Chapter 44 Warmth is better than cold, peace is better than harshness

It is often more effective to use gentle methods to inspire others to think about themselves or reflect on themselves, and then to persuade others, than to use strong methods. Because everyone has his own thoughts, he is not a defenseless fixed target, and as long as we aim at him, he will fall down with a "bang" gunshot. In the chain of interpersonal communication, no one is a passive target, but the subject of communication.If you want to shoot at him, can't he dodge for a while, or use his spiritual shield to block you back?Even pick up a gun and pull the trigger on you? One day, little student Peter was kicked out of class by the English teacher.After standing in the corridor for a while, Peter came to the senior's office angrily.The senior is aware of the situation at this time. If Peter is severely criticized, or even "corporal punishment", Peter will definitely not listen to it, and he will even collide with himself.So, the senior stood up and patted Peter's head, "Hey, you are still angry! Come on, sit on my chair for a while and calm down." Staring at him, soft words floated in his ears, asking him to understand what happened.

Faced with the calm "gentleness" of the senior, Peter's anger gradually calmed down, and he stated what happened objectively and fairly, and his words also contained his self-blame.After class, Peter took the initiative to apologize to the English teacher. To deal with this matter, if the seniors use indiscriminate, verbal and corporal punishment, it will naturally not produce such a good educational effect. Usually, many teachers are blowing the "north wind" to take off "a certain coat" on the students. However, the biting cold "north wind" will only arouse the children's antagonism and rebellious psychology.

Although the fierce north wind is fierce, the result will be counterproductive; although the mild south wind is gentle, it can achieve the expected goal. Some people are very strong when talking with everyone. Once or twice, you may have the upper hand because of your strength, but soon you will find that you have lost your friends. We often see that when we have conflicts and conflicts with others, if we refuse to give in, it will only hurt both sides in the end.Why don't we learn from the mild south wind?When encountering a problem, sit down and talk about it calmly. This is an effective way to persuade others to solve the problem.

When dealing with the relationship between people, we must pay special attention to the way and method.Give people more warmth and less coldness.Be more gentle with each other and less harsh with people.