Chapter 55 Lesson 5: The Law of Eloquence for Criticizing Others Without Hurting Their Feelings

Criticism is like reared pigeons, they always fly home.We need to understand that the person we correct or condemn, he will also defend himself and condemn us in turn.Like the gentle Taft, he would say: "I don't know how to do it differently from what I've done. On Saturday morning, April 15, 1865, Lincoln lay in the bedroom of a humble apartment.The apartment was across from the Ford Theater where he had been sniped.Lincoln's slender body lay on a short, sunken bed against which hung a reproduction of a Bonham and Herds exhibition and a dim, pale light from a gas lamp. As Lincoln lay dying, Secretary of War Stanton said, "There lies the most perfect head of state that ever lived."

What is the secret of Lincoln's success in dealing with people?I spent about 10 years researching Lincoln's life, and at the same time I spent 3 years writing a book about him. I named this book "What People Don't Know About Lincoln" ". I believe I have exhausted my research on Lincoln's personality, and his family life, as far as any human being can do.I also found out about Lincoln's way of treating people and did special research.Did Lincoln indulge criticism?Yes, when he was young, in Pigeon Creek Valley, Indiana, he not only criticized, but also wrote letters and poems to ridicule people, and he threw what he wrote on the street where they were sure to be picked up, Among them was a letter that aroused a lifelong revulsion for him.

After Lincoln was admitted as a lawyer in Springfield, Illinois, he also published his manuscripts in the newspapers, publicly attacking those who opposed him, but he only did such a thing once. In the fall of 1842, Lincoln ridiculed a pompous and pugnacious Irish politician called "Shields."Lincoln published an anonymous letter satirizing him in the Springfield newspaper, which made the town roar with laughter.Shields was usually sensitive and proud, and this incident aroused his inner rage.When he found out who wrote the letter, he jumped on his horse and immediately went to Lincoln and challenged him to a duel.

Lincoln was usually unwilling to fight and opposed dueling, but he couldn't avoid it for the sake of his own face.His opponent Shields left him to choose his own weapon.Lincoln's two arms are very long, so he chose the broadsword used by the cavalry. He learned knife fighting with a graduate of the West Point Military Academy.On the appointed day, he and Shields were on the banks of the Mississippi River, ready to fight to the death, and it was at the last minute that friends of both parties intervened to prevent the duel. This was the most amazing and terrifying thing for Lincoln.But this incident taught Lincoln an invaluable lesson in the art of dealing with people.From then on, he never wrote insulting letters, never ridiculed people again.From then on, he almost never criticized anyone for anything.

Sharp criticism is like a stinging cold wind, which makes people feel cold and cold. It is natural for people to accept your criticism.Remember, never criticize others easily, let alone criticize others with sharp words.