Chapter 19 Kip stone, Kip stone

The dim light cut a wound in the night. Panting, the train stopped on the platform of a small station. The conductor yelled: Xiashi is here. Kip Rock?Is this Kip Rock? ! In October 1934, Lin Huiyin and Liang Sicheng were invited by the Construction Department of Zhejiang Province to discuss the rebuilding plan of the Six Harmonies Pagoda in Hangzhou. Ningsi discovered a Yuan Dynasty building. On the way back to Shanghai, he did not expect such a small stop. Lin Huiyin jumped off the sleeper and opened the car window.There are only the shadows of distant mountains and nearby lights outside the car window.

Liang Sicheng said, "Go down and take a walk." It was deserted on the platform.The shadows of two tall mountains in the distance pressed over violently under the darkness of night.The blue night is as cold as water, and the stars are like fish hitting a net, flickering in another world. The town is stingy and unwilling to raise a light, only the sparse barking of dogs and the occasional sound of the watchman's clapper, warming the long dream. Maybe you sleep on the opposite hillside, Zhimo, without poems, music, or even a tombstone, accompanied by your ever-changing green hills.At dawn, they will give you a song of birds and a touch of red, but I can't wait.At this small station, the train stops for only three minutes.Maybe you don't know how cruel these three minutes of my life are to me. It unintentionally pushes me closer to you, and then roughly pulls me away, without even having time to say hello to you.

You seem to be an organ of the hometown landscape, destined to grow here.And Beiping, which is thousands of miles away from you, has been two years, and you have not taken a step back.The new moon will never be complete again, you will never see your footsteps in Miliangku Hutong, and you will never hear your laughter at friends' gatherings. Lin Huiyin didn't know how the train drove away. When the wheels shook the ground under her feet, she could no longer hold back the tears in her eyes.The living and the dead are like parallel railroad tracks that never meet. Lin Huiyin looked out the window and sat there quietly.Liang Sicheng put a coat on her shoulders.Xu Zhimo's verse hit her so strongly:

The train catches the rails and runs in the night: Over the mountains, over the water, over the graves of the dead; Just relying on the narrow two roads, they are the rails, Carrying this weight is like a dream. She suddenly thought that today is November 19th, the third anniversary of Zhimo's death. Just like everything in life, there are so many accidents in life.A chance, a day, and forever a chance encounter, even though it was a fleeting glimpse. The train roared and galloped through the vastness.It was just this heavy night that crashed into pieces and rushed over again.Those discontinuous past events turned into a blur. She unfolded the pen and paper and poured out the indescribable emotions on the paper:

don't throw it away This past passion, Now like water, lightly At the bottom of the cold mountain spring, In the dark night in the pine forest, faint as a sigh, You still have to keep the truth! The same is the moonlight, The same is the lights across the mountain, sky full of stars, only make people invisible, hangs like a dream, You ask the night to return, That word—you still have to believe it, stay in the valley There is that echo! When the morning sun shines on the manuscript paper through the train window, the train has arrived in Shanghai.Chen Zhi, an old classmate who studied in the United States, came to pick him up.They were very happy to meet again after a long absence.In the place where I stayed, I circled all day long.Lin Huiyin, who used to talk, laugh and talk endlessly, was uncharacteristically silent this time.

Chen Zhi finally couldn't bear to ask: "What's wrong with sister Hui, why didn't you talk?" Lin Huiyin said: "Do you think I am a woman, always talking non-stop?" Liang Sicheng said: "When we came, the train passed Xiashi." Then everyone was silent. On May 9 of the following year of the inspection in southern Zhejiang, Fang Weide, a young poet of the Crescent School, died of illness in Peking Hospital. Lin Hui was hit hard again because of his injured heart.She sent the funeral to Fayuan Temple, looking at the lonely soul, tears blurred her eyes.She seems to have seen the scene in the past, picks up a pen, and once again expresses endless condolences for her friend who died young due to lung disease:

