Chapter 7 You might as well tell your mistakes first

By fighting, you will never be satisfied, but by giving in, you will get more than you expected. When Franklin D. Roosevelt entered the White House, he admitted to the public that if he was right 75 percent of the time, that would be the highest standard he could have hoped for.Such is the highest hope of Roosevelt, an outstanding figure of this century, which shows how many mistakes we make in ordinary times. If you first admit that you may be wrong, others may be as tolerant as you and think that he is wrong.This is like punching out with a fist. If you want to hit another person with your outstretched fist, you must first retract it before it is possible.

Let's imagine, if you believe that someone is wrong, and you tell him directly out of kindness, what will happen?If the other party is a good-tempered person, maybe he won't get angry, but he won't have a good impression of you in his heart.And if you meet someone who is irritable, you will definitely point your nose and jump into a rage immediately.What can you get? Halder Lenk, a Dodge dealer, said that selling cars was a stressful business, so he was often ruthless in dealing with customer complaints, which caused conflict, reduced business, and all sorts of unhappiness.In the face of customer dissatisfaction, he would say: "We are sure we have made a lot of mistakes, and I am sorry. Regarding your car, we may have made mistakes, please tell me."

This is a good way to calm the customer down, and once they've calmed down, they're usually more reasonable and the matter is settled easily.Many customers have also thanked him for his understanding.Two of them also introduced their friends to Halder to buy a new car.In this highly competitive market, I believe that showing respect for all opinions of customers and handling them in a flexible and polite manner will help us win. Admit that you may be wrong so you never get into trouble unnecessarily.By doing this, not only can you avoid all disputes, but the other party will treat you with courtesy, be magnanimous, and admit that he may be wrong when he sees that you are so polite.If both parties resolve issues in an atmosphere of harmony and mutual accommodation, then an agreement is likely to be achieved.Of course, this is not wrong in fact, admitting that you are wrong makes you a little embarrassed, and you are always a little bit reluctant, but doing so can make things go more smoothly and the hope of success is greater.

Of course, if you are right in principle, you should respect other people's opinions first; but if you are really wrong, you'd better admit it quickly and sincerely, which is much more effective than arguing , and much more interesting. I live in the center of New York City, and within a minute's walk of my house, there is a forest called "Forest Park".I often take my Boston pug, Ricks, for walks in the park. Since I rarely see people in the park, I don't put Ricks on a leash or a muzzle. One day, Ricks and I were in the park and saw a policeman on horseback, a policeman eager to assert his authority.He asked me loudly, "You let that dog without a muzzle run around in the park, don't you know it's against the law?"

I replied softly, "Yes, I know it's against the law. But I don't think it would hurt anyone here." The policeman stiffened his neck and said, "You can't! You can't! The law doesn't care what you think. Your dog may hurt the squirrels here, or bite the children who come here. I'll let you off this time, and next time I see your dog off the leash and muzzle, you'll have to speak to the judge." I nodded and promised to abide by what he said. I really obeyed the policeman's words.But only complied a few times.The reason is that Ricks doesn't like having a muzzle on his mouth and I don't want to put it on, so we decided to try our luck.It was fine at first, but one time, I finally hit a snag.That time, I took Rex up a hill, looked ahead, and saw the policeman on horseback at a glance.Of course Ricks wouldn't know what was going on, it was in front of me, bouncing, and heading straight for the police.

I knew something was wrong, so I didn't wait for the policeman to speak, so I said it myself.I said: "Officer, I am willing to accept your punishment, because you said last time that in this park, it is against the law for dogs not to wear muzzles." The policeman said softly, "Oh... I know it would be fun to take a dog for a walk in the park when no one is around!" I smiled wryly and said, "Yes, it's quite interesting. But, I've broken the law." The policeman defended me instead, saying: "A dog like this can't do harm to people." But I said very seriously: "But, it may hurt the squirrel!"

The policeman said to me: "That's because you took the matter too seriously...I'll tell you what to do, just let that puppy run across the mountain without me seeing it, and that's fine. " This policeman is actually very humane.All he needed was a sense of self-respect.The only way he could foster a sense of self-respect when I admitted my own mistakes was by adopting a magnanimous attitude that showed his kindness.At that time, if I argued and defended with that policeman, the effect would be completely opposite to what it is now. I do not argue with him, I admit that he is absolutely right and I am absolutely wrong.I quickly and frankly admitted my mistake, and he pleaded the matter for me because I said what he said.We each got our way, and the affair was successfully concluded.

If we already know that we must be punished, why don't we blame ourselves first and find out our own shortcomings. Isn't that much better than criticism from others?Before someone blames you, quickly find an opportunity to admit your mistake. If the other person wants to say, you have already said it for him, and he has nothing to say. Then you have a 99% chance of saying it. Get his understanding.As the policeman on horseback did to me and Ricks. Any stupid person will try his best to justify his mistakes, but only sincerely admitting his mistakes can give people a sense of dignity and nobility.