Thirteen years ago, I was born in the central part of China. If it is a coincidence, then, I happened to be born in the Wuhou Temple where Zhuge Liang "cultivated Nanyang". Also, I was deaf when I was three years old. To be deaf is to be deaf, like Helen Keller, like Beethoven.It is also like many deaf children who are poor and hopeless in rural areas, and it is difficult to make a living in their lifetime! Don't people have a sense of their own life and death? ! Is life like this? Unfortunately, we have no memory of our own birth, but we know life and death when we see them.

Are we born with a sense of death? Certainly not. I never doubted it. If we knew from birth that we would die one day, I am afraid we would not be living as happily as we are now. Although sometimes we are not very happy, but basically we still love life. If you know that you will face many difficulties in your life, such as survival struggle, hard work, illness, disability...many natural disasters and man-made disasters, will you still be so happy and live like this? Our body is originally healthy, although it will suffer many accidents at any time in life. Natural disasters, man-made disasters.

A senior deaf expert said to me: "I have come into contact with many patients with prelingual deafness. They and their parents are very depressed and feel very hopeless about the future. Can you put yourself Tell them that there is nothing terrible about deafness?! Can you use your own story to show people that human beings can actually overcome many difficulties that even they can't even imagine? !" One of my netizens, Shangguan Wenqing, never pitied me, but treated me like a healthy person, and encouraged me to do many things by myself. He even said to me very contemptuously: Is deafness really that important, so is it worth caring about? !If you exaggerate this matter, that is the real disrespect for yourself!

So I think, these memories of mine, this book, there is nothing to show off or exaggerate myself.I'm just talking about the life of an ordinary person. In her life, she encountered some troubles, and these troubles are just what everyone will encounter.It's just that what they met was different from her... Such as broken love, such as missing out of school, such as unemployment, or the pain of losing a loved one...or even just poverty or losing money. I think it is impossible for a person to live without difficulties. Difficulties can't knock us down. What really knocks us down is that we have lost confidence in ourselves and our willpower has been completely lost!

Perhaps, this is a good reason why my life "needs to be written down". Many of my own things that I can recall now, the scenes of these things and the thoughts accompanying them are all incoherent in my memory, and they are many flashes, flashes from different periods. Only the highlights can be remembered. Then, let us follow the real memory and try our best to record those more valuable, or just beautiful and touching highlights. Do you know nothing about your body, your family, your lineage, your nation, your country?Why do people want to know all this?Why learn about history?Understand humans?know yourself?

In fact, a person's history lies in his own heart. People are often used to looking for the source of life and their position in the long river of history, either to learn from others, or to learn from themselves, or just out of curiosity... Sometimes people are very concerned about themselves, their home, their nation and the history of the country. Our life needs to compare, compare with others, compare with our past, compare with history, and find out many similarities and differences. When we read other people's stories, we are actually looking for our own shadow. I understand this, deeply.

Do I need a better reason? Isn't this reason enough to write your own story?So, let us write our own "history" and begin... Just let you have a good chat with me! Dad said: "Attitude is everything, and the shortcomings of human beings are eternal." For example, "every life is bound to die", "resources are scarce", "love is hard to find" and so on. "Only attitude can change life. Positive, optimistic and upward attitude can make people healthy and beautiful, while negative, pessimistic and fatalistic attitude can make people decadent and sinking."

So, I think I will now write about myself using Helen as an example, so that everyone can understand me.And to answer all the classmates and teachers who want to know more about me, the topic I proposed is simply called. If I were Helen... what would happen to me? In fact, like Helen Keller, I was deaf due to illness when I was a very young child.Fortunately, I am not blind like Helen, my precious sight is still there!God has reserved at least half of the channels for me to communicate with this world. You might think that deaf people just can't hear.Then you could be very wrong. If people are deaf before speaking, they will not only lose the ability to listen, but also will not be able to learn to speak.At this time, you will suddenly realize: the deaf-mute isolates people from the world of sound. Its pain is not only the inability to hear, but the deeper pain lies in the inability to speak. The silent world forces the deaf - autism, depression, and disappointment!

