Chapter 7 Chapter 6: The friendship between gentlemen is as light as water

People like us who live in everyone's sight enjoy a lot of benefits and convenience because of the so-called popularity, but they also lose a lot of freedom.The most obvious is that we are not qualified to pick, choose and prefer, but must be treated equally and foolproof.No matter how strange or impolite or unhygienic people come to talk to you, you must greet them with a smile and be warm and thoughtful. Unfortunately, I happen to be a very picky person, and many situations will make me unhappy.For example, some people refuse to shine Facing it honestly, you will sneakily follow you, and some people will pull your sweaty T-shirts to ask you to sign on the clothes, and some people will even ask you to sign with RMB. These situations violate my basic moral standards and aesthetic tastes , usually I will sternly refuse without regard to demeanor, without any room for negotiation.

The most embarrassing time was when I was going to the bathroom, a young man came in with a book and held it up in front of my face, "Sign it, brother Jiong!" Because it was in progress, I had to look at him innocently, he He looked at me expectantly, and after a moment of silence, he said, "Are you busy now?" I replied awkwardly, "Yes, quite busy." You said, how can I face it calmly and be tolerant? In contrast, there are also my favorites. For example, I especially love to receive letters from an audience member named Pu Su. For me, there are so many enthusiastic letters from all over the country every day that it has become the biggest debt to my heart. Because I don’t have time to respond to people’s enthusiasm one by one, I feel guilty when I read one, and feel ashamed when I read another. Some people were scared when they read the letter.

That's it, I am still quietly looking forward to Pu Su's letter like a middle school student who is waiting for a letter from a pen pal. Pu Su is an office worker in Shanghai. She occasionally writes to me, and she always uses light blue letterhead.In her letters, there are also pertinent evaluations of me, and occasionally warm praises.Most of the time, it is about her own mood stories and life impressions. Everything is so light and comfortable. For example, she would write about going to a furniture store with her friends, and at that time I was going back and forth to various furniture plazas in the capital because of moving, and I never got tired of it; for example, she would sometimes end her letters like this: "I know that many people need your help. They bring comfort and support. I am a simple person, I only have blessings in my heart, and you must live a healthy life!” At that time, I just recovered from a minor illness and felt the importance of health.Although there were not many contacts, these heart-to-heart exchanges with high gold content made us quickly become friends.Because of sincerity and decency, I didn't feel the aggressive enthusiasm in her letter, and there was no pressure of "you will destroy a young and hot heart if you don't reply again", everything was just right.Neither sweet nor greasy, neither loose nor tight, fully feel her self-esteem and respect for me.

So I remembered the sentence that the predecessors summed up the highest state of friendship-the friendship between gentlemen is as light as water. Now it is difficult to see the friendship of gentlemen who are as light as water.The loneliness of modern people leads to another complication, which is tentatively called "friendship out of control disorder".Nowadays, many people go to extremes when making friends, "I choose absolute or zero", they either get along day and night, or they are cold-hearted, either they are too lonely or they are terribly dependent.Friends who don't know how to control and balance are either hot or cold, and it's hard to experience the state of mildness and lightness.

One day, my student came to me with a sad face and asked for help, saying that he had suffered a major blow and had a very boring life. The reason was that his best friend had ignored him these days.I was surprised and sent out a series of questions: "How old are you?" "Why are you still playing this kind of trick like a child?" "Have you ever wondered why he ignores you?" "If he ignores you, no one else will." Have you?" "Don't you know what to do if no one pays attention to you?" Teachers and students began to argue. "But I need his friendship very much!"

"But you finally have to face your own life and choices alone!" "Aren't friends the most important thing?" "Of course not. It's good to have friends, but the so-called friendship is actually the icing on the cake, not the basis of your existence. Can't you live well without friends? How can you have friends if you can't live well yourself? What can you bring to your friends? Isn't this a vicious circle?" I continued to preach. "Friends should not be dependent on each other, but they can be wonderful when they are independent, and it is even better when they meet together. They are not lingering when they get along, and they are not attached when they are separated. When they think of him, they will smile lightly knowingly, willingly and willingly. Don't deliberately do something for him within your ability. It sounds a bit bloody to go through fire and water. I still like the old saying-the friendship between gentlemen is as light as water. Don't you think water is the most meaningful thing in the world? Most tasteful drink?"

At the end of the long speech, I looked forward to the student's response triumphantly, but his answer made me so angry that I almost fell under the chair. My student thought about it, got up and said goodbye.Said at the door: "I've always liked cola and coffee, which are more stimulating." Dumbfounded, I chased his back and said, "In the future you will reach the age where you like to drink water!" Really, does anyone still like to drink water these days?Is the friendship between gentlemen who are as light as water really out of date? Forget it, don't think about it, let's save time and reply to the letter.