Chapter 8 Huaxi, quiet wedding night

The night light is faint. Ba Jin's thin face was covered with a faint halo by the light.After several days of hard work, Ba Jin became more haggard than before.Especially his black hair before, for some reason, it turned gray unknowingly in the few days after Xiao Shan passed away.After he saw his hair that changed color overnight in the mirror, Ba Jin knew that the allusion of "Wu Zixu's hair turned white overnight" was by no means without reason. On the third day after Xiao Shan's death, he, his daughter, son-in-law and relatives of Xiao Shan came to the condolence hall of Longhua Funeral Home, where they held a simple farewell ceremony.That day Ba Jin could hardly sleep all night, he was always thinking about his wife's death.The more Ba Jin thought about Xiao Shan's unfortunate death, the more infinitely sad he felt.

In the boundless long summer night, the small courtyard with two large iron gates on Wukang Road looks extraordinarily peaceful and quiet.Ba Jin still clearly remembers the scene at the end of April 1955 when he and Xiao Shan excitedly moved into this small courtyard. At that time, Xiao Shan was full of yearning for a new life.Ba Jin never thought that one day she would walk in front of him.In the early 1950s, the organization began to pay attention to improving the living conditions of intellectuals. The Shanghai Municipal Party Committee adopted some special preferential policies especially for famous writers like Ba Jin who had influence both at home and abroad.Considering Ba Jin's special social influence, the superiors decided to let their family live in this quiet courtyard on Wukang Road.Xiao Shan, who was working as an editor of "Shanghai Literature" at that time, was very happy that their family could live in this elegant small building.

"Sir, the upstairs is best used as your writing room, because writing upstairs can give you a sense of tranquility." Ba Jin flipped through some of the texts left by Xiao Shan during his lifetime. Prose, revisiting their past.After the founding of the People's Republic of China, although Xiao Shan worked in "Shanghai Literature", she obeyed her husband's advice and always adopted the method of not asking for any remuneration.Xiao Shan's job as an editor is also different from others, she is only a voluntary labor.What she did at that time was exactly the same as Ba Jin's life principles when he came out of his hometown in Chengdu.

"Sir, we can't leave this secluded courtyard empty, so that there will be no life!" Xiao Shan's nice Ningbo accent seemed to float over from the boundless darkness of night again.In the quiet midnight, Ba Jin felt excited. Since Xiao Shan left, he dreamed of her almost every night.Her big beautiful eyes were always swaying in front of him.When Ba Jin heard her voice, he would think of Xiao Shan and him living together in this courtyard day and night.When they first moved here, it was Xiao Shan who suggested planting some trees in the yard.She knew that he liked magnolia saplings, so she did everything possible to ask someone to find saplings. Ba Jin remembered that it was a warm spring day with flowers floating in the air. Xiao Shan smiled and carried two saplings of magnolias into their small courtyard.Then he and she dug holes in the yard, planted trees, and watered them.Now the two magnolia trees have grown taller. Ba Jin stood alone in front of the downstairs window in the deep summer night. He found that the magnolia tree planted by Xiao Shan had already exceeded the eaves of the three-story building.The branches and leaves are lush and the tree stems are strong.The magnolia leaf crown looks black in the night.

"Yunzhen, I remember that you liked magnolia trees when you were in Kunming!" Ba Jin stood quietly in the night, and the solitary lamp projected his thin figure on the pink wall of the living room downstairs.He looked at the two magnolia trees outside the window alone, and suddenly thought of Xiao Shan from the magnolia tree. Kunming, bright sky, bright water. In the summer of 1939, Xiao Shan finally found the opportunity to go to college.But I didn't go to Chengdu to apply for Northeastern University, but a university in Kunming.At that time, after Ba Jin and Xiao Shan stayed in Guilin for a while, they suddenly learned that Southwest Associated University was about to open classes in Kunming.Southwest Associated University was a very influential school at that time, so after Ba Jin heard the news, he persuaded Xiao Shan to apply for the exam.

"Southwest Associated University? Of course I want to apply for the exam, but I don't know if I can get in based on my skills in Shanghai Women's High School?" Xiao Shan was naturally happy to see that Ba Jin attached so much importance to her college entrance examination.However, after listening to Ba Jin's introduction to Southwest Associated University, she felt a little apprehensive again.After all, her studies were limited at Shanghai Patriotic Girls' High School, and she didn't know whether she would be admitted to a prestigious university with her knowledge and talent.