Can't learn, can't communicate; can't accept, can't express, can't understand and communicate with people... The language barrier will almost expel a person from the civilized world!The pain is enormous, the reality is cruel, and there is no way for you to overcome it!The days of treatment and rehabilitation are long and arduous, requiring investment of time, manpower and money. When I was ignorant of the world, this pain was first borne by my parents.My deafness nearly broke my mom!However, they never thought of giving up! Sometimes you will feel that life is so fragile, so easily damaged... Maybe you will think of death, how helpless life is!For a period of time when I was a child, I was perplexed by the question of "people are actually mortal" every day, so I thought for a long time: How short is life?Flick of the fingers for a moment, in the blink of an eye is a hundred years!

Healthy people always know death very late.Even if you know that there is death in the world, you just think that it is someone else's business and has nothing to do with you.Death is not only distant, but terrifying!People in good health tend to ignore it and live blindly, and perhaps a little ungratefully! Although not every healthy person is full and idle all day long.But in this technologically advanced century, all people feel the pressure to survive.Everyone is racing against the clock to make the most of their health!Health is so important to each of us, but it is temporary!Even a person who never gets sick will experience aging.And that hateful aging is the enemy of health!In the last period of our life, we will always encounter the disease of aging!

Therefore, Helen said: "Health is short-lived and precious! However, when we are healthy, we often don't know how to cherish it!" We never dare to get tired of life!However, when dealing with one's own talent and using one's own organs, especially the one's organs that perceive the external world, they often don't know clearly!We don't know how to cherish and often waste resources! Sight, hearing, touch, smell, taste...and the mysterious sixth sense are so important to us, they are our bridge to the outside world, the tool for us to know the world, understand the world and express ourselves!When one of them is compromised, our existence feels greatly impeded!Without them, we wouldn't even be able to communicate with the world at all! When I was young, due to my deafness, I couldn't feel some important information from the outside world, especially the most important information about human civilization - the greatest language of human beings!The language barrier is almost fatal to a person-it separates your mind from the world, and falls into a silent and lonely wilderness! Sometimes I think, it's better to change God's punishment for me-let me go blind!In this way, I can at least learn the language and hear the notes of human civilization!At other times, I would beg God to take away my legs, my arms, and all my motor functions, so that culture, the miracle of this universe creature, can be successfully entered into my heart... But all this is ridiculous. In fact, all disabilities are very cruel and inconvenient to human beings, and the pain is almost the same... So whenever I read Helen's "If You Give Me Three Days of Light", I can't help feeling had the opposite idea.I think, if I were Helen, I would tell people like this: "You - never be blind, never deaf, never paralyzed, never numb... Cherish your health, every function of the human body is indispensable !" Of course, ears are hearing, eyes are seeing, deaf but not deaf, blind or blind, or deaf and blind, together they are unintelligent, unhealthy, disabled, vulnerable, and destined to be unemployed before they are employed!The loss of other human organs or functions, like eyes and ears, is a terrible disaster for human beings! Of course, Helen said, "It is best for people to be deaf and blind for a while when they are adults", just to remind people, let them know how to cherish, and know the benefits of health to the human body!Cherish healthy organs to bring people the ordinary sensual joy in life, know the value of using them and developing them! I envy healthy ears!I envy how easily they can capture external information and make people learn languages ​​so easily!Hearing enables healthy people to talk with others without any difficulty, and to listen to knowledge freely in the classroom... I envy every raised hand in the classroom, that means their masters are listening, talkative, their There are no difficulties and obstacles for the master to communicate with others... Oh, how happy are those hands! However, my hands are not always so refreshing!How I want to have a pair of fearless hands!That's a sign of easy communication with people...can't...I can't live without pain!However, I did not feel inferior because of this!I am eager to hear everything in the world, and I am eager to be free in the world of listening and speaking! "I'm a little, little, little bird, fly, fly, I can't fly high..." How I long to hear everything in this world clearly!If my sight