Chapter 31 Chapter 12-3

Another great pleasure of mine was the visit of Mme Verdeland and her daughter; who had taken her daughter to the spa at Bourbon, detoured to Motiers, and stayed with me for two or three days.Her attention and care for me finally overcame my long-standing aversion to her; my heart was conquered by her caresses, and the kindness she had shown me for a long time was fully repaid.Her trip here moved me very much, especially in the circumstances I was in at that time, I desperately needed the comfort of friendship to support my courage.I was afraid that she would feel for the insult I had received from the fool, and I wanted to keep her from seeing it, so that she would not feel sorry for me, but I couldn't do it, although when we walked together, Her presence softened the insolence a little, but she still saw enough signs to tell what was going on in ordinary times.Even while she lived with me, I was harassed at night in the house, and her maid found in the morning that my window-sill was littered with stones, which had been thrown up during the night.A heavy stone stool, which was originally placed on the street by my door and fixed on the base, was unloaded and moved to my door. If someone hadn't found it, who would have seen it first? If anyone opened the door and went out, he would be crushed to death by a stone stool.Madame Verdrin knew all about what had happened, for one of her confidants, besides what she had seen, had the acquaintance of everyone in the village, and had even spoken to Montmorgue.But she didn't seem to mind what happened to me, she didn't talk to me about Montmorant, or anyone else, and she seldom answered me when I did.She seemed convinced, however, that I would be better off in England than anywhere else, so she used to speak to me of Mr. Hume--Hume was in Paris--that he was very kind to me, and was very eager to be of service to me in England. .Now is the time to say something about Mr. Hume.

Mr. Hume has acquired a great reputation in France, especially among the Encyclopedists, for his writings on commerce and politics, and lately his History of the Stuarts, which I The only work that Fr. Volt's interpreter read.I have not read his other works, but based on the introduction given to me by others, I think that Mr. Hume combined the thorough republican spirit with the contradictory phenomenon of the British advocating luxury.On this thought again, I regard his defense of Charles I as a miracle of fairness; I admire his morals as much as his genius.Mrs. Bouffry, Mr. Hume's good friend, had long persuaded me to go to England; and the desire to make the acquaintance and win the friendship of this rare character greatly strengthened my desire to go to England.After I arrived in Switzerland, I received a letter from him through this lady. He was extremely flattering to me. Apart from praising my talent, he also earnestly invited me to go to England and was willing to use it. All his influence, to introduce all his friends to me, made my stay in England more comfortable.Here, Mr. Hume's countryman and friend, the Lord Marshal, told me that I had estimated all Hume's merits perfectly well, and he even told me a literary anecdote about Hume, which once gave him A deep impression also gave me a deep impression.Wallace, who had written against Hume on the subject of ancient population, was absent when his work went to press, and Hume read the proofs for him and supervised the printing.This behavior is exactly what I like.Me, too.Someone once wrote a song against me, and I sold it for six sous.Therefore, when Madame Verdeland came to me to speak of Hume, I had all kinds of preconceived notions in his favour; England is my lord—that's what she said.She urged me to take advantage of this zeal of Mr. Hume and write to him.I would not write, nor promise, as I was born with a distaste for England, and would not make such a move unless it was absolutely necessary; but I left her to do as she thought fit, in order to keep Mr. Hume this kindness.As she had told me all about this great celebrity, she had convinced me when she left Motiers that he was among my friends, and she was among my friends. out of the list.

After she had gone, Montmorant intensified his undercover activities.And those ignorant people don't know what temperance is.I still went on walking quietly amidst the scolding; the liking for botany, which I had begun to pick up at the presence of Dr. D'Vernoir, added a new interest to my walks and carried me everywhere. , Collecting plant specimens, I don't care about the clamor of those boring people, and my calmness can only arouse their fury.One of the things that pains me most is to see that many of my friends, or the families of those who call them friends, join the ranks of my persecutors quite openly, such as the Duvelnois family, my family. Isabel's father and brother, as well as Pois de la Tour, a relative of my girlfriend (with whom I lived), and her sister-in-law, Madame Girardie.That Pierre Bois was an idiot, a fool, and very rude in his actions; in order not to get angry, I had to make fun of him and wrote a book with only a few words in the style of the Minor Prophets. In the pamphlet on 1999, entitled "The Dreams of Pierre in the Mountains, Claiming to Be the Eye of the Sky", I humorously opened fire on the miracles that were then used as the main excuse for persecuting me.Berou had the manuscript printed in Geneva.The success of this article here is very limited; for not even the most intelligent Neuchâtelese are capable of appreciating Athenian wit, of humor, if the joke is only a little subtler.

