Chapter 10 Criticism is the easiest way to hurt others

If we are indifferent to any attack, the matter will end here. In the end, it turns out that you are right, so all the blame is meaningless; It doesn't make any sense to testify that you are right. When Major General Schmottery Butler of the United States Marine Corps was young, he wanted to be famous and impress everyone.At that time, even the slightest criticism made him sad.But he admits his 30 years in the Marine Corps have toughened him a lot.He said he had been criticized for being like a dog, a snake, or a skunk, and had been cursed by experts on cursing, the most obscene word in all the English vocabulary.Now if he hears someone scolding him, he doesn't even bother to look back.General Butler was too indifferent to criticism, but most people took it seriously.

A few years ago, a reporter from the New York Sun visited my adult training class and wrote a story that was very offensive to me both professionally and personally.I was really outraged at the time, and thought it was an insult to me personally, so I called the chairman of the executive committee of "The Sun" and asked the chairman to come and publish a factual article for myself, and asked them One's own mistakes are punished. Later, I felt very ashamed of my behavior at that time.Now I understand that most of the readers may not have read that article at all, and the other half of the readers who read it will also read it with a casual attitude.

No one really cares about other people's business, because people only think about themselves.People are probably more concerned with their own headaches than with the news of someone else's death. Even if someone cheated on you, betrayed you, stabbed you in the back, or even your closest friends betrayed you, don't sink into the abyss of self-pity.Instead, it's a good time to remind yourself that that's exactly what happened to Jesus when one of his 12 closest disciples betrayed him for about $19.Another disciple declared in public three times that he did not know Jesus, and even took an oath. 2 out of 12 betrayed him, a ratio of 1/6.Since even Jesus is nothing more than that, why should people want to get better?

For a long time, people have discovered that since unfair criticism cannot be avoided, at least they can do something more important: decide whether they want to accept criticism. President Roosevelt's wife was very shy when she was a girl, and she was always afraid of people's gossip.She was afraid of criticism from others, so she went to ask President Roosevelt's sister for advice.President Roosevelt's wife said that she wanted to do something, but she was afraid of being criticized by others.My sister looked at her and said: As long as you believe what you are doing is right, don't care what others say.This sentence of my sister became the pillar of her years in the White House.

Matthew Bruce, president of American International Corporation, said that when he was young, he was indeed very sensitive to criticism from others. At that time, he longed for everyone in the company to think that he was perfect.If they didn't think so, he would be very upset.To please the first who disagrees, often offends the other.So he appeased them one by one, and it turned out that a group of people had opinions.In the end, he finally found that in order to avoid others' criticism of himself, he tried to appease more people, but at the same time offended more people.After going through these things, he told himself: If you are a leader, you are doomed to be criticized, find a way to get used to it.This will be very good for yourself.You just do the best you can, then hold up an umbrella and let the rain of criticism slide down instead of pouring down your neck and making yourself sad.The American writer Demos Taylor did it more thoroughly.He commented on a Sunday afternoon radio music show, and one woman wrote in calling him a "liar, traitor, viper, idiot".Taylor mentioned it in his book, People and Music: Suspecting that she might be speaking offhand, he read the letter to the entire audience on the next week's radio show.Within a few days, he received another letter from the same woman, insisting on his own ideas, still calling Taylor a liar, traitor, viper and idiot.And this time, Taylor talked about it again on the show, and never received a similar letter again.

If President Lincoln hadn't learned to ignore the overwhelming barrage of attacks, he would have collapsed long ago.His method of dealing with malicious criticism has become a classic.General MacArthur put this passage on his desk, and Churchill also put it in his study to warn himself.Lincoln said it this way: If he doesn't respond to any attack, the matter can only go so far.