alone gives me so much pleasure out of this world, why don't you, healthy people, enjoy your senses to the fullest? !I once wrote an article titled: "My Music". my music. Today, someone pointed at me and said, "My God, she, a deaf kid, is listening to music!" They asked me, "Are you really deaf?" I nodded vigorously.They said, "Can you still hear a little bit?" I nodded.Finally they said: "Do you understand?!" Yes, I understand!I also want to make music! God gave birth to deaf people, also gave birth to deaf people, and let everyone have their own music!Music is something that is innate with the human mind, listen to it with your heart! Compared with the heart, ears are not so precious! Beethoven, for example, wrote his greatest heroic symphony after he was deaf!The hero's melody is not what he hears, but what he feels in his heart. It is the real joy, sorrow, sorrow and joy of the human spirit!It is Beethoven, the greatest musician of mankind, who has no sound in the real world, and the fatal desire for sound!It is his deep rebellion against his silent world and his fate! Grab the throat of fate!He literally chokes! Perhaps, you will say that Beethoven is not really a deaf person!At least before he was deaf, he had a deep memory of all the sounds in the world.After being deaf, his memory of sounds and his profound musical accomplishments were sufficient to cope with all his future musical impulses, and to satisfy any skills required by his creative impulses.He's also a guy who's a little bit annoyed by voices. I would reply: No, you are not quite right!Real musicians are never angry with sound. Perhaps, their voices and memory of sounds are incomplete; perhaps, their pentameters and the skills to create with them are insufficient!But how rich and beautiful are the little incomplete sounds they can hear, the music, the vibrations of sound frequencies that they can hear or just feel with their bodies! That is the longing of human beings for sound and all the beautiful things that sound can express!Just like the blind men for light, for color, for things they have never seen in the world... A person with imperfections is not in the body, they are just having some little difficulty. If you ask a blind man: can you see the sun?The blind man must say: Yes, I can!I can see from all kinds of sounds, from my sense of touch and my sense of light and color!Therefore, the sun of the blind must be more beautiful!If you ask a deaf person: can you hear music?The deaf must say: Yes, I can!That is my experience of the most beautiful colors and images in the world, the tiniest light and shadow, the joy, anger and disappointment of the most mysterious human mind... So, better music for the deaf! God closes your door to people, but will open a window for you!The various senses of human beings can complement each other perfectly.So when you encounter misfortune, don't be disappointed!look!All kinds of colors!All the good fortune and misfortune written on the face of mankind!There is nothing more sad than heart death!There is nothing better than hope!Where there is hope, there is everything! Every tiniest smile, every faintest cry, and every slight change in the color of nature... every bit of human hearing, the sublime and the majestic, the base and the low... the best that a hearing person has The grand and most intimate sound is recorded into the mind of the deaf through the feeling of the eyes and the body... So, there is music, and the noise of the mind! Loud voice and rare voice, it must be this kind of realm! God begot you and made you human, whether you are deaf or blind, or you are a very lucky healthy person!Remember, everything in the world can only be beautiful if it touches the heart! Whether it is music or painting.So you have to listen carefully!See and feel with your heart.Don't beg people to understand.The one who understands you is your bosom friend!Those who don't understand you are just your kind!It is your luck to have a bosom friend, and it is human fairness to have the same kind!Human beings can only ever exist among their own kind. Because humans are inherently symbiotic, sociality and diversity are our attributes.Individuality exists in commonality, and commonality wanders in individuality!Therefore, if I have a bosom friend, that is my luck; if I do not, that is also my fairness!No one has to understand you!Everyone is equal before God!This is me - a deaf child's little feeling for music. If you were the person standing in front of me, would you be my bosom friend now? ! If I were Helen Keller, in this case, I would also recommend that schools set up a compulsory course-how to use your ears.The teacher should let the students know what a rare miracle it is to hear the voices flashing past their ears and to talk easily with teachers and classmates!What a huge wealth of human society!Thus awakening people's understanding and cherishing of their various organ functions!To arouse people's awareness of their own talents and their love for health...so that they can create, work and live better! Helen said: "I often think this way. When I am alive