Chapter 2 Chapter 2 My name is Delan

a pure heart, It is easy to see Christ, among the hungry, among the naked among the homeless, among the lonely Among those no one wants, among those no one loves, Among the lepers, among the drunkards, Among the beggars lying in the streets. We must grow in love, For this we must love without ceasing, To give until it hurts. — Speech by Sister Durham My name is Delan On November 29, 1928, Gong Sha finally reached the end of the trip; the Lloyd Sisters General Assembly near Dublin, the capital of Ireland.This is the first time in her life to travel, and it is also the beginning of her career serving Christ.

Dublin is a beautiful harbor city on the picturesque east coast of Ireland with a population roughly three times the size of Skopje.In Las Farman, not far from Dublin, there is an old Victorian castle, which still looks solemn and fascinating.This is where Lloyd Abbey is located. The Lloyd Sisters were founded by an English girl named Hua Mary in the early 17th century. Therefore, this brand-new religious group was originally called "English girl" by some people.Marie Hua was born in an ancient noble family in Yorkshire, England. She is a woman with cutting-edge thinking, strong will and courage. The purpose of "British Girls" is to serve the less fortunate among young people, especially the poor girls living at the bottom of society, by running day schools for them.

However, under the social background at that time, it was very difficult for a purely female group without the leadership and participation of men to be recognized by the church and society.And Marie Hua's energetic and independent work style has made many people doubt and suspect them. Even some high-level clergy have written to the Pope to complain about them. The Pope's envoy also said that this kind of wrong Activities led by men are extremely dangerous in a declining social environment.Even those who sympathize with and support them show widespread concern and mistrust of them.A well-known Jesuit priest at the time said: "Their ideas are good, but they are women after all."

But Hua Mali is very stubborn, and no doubt or slander can make her give up her faith. The history of the founding of the Sisters of Lloyd, therefore, is like a plaintive drama, full of tears and lamentations.But when the times developed to the beginning of the 20th century, things unexpectedly changed fundamentally. In 1909, the Holy See finally lifted the ban on this congregation, and publicly recognized Hua Marie as the founder. On November 29, 1928, after a long journey, 18-year-old Gong Sha finally walked into the gate of Lloyd Abbey as she wished, and put on the long-awaited black and white nun dress.Gong Sha, who just arrived, immediately felt that this is a vibrant group.The same is true.At the beginning of the founding of the association, according to the social situation at that time, Hua Marie put forward the educational theory of teaching according to the person, entertaining and opposing the stereotypes, and their missionary work is very famous, especially in India.

Gongsha first needs to receive language training, which is to learn English, although she can speak fluent Albanian, Croatian and Serbian.But at that time, India was a British colony. If you want to work in India, you must learn English. In the eyes of her peers, the new Albanian girl was shy, taciturn and unsociable.In fact, this is not surprising, because Gong Sha couldn't understand a word of English.But Gong Sha is very smart and hardworking. She studied quickly and passed the exam soon. Years later, when Sister Delam's charitable cause spread all over the world, a Dublin nun recalled the scene and said: "It is worth noting that she is normal." This was considered the best for Gong Sha at that time Approved.

Time passed quickly, and six months later, Gong Sha was sent to the Darjeeling branch in India for beginners before she had time to fully adapt to the life at Lloyd Abbey.In a Catholic religious order, a nun generally has to go through the training process of preparation, congregation, initial study, first vow and revival. Located at the foot of the Himalayas at an altitude of 2,000 meters, Darjeeling is a resort for vacation and recuperation.When Gong Sha began her sacred monastic life in this quiet snow-capped valley, the British working in India and the nobles of Bengal often came here to escape the summer heat and miasma. British aristocratic leisure life.In the deep valley of Darjeeling, there is also a commercial road leading to China's Tibet, so Indian businessmen often come here for business trips.

I'm leaving, this is the beginning of Gong Sha's journey in the second half of her life.The dean and nuns gathered in the church to pray for Gong Sha's journey.Gong Sha knelt quietly in front of the altar, accepting the dean's blessing.The dean said, "You are about to go to Darjeeling, India, for a beginner, to show a break with your past life. You want to take a new name, Gong Sha, what new name do you want to take?" Gong Sha immediately thought of Saint Teresa.Little Teresa is the patron saint of the missionaries, and she is also a role model that Gong Sha plans to follow throughout her life.Gong Sha thought, since I aspire to be a missionary, I am even more eager to live out the love of our Lord with all my life's efforts like the little saint.Well, my name will be Theresa.That's right, I'm going to be called Theresa.So Gong Sha raised her head and said to the dean, "Delan, my name is Delan."