I also wrote another work, which was written more carefully, and the manuscript is still in my files. I should talk about the origin of this work here. Amongst the people of Geneva who stand out, screaming and screaming, during the most frenzied hours of arrest warrants and persecutions, my friend Verne, with true theological pride, has chosen this moment to publish some Letters attacking me, trying to prove that I am not a Christian.The letters were well written, but not very clever, though it is said that Bonnet, the naturalist, had a hand in them.This Bonnet is certainly a materialist, but when it comes to me, he is still narrowly orthodox.Of course, I have no intention of replying to this kind of work, but since I had the opportunity to say a few words in "Letters from the Mountains", I inserted a teasing note, which made Verne very angry.He yelled at the top of his lungs in Geneva, and, as Duvelnois told me, he was completely out of control.A headless post appeared shortly after, seemingly written not in ink, but in the water of the Boile Reteng River.This post said that I threw several of my children on the street, that I was running around with a camp prostitute in my arms, that I was hurting myself with alcohol and sex, that I had a big sore on bayberry, and other such nice words.It was certainly not difficult for me to see who my opponent was.When I read this slander book, I saw a person who had never run into a whore's house in his life, and his biggest shortcoming was always timid and ashamed like a virgin, but now he was called an expert in running a whore's house; Red bayberry sores, and not only have I never had this kind of disease in my life, but even experts say that my constitution is not born with this kind of disease; at this time, my first thought was to ask earnestly, How much real value can all the so-called reputation and reputation in the world have.After careful consideration, it seemed to me that the best way to refute this slander was to have it printed in the city where I lived longest, so I sent it to Duchesne, and told him to take it as it was. Printed out, with an introductory note in which I named M. Verne, and a few short notes stating the facts.Not content with printing the post, I showed it to several people, among them Herr Prince Louis of Württemberg, who was always very polite to me, and exchanged correspondence with me at that time.The prince, Bellou, and others seemed to suspect that Verne was the author of this slander, and it would be too abrupt to blame me for pointing him out.As soon as I was told by them, my conscience was disturbed, and I wrote to Duchesne, asking him to cancel this publication.Guy wrote to tell me it had been cancelled; I don't know if he really did; I found him lying so many times that it wouldn't be a miracle to tell one more lie this time; Being blocked in the deep darkness, it is impossible to see through the darkness to see through any truth.

M. Verne endured the accusation very mildly; it is amazing how mild a man could be after the fury he had unleashed, if he really did not deserve it.He also wrote me two or three very measured letters, apparently with the object of ascertaining from my replies how much information I had, and whether there was any evidence against him.I wrote back two texts to him that were grim, stern, and not inoffensively worded, and he wasn't angry at all about them.When I received his third letter, I saw that he wanted to maintain a long-term correspondence relationship, so I didn't reply, so he asked DuVernoy to explain to me.Madame Cramer wrote to Bellou that she knew with certainty that the libel was not written by Verne.None of this can shake my conviction; however, I may be mistaken, and if I am mistaken, I should personally apologize to Verne, so I ask Du Verne to tell him that if he can put the If the real author of the slanderous book is pointed out to me, or at least he can prove to me that he is not the author of the slanderous book, I will definitely apologize to him and promise to satisfy him.I went a step further: for I felt fully that, if, after all, he was innocent, I had no right to demand any proof from him; In a rather long memorandum, invite an umpire whom Verne could not refuse to judge.It is impossible to guess who the umpire I have chosen is the Assembly of Geneva.I declare at the end of the memorandum that if Parliament, having read the memorandum and made such inquiries as it deems necessary and within its power, declares that M. Verne is not the author of the slander, I immediately and sincerely cease to believe him to be the author of the slander. The author of the book, at once ran and knelt at his feet, and begged his forgiveness until it was obtained.I dare say that my zeal for justice, the integrity and magnanimity of my soul, and my faith in the love of justice that is inherent in every human being have never been more expressed than in this reasonable and moving memorandum. more fully and more clearly, for in this memorandum I do not hesitate to make my most unforgiving enemies arbitrators between the detractors and myself.I read the memo to Bellew, and he said it should be cancelled, so I canceled it.He advised me to wait for the evidence that Verne had promised to present, and I did, and I am still waiting today.He persuaded me not to speak during the waiting period, I will not speak, I will never speak again, let people scold me for putting a serious, unwarranted, and unsubstantiated charge on Verne, but in my heart I am still convinced that he is the author of the slander, just as I am convinced of my own existence.My memorandum is still in the hands of Mr. Bellou.If one day it sees the light of day, people will be able to see in it the reasons I have listed, and at the same time, I hope, people will also be able to know the soul of Jean-Jacques, which is always my contemporaries. Unwilling to know.