today, I think that I may die tomorrow. This may be a good habit. Such an attitude will make life particularly valuable. Our daily life should be calm and vigorous. Vigorous, observant, and these things tend to disappear slowly in the long flow of time day after day, month after month, year after year." If I were Helen Keller, I would also ask you to think about this question: If you only had three days of hearing, how would you use your ears?Thinking that after three days, the voice will never ring in your ears again, how will you spend those precious three days?Where do you let your hearing stay?If I were Helen, if by some miracle I could hear for three days and then go back to silence again, I think I would not sleep during these precious three days and would, like Helen, The three days are divided into three phases: Phase 1: I will learn to listen to language and knowledge, to remember those who love and teach me... The second stage: I want to create wealth, self-reliance, self-improvement, self-love, love for others... The third stage: At this moment when the deadline comes, I will enjoy the joy of the sound world with the people who love me and my love. For these three days I will make the following arrangements... first day. Like Helen, I want to listen to the voices of those kind, gentle, friendly people who make my life worthwhile!First of all, I want to listen to my dear mother's voice carefully and carefully for a long time!It was she who gave birth to me and gave me such a precious life!I will lay my head on her dear breast, and hear the beating of a human heart as I have never heard before!Listen to the peristalsis of the intestines and stomach, listen to the human body - how the greatest machine in the world works and how it works... How does the long river of human life flow continuously under the pump pressure of the heart... I want to talk to my mother, I want to listen to my clear mother tongue without hearing aids, from the mouth of my dearest mother Here, learn how real human voices are made...not the kind of indistinct metallic sounds that are amplified by machines...I will remember these voices!Remember mom!Remember the continuation of human life... Then I'm going to run to my daddy and listen to what a great male voice this world has for me!My father not only gave me life together with my mother, but also used his hard work to earn material wealth, feed me, heal me, and restore my life... His voice may be deep, But it is always indispensable for me... I remember that not long ago, it cost more than 30,000 yuan to replace my hearing aid at home, but it was not easy for my father, because he spent all his life's wealth on academic research . I remember that day, I shed a lot of tears and wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper. I wrote: "What can writing do? Do you know why I write?...Because I'm deaf! Because I'm deaf and need a hearing aid, so I write! A hearing aid costs 18,000 yuan! Listen, it's 18,000, but Not 1800! Two hearing aids are 36000, not 3600... I don’t want to look at my father’s tired face with fatigue, and my mother’s sad face with sadness! So I want to earn money to buy it by myself. But I am still so young, I don't know how to make money yet. Therefore, I want to write, and the average cost of each manuscript is 100 yuan, so I need 360 manuscripts. But I know that the merchant who sells hearing aids can earn 18,000 yuan for every pair of hearing aids... We We deaf people, most of them are children, or their relatives. However, the merchants are innocent, that is their way of life! Sometimes they are also the kindest, they are eager to serve, and they have generously given me preferential prices... … "Whenever I walk across the overpass and see those beggars, I think: I won't do that...but I really envy their courage! Whenever I see someone being assisted in the newspaper, I think: I won't do that, but I really envy their luck! Whenever I know someone has won the jackpot, I will say: I won't do that, but I really want that person to be me...so poor I am the one who loves me! Because I only learned composition and typing in elementary school, so I want to type out articles to sell in exchange for my ears, my hearing aids, the most important organs of my life and study! However, I really No way... Later I just wanted to get my tuition back, and then I heard that the borrowing fee had increased, so I just wanted to get back the increased part! My father came to the south because of my deafness, because I heard that Can earn enough for medical bills without begging... I know it's true when they say everyone who goes south has some problem to solve. "I've never wanted to admit that I'm deaf, and I've never wanted to tell people ... this is the first time I've said it. "Have you seen "Pretty Mom"? My mother is not beautiful enough. She taught me to speak, but she is not beautiful! For older women, beauty is maintained by money. I know my mother Anxious to get angry every day, for me, for life... She has no beauty at all! I remember reading an essay when I was young, which contained such a sentence: