Chapter 6 Section 5: Ideals at that time

This title really reminds me of the scene when I was biting the tip of a pencil and writing a composition when I was a child.At that time, even if there was no grand blueprint, I still had to gnash my teeth and write a page full of big words, so I often wrote a composition several times to have several different ideals.What is exasperating is that almost every year there are such composition questions that appear intact or in a different form, and as time goes by, I start to become a little afraid of this topic.I really didn't expect to write such a text when I was old! I thought about it carefully, except that there were some fragmented and dreamy memories when I was a child, but I can’t really remember anything.

Let yourself still cherish the ideal.Not to mention the ideal, even every time when I was asked about my future plans in an interview, I just faltered and said: "Let's do the things in front of us first!" I haven’t had many plans since I was a child. I like to focus on the things at hand, and my interests and hobbies change from time to time, so I seldom think about what I will become in the future, and I often don’t know very well. What exactly do you want. It sounds a little dazed. Of course, I have to seriously recall that I had a few serious dreams when I was a child. Although none of them came to fruition later, these ideals at that time still cast a shadow in today's life more or less.

For example, I once seriously thought about becoming a dancer.When I was a child, I often performed "solo dance" in front of everyone without knowing how to blush.The reason why I put quotation marks is because my so-called "solo dances" are basically mentally retarded movements of stretching arms and kicking legs, and the repetition rate is extremely high.So much so that when I went to elementary school and volunteered to choreograph for the party, I was complained by my classmates: "I have done this move several times!" "If you dare to let us kick like this again, we will kick you like this!"

I always thought that it was the powerful female classmates who tortured my ideal of dancing.Coupled with the fact that the figure did not improve by leaps and bounds with age, seeing that he had grown into a typical "short person with short legs", the dream of a dancer was wiped out.But now every time I see a child learning to dance passing by tall and proud, my heart still itches faintly. For a while, I always went to a design company to publish a book.Every time I get there I can't help myself.Seeing a table full of design drafts, drawings, paper plates, etc., I must have jumped in, then stared at the designers with bloodshot jealous eyes, and said viciously: "I want to live like you! I want to live like this! Want to!!!”

I remember that I was determined to be a designer back then!And at that time, because I had already attended middle school, I thought that my mental development was already sound, and I firmly believed that I could make plans for my future.Because I like painting and I think I have a high aesthetic taste, so I believed that I was talented, potential and promising in design. At that time, it took a lot of effort: I competed with my tablemates to design clothes, and drew a bunch of "perfect" monsters with a 1:9 ratio of upper and lower body (those who are interested can find the relics in the book "Jing Jiong You Shen") ; design blackboard newspapers, standing in front of the blackboard newspapers in the cold for two hours without complaint; designing the cover of my own homework, but the result was almost rejected by the teacher because it was too complicated and luxurious (I was still resentful at the time , I was shocked when I dug out the Chinese homework covered with gold paper from under the bed a while ago, and then I realized how much my teacher was stimulated back then); I also designed a signature, and once turned the name of my good friend upside down I designed a whole hundred kinds and gave it as a birthday gift, which moved my friends to tears...

I thought about being a reporter, I thought about being a lawyer, I thought about being a water skier... Then, I became who I am now. Now I am not a dancer, and I can only look at the back of other designers and sigh, and the reporter's dream, the lawyer's dream, and a lot of dreams are just a lot of dreams. But today, I am still very willing to reminisce about these childhood dreams, whether strong or weak, impulsive or serious, and stubbornly refuse to admit that the ideals at that time have been shattered with the passage of time. I thought, "Everyone who walks will leave traces", my ideal still changed my life.Now my limbs are very obedient, and I am strong and strong when it is time to shoot. I don’t learn any movements that require a sense of balance and coordination, such as water skiing, ice skating, rock climbing, etc. Shaped into an "action star", "All these difficult games let Jiong Jiong demonstrate first, and his movements are the most suitable", when I was hung on a steel wire or struggling on a skateboard, I thought this should be a benefit For my dancing dream?

Although I didn't become the designer I was determined to do later, I could have a design addiction in my book, design the cover, and even dare to draw comics and publish a collection of pictures, and no one has said so far My paintings are ugly (of course, it is very likely that everyone is saving face for me), and now I match the clothes I wear when hosting, and spend very little money to bring fresh and changeable images to the audience, and my colleagues are envious of me. Clothes, after knowing the price, I started to envy my wallet, and I was unexpectedly named one of the top ten fashionable people. Who said I didn't continue my design ideals?

Today, it seems that we have regarded talking about ideals as a very luxurious thing.Really, we are bound by too many realistic frameworks to dream, and we are busy with worldly affairs, it seems that we really have no time to conceive our own ideals.What's more, we still think like this: "What am I? What right do I have to emphasize what I want, shout out what kind of person I want to be? Besides, who cares about my ideals?" We went to KTV that day, and found a super complicated song in the songbook called "How Do I Know You Love Me If We Never Say It".Later I thought, how will others know our ideals if we never tell them?I admit that it is not easy to realize your ideals or make others respect your ideals, but if you don’t talk or do it, isn’t the hope even slimmer?As long as there is one percent hope, you should fight for it, right?

Today, I am still very willing to relive those ideals at that time, whether strong or weak, impulsive or serious.Although the pile of dreams is still just a pile of dreams, I still feel in my heart: It's great to have a dream!