Chapter 17 Learn to seduce the other person to say "yes"

Human thinking has inertia. When you think about a problem in one direction, you tend to keep thinking about it.So, when you want someone to agree with you, start with what the other person agrees with. Sometimes, although we have considered a lot of skills in the process of persuading others, the operation is still not satisfactory, and we may even fall into a deadlocked hostile state with the talker, which makes the atmosphere extremely tense.The reason is that both parties are dissatisfied with each other.But neither side would budge and would not pander to the other's point of view.From the beginning, it has entered a state of hostility, and there is no room for communication.

According to Dr. Harry Owicky, the "no" response is the most difficult point of view to overcome.He pointed out that once a person starts saying "no," a strong psychological defense is formed.The natural self-esteem of people will force you to keep going.Even when he realizes his mistake, it is difficult to give up his self-esteem and continue to be stubborn.It's like a billiard ball, it's easier to score if you hit it in the direction it goes; it takes more effort to bounce it back.This is the most common state of mind, when he says "no," his whole being is against you, creating a tension that resists absorbing the other person's point of view.Therefore, when starting a conversation, the most important thing is to say something that the other party agrees with first.Those who know persuasion skills will let the other party say "yes" at the beginning, so that the other party will not be so resistant to themselves.

Of course, this is more difficult, but it is much easier when you think about the disputes in the future.First of all, you should think about what you want to say before you talk.The content contained in these words should be affirmed by the other party, and also affirmed by yourself.For example, this conversation is to agree on your contract.You should first say to the other party: "The purpose of this cooperation is that we all want the cooperation project to succeed, don't we?" The other party will definitely say: "Yes." Then say: "The purpose of this discussion is that both parties It’s about reaching a consensus, isn’t it?” The other party will definitely say, “Yes.” With this foreshadowing, the two sides eased their hostility.In this way, the other party will feel that there are many similarities between you and them, and the interests are closely related, and the possibility of communication becomes a reality.

James Albertson, a clerk at the Greenwich Savings Bank in New York City, once used this "yes" technique to retain a client. A man opened an account with the bank where Albertson worked, and Albertson asked him to fill out a routine form, but he refused to fill out certain aspects of the form. If Albertson did not understand this technique, he would have been told as before that if he refused to fill out any item in the form, according to the bank's regulations, he would not be able to open an account for him. On this day, Albertson decided to change his strategy. Instead of talking about the bank's regulations, he decided to use the method of asking him to say "yes" to fill in the required information.So Albertson asked him: Assuming that when you die, is the bank obliged to transfer the money to your inheritance relatives and friends?He answered in the affirmative.Albertson continued: Wouldn't it be handy if they knew the names of your closest relatives?If you died, they'd be able to find him quickly, promptly and accurately, right?The other party answered in the affirmative again.

At this time, the attitude of the young man had softened, because he knew that the information in the form was not reserved for the bank, but for his personal benefit.In the end, not only did he complete the form, but at Albertson's suggestion, he opened another account and named his mother as the legal beneficiary.Of course, he answered all the information about his mother very cooperatively. No matter facing anyone, if the other party says "no" as soon as they open their mouths, you must be smart and patient enough to change this attitude. Josophine Alison is a salesman at Westinghouse.He has also experienced a similar thing: there is a boss in the district they are in charge of, and the company really wants to do business with this boss.Josophin's predecessors worked hard on this for 10 years, but they didn't make a business.After he took over, he worked hard for another 3 years, but he still didn't get an order.Finally, unable to withstand their repeated discussions and phone calls, this person finally bought several engines.

Now that it has started, it will not be difficult to continue in the future. At that time, they were full of confidence. Three weeks later, Josophin visited again with high spirits, but he was soon disappointed.Because the other party thought that their engine motors had poor heat dissipation and were hot to the touch. Faced with this situation, Josophin knew that it was useless to argue, so he decided to use the "yes" technique. He said to the man, "Mr. Smith, I totally agree with you. If the engine is too hot, don't buy more. The engine can't be hotter than the standard set by the National Electrical Manufacturers Association, can it?" Sofin gets the first "yes" response.Then, Josephine said: "According to the regulations, the temperature of any qualified engine can be 72 degrees Fahrenheit higher than the room temperature, isn't it?" The other party also gave an affirmative answer.Josophin then asked, "What's the temperature in the factory building?"

The other party told him that it was about 75 degrees, so Josephine started his calculation according to this number, and he said: "75 degrees, plus 72 degrees, equals 147 degrees. If you put your hand on an object at 147 degrees, it will Won't it be very hot?" He had no choice but to answer in the affirmative again. Josefin and Mr. Smith talked for a while, and finally signed an order for 35,000 US dollars. In ancient Greece, Socrates was an "old urchin" whose behavior made people laugh.Because he is often barefoot.But he was one of the greatest philosophers of mankind, and he changed people's minds.Time slipped by 2,400 years, but people still respect him as the wisest debater.There is a well-known "Socrates' Law", which is to induce the other party to say "yes".He asks the opponent agreeable questions, leads the opponent to say "yes", and he keeps asking until the opponent unconsciously finds that his conclusion is exactly the opposite of his original intention.

So remember this Socratic principle in your self-righteous negatives, and you'll ask smart questions so you can keep your yes answers.