When I was young, my father stood under the tree. At that time, my father was so young, and the tree was So old; now my father is standing under that tree, the tree is so young, and my father is so old... I was happy at that time, and I was still far away from that kind of life! But how do I know that time is ruthless, and I will face such cruelty in a blink of an eye What's the reality?! "I often look at the photos when I was a child: at that time, my father was strong, my mother was beautiful, and only I was small and ugly... But now, my father is tired, my mother is anxious, and only I am strong and ugly. Beautiful... I often think how well that prose is written! I searched all over the world, wanted to find my position, and found a way to replace my father's labor...I wrote all over the world, wrote...I want to write 36,000 yuan! Write about a pair of deaf ears—an important organ for my study and earning a living...I write all over the world, write! I want to write out the equation of my future survival—what can I do? What can writing do? ?! However, I really can't!" What do you see in this letter? What confuses people is not only health, but also poverty!Thanks to my dad!He used his hard work to bear such a heavy burden!Spiritual, material, endless... I know, he is even more difficult than Helen's father!Still helpless!Because my dad is a proletarian through and through!Only relying on my own labor, but I have to bear such a big responsibility... So sometimes I would say to my mother: "We, none of us can get sick!" The third person I want to listen to this day is my teachers!I want to take a Chinese class without difficulty like every healthy child!Let me hear the teacher's moving explanation without wearing a hearing aid and without looking at the lips!I also want to raise my hand high and answer the questions raised by the teacher without any obstacles... I want to take down the class notes without any obstacles, and I don’t have to copy my classmates because of omissions. their notes... Then, I have to take a math class to my heart's content. I don't have to just guess based on the teacher's example questions written on the blackboard. Listen clearly and remember... On this day, I will have a good English class and talk to our dear foreign teacher Sarah. I want to hear her say to me personally: "Sydney, you speak so well, Sydney, You' revery good! You're speak English very well..." Just once, just once!In this way, the only time in my life I was praised by a foreign teacher's oral English teacher, and then I went back with satisfaction, back to my ambiguous auditory world... Oh, if only I were an owl!I heard that their hearing is the best of all creatures, and then there are bats... On this day, I want to ask God to give me a little longer, so that I can hear all subjects clearly!Chinese, mathematics, English, and later philosophy, law, medicine, literature... and even ancient theology, so that all the useful voices in the world can pass through my ears to my heart, and then I will never forget them!Let me fully grasp the core of human beings and the universe, the vitality of life, and the source of wisdom! On this day, I don't want to sleep, and don't let my precious short hearing disappear in my sleep... I want to sit in the moonlight and count the stars, and hear the secrets of the deep universe with my own ears... I also want to go to the small river, the sea Beside, listen to the sound of waves and streams... Ah!When the sun rises, I will discover the secret of its sound, and bathe in a new life... The next day comes when I have hearing. I want to run to the telephone first, use this machine that is always mysterious to me, I want to communicate with the world, I want to create... I will not complain about the shortness of time, nor the injustice of fate, I will Not through divine power and divine mouth, but through my own strength and my own mouth, registering a productive entity with my own mouth...I want to create, material, spiritual, valuable and priceless...I want first Let my father stop suffering, let my mother stop sweating for our basic necessities in the hot summer, let those who need my help stop looking at me with begging eyes... I want strength !To be able to do something for people!Build a good field, let the flowing water of wealth flow forever and never stop... So I have to go out and negotiate with people everywhere! On this day, I must be very busy, and being tired will bend my body a little... On this day, I will be like Faust, when I hear the sound of human beings transforming the earth—the sound of free people working on free land, I will utter Sigh: "beautiful, please stop for a while..." Then I don't care about life or death, whether it is going to heaven or going to hell... How wonderful it would be to satisfy my extravagant wishes!How wonderful it would be if I could get rid of my current unreasonable life in the city and go to the grassland to build a pasture, farm, and live a pure pastoral life in the fields!Owning your own land, owning your own farm, your own crops, and your own livestock... How wonderful it would be if there were "the sky is blue, the fields are vast, and the wind blows and the grass looks low, and the cattle and sheep are low"! All my childhood and teenage years I have dreamed with my family of having my own piece of land, my own everlasting beautiful home... If, on the second day of my hearing, I could be like a real How pleasant it would be for a shepherd boy to play the flute with a bull's back like that, playing wonderful music!If there is a school and a library in this wonderful land, then how satisfied my life will be...Maybe, what I do this day is very monotonous and lacks poetry, but beauty, this It is the day when people raise their own mass production! On this day, I will be very happy, very happy, very satisfied...  