Now is the time to speak of my Mortier disaster, of how, after two and a half years in Travel Valley, and eight months of the worst treatment I had endured with unwavering spirit, Leaving Travel Valley again.The details of this unhappy period are not distinct to my recollection, but they are seen in the account published by Beru, of which I shall return hereafter. Since Madame Verdeland's departure, the riots have intensified; despite the king's edicts, despite the repeated orders of the state assembly, and despite the repeated warnings of the local lords and administrators, the people seriously regard me as the anti-Christ.At last, when they saw that the shouting was ineffective, they seemed to be about to move; on the road, the stones had begun to roll around me, but they were still thrown too far to hit me.Finally, on the night of the fair at Motiers—the market period is early September—I was attacked in the house, and the lives of all those who lived in the house were in danger.

In the middle of the night, I heard a clang along the long corridor behind the house.Stones like hail were thrown at the doors and windows facing the corridor, and flew into the corridor with a clatter. The dog sleeping in the corridor was barking at first, but then it was too frightened to make a sound and hid in a In the corner, grabbing the board wall, biting and scratching, desperately trying to escape.I got up quickly when I heard the noise, and was about to go out into the kitchen when a stone, thrown by a strong hand, broke the window, passed through the kitchen, knocked open my door, and fell straight down. Get down at the foot of my bed; if I walk a second faster, the stone hits me in the stomach.I judged that the bang was intended to lure me out, and the stone thrown was to block the door for me.I reached the kitchen in one stride, and saw Thérèse also got up, running towards me trembling all over.The two of us quickly leaned against the wall, avoiding the direction of the window, so as not to hit the stone, and discussed how to deal with it, because if we went out to call for help, we would just be crushed to death.Fortunately, I lived downstairs with an old man, and his maid got up when she heard the noise, and ran to call for Mr. Lord—Mr. Lord lives across the door from us.Mr. Lord jumped out of bed, quickly put on his pajamas, and immediately ran with the guards. Because there was a market, the guards were patrolling that night, and they were close at hand.When the lord saw the damage, his face turned pale with fright. When he saw the stones all over the place, he exclaimed, "Oh my God! It's a quarry!" When he looked down, he found that the door of a small yard had been washed away. Open, someone tried to get into the house from the corridor.Everyone researched why the guard did not see or prevent this commotion, and it turned out that, although other villages had already been patrolled that night, Motier's guard insisted on patrolling.The lord sent a report to the state assembly the next day, and two days later, the assembly ordered him to investigate the incident, offered a reward for reporting the perpetrator, and promised to keep the informant secret. At the same time, before solving the case, use the king's At public expense, guards are set up outside my house and outside the house of the lord who adjoins my house.The next day, Colonel Pilly, Attorney-General Meron, the lord Martinet, the tax collector Guyonet, the treasurer DuVernoy, his father, in short, all the important people of the district came to see me, and I was unanimously urged to hide from the limelight, at least for a while, to leave this parish where I could no longer live safely and decently.I even saw that the lord, frightened by the fury of the mob, lest they turn it on him, would be glad to see me hurry away, so as to relieve him of the difficult task of protecting me, and to do so himself. May break away from the parish—he did after I left.So I gave in, and even felt a little sad: for the hatred of the people was too much for me to bear.

There is more than one option for my retreat.Madame Verdrin wrote to me several letters, after her return to Paris, about a Mr. Walpole, whom she called Sir, who was very kind to me, and who wanted to be present at his house. A property provides me with a place to go.She described this place to me very fascinatingly, how to live and how to live, and she described it in detail, which shows that Sir Walpole's plan was carefully discussed with her.Lord Field Marshal has been persuading me to go to England or Scotland, and he is willing to give me a place on his estate; but then he offers me another place, at Potsdam, near him, which says to me Come on, the temptation is even greater.He also recently conveyed to me what the king had said to him about me, which was an invitation to go; and the Duchess of Saxe-Gothic thought that my journey was already expected, So she wrote to me, urging me to drop by and see her, and to live with her for a while.But I am too attached to Switzerland, and I am reluctant to leave Switzerland. As long as I can live in Switzerland, I will use this opportunity to implement a plan that I have been thinking about for several months. This plan, in order not to interrupt I have not been able to talk about the topic of my narrative.