Wade, is that so? you feel tired, kind of impatient, for no other reason you go away Which way? Wade, you are so smart; Let the flowers bloom early, Those fresh flowers, Just choose a spring morning like this, wave your sleeves Facing the haze of dawn go, softly, softly, Turning away from us. It doesn't stop like a spring breeze! Lin Huiyin's young face flashed in front of his eyes. He seemed to have not completely lost his childishness, and he was still so shy when he met strangers, but he was so full of energy, as if he didn't care about anything.When Fang Lingru met him at his Jiugu Fang Lingru in Nanjing that year, Fang Weide was still studying at Central University and had already published many poems in "New Moon", "Literature" and "Poetry Magazine". He was a precocious boy.Unexpectedly, he went so quietly.

blowing like a spring breeze you stay forever that one young man's confidence; boy's smile Pleasant Sprinkled on other people's new branches. we are proud you are so proud But you, Wei De, are not alone our piece Cowardly grief? That Fang Weide who vowed to be a great poet, that Fang Weide who blushes when seeing girls, that Fang Weide who always makes people think of him as a little brother at poetry fairs, that Fang Weide who always makes people feel that there are no troubles in the world when he smiles , his name is youth and vitality, but he did not expect the black cloak of death to cover him mercilessly.

Gloom is the world beauty doesn't come often you know. If there is singing, it is only in A few lip twirls! layers of dust, Sadness is various arrangements, Even if I can't afford to go crazy, I can't afford to go crazy, This is far and wide, smoke in the fog, Who has seen the flowers bloom! Maybe he hasn't waited for the flowering period of that life, and he withered without opening.He had so much sweetness that was too thick to melt away.His father Fang Xiaoyue, who graduated from St. John’s University in Shanghai and went to Japan to study, is a famous literary historian. His aunt Fang Lingru once studied in the United States and is also a famous writer. Fang Weide, who was young and intelligent, was praised and supported by Xu Zhimo just after he published his works. become his disciple.

you left, you go too, go away, take it with you Those children Xinfang, those loud, Tomorrow and tomorrow, after that, In the lonely ordinary, Who will support it? One star is ideal, isn't it? From now on, hang in the sky? Fate is so ruthless, it throws the cruel reality to the living people prematurely. His "Weide Poetry Collection", "Autumn Night Swinging Songs", and "Lilac Poetry Collection" still exude the fragrance of ink, and he still has so many colorful poems, and he left in a hurry before he could sway them on paper. What the world has to say has not yet been said, who will leave it to say?