It's my third day of hearing. I will enjoy the joy of the world of sound.First of all, I listen to music, classical, modern; elegant, popular, of various nationalities... Listen to how the old Beethoven choked the throat of fate!Then I watch movies and figure out the dubbing of Jackie Chan, Xu Qing and Chen Peisi in my favorite cartoon "Mulan"... Then I listen to the radio, poetry, songs, and operas to clearly hear the huge or loud sounds of various voices. Subtle differences... maybe a little more sound of thunder, wind and rain, flowers blooming, grass growing; Sad... happy, majestic, rough or gentle... Twins, F4... and Song Zuying's crispness, Yang Yuying's gracefulness, Zhang Yimou's magnificence... Then I go shopping, eat, have fun in the wild, chat with people, live a free, unobstructed life... Then I also want to visit some mothers as much as possible to let them pay attention to protecting their children's ears.I'll go to a newborn baby and listen to the first human sound to figure out why it's not a laugh but a big, loud cry... I'll go to a family with a baby who's just learning to talk Go, listen to the sound of yah learning a language, and listen to the fun of a family relationship that I have never experienced... I also want to listen to the sound of reading aloud, let my mother read a fairy tale to me under the quiet light ;Listen to the voice of my father telling stories, and enjoy the simple and ordinary happiness that I have never had before: "Ten little pigs want to cross the river, one little pig will be the big brother, the little pigs and piglets will sit in a row, and the big brother will count farts on the beach." Litters, counting and counting, why are there only nine litters? Little pig, little pig, tell me why there are only nine litters..." Ah, the sound!sound!sound! …funny, dignified; tender, strong; low, high-pitched; long, short… rhythmic, arhythmic; beautiful, ugly; pure, messy… melodious , Noisy... let me listen to, remember, and apply all the sounds... and then let my life stay in the dark night, stay in the last second of my hearing... return to my quiet world without complaint or regret. what!I have listened to, learned, distinguished, applied, and enjoyed the beautiful sound... and all these experiences will be the most precious memories in my life!I will remember these voices, I will remember the beauty of the colorful world... Those who love me and the people I love, I am so proud of this world!The existence of sound is a miracle in this physical world!I am willing to rejoice alone in the silence for the vibration of the sound ripples, for the fact that I have truly known and understood the secrets of sound and language... "I'm a little, little, little bird, fly, fly, I can't fly high..." Let me, a little bird that can't fly high and has been injured, rest in peace in the voice of my loved ones and enjoy the tenderness.  What a grand and beautiful three days and three nights with hearing!A full three days and three nights!Not a minute or a second!The charm of the sound has been etched into my soul! ... People, please cherish your world!Cherish the ordinary and hearing happiness!Develop your potential!Enjoy your healthy senses! Everything is intertwined and integrated into one!The heavenly power rises and falls, and the harmony resounds!great space!Fantastic universe!The dead tree and the soft vines are integrated into one, and this thing lives in the other thing!Great, infinite nature!We little human beings, your proudest sons and daughters, how should we grasp it?Where did you get your nurturing? Between the heaven and the earth, our eager hearts are looking forward to your surging, your infiltration... Your generosity makes each of us have the courage to bear the joys and sorrows of the world!Even if the moonlight is hidden from then on, all the lights in the world are extinguished from now on, everything is silent, and the sound disappears from now on... People with sharp ears and eyes are still proud of their own strength! This is what I, a deaf child, want to say to you—please don’t listen indifferently, respond indifferently, and say to the poor deaf me: This is just your wishful thinking about this world of sound!Look, how beautiful the world is!The earth is alive!Life advances through difficulties... Challenge life, challenge the limit of life! If I were Helen Keller...