The dean smiled and said with infinite kindness: "Very well, let's take this name. From now on, you will be Mother Teresa." Gong Sha chose the name of Saint Teresa, which means that she chose Delan as her lifelong spiritual mentor. Little Teresa: "My vocation is love" We should all have a basic understanding of the people who deeply influenced Mother Teresa, so I would like to introduce Saint Teresa in particular. Little Teresa is a hermit nun of the Carmelite Order in France. On January 2, 1873, Teresa was born in an unusually pious Catholic family. Before they got married, both parents had aspirations to enter a monastery, but they failed to do so.Little Teresa is the youngest daughter of her parents. She has 4 older sisters.This pair of devout parents dedicated their five daughters to Christ—the eldest sister Mary, the second sister Pauline, and the fourth sister Celine are all nuns in the Carmelite Monastery. See you and practice Taoism.Little Teresa was very devout since she was a child. When she was 9 years old, her second sister Pauline (whom Teresa called her "little mother" and "double-layered loving mother") was called into the Carmelite monastery.At that time, the vocation began to germinate in the young heart of Teresa. At the age of 14, Teresa went on a pilgrimage to Rome with her father. When she met Pope Leo XIII, Teresa boldly made an extraordinary request to the Pope, that is, to allow her to join the congregation at the age of 15, although the Pope There was no clear answer to her, and the church refused her to join any order before the age of 21, but Teresa joined the Order of Our Lady of the Carmelite at the age of 15.

After joining the congregation, little Teresa named herself baby Jesus Teresa, her original name was: Martin? Mary Francis Therese. In this small monastery, Teresa lived for only 9 years as a hermit nun who prayed for priests and missionaries. On September 30, 1897, Teresa died of illness at the age of 24. Unbelievably, little Teresa, who was unknown during his lifetime, caused a sensation all over the world after his death.Twenty-eight years after her death, in May 1925, the Holy See solemnly declared her a saint.Prior to this, the Holy See had received more than 200,000 applications for her canonization.two years later.She was also appointed as the protector of the universal evangelism, and France even regarded her as the second protector of France, as famous as Joan of Arc.She is also known as "the light of the atomic nuclear age", "the greatest saint of the contemporary era", "the greatest panacea of ​​the contemporary era", "the angel of comfort", "the saint of love", and more people affectionately call her She is "Saint Teresa". In 1997, on the 100th anniversary of her death, the Church of Rome listed her as one of the Four Great Female Saints and honored her as one of the greatest spiritualists, believing that she had initiated a magnificent spiritual practice Revolution, Pope John Paul II even wanted her parents to be posthumously saints.

Little Teresa humbly called herself "Jesus' little flower" when she was alive.This "little flower of Jesus" was ordinary in life, but won "hurricane glory" after death. We can see this mystery in a thin little book. This autobiography titled "A Little History of the Spiritual Mind" (also translated into "A Little White Flower" and "Memoirs") is the first book by Dean Ying (that is, Delan's second sister Pauline) after Xiao Delan fell seriously ill. It was a custom of the Carmelite Order at that time, that is, after the death of a nun in the order, the order should print the life, words and deeds of the nuns into written village materials, and donate them to other sister orders.It was for this purpose that the dean asked Delan to write this spiritual history.

The autobiography was finally published on September 30, 1898, a year after Therese's death.The first edition of 2,000 copies sold out immediately, and was quickly reprinted.Soon, translations in other languages ​​appeared, and "A Little History of the Spiritual Mind" began to spread around the world.Up to now, "A Little History of the Spiritual Mind" has been translated into more than 60 languages ​​all over the world, with countless readers.Even, a century after its publication, this little book still tops the religious book charts everywhere. This result was completely unexpected to the nuns.This little book was written on a hospital bed.This little book written in a notebook will move all the nuns and monks, and then deeply move everyone who is lucky enough to read this book, and make every reader be able to learn