Wade, you are such a poet You are so young, as if The sky is just dawning, the bell is just ringing... You said you were tired, kind of Impatient and patient, A rainbow bridge is broken in the middle; Willing to hear the cuckoo sing, Believe that the bright moon will shine forever, The cold light can be faintly reflected in the bottom of the water half chain looking forward to Your poet's hope! Is Wade like that? You feel tired!world's melancholy you don't care; The lotus leaf spreads with a smile The poet's footsteps like floating smoke. Do you only believe in the road outside the sky? This poem is an important work of Lin Huiyin, and she wrote it with her own tears.Over the past few years, life has given her too much thinking, making her understand the Zen of instant and eternity, life and death, existence and immortality.In the past two years, her poems include "New Year's End", "You Are the April Day in the World", "Inspiration", "On the Tower" and so on.She made her art more and more close to her destiny. Grief is one of the most complex human emotions.There is nothing more heartbreaking for a living friend than if the shadow of being misinterpreted and misunderstood still hangs over the dead. Three years since Xu Zhimo passed away, all kinds of misunderstandings and misunderstandings have never left him. Some people don’t know that what they hurt intentionally or unintentionally is a poet who, as always, gave all his sincerity and love to the world. They don’t know that his poems will be Always shining in the starry sky of China, they are always used to regulating others with their own values, whether they are dead or alive, whether they are strangers or acquaintances. On the 4th anniversary of Xu Zhimo's death, Lin Huiyin vomited the block in his heart and wrote an essay "Commemorating the 4th Anniversary of Zhimo's Death", which was published in "Ta Kung Pao".The text reads: But I want to tell you that although it has been four years since you left the world of our common activities and stopped participating in the main force of the change of events, no one can deny that you are still standing in the background of our misty waves.Indirectness is a force, especially in terms of effort and belief in literary and artistic creation.Indirectly, you let the natural rhymes and colors, the occasional wind and moonlight, and all human emotions without laws continue to live among us intermittently, and we are still intertwined with the disputes of this life. The ideal of life.You are not too far away from us, your figure will always hang here and there, just as erratic as you were in life, love comes when people don’t expect it, and the laughter that brings courage is always so loud, and, through your enthusiasm or Those poems that I chanted anxiously still haunt the hearts of many people one by one. Speaking of your poems, my friend, I'm just going to have a few more serious words with you.Don't be impatient.Sooner or later we will have to make it clear.People say that the final conclusion, the former has long been a fact, the latter in these four years, it is hard to say, I have not read a pertinent or honest review, although the praise and criticism of you are dead by you In the next week or two, it started one after another.But each of them doesn’t hold a scale of pure literature and art; some like you as a person, some doubt your personal morality; some only respect the philosophy expressed in your poems, and some only like those who are weak Meticulous sentences, some every comment must involve the rules of your personal life, or assert that you are frivolous, or cite you as extravagant!Friend, I know you never mind these things. You have already experienced a lot of people’s shallowness and honesty or meanness. Not only have you never been angry, but you often show compassion and forgiveness; your mood is always so clean; Always raised so high; always have such complete sincerity in the chest; always have so many indomitable courage in the arms.But the current situation is slightly different from before. Since you are no longer here, as your friend, seeing you being misunderstood, misinterpreted, and even abused, sometimes I can't help feeling sorry for you. But don't get me wrong that I'm narrow-minded and take irrelevant things as important. I also know that misunderstandings, misinterpretations, and abuse are irrelevant, but friends, when we all need someone to understand us, we really understand us. , even if we criticize and criticize our weaknesses and mistakes, the whole of us adds more meaning. A writer's overall achievements in literature and art need a kind of peaceful judgment on thesis and art. In this prose, Lin Huiyin affirmed Xu Zhimo's poetry achievements. She is not only an appreciator, but also a soul-identifier. I admit that writing poetry is a bleak business, isolated and struggling among people, but because I know it too well, your pure faith and sincere attempt to fight for your colleagues and maintain their emotional foolishness, praise They have never pursued vanity in their artistic creation, and I think you are always at ease.As you said yourself, "your head is full of blood" and you "have never lowered your head", and you yourself believe that "a little bit of spirituality is still struggling there" and "you still want to make some noise under the heavy oppression of real life". To put it simply, my friend, your motivation for writing poetry is frank and involuntary, and your attitude towards writing poetry is sincere, brave and stubborn.When discussing your poems, everyone should understand first. Whether our works will last forever depends on whether they will live in the hearts of people we have never known, the readers of our works, scattered lonely people who do not know each other at all times and places, This kind of thing has its own laws, and we don't need to care about it.As far as I know, your poems are still drifting here and there, and your shadow is tied in those poems in varying shades, and the other end is printed in the hearts of many strangers.Friends, don't underestimate this kind of indirect existence, many enthusiastic people will increase their consciousness of existence for your existence.Sad only for your closest friends and like-minded endeavors, the fact that you are not among them will always be a void that cannot be filled. Lin Huiyin believes that Xu Zhimo's life as a poet is full of poetry everywhere. He lives poetically in this world. Love, freedom and beauty are all his souls. Basic character, and this kind of character is exactly what needs to be carried forward. After you left, everyone proposed to set up a "Zhimo Prize" for you to continue your ambition of encouraging others to work hard on poetry and prose, to encourage and symbolize your enthusiasm for supporting literary creation, so that young people who do not know you will always love you Preserve the intimacy.If you don't feel that Taihan Lun is not hot enough for this matter, I hope you forgive your friends for their painstaking efforts, and give us the courage to do these stupid things with a smile in the dark. What Lin Huiyin dedicated to Xu Zhimo was not just a eulogy, but what she dedicated to him was the sound of a seed bursting into a crack in a stone, the cry of a poet whose soul was sawn. She calls for justice and conscience, even though it is the last dish on the table for those who are pious. A poet's heart is always an ark.Even if there is a crown on his head, it is woven of thorns.In all his life he had no other people's evils to account for, but his own soul. From this day on, Lin Huiyin felt that there was an extra promise in her life, which would illuminate every minute of her life. This is the responsibility of the spirit.