Chapter 15 Nankai Love Story-May the past follow the wind

Cindy I knew that loving you was destined to be endless melancholy, but I didn't know how to take back my affection.I met you when I was the happiest, and my heart fluttered with the wind like a dandelion in autumn.Packing the past glory and loneliness, happiness and pain into my bag, I chose to let myself wander here, just because I heard that there are a group of people who like to make friends here, just because friends are the most precious part of my life at that time .I said to myself: "Bury the past, I will have a different start." So I started dreaming towards the sky: a high-spirited, free and unrestrained girl, doing what she wants to do, saying what she wants to say, and possessing the simplest happiness.That happiness is like the money in the money printing machine, which is inexhaustible and inexhaustible.Later, I thought that the happiness at that time was overdrawn by me.I thought I could want nothing, don't care about anything, live with nothing and still be proud of the world.

Until one day, I met you with the same deep heart and bright smile.I discovered an unreasonable familiarity and tacit understanding between each other, so I warned myself: Don't let your heart get too close, because happiness is the heaviest price of love, and I can't afford it. In the beginning, we only met each other because we were in the same club, and we gradually became familiar with each other. It was a bright day, talking and laughing with my friends, and walking on the avenue of Nankai campus with spring-like steps.The headphone cable in his hand flicked and circled, and suddenly hit a person.Turning around in embarrassment, what I saw was a smiling face, it was you.

"Like listening to music?" I nodded with a smile. "What kind do you like?" I thought about it, and answered: "I like both, rock and ballads..." So there was the first friendship. When we met again, I was shuttling through the classroom, laughing and laughing unscrupulously, and coughed a few times, and you were sitting in the corner, holding my favorite song in your hand, with a conniving smile in your eyes.I was like a spoiled child, so I unfolded myself in front of you, that season became the most beautiful season, all the days with you have my joy and smiling face.It feels so good to have friends to pamper!I told myself carefully, carefully maintained the distance from each other, and did not allow myself to have other thoughts.

But the heart is like a dandelion in autumn, floating with the wind. When I stand in front of the window, you go farther and farther, every time my heart beats, do you hear it?Time flies by like a white horse, rushing through every joy and sorrow. It's another brilliant day, I agreed with you to hand over something on the playground.Under the cold sky, I saw a group of energetic boys playing football, and the playground in the morning began to become steamy.Standing there silently, I found your figure and called out your name loudly. You heard my voice, and ran towards me with the sunshine behind you behind your back. "Good morning!" Seeing the joy on your face, I didn't know how to speak for a while, I stood there in a daze, hurriedly handed things into your hands, turned and walked away.I thought, it's over, when I meet such a sunny boy, I will be evaporated like dew.I was shocked by my powerlessness for a moment.

When I met you again, my heart was no longer as clear as it was at the beginning, and the seed began to grow wildly regardless of my protest. That day, my senior classmate was lazily strumming the guitar under the shade of a tree, and I was lazily squatting beside me flipping through the old books on the floor. The nostalgic feeling and the helplessness of leaving infected me.I don't know when I found that there is one more you beside me, and you are also lazily turning the scorching and lazy air in the afternoon.We smiled at each other and didn't even speak, and let the time flow away drop by drop.

Finally you said you were going to go to self-study, I nodded and watched you leave step by step, persistent and firm. A voice told me that the figure from behind does not belong to me.I know, we are like this, no one speaks, and then you will go away step by step, and then I will be addicted to it bit by bit. During those days, I often thought of Lixiang and Wanzhi.I think I must let myself always be the happiest in your heart, always with a bright smile, stepping on spring steps, and speaking witty words.The me in front of you will always be the best me, but melancholy spreads silently in my heart, because I have a hunch that for me, there will be a sad story between us.

Because, I no longer want nothing. I thought I was going to cry, but I didn't. I just stare blankly at your footsteps and give you my last blessing. I began to look forward to seeing you, but I no longer met you on the huge campus. Finally one day you came to me with something, and we met again.When I finished saying goodbye, I turned around to leave, and you gently pulled my sleeve and said that you would invite me to dinner later.I turned around and saw you smiling shyly.I waved and said: That's it!In a flash, I want to shake off the feeling of surpassing my friends, and also shake off my full expectations and fears.Then I panicked and let the days go away in the clouds and mist, and then there was no more.

Am I too proud?You said you didn't like proud girls.But we all know it's not. Your news comes from others from time to time, and there is also concern and concern for me, which touches my weakest string.I continue to indulge. This feeling of having nothing and having everything takes my breath away. So I started to flee.But no matter in the icy and snowy Northeast, or in the rural fields lined with green trees, when I step on the thick white snow under my feet and make a pleasant sound, when I ride and drift down the road and sing and sprinkle dust all the way, when I sit Looking at the people writhing crazily in the pool in the disco, when I was sitting alone in the empty classroom and wandering in the sky, your back view and your smile always stubbornly occupy my mind anytime and anywhere.

Not being able to escape your shadow is the greatest sorrow in my heart. I used to think that I was strong enough, but I found out that I was so fragile in my bones. I'm unquestionably decadent, not just because of you, of course.I became more and more silent in the crowd, unable to regain the pride and dreams of the past.Friends said, you are not as happy as before; friends also said, how did you become like this.I'm so worthless, my world is gray, and I'm tired of life again.Facing the people who love me, I can only feel guilty and unable to save myself.I said: give me time!Get back my youth and enthusiasm!I will still be me.

However, loving it once makes people age for decades. I spent one dull day after another amidst the turmoil, and my enthusiasm was lost in the flow of time. A year has passed.It's been another winter, warmer than the past few, but the wind is still raging, blowing dead leaves and dust all over the place.I am like a dead leaf that is blown by the wind, trampled by others and drifted away.Walking in the cold wind, walking through the pairs of couples downstairs in the dormitory, I think, everything between us is lost in the thick and faint emotions of the campus, and finally drifts away with the wind.

Finally one day, I know you have a girl of your own.But I didn't respond, I have learned to accept the reality silently.I just imagine you holding a girl's hand and walking on the campus. And that happy girl is not me.I started praying to God that I wouldn't run into you, or you, again.I'm afraid that my heart will hurt, I'm afraid that I don't know how to face it, I don't want you to see me like this. Everything is going on and I am speechless. It snowed unexpectedly.It's been a long time since I saw such a heavy snowfall. It covered the sky and covered the ground one after another, and the sky and the earth were instantly crystal clear.I was so moved that I looked at it stupidly, and a tear ran down my cheek.It's over, my gray days, my gray sky.I can no longer let myself go, I can no longer let everything destroy my self-confidence and my heart. There is nothing in the world, and nothing is disturbing. I know that young life does not allow too much sorrow.After this period of time, everything will be fine, and the missed youth will never come again. I don't know if I can be my best self, I just have to work hard. But no matter what, I will use my best heart and wish you the best you.