from her timeless and pure words. , truly feel the love and greatness of the Lord, and even more truly feel that she, Little Teresa, is just a nameless flower, but she is still blooming beautifully in the mercy of the Lord. The church even believes that Teresa's autobiography has opened up a "divine path" to enlighten the world, that is, to be a little baby in spirituality.Surrender yourself completely and completely to the Lord, and trust in the Lord with all your heart.From the perspective of people who pursue spiritual life, this article. The "Baby Way" is undoubtedly a new path of modern spiritual practice. Mr. Wu Jingxiong, a Chinese scholar, even thought after reading (Little History of the Spiritual Mind) that this thin little book contains the essence of Confucianism, Buddhism, and Taoism.Little Teresa possesses the sincerity of Confucianism, the detachment of Taoism, and the compassion of Buddhism.Why is there such a wonderful fusion?He thought it was because Jesus was the Word.Therefore, all the truths in ancient and modern China and abroad could not be Tao, could they be Jesus.Since the saint has a deep and close connection with Jesus, it is natural that her words and movements are all Tao. And love—love of God, love of mankind, and love in turn. "Love" itself is the whole mystery of De Lan's "Tao".Therefore, the church believes that before Teresa, people were only offering sacrifices to the righteousness of the Lord, and being a sacrifice of Jesus' love was a great revelation from Teresa.There is no doubt that Teresa was a genius of love.In this regard, Mr. Wu Jingxiong also wrote: All the misfortunes of modern civilization are that people love science too much, but they don't love science too much. Let me share with you a few paragraphs from Derain's book, she wrote "The Science of Love. Ah, this sentence echoes in the ears of my soul, it is sweet. I don't want anything else, I Just this, like the spouse in Song of Songs, I give everything for love and feel like I gave nothing." "Let us make our hearts a paradise, where our dear Savior may rest; let us plant in this garden pure lilies. For we are virgins... and let us not forget that virginity is Give up completely all worldly troubles: not only useless troubles, but all troubles." "The great saints glorify the Father with great deeds, but as for me, I am a small soul, and I only want to make Him happy. I hope that I am a small flower in the hands of the Father, a A rose that is useless, but whose sight and fragrance pleases the heart of the Father, and adds a little joy to the Father." "Without love, all deeds, even those that are astonishing, are nothing. Jesus does not ask us to do great things, but only asks us to give ourselves completely to Him, to rely on Him, and to be gracious to Him. Since I am small , do not focus on other things, but focus on loving God and sacrificing yourself, and present these flowers to the Heavenly Father, so that the Heavenly Father will be pleased." "I'm just a tiny soul. The Father has blessed me with grace—I can't be proud. Look at how many treetops at dusk today are gilded by the setting sun. My soul is the same, it It is bright and golden because it is bathed in the radiance of love, but if the divine sun does not shine, it is immediately plunged into darkness." When Teresa was only 15 years old, she wrote this text: "Love is omnipotent; the most impossible things are easy and sweet in the eyes of love. You must know that our The Lord doesn’t care much about whether our deeds are great or not, or even whether our deeds are difficult or not. He only pays attention to the passion of love in our deeds. So, what do we have to fear?” She also wrote: "If I were rich, it would be impossible to see a poor hungry man without immediately giving him some of my possessions. Likewise, I have earned spiritual wealth, and I immediately think of those who are falling. Souls in danger of going to hell, I give them all I have, and never for a moment can I say: Now I'm going to do something for myself." "True love is to be able to endure all the shortcomings of others, not to blame others for their weaknesses, but to be grateful for others' small virtues and small deeds. Especially I understand that love should not be buried in the bottom of my heart, because no one will A lamp is lit in a bucket, and it is placed on a lampstand so that those who come in can see the light. This light represents love. Love cannot only be given to those we love, it must illuminate the whole house, making everyone feel joy." Little Teresa was completely liberated because she was willing