Chapter 46 I pray I don't end up in an orphanage

As a child, my life was filled with fear.My mother had a heart attack and often passed out on the floor.We were all terrified that she would die suddenly one day.In my mind, little girls who lost their mothers were sent to Central Wesleyan Orphanage, which is located in Warrington, Missouri, where we live.I was even more frightened at the thought of being sent there.I prayed a lot when I was six years old: "Dear God, please let my mother live until I grow up and don't have to go to an orphanage." Twenty years later, older brother Mailer was injured and suffered terribly.He couldn't eat or turn over in bed.To ease his pain, I had to inject him with morphine every three hours, night and day.I was teaching music at Central Wesleyan College in town, and whenever the neighbors heard my brother crying out in pain, they would call the school, and I immediately put down my stick and rushed home to give my brother an injection.Every night before going to bed, I set the alarm clock to three hours later so that I can get up and serve my brother.I still remember, on winter nights, I always put the milk out of the window, let it freeze, and turned it into my favorite ice cream.The ice cream outside the window also became another reason for me to get up every time the alarm clock went off.

In such a difficult situation, I took two actions to keep myself from falling into self-pity, annoyance, and regret. First, I kept myself so busy, teaching music 12-14 hours a day, that I didn't have time to think about the worries.Whenever I feel sad, I say to myself over and over again: "Listen, as long as you can walk, eat, and don't suffer from serious illness, you are the happiest person in the world. Don't forget , no matter what difficulties you encounter, as long as you are still alive, you are the luckiest person, don’t forget.” I want to be thankful for my happiness.Every morning I wake up and thank God for getting out of bed, walking to the table, and making breakfast for myself.I deeply appreciate that despite all the difficulties I have encountered, I am still the happiest person in Warrington, Missouri.Although I didn't achieve much, I managed to establish myself as the most grateful woman in town, and few of my colleagues had as much hope in life as I did.

Keep yourself busy and have no time to worry; be grateful for your own happiness.This Missouri music teacher offers us two principles that may apply to you as well.