Ba Jin stared at the delicate Xiao Shan, and said persuasively: "Yunzhen, since I got in touch with you, I have seen that you do have many advantages. Especially hardworking, which surprised me, because your background is in my impression. You can’t do physical strength, but you surprised me when you accompanied me to Hankou. It turns out that you also have the spirit of enduring hardships. It’s only about the spirit. Your talent and talent are much higher than mine, but you still need to work harder, that’s fine.” "Oh," Xiao Shan was very happy and excited after hearing Ba Jin's words, and she slowly savored his words.Xiao Shan could hear that while Ba Jin was encouraging herself to study hard and apply for the university entrance examination, at the same time, she also expressed faint worries in her words.He was euphemistically pointing out the weakness of her character, that is, the spirit of study needs to be strengthened.She listened to his words, showing embarrassing shyness on her face.After a long while, she suddenly realized, "Mr. Li, you mean I haven't suffered enough?"

Ba Jin hurriedly explained: "No, no. Yunzhen, I have already said that you are more talented than me. It's just that you lack the spirit of assiduous study. I like your foreign language skills very much. Sometimes you interpret some foreign languages. Fragments of famous works, I read them as an unexpected enjoyment. Although some interpretations are not appropriate, and they are not in the style of Pushkin and Turgenev, they have a strong literary atmosphere. I should say your translation Most of them are creative literary works. From the interpretation of these fragments, I have already seen that you are a promising girl. On this basis, I think you will succeed when you apply for university entrance exams..."

From then on, Ba Jin discovered that Xiao Shan began to work hard in silence. When they lived in seclusion in Guilin for several months, Xiao Shan got up to read almost every day before dawn.By the summer of 1939, both he and she had returned to Shanghai.This was the last time they decided to go back to Shanghai before Xiao Shan applied for Southwest Associated University.Xiao Shan needed to say goodbye to her parents and family members. Her mother was a reasonable person. When she heard that Ba Jin supported her daughter to go to the United Nations University, she immediately agreed and said: "Since Mr. Li agrees with your admission to the United Nations University , you just take the exam!"

In July, Ba Jin sent Xiao Shan to Hong Kong. Hong Kong is also a strange city to Xiao Shan.There are flames of war in the mainland, but the Victoria Seaside is still singing and dancing.Ba Jin and Xiao Shan spent three unforgettable days in Hong Kong.Here, Xiao Shan will turn to the unfamiliar Kunming, while Ba Jin will return to Shanghai alone.Although there were frequent wars in the mainland at that time, Shanghai had become an isolated island, but for Ba Jin, Shanghai was his place of rebirth.Although he has arrived in Hong Kong, a safe place, his heart has never left Shanghai. "Yunzhen, you go. I will definitely go to Kunming when you are on summer vacation next year. At that time, I will let you see the new book I wrote in Shanghai." At that time, Xiao Shan could not go to Kunming. Take the plane.She is just a poor student, and Ba Jin only has some meager salary.So she can only go to Kunming by passenger ship.That day, when the passenger ship set sail at the Hong Kong pier, Ba Jin and his friends sent Xiao Shan into the cabin together. When they parted, Ba Jin once again told her: "Yunzhen, you have to remember that when you arrive in Kunming, you must be more careful." Write to me, seeing your letter is my greatest comfort!"