to be a captive of love. She was as free as a bird in the sky, and nothing could restrain her mind.She wrote: "It's impossible. I shouldn't be bothered if Heavenly Father himself can't see the many good things I do. I love Him so much that I will use my love and little Self-sacrifice, making him happy without letting him know I did it, because he sees and knows I did it, and it's as if he has to reward me...I don't want to put him in trouble." "I hope that no one will notice me. I would like to be trampled underfoot and forgotten like a grain of sand. My beloved Lord, I dedicate myself to you, and I hope that you can realize your holy will in me, No creature can prevent its practice." When disclosing her feelings, she said: "In my heart, I kept hearing Jesus' dying cry, "I am thirsty." This cry ignited a very lively fire of love in my heart, and I was willing to quench the thirst of the lovely Jesus. "If my roses should be picked from thorns, I would still sing. The longer the thorns grow, the more beautiful my songs will be." Once, a nun said to Little Teresa: "They all say you have never suffered much." Little Teresa smiled and pointed to a glass full of bright red potion and said, "People will think that it contains the most beautiful But it is bitterer than any drug I have ever taken. This is the picture of my life. It is all rose-colored to others, and they imagine that I have drunk the most delicious wine, But in myself, it is all bitterness. I say bitterness, but there is no sorrow in my life, because I have learned to find joy in all bitterness." After Teresa became seriously ill, she couldn't sleep many nights.Once, the nun who took care of her said to her: "What are you doing? You should try to sleep well." Little Teresa replied: "I can't, I am in great pain, and all I can do is pray." The nun asked her: " What did you say to Jesus?" Teresa replied, "I don't say anything, I just love him." In the few months before his death, Teresa also said something like this: "If the heavenly father said to me: If you die now, your glory will be great; if you live to die at the age of 80, your The glory is much less, but I prefer you to live to be 80. Hey, I will say to the Father without hesitation: My Lord, I am willing to die at 80, because I do not seek my own glory, but only Your joy." "My only joy is to love you, and it doesn't matter whether I live or die." A few days before Teresa died, the sisters talked to her about the grace and blessings in heaven in order to comfort her, but Teresa said: "It is not heaven that attracts me, but love. To love the Lord, and Be loved by God, and then come back to the world to make people love 'love'." She also said: "I feel that my mission is about to begin... I want to use the years I spend in heaven to benefit the world ... No, I will never rest until the end of heaven and earth." When a nun asked Teresa to allow her to mourn the death of Teresa, Teresa scolded: "Then you are mourning my happiness." Before dying, De Lan wrote the last four words in his notebook: trust and love.Then he uttered the last words, the words that shocked and enlightened countless posterity: "I will not die, I am entering life." In Delan's view, suffering is happiness, falling is rising, smallness is greatness, tenderness is strength; being alive is leaving home, and leaving this world is returning home. Love is true love, there is no love. Joy is great joy.And her Shenying Xiaodao is just a veritable broad road. Pope Pius X said of Theresa Teresa that the center of her holiness was to fulfill God's call "in ordinary things" willingly, generously and persistently.When a priest said that there was nothing special about little Teresa's life, Bi Yue X said: The most special thing about this little soul is her special simplicity. Indeed, the greatness of Little Teresa lies in her willingness to be "small" and her ability to be "small".She once said, "As long as it is done for the Lord, even picking up a needle is valuable." "I admit that the Almighty King has indeed done great things to me, and one of the greatest things is to make me feel Own incompetence, own insignificance." Little Teresa became a great saint within the framework of ordinary life, and the message she conveyed to us is: no matter how ordinary, trivial, and meaningless life is, no matter how small and insignificant we feel, we can still live in a small place. Sanctification inside the box.Because God is in each of us, no one is ordinary and worthless.Everyone comes from God's unique creation, and then returns to Him in a unique way. "My vocation is love," this is the