The plan was to live on St. Pierre Island.The Ile Saint-Pierre is the property of the Bern Hospital, in the center of Lake Bienne.I had visited the island last summer on a hiking trip with Beru, and it had fascinated me so much that I've made plans to make a home there several times since.The biggest obstacle is that the island is owned by the Bernese, who deported me three years ago with a very bad attitude; I can't feel the pride, and I'm afraid that people won't let me have a moment of peace on this island, which is worse than when I was in Yverdon.Lord Field Marshal, whom I had previously consulted on the matter, thought as I did, that the Bernese would be glad to see me imprisoned on this island, and to keep me there as a hostage, for what I might write in the future. He entrusted his old neighbor of the Colombier house, Monsieur Sturler, to test their attitude on this question.Monsieur Sturler approached the leaders of the state, and on the basis of their replies, assured the Lord Marshal that the Bernese were ashamed of their past conduct and would be glad to see me settled on St. Pierre , never come to harass me.To be on the safe side, before I ventured to live there, I asked Colonel Chayer to inquire again, and Colonel Chayer confirmed the same statement to me.When the cashier of the hospital who lived on the island obtained permission from his superiors to let me live in the island, I felt that since the highest authority of the Berne State and the owner of the island had acquiesced, it was a good idea for me to live in the cashier's house. There is absolutely no danger; I say acquiesce, because I can never expect the lords of Berne to openly admit that they have treated me unjustly in the past, nor to violate the most inviolable law of all powers. in principle.

The Île Saint-Pierre, known in Neuchâtel as the Isle of Clay, is situated in the middle of Lake Bienne, and has a circumference of about half a league; but in this small space it provides all the principal products necessary for life.There are fields, meadows, orchards, woods, and vineyards on the island, all of which, due to the varied terrain and rolling hills, form a particularly fascinating layout: the various parts of the island are not all at once. People can see everything at a glance, but cover each other, making people feel that the island is bigger than it actually is.On the western side of the island is a high terrace facing the towns of Gleles and Bonneville.On this platform, a long row of trees was planted, and a "big salon" was left in the middle. During the grape harvest season, people gathered here from the adjacent lakeshore to dance and entertain every Sunday.There was only one house on the island, but it was large and convenient, and it was the teller's, on a low ground out of the wind.

