave it there." I asked Keller, president of the Chrysler Motor Company, how he eliminated worries. His answer was: "When I face a difficult situation, I try my best to do it; if I can't, I put it behind me. I never Don't worry about the future, because I firmly believe that no one can predict the future. The factors affecting the future are too complicated. He would probably be embarrassed.He is a shrewd businessman, but he has the same philosophy as the Greek philosopher Epictetus two thousand years ago: "There is only one way to be happy, and that is not to worry about things that cannot be mastered." We should learn to be poets Whitman said: "Let us learn to let nature take its course like trees and animals, facing night, storm, hunger, absurdity, frustration and frustration." Accepting the inevitable is like willows bearing wind and rain. In this way, we can be free from worries.