oath of Teresa when she joined the Carmelites.This oath later became the code of conduct for Sister Delam, and also became a great portrayal of her benevolent life. Later in this book, we will see, the "smallness" that Mother Delam chose, the response of Mother Delam to Jesus' cry "I thirst", the life that Delam lived with actions (serving the poor). The love of God she expressed, and the simple path of complete trust and absolute obedience she walked, were all learned by her spiritual teacher, St. Teresa in that remote Carmelite monastery.However, Sister Durham took a more practical and realistic approach.She is not only a lover of prayer, but also a lover of action. Mrs. Garth once said: Love is the shortest road to God.Whether it is Saint Theresa Teresa or Sister Teresa, they all walked the same path—the shortest path to God. Calcutta, hell for the poor Mother Durham will soon be leaving for Calcutta, the city she has loved all her life, and where she has served Christ, and where her work of love began.Therefore, before she arrives in Calcutta, it is necessary for us to understand the city and the caste system in India.Because, apart from the war and historical reasons, the poverty that makes Mother Teramun restless all his life is related to this system to some extent. Since ancient times, the Indian tradition has divided the people into four parts. Caste, that is, four levels: one is Brahmin, that is, monks and teachers; the second is Kshatriya, that is, warriors and soldiers; the third is Vaisya, that is, merchants, landlords, herdsmen, and moneylenders; Ro.In addition, there are palias who are not worthy of being included in the caste, that is, untouchables, including butchers and shoemakers.Moreover, there are strict boundaries between caste and caste that cannot be crossed.There is only one reason for a thousand people to change their caste in their lifetime, and that is to be expelled from their caste and become a pariah because of punishment, but there is no possibility of becoming another caste, even if he strives to be good all his life.The reason for the punishment may just be a dinner with someone from a lower caste, or a religious ceremony. Therefore, the untouchables living at the bottom of society will never be able to raise their heads.No matter how hard they try, they can only be untouchables.Moreover, they are not free to choose their occupations, they can only engage in the work handed down from their ancestors.Because these jobs are regarded as lowly and unclean, and only suitable for untouchables. In Hinduism, cows are regarded as sacred objects and worshiped.The untouchables are considered filthy because they have to touch the "sacred cowhide" (butchering, shoemaking, etc.).Unclean.For this reason, they are called "The Untouchables".It was a horrible and insulting title which completely cut them off from the rest of the caste.They are not entitled to drink the sweet water of the spring, but only the sewage.They can't go into the store to shop, they can only stand groveling at a distance waiting for the clerk to throw the item at them.Can't go to court, have no right to go to school, etc.Even if the shadow of a pariah casts on a piece of food, the piece of food can only be thrown away, not even the dogs of noble families can eat it. Even so, the untouchables never resisted, let alone struggled, not even complained and angry, because their religion told them that it was the result of their "sins" in previous lives.If you want to change, you can only wait patiently for the afterlife.And those who live in the middle and upper classes of the society live a life of luxury and luxury in the poverty, misery and patience of the untouchables, but they will not feel uneasy or ashamed because of it.Because in their view, it is the result of their "accumulated virtues" in previous lives. It is precisely because of this situation that Sister Delam later made a very important point: human lack of love is the root cause of world poverty, and poverty is the result of our refusal to share with others.Since everything in the world comes from the gift of God, and all people are equal before God, when someone is struggling in hunger and poverty, the rich have no right to control their excess wealth alone. The great prince Sakyamuni, because he felt all kinds of suffering in the world, including this extreme inequality, established a religion that everyone is equal before the Buddha (that is, before the gods) and even all living beings are equal after practicing enlightenment. He said: "There is no distinction of caste in blood and tears." Although