Chapter 9 Cater to each other's interests and do things well

If you want someone to like you and be interested in you, tell him what he knows best. We often say: "If you want to catch a fish, you must first ask the fish what it wants to eat." In the same way, the first prerequisite for communication is to understand the interests of the other party, pay attention to what others like and what they hate the most , Cater to his interests in communication, satisfy his psychological needs, and get what he needs from it. Tom Shadon of Michigan was a regional salesman for the Phillips Oil Company.Tom wants to become the number one regional salesman in his area, but a gas station is thwarting his efforts.The gas station manager here is an old man who doesn't like cleaning the gas station at all.Tom tried his best but couldn't get the manager to keep the gas station clean, so gasoline sales dropped dramatically.

No matter how much Tom asked to improve the gas station and clean it up, the manager ignored it.Seeing that so much persuasion and honest talk were ineffective, Tom finally decided to take him to visit the gas station which was the cleanest in the area.As soon as the manager walked into the gas station, his eyes lit up. The fuel dispenser had been in operation for several years, but it was still polished, and there was an endless stream of cars coming in to refuel. After the manager saw it, he left without saying a word. Tom went to the gas station again the next day, and he could no longer see the dirty gas pump. The floor of the gas room was cleaned and the glass was polished brightly.The manager, in his neat clothes, is busy.

Tom smiled secretly.He later achieved his wish and won the title of "the best salesman in this area".This example confirms Professor Overstraight's wise advice: "First, arouse the other person's eagerness. The person who can do this can control the world. The person who cannot be alone will live alone." In life, you should also ask a few more questions. When you ask questions, you will be surprised to find that sometimes others don’t like what you give them. When you understand the other person’s point of view, you will walk out of the first stage of success. step.

In early 1920, I had just finished my book, The Nature of Influence. I'm going to rent a big ballroom in a hotel in Chicago to hold a big lecture, and each ticket is 10 yuan.When everything was ready and the tickets had been printed, I was notified by the hotel to double the rent. Obviously, no matter who encounters such a situation, he will feel embarrassed. Should he blame the hotel manager?Obviously not a good result, because the hotel manager will always put up a reason that makes people speechless.Besides, what they care about is only their own business. I am afraid that whether I can make it into a lecture is not in the consideration of the hotel manager.

Later, I found the manager of the hotel, and I said to him calmly: "I was surprised to get this news, but I don't blame you at all, if I were in your position, I would do the same. As a manager, it is his responsibility to increase the profit of the hotel. Now we take out a piece of paper and write down the advantages and disadvantages of your increase in rent and we will analyze it." I wrote "Pros" on a piece of paper On the one hand, including after the ballroom is vacant, if it is rented out to other associations for conferences or gatherings, of course the income will increase, and the income will be more than that of renting it out to me for lectures.Then I wrote the "cons" on another piece of paper, the content is that you will not have income in these ten days, because I don't have that much money to pay you, even if there are one or two renting, Nor will it be rented for ten days at a time.In addition, most of the people who come to listen to my lectures are university teachers, students, and many business managers. If I can't hold the lecture, won't you miss a good opportunity to promote it?Sometimes wealth is hidden, and I'm sorry, you and I are about to lose a great opportunity, what do you think?After I wrote the paper and handed it to the supervisor, I still said calmly: "Sir, can you think about it carefully? I will wait for your reply."

Within a few days I received a letter saying to reduce the rent from 200% to 105%. After this incident, I discovered a truth, at any time, what people care most about is themselves.When you get along with people, if you can cater to their interests and make plans for them, then it will be easy for you to communicate with them.When you think about others, others will naturally take care of your needs. I have a classmate named John. One day when he came home from get off work, he found his young son Tommy was crying and fussing. It turned out that the child’s mother asked him to go to kindergarten tomorrow, and Tommy was very playful and didn’t want to go.

After working for a day, John was in a bad mood and got angry with the child. He drove his son back to his room and asked him to go to kindergarten the next day. The child was so frightened that he stopped crying and returned honestly Went to his bedroom. After a while, John felt that he was being too judgmental and rude to the child. He didn't understand why the child didn't want to go to kindergarten. He thought of a question: If I were Tommy, why wouldn't I want to go to kindergarten?When he thought of this, he had an idea, called his wife and his eldest daughter, and played the piano and sang with them.After a while, John saw his son poking his head out quietly.Then Tommy came into the living room and asked timidly, "Can I join?"

John then said very seriously that if Tommy doesn't go to kindergarten, he won't be able to learn to sing, and if he can't learn to sing, he won't be able to participate in their activities. In this way, Tommy happily agreed to go to the kindergarten. The next morning, Smith thought he was the first one in the family to wake up, but Tommy was already fully dressed and sitting in the living room.John asked him why he got up so early, and Tommy told him, "Tommy doesn't like to be late. To cater to the interests of others, it is important to think about what the other person needs and cares most about.If you can learn this from this lesson, it can easily turn into a milestone for your success.