"Don't worry, Mr. Li, I will write a letter." The girl flew on the passenger ship like a butterfly flying away. After Ba Jin returned to the bank of the Huangpu River, he quickly resumed his previous life of reclusive life.He closed the door to thank guests, and kept his ears to nothing, only wanting to write his new book.Soon, his novel was quietly written in the pain of missing Xiao Shan. The summer of 1940 arrived. At that time, Ba Jin took a few new books that had just been picked up from the printing factory, and once again took a boat from Shanghai to Kunming.When he came to Kunming and put his ink-scented paper in front of Xiao Shan, he still clearly remembers that Xiao Shan was as happy as she was when she read Ba Jin in Shanghai.She sees Ba Jin continuing and extending the characters and events in the novel.Some plots were told by Xiao Shan before, and some stories were provided by Xiao Shan to Ba Jin when she was in Guilin. After reading it, the girl was shocked to find that the reason why Ba Jin's novels had a deafening effect at that time was that Ba Jin was good at organically integrating the stories of contemporaries he knew into his novels. "This is the magnolia tree, Mr. Li, look how brilliant the magnolia flowers are blooming. The snow-white flowers symbolize purity and friendship!" Ba Jin lived in Kunming for three months, during which time he still buried himself The writing of another novel "Fire".He feels that Kunming is different from Shanghai, which has become an isolated island. Here, it is like spring all year round. What's more, it is far away from the enemy's war. He can concentrate on writing without worry in a private house that Xiao Shan rents for him.He wants to put his own experience of life into writing.Although Shanghai and Nanjing have fallen to the enemy, Ba Jin is completely unmoved.He knew that he was unarmed and unable to go to the front to kill the enemy and serve the country. The best way was to influence and inspire the people with his books. Ba Jin worked hard day and night, and his language was like the gurgling river in front of his residence, which flowed through his heart day and night.He is determined to express his love for the motherland through the characters in the book.Therefore, during the 90 days in Kunming, he devoted almost all his energy to writing.Xiao Shan was very sad to see him writing day and night.The kind-hearted Xiao Shan suggested from time to time to take Ba Jin out to visit places of interest near Kunming.Of course Ba Jin couldn't refuse, so he and Xiao Shan traveled all over the beautiful Jizu Mountain, Jianchuan and Qujing. One day, Xiao Shan and Ba Jin went to fill the pond together. When they came to the Black Dragon Pool, Xiao Shan suddenly found a magnolia tree.She had seen this kind of tree when she went to Guangzhou the year before last, and there was such a tree in the yard of Ba Jin's Cultural Life Branch.Now they met magnolias again in Yunnan, Xiao Shan and Ba Jin insisted on taking a group photo in front of those budding magnolia trees.Ba Jin knew that perhaps from then on, Xiao Shan secretly vowed that one day when she and Ba Jin had their own home, they would plant a few magnolia trees that she liked in the courtyard. At No. 13 Wukang Road, Shanghai, Xiao Shan realized her long-cherished wish. Now the hostess has gone away leisurely, but the two tall magnolias are still there.The dense canopy rustled in the early autumn breeze, stirring Ba Jin's troubled heart.He never wanted to see those two magnolia trees again, because Ba Jin felt sad after seeing the magnolia trees.He turned around and walked up the stairs, and returned to the small building he was familiar with, only to find that the room where Xiao Shan and him lived in the past had been seized by the rebels in the early days of the "Cultural Revolution".Now he sees some rooms with seals still on the doors.Dust has sealed the closed doors. Those rooms were once the witnesses of Ba Jin and Xiao Shan spending a peaceful time together after the founding of the People's Republic of China. Ba Jin seemed to have seen that palpitating scene again: several men with belts in their hands rushed through the door desperately, and they wanted to rush into Ba Jin's study upstairs.Go rummage through the precious collections that are neatly arranged on the bookshelves.Xiao Shan wanted to step forward to stop these home raiders, but how could she, a weak woman, stop those ferocious strong men?Just when Xiao Shan wanted to stop, persuade, and protect Ba Jin's precious books with reason and justice, someone suddenly waved his hand, and slapped Xiao Shan hard on the forehead with the belt with a copper head in his hand. down.With a groan, she covered her bloody forehead and fell to the ground... Ma'am.Standing here, Ba Jin suddenly remembered his marriage with Xiao Shan.They came to Guiyang via Guilin in October 1942.At that time, Xiao Shan's studies in Kunming had not yet ended. She found that Ba Jin was wandering around because of the war, so she resolutely decided to suspend her studies. Then she followed Ba Jin's route to the rear and followed closely. come up.When she and Ba Jin met in Guiyang, it was already autumn of that year.The Ba Jin who appeared in front of Xiao Shan was no longer the elegant scholar he first met in the "Xinya" restaurant by the Huangpu River in Shanghai.The smoke and dust of the war covered Ba Jin's face with a touch of melancholy.He seems a little old, but also a little more mature and capable. "Sir, you have suffered!" It was still her crisp voice. "It's nothing, Yunzhen, you have suffered too!" Ba Jin looked at her and smiled, very happy and happy.After the two broke up, the Guangdong branch of the Cultural Life Publishing House led by Ba Jin, after thousands of miles of long-distance migration, finally