Buddha's teachings later spread throughout Southeast Asia and even other parts of the world, the powerful Brahmins made Buddhism almost extinct in India.In the 20th century, Mahatma Gandhi also ran around for the rights of the "untouchables". He declared that the "untouchables" were "the favored sons of heaven". If the insulting title of "untouchables" does not disappear, then Hinduism must disappear.Indian Prime Minister Nehru, who was born in the noble Brahmin caste, even wrote the abolition of "untouchables" into the constitution in order to eliminate this level of evil.But in fact, social discrimination has not disappeared because of these extraordinary efforts, and the untouchables still live in the extreme darkness of inequality. One must also say something about farmers.Farmers make up the vast majority of India's population, and although they are included in the caste - the fourth caste - more than half of them do not own land.The big landowners enjoy all the benefits and are exempt from taxes.Farmers earned little but had to pay taxes, even under British rule.As taxpayers, farmers basically do not enjoy any services from the government, because most of the taxes are spent in the UK.At first, Britain imported textiles from India, but after the British Industrial Revolution, India became Britain's raw material base and product sales market, which made the rural handicraft industry in India almost extinct.The introduction of Wangye's technology only solved the employment problem of a small number of people, and the competition of excess labor force made the wages of workers extremely low. In fact, India is not a country lacking in resources, but wars and historical problems have made long-term poverty hard to recover, and the caste system has largely restricted India's development process. After the outbreak of World War II, as soon as Britain entered the war, India was naturally involved in the flames of war.The ships normally used to transport rice were requisitioned by the army, which further cut off the food supply of the already undersupplied cities.The war also caused a large number of refugees to flood into the city, especially Calcutta. Hundreds of thousands of refugees fled in every year, which made the already densely populated city even worse. The crowded streets and alleys were full of sewage, garbage and The convenience, coupled with the humid and rainy climate, made the city filthy and miserable.The poor refugees, because they couldn't afford the expensive rent, had to live in the open air on the street.Eat and drink in the open air, give birth and die; children play on the garbage dump, and mothers breastfeed in the garbage dump; drink water from the gutter, eat food picked or begged, and even more terrible Yes, people suffering from various diseases can be seen everywhere. They crawl on the side of the street, and many people lie on the corner of the street and no one cares about them. Every day, one or two thousand people die of illness and starvation. Before long, the war was over.But in India after the war, the disasters did not stop. In 1946, Mahatma Gandhi achieved India's independence non-violently.However, due to different religious beliefs, fierce conflicts occurred between Muslims and Hindus in India. In July 1946, Muhammad Hari Jinnah called on his fellow Muslims to take "direct action" and a terrible riot broke out between Muslims and Hindus.The hostile sides hacked and killed each other and set fire to each other on the street, causing corpses to pile up on the street and blood to flow like rivers.And the vultures and vultures flying from the suburbs openly rested on the roof in groups, staring at the unburied corpse eagerly.About 12,000 people died in this riot, and more people died of disease and hunger during the riot. In order to quell this terrible riot, the old Gandhi had to go to Calcutta to deliver a speech of resistance. In August 1947, the British left India and India finally gained independence, the result of years of hard work by Mahatma Gandhi.However, after independence, India was artificially divided into two countries: Pakistan in the west and India in the east.Mahatma Gandhi opposed division. He emphasized that both Hindus and Muslims can coexist peacefully like brothers.But his followers supported separatism, believing that Hindus and Muslims could not coexist peacefully. The division caused India to lose its rich agricultural base and food shortages.And Pakistan has lost the foundation of its royal industry, and its raw materials must be exported to India for processing.Moreover, the countries