disintegrated in Guilin.Many editorial staff could no longer bear the pain of being separated from their own family, and were forced by the livelihood and war, and finally they began to leave the branch led by Ba Jin.Ba Jin was at a loss for what to do about this situation. Faced with the decline of his career and the disappointment of his future, he trekked all the way, and finally had to live in Guiyang.Seeing Xiao Shan was like suddenly seeing light in a dark night.The painful expression on his face was also swept away, he just said to Xiao Shan at that time: "Yunzhen, when we came out of Shanghai, we thought that the further we went, the more we would get out of trouble, but now we know that the Japanese's iron hooves are getting stronger and stronger. It’s getting closer. Even Hong Kong has become their world, so we had to flee to Yunnan, Guizhou and Sichuan. Now I am not afraid of the Japanese devils, but worried that some of our colleagues will not be able to survive this difficult life.” Seeing that he was in pain, Xiao Shan decided to stay with him by herself. She said: "Sir, don't be intimidated by the predicament in front of you. No matter how many difficulties you face, I will go to the national calamity with you." Ba Jin's frown eased, he didn't expect that the person he admired would suddenly come to him at such a critical moment.Although he was happy with Xiao Shan's arrival, he couldn't bear to think that she was still studying at university. He said, "Yunzhen, I'm glad you're here, but you can't give up your studies just because of me." Besides, you put in so much hard work to apply for Southwest Associated University, did you just give up halfway like this in the end?" Xiao Shan held his hand tightly and told him affectionately: "Sir, I will never leave you again. All these years I have always wanted to grit my teeth and persist until graduation, but when I heard that you are now surrounded by When there is no cook, I want to cry. Sir, think about it, what is the purpose of my studying so hard? Isn’t it for our future life? What's the use of getting a diploma in the future?" Ba Jin was silent.He stopped talking, he knew that Xiao Shan's words were not unreasonable, thinking of the long-distance running of love between him and her for eight years, and thinking of Xiao Shan's love for him from the bottom of his heart for many years, Ba Jin knew that he could no longer disobey her kindness.So he no longer refuted her, but nodded obediently to her gaze, and said, "Okay, since you have decided, let's get married here, shall we?" Xiao Shan has been looking forward to his words for many years.Now it's finally here.That night, Ba Jin invited her to a small restaurant by the Huaxi River.It is a small shop built by the stream, the mountain breeze blows gently, and the scenery of Huaxi in late autumn is quiet.Sitting in that small shop, Ba Jin listened to the gurgling sound of the nearby brook, and suddenly there was an unprecedented wave in his heart. In the past 30 years, Ba Jin has traveled almost all over half of China.He has experienced great changes in his family and the warmth and coldness of the world, but he has never received the tenderness of the opposite sex.Over the years, he has been determined to serve the country and the people and is willing to travel the world alone, and he has gone through many ups and downs.Now, after he was exhausted in every possible way, he finally welcomed Xiao Shan, whom he had admired for many years, by the bank of the famous Huaxi River in Guiyang. Ba Jin later recalled: "I still remember my life in Guiyang in May and June of 1944. Xiao Shan and I set off from Guilin in early May, and got married at 'Huaxi Xiaoxi' outside Guiyang on May 8th. .We didn't hold any ceremony, nor did we have a banquet. We just entrusted my brother to print and distribute a 'Travel Marriage' notice before leaving Guilin. We were lonely in Guiyang, but it was very quiet, and no one came to disturb us.' "Xiaoxi" is a hotel open to the public. It is a garden house built in a large park. There are no buildings and not many rooms. There are no guests in those days. There is no cafeteria here, and you have to walk for half an hour to eat breakfast. to a restaurant in town. . . . " The moonlit night in Huaxi is so beautiful.It's so quiet that it makes your heart beat. "Sir, have a drink!" Xiao Shan looked extraordinarily pure and beautiful that night.This daughter who has lived in the bustling Shanghai since she was a child has finally come together with the sweetheart in her heart.Since the time she met Ba Jin in 1936, Xiao Shan had made a secret promise in her heart for the rest of her life.She felt that Ba Jin was the one worthy of her infatuated pursuit and deep love, and also the one worthy of Xiao Shan's lifelong companionship.Today, Xiao Shan's long-cherished wish finally came true. Evening clouds gather to overflow the cold, Yin Han silently turned the jade plate. This life and this night are not good, Where will the bright moon look next year? The moon is looming in the clouds.The cool breeze in the middle of the night brought some coolness. That night, in the hostel near Huaxi, the windows were lit with lights that were never extinguished.A bright moon in the night sky is sprinkling its silver light on the gurgling stream.Waves and water shadows, and silver splendor reflect each other.Xiao Shan and Ba Jin didn't feel sleepy at all. They leaned close to the window, watching the moon shadow and mountain scenery of Huaxi, talking about life, ideals, and the past.In the sound of the gurgling stream, she followed Ba Jin into a dream world... Ba Jin talked about writing with her again, saying: "I learned to write novels in France. What I learned there is to integrate writing and life. I think the highest state of the work