after independence are not of a single faith, which has led to Muslims in India running to Pakistan in the west, and Hindus in Pakistan to India in the east.In just a few months in the second half of 1947, more than 10 million people were constantly fleeing in this way-and millions of refugees flooded into Calcutta. This chaos inevitably led to The atrocities continued.It was not until the assassination of Mahatma Gandhi on January 3, 1948 that this great tragedy made the public begin to recover their lost sanity. In this extreme chaos, the situation in Calcutta can be described as tragic. Its slums are so many and dirty that they are famous all over the world, so that Nehru called it "the city of nightmares". To this day, people living on the streets can still be seen on the streets of Calcutta. When Mr. Li Jiatong, the president of Jingyi University in Taiwan, visited the Missionary Sisters of Charity in November 1994, he saw a child scooping water in the gutter. Drink water, wash your face and mouth with water from the gutter; there are two little boys who sleep at the door of the hotel where he stays every night. The two brothers cover a piece of cloth together. The elder brother is only about 3 years old, and the younger brother is naturally younger.Mr. Li Jiatong said that these children.Many have never been able to walk into any house in their entire lives, and may not even drink a sip of clean water in their entire lives. her anxiety grows The two-year elementary school is over. On May 24, 1931, Mother Durham took her first vows and was then sent to teach at St. Mary's Secondary School in the Entlai community of Calcutta. According to the canon of the Catholic Church, to become a nun who serves Christ for life, she must take the vow twice.The first time is temporary, and the second time is a lifelong vow. After traveling 400 kilometers south from tranquil Darjeeling, Mumu Delam finally stood in the hustle and bustle of Kolkata.This is the city she has missed deeply since she was 15 years old. When she finally arrived on this day and stood on the street, what did she see?Perhaps it can only be summed up in two words: miserable, and very miserable. The homeless prowl the streets: the sick, the maimed, the abandoned, the hungry, and the dying.Although a few years ago, when she was still in Skopje, Sister Delam had a general understanding of the situation here from the letters of the missionaries, but the feeling of being there was completely different, and she was deeply shocked up. But turning this shock into action is not an easy task.The young Mother Teresa still needs to spend more than ten years waiting and preparing.This is a long process, but it is necessary and indispensable. St. Mary's Secondary School is a well-known girls' school founded by the Laureate Sisters. There are more than 200 students in the school, all of whom are healthy and lively rich ladies from the upper-middle class in Bangladesh. Mother Durham was assigned to teach geography and history, while she began learning Hindi and Bengali. The students love her class.She is kind, gentle, with a good sense of humor and simple joy, and her innate love and kindness to others makes her naturally attractive.The nuns had to admit that she cared for everyone, but she had a special way with the children. In May 1937, Mother Delam returned to Darjeeling and declared her lifelong vow, that is, she swore to be a nun for a lifetime. In 1944, she was promoted to principal. Throughout her 17-year teaching career, Mother Delam has fully demonstrated her talent in management.From an ordinary teacher to the director of the academic affairs department, and then to the principal, she has completed all the management courses, which prepared her for successfully creating and leading a huge organization in the future. But the nuns all believe that her real talent and ability lie in her friendliness and concern for people, that is to say, she leads a team not by management and the resulting system, but by her friendship .Later, when our beloved Mother Duran talked about some social issues, she said a famous sentence. She said: "Modern people are lost in the system." Indeed, our dependence on the system has far exceeded dependence on the Lord.and dependence on the love of humanity. In this elite school, she cares about everyone, and everyone returns her the same respect and love, but her inner insecurity is growing day by day.She thought: "I know my work is very important, but what have I done to help those who are suffering, to alleviate their pain? I came here to serve the poor, but I have been serving the rich." Is it true that what I am doing now is what God wants me to do?" In the silent night, Sister Delam asked herself over and over again.She also knelt before the altar and prayed.She told her Lord that she couldn't pretend not to see the people who were dying in the streets, couldn't pretend not to see the people whose bodies were covered in ants and whose limbs were eaten by rats, she couldn't pretend not to see that. longing to get out of the high wall The high walls of the monastery divided Calcutta into two very different worlds.Inside the high walls are flowers and green grass, beauty and grace, nobility and decency, safety and comfort, while outside the high walls are chaos, wandering, poverty, sickness, hunger, thirst and death. In a film about the life of Sister Delam, the director used a set of sharply contrasting shots to show the audience that these two worlds are completely different: inside the high walls, in the palace-like monastery church, wearing red priests的神父正在住持主日弥撒，唱诗班的女孩们一身洁白，像天使一样，用清纯的嗓音唱着优美的圣歌。在美妙的圣歌声中，修女们开始排队领受圣体——一小片被祝福过的面饼，代表耶稣的身体，意为生命之粮，是表示与基督结合的一种圣事，而高墙外，在杂乱的污水横流的街道上，是随处可见的匍匐在地的病人和垂死者，是奄奄一息的孩童和孤苦无助的母亲，是殴打、喊叫和呻吟，以及一群饥馑的等待施舍的穷人。他们也在排队。 而在现实生活里——在我们的内心深处，还有一道我们的眼睛看不见的高墙，我们在这道高墙内吃喝玩乐，心安理得，假装这个世界没有悲惨，或者，假装看不见这个世界的悲惨。针对这种冷漠——这道人内心里的高墙，李家同先生写道“让高墙倒下吧，只要高墙倒下，我们就可以有一颗宽广的心，有了宽广的心，我们会看见世上不幸的人，也会听到他们哀求'我渴'。看见了人类的不幸，我们会有炽热的爱。有了炽热的爱，我们会开始替不幸的人服务。”因此，修道院的生活越是舒适，姆姆内心的不安就越是强烈。于是她请求院长允许她利用业余时间出去帮助那些可怜的人们。她说：“他们都是上主亲爱的儿女，他们也有权享受上主的恩赐。我要把上主的爱带给他们。” 院长同意了。于是，德兰姆姆带着她所能找到的一些可能对穷人有用的东西：一些食物，一些阿司匹林，一些绷带和碘酒，走上了加尔各答的街头，有时她亲自动手帮他们包扎伤口，把食物和药品递到他们手上，而有时她只是和他们说说话。但这些再简单不过的举动，却深深地感动了那些身在苦难中的人们，他们说，单是看到德兰修女微笑的脸，以及她棕色眼睛里闪烁的爱，他们就很满足了。他们并不需要很多。 他们的满足又反过来深深地打动了德兰姆姆，使她深感自己做得太少太少，而他们是那样需要关爱，需要帮助。渐渐地，她不再满足于只是工作之余出去看望他们了，她希望自己能为他们做得更多一些，尤其是，当她在傍晚时分，从街头或贫民区回到舒适优雅的修道院时，她内心的不安就更加强烈，以至于彻夜不眠。 有一回，德兰姆姆从外面带回来24个女孩子，打算教她们读书。但这些在街头流浪惯了的小女孩，根本就不习惯修道院的安静和整洁，竟然集体逃跑了。这件事给姆姆极大的震动，使她再一次意识到：如果要为穷人服务，就必须走出这道高墙，把自己变成一个穷人。否则，这种服务就成了一种居高临下的施舍——谁会喜欢那种被施舍的感觉呢？ 但是，她还必须等待上主的指引和召唤。 在德兰姆姆看来，这个神圣的工作，并不是她的工作，而是上主的工作。因此，她必须要等待上主的指引，并完全顺服子上主的安排。德兰姆姆渴望走出修道院的高墙，去为穷人服务，但并不意味着她否定高墙内的修道生活。恰恰相反，在她看来，无论是高墙内的潜心修道，还是高墙外的全心服侍，都是捧给耶稣的一碗解渴的水。 爱无界限 就在这时候，第二次世界大战爆发了。战争使印度陷入有史以来最严重的饥荒，大概有500万人在这场饥荒中丧失了生命。 德兰姆姆就是在这时升任校长的，在这样的大环境里，即便是高墙内的圣玛丽中学，日子也相当难过，首先，食物的限额配给所带来的食物短缺，就是一个难以解决的难题。而身为校长，姆姆有责任保护全校师生，使大家免于饥饿。 然后是那场发生在印度教徒和回教徒之间的暴乱——回教徒称那一天为“直接行动日”。而劳莱德修道院和圣玛丽中学，就处在那场暴乱的中心地带。 这天下午，德兰姆姆上完课，刚从教室出来，卡培拉修女就急匆匆地迎上来说：“校长，我们已经有两星期没有食物补给了，现在厨房里一粒米都没有了。” 姆姆不相信地赶到厨房，她问厨师：“真的什么吃的都没有了吗？” 厨师立即回答道：“是的，校长，什么吃的都没有了，一粒米都没有了。” 外面的暴乱还没有结束，但姆姆必须出去筹借粮食，因为有200个学生在挨饿。 姆姆是与卡培拉修女一起出去的。她们刚走到一家粮店门口，迎面就来了一群暴动的群众，人们挥舞着棍棒刀斧，喊叫着，像惊涛骇浪一样涌过来，姆姆惶恐极了，她慌忙拉着卡培拉修女退避到街角。幸亏这时来了两个英国军官——他们恰好开车经过这里。看到姆姆和卡培拉，他们吃惊地问：“修女，你们在这里干什么？” 姆姆回答说：”我们在找粮食。” 英国军官先是一愣，尔后哈哈地笑道：“粮食？现在满街都只剩下秃鹫的粮食了。”说着，他们还是热心地帮助姆姆弄了两袋大米，并开车送她们回去。 暴乱的群众刚过去，几乎是转瞬之间，又涌来了一群饥饿的难民。他们围在车子周围，追着车子跑。每个人都把枯瘦的手伸到姆姆面前，乞求她的帮助，他们喊叫着：“求求你，修女，帮帮我！”有个女人举着一个骨瘦如柴的小婴儿，朝姆姆喊：“求你给我一点米，喂我的孩子，求你，修女！” 姆姆痛苦极了。她天性敏感善良，有一颗最柔软也最容易受伤的心。而且这种情形不仅使她难过，更使她羞愧。她当修女的目的就是为了替穷人服务，而现在她却无法帮助他们。最后，她不得不用双手捂住了自己的脸。 英国军官频频地向空中开枪，这才勉强开辟出一条窄路，把姆姆和卡培拉修女送回了修道院。 就在这时，一个在暴乱中被打伤的青年，突然翻过修道院的高墙。“砰”地一声倒在了草地上。正在草地上做课间活动的女孩们被吓坏了，她们惊恐地尖叫着往教室里跑，德兰姆姆以最快的速度把青年送到了医务室。他的伤口血流如注。修女要姆姆按住他的伤口帮他止血。这时候，姆姆敏感柔软的心又一次被深深地刺伤了，她痛苦地闭上眼睛喊道：“我是个地理老师啊。” 也许，就是在这个时候，姆姆悟到了什么叫“爱，直到成伤”。德兰姆姆的坚强并不是天生的，当她还是圣玛丽中学的一名老师的时候，她虽然有一颗无比仁慈的心，但她也跟我们一样，不敢平静地面对流血、伤口，和那些使人感到恐惧的贫病交加的身体，也不敢面对这个世界的丑陋和黑暗，她的眼睛只凝视神——那是美善和光明的所在。但后来，她却成了一个身体并不十分强壮但精力永远旺盛的行动家，一个依然容易受伤但意志过人的领导者——一个世间生物与超凡灵魂的罕见混合体。 她是凭借什么达成的呢？pray. 姆姆说，是祈祷使她达到了这种“人间与天堂的适当平衡”。在圣洁之路上前行时，她所依靠的，是“上主和我自己——上主的恩宠和我的意志”。 这种借由祈祷所达成的平衡，使德兰姆姆成了这样一个人：既有敏锐善感的心思，又有慷慨热切的行动；既容易受伤，又保持坚强；既极度入世，又沉静内思；既细腻入微地照看这一个，又宽阔持久地顾全整体；既有坚强的个人意志，又完全彻底地顺服上主。 这对现代的信仰者——无论是哪种宗教的信仰者，都是非常有启示意义的。德兰姆姆在生前就被许多人称为“活圣人”，大概就跟她的这种“平衡”有关，因为这是一个在现代生活中越来越受到赞美的品质，也是现代人越来越需要的一个品质。 青年流血不止，姆姆努力地按压他的伤口，直到出血被止住。 晚饭的时间到了。但姆姆一口也吃不下。她默默地走进教堂，在第一排中间的位置上坐下，然后闭上眼睛，开始祈祷。 这时，神父走了进来，他对姆姆说：“我就知道你在这儿，我可以和你谈一谈吗？” 这是一次极其重要的谈话。之后，德兰姆姆就去大吉岭退隐了。而上主的指引就是在退隐的途中来到的。 神父说：“听卡培拉修女说，出去真叫人不愉快。”姆姆说：“不只是不愉快，我更觉得羞愧。” 神父说：“羞愧？你是为了正当理由才出去的呀。” 姆姆说：“神父，我看到那么多的孩子在挨饿，却没有帮助他们。” 神父安慰道：“你带粮食回来并不是为了你自己，而是为了我们的孩子啊！” 姆姆问：“难道外面的孩子就不是孩子吗？神父，而且他们比我们更饥饿。” 神父回答说：“但我们的首要任务是照顾修道院和我们的孩子。” 姆姆低下头，悲伤地问神父：“为什么会是这样呢？上主怎么会只要我关心这里的孩子，而对外面的孩子不闻不问呢？上主一定也关心墙外的人们吧？” 神父没有立刻回答姆姆，他沉默了一会儿，然后说：“目前我们的压力都太大了，我和院长商量过，我们认为你应该提前退隐一段时间，你需要在静思中重新找回工作的喜悦。” 姆姆想了想，点点头同意了。然后她去看望孩子们。在她离开的时候，一个叫苏妮塔的学生走过来问她：“修女，有几个年龄大的女孩说我们不应该照顾受伤的回教徒，因为他们是暴力的起源。” 姆姆慈祥地摸了摸苏妮塔红润的脸，笑了一下，然后坚定地说：“谁需要我们帮助，我们就帮助谁，不管他是回教徒，还是印度教徒。因为每个人——不管他是谁，在上主眼中都是一样的，都是由同一双慈爱的手创造的，苏妮塔，你要永远记住这一点。” 爱无界限。 这是德兰姆姆思想的核心，是她终生持守的立场和原则，也是我们认识和理解她的精神指南。在姆姆看来，不管你信仰什么宗教，也不管你有没有宗教信仰，每个人都是平等的。如果你只是爱你的兄弟和姐妹——只是爱那些与你同信仰，或同阶级的人，那就算不得什么。 在（玛窦福音）第五章里，耶稣对他的门徒说：假如你们只爱那些爱你们的人，上主又何必奖赏你们呢？假如你们只是向朋友打招呼，那又有什么了不起呢？