is the consistency of the two. I give my heart to readers. My novels are the result of my exploration in life, and one work after another is my harvest again and again. I leave my works to readers to judge. Yunzhen, you asked about my writing I can tell you now that when I write any book, I always want to stick to one principle, that is: don’t tell lies.” "Really?" Xiao Shan was deeply intoxicated.She was infected by his talk.I just heard Ba Jin say: "Of course, after I started writing abroad, in addition to French teachers, I also had Russian teachers A. Herzen, Turgenev, Tolstoy and Gorky. I later translated Tu Gniev's novels and "Virgin Land", translated Gorky's early short stories." "Sir, do you have plans to translate foreign masterpieces?" Xiao Shan was stunned. Ba Jin nodded solemnly: "Yes, I am also planning to translate Herzen's memoirs. I also like British Dickens; Japanese works by Natsume Soseki, Tayama Hanaburo, and Akutagawa Ryunosuke. Although I haven't learned Japanese yet, but I like the works of Japanese writers." Xiao Shan said: "I really didn't expect that Mr. Wang used foreign writers as models in his writing?" Ba Jin said: "No, my Chinese teacher is Lu Xun. My works are more or less influenced by these writers. But one of my main teachers is life, Chinese social life. My feelings in life make me When I became a writer, I couldn’t control the text at first, and there were many Europeanized sentences in my works. I wrote, studied, and revised, and I am still revising my own articles to this day. Leaving my old family is like dropping a terrible Shadow." Xiao Shan was fascinated by what she heard, and she was moved by Ba Jin's literary dream and lofty aspirations. Ba Jin continued to narrate his difficulties to his wife: "I ran from Shanghai to Paris, an unfamiliar place, at the age of 23. I wanted to find a way to save people, the world, and myself. It is a bit exaggerated to talk about saving people and the world, but it is true to talk about saving myself. The situation at that time was like this: I had feelings that I couldn’t express, and I had nowhere to vent my love and hatred. just can't survive." "Great!" Xiao Shan hugged him tightly, she felt that the combination with Ba Jin was the best destination in her life.That night they whispered in front of the window until late at night and until dawn.They both felt that there was so much they wanted to say to each other but didn't spit it out.The stream outside the window made noise in the quiet night, and the night gradually passed away in warmth. Decades later, when Ba Jin recalled his and Xiao Shan’s marriage in Guiyang, he wrote: “On the night of our wedding, we ordered a clear stewed chicken and two side dishes in a small restaurant in the town. After dinner calmly under the dim light, we walked back to the hotel. In the hotel, we talked about the past and the future in the dim light of a clear oil lamp. Our plan at the time was that Xiao Shan would travel to Sichuan , I went back to Guilin to continue writing, and arranged for our married life. We talked, talked, and felt peaceful and happy. There was no human voice around, but the stream flowed very fast, and there was the sound of water all night, loud and Monotonous. At that time, I didn't have any requirements for life. I just felt that I had a lot of energy and emotions and needed to consume them. I was going to write a few novels or novellas. We lived in Huaxi for two or three days, I lived in Guiyang for another two or three days. Then I bought a ticket for the postal car with a letter of introduction from my relatives. I sent Xiao Shan to the postal car, watched the car drive out of the parking lot and onto the road, and walked back slowly by myself. hostel.……" The scene in front of him was completely silent, and Ba Jin suddenly felt somewhat similar to the night of Huaxi that year.However, he searched all over the small empty building, but he could not find Xiao Shan's shadow. After a while, he found an old yellowed photo from a chest of drawers.It was a small photo taken by Xiao Shan in the 1960s.He held her photo in his hand and looked at it again and again.After a long while, a string of turbid old tears flowed down, dripping on Xiao Shan's smiling jade photo. Chapter 3 There is still haze within five steps There is still haze within five steps Don't be surprised by favor or disgrace, just watch the flowers bloom and fall in front of the court; ——Ming Chen Jiru: "Jingshiwen" A, however, to Ba Jin's surprise, on August 2 when he was still in Hangzhou, he suddenly heard the sad news from Shanghai: Ye Yiqun was actually criticizing the rebels. Zhong jumped down from upstairs and fell to his death on the spot! B, Ba Jin still walked up the stairs as before.Although not many people greeted him, he was already used to this cold atmosphere.When he was the main person in charge of the City Writers Association, those staff members who walked past him just now would take the initiative to smile at him and find something to say if they had nothing to say.Today, Ba Jin is no longer the Ba Jin of the past. C, Ba Jin, who has just returned to the Shanghai Writers Association from the meeting place of the Asian-African Writers Emergency Conference, has changed from a famous writer admired by everyone in the country to a black old K in Shanghai's literary and art circles. Of course, there is also a process of transformation . D, only when there is no one else, Ba Jin will walk under the two luxuriant magnolia trees in the yard alone.He went to the shade of the tree, of course not just to enjoy the cool air, only Ba Jin knew in his heart how deep his relationship with these two magnolia trees was?He is standing here thinking about the years that have already passed away, recalling the days when he and Xiao Shan were together.