Five or six hundred paces to the south of this island is another, much smaller, uncultivated and uninhabited, as if separated from the larger island by the blows of a storm; Some willows and spring Polygonum grow, but there is a tall pier with fine grass, which is very satisfactory.The lake has an almost regular oval shape. Although the shores of the lake are not as rich as those of Lake Geneva and Lake Neuchâtel, they still constitute a very beautiful scenery, especially the west bank, which is very densely populated. A bunch of vineyards at the foot of the mountain are a bit like It's in Cote-Rorty, but the wine isn't as good.On the west side of the lake, going from south to north, there are the judicial district of Saint-Jean, the town of Bonneville, Buena and Nido at the end of the lake. There are also many villages dotted between these towns, which are very pleasant. This was the place I had long set for myself, and I resolved to make my home there when I left Travel Valley.This choice was so in keeping with my taste for peace and my withdrawn and indolent nature that I counted it one of those sweet dreams which I am most heartily fond of.I felt that by living on this island I was more isolated from the world, more able to avoid their insults, more able to be forgotten by them, in a word, more able to indulge in the sweetness of a life of idleness and contemplation.I longed to be completely shut up on this island, cut off from the world; and, of course, I took every conceivable measure to get rid of the necessity of keeping in touch with the world. Here comes the problem of life; on this island, food is expensive, transportation is difficult, and the cost of living is high. Besides, living on the island is completely at the disposal of the cashier.This difficulty was finally overcome because Beru Huiran made an arrangement with me. He replaced the booksellers who first contracted and then gave up publishing my complete works.I entrusted him with all the materials for the publication of the complete works, and I was responsible for sorting out and arranging these materials myself.I also promised him that I would hand over my memoirs to him in the future, and that he would be the general custodian of all my manuscripts, but on the express condition that he could only use them after my death, because I wanted to be quiet. I will die for the rest of my life, and I don't want to be reminded of me by the society.According to this arrangement, the life annuity he is responsible for giving me is enough to maintain my life.Lord Marshal, who had recovered all his property, offered me an annuity of twelve hundred francs, which I accepted only after reducing the amount by half.He wanted to hand over the principal of the annuity to me, but I declined, because it was difficult to store, so he handed over the principal to Beiru, and it is still in Beiru's hands, and Beiru will pay according to him and the giftor. The agreed upon standard pays me an annuity.In this way, the contract between me and Bellou, the annuity of the Lord Marshal (two-thirds of which is to be paid to Thérèse after my death), and the three hundred francs due to Duchesne. Annuities all added up, and I can pretty much count on living decently.Even after my death, Thérèse's life was not a problem, because adding Rey's annuity and the marshal's annuity together, I left her an annuity of seven hundred francs: in short, I need not fear that she will not have If I eat bread, I don't have to be afraid that I don't have bread to eat.Fate, however, ordained that honor should compel me to reject all the resources that luck and labor had brought to my hands, and that I should die as poor as I lived.Readers can think about it, unless I am willing to be the most shameless person, can I accept the arrangement that others deliberately try to humiliate me, cut me off from all other sources of life, and force me to agree to do shameful things?How could they have guessed the choice I took when the two couldn't be both?They have been judging my heart with their own heart. With my life at ease, I was free from worries in every other respect.Though I have left the whole world to my enemies to do as they please, I have left for my soul a Evidence, and this evidence fully agrees with all the actions that spring from my nature.I need no other defense against my slanderers, who may draw another man under my name, but they can deceive only those who are willing to be deceived.I could give them my whole life to be judged from the bottom up, and I am sure that through my many faults and weaknesses, through my inability to bear any restraint, one will always find a just and good man who has no complaints. No love, no jealousy, no jealousy, courage to admit that he is sorry for others, and easier to forget the place where others are sorry for himself, he only seeks all his happiness in the lingering and warm feelings, he is sincere to the point of being careless about everything, Sincere to the most incredible degree of selflessness. I say farewell to my time, to my contemporaries, and I shall die, imprisoned on this island; such is my resolution.The grand plan of a life of idleness, which had hitherto been exhausted of the sliver of mobility which Heaven had endowed me with, was now to be carried out for the last time on this island.This island is to become my Babimani--the blissful place where I can sleep: here it goes a step further, here there is nothing to do. This "further step" is quite enough for me, because I have never regretted that I cannot sleep soundly: I can just do nothing.As long as I have nothing to do, I'd rather be awake and dream than sleep and dream.The age of romantic calculations is past, when the clouds of riches and riches have dazzled me rather than refreshed my mind, and there is only one last hope left, the hope of living unfettered in eternal idleness.This is the life of the blessed in the kingdom of heaven, and from now on I will enjoy it on earth as my supreme happiness. Having said that, people who blame me for being so contradictory must blame me for being contradictory.I have said that the idleness of society made it intolerable to me, and now I indulge in it and seek a life of solitude.Yet I am so, and if there is a contradiction, it is nature's fault, not mine; not only is there no contradiction, but because of it I am always me.Leisure in society is disgusting because it is forced; leisure in solitary life is pleasant because it is free and voluntary.When the house is full, idleness makes me miserable, because I am compelled to be idle.I have to stay there, nailed to a chair, or stand upright like a sentinel, not moving my feet, not moving my hands, not daring to run, not to dance, not to sing, not to scream, not to Dare to dictate, not even to dream.The extreme boredom of idleness combined with the extreme pain of restraint compelled me to listen to all the foolishness and all the compliments, and to rack my brains constantly lest I lose the chance, and to put my charades, my charades, my Lie inserted to talk about.And you call this idleness!This is the real labor of convicts! The idleness I love is not the idleness of an idler. An idler stays there with his arms folded and motionless, with his mind and limbs inactive.The leisure I love is that of a child, who is constantly moving and yet doing nothing; the leisure of the daydreamer, who thinks about while the body remains.I like to be busy with little things that don't matter. I do everything but never finish. I like to run around as I please. I like to change my plans from time to time.I love to stare at a fly to see all its movements, I want to lift a rock and see what's underneath, I love to pick up a job that takes ten years to complete with enthusiasm, and I don't regret it ten minutes later Throwing it away, in short, I like to touch and look here and there all day long, neither in order nor continuously, and everything is based on a moment of pleasure. The botany I had in mind, which had begun to become my fad, was the science of the idler, fit to fill all the gaps in my leisure time, leaving no room for the wild imagination nor the absolute. The depression of doing nothing is possible.Walking carelessly in the woods and fields, unconsciously here and there, sometimes a flower, sometimes a twig, chewing almost everything that comes across, observing the same thing a thousand times and always with the same interest, For I always see something and immediately forget it--that's enough to keep me going through a thousand years without being bored for a moment.No amount of detail, no wonder, no variety of plant construction will attract the gaze of an ignorant person and interest him.The constant resemblance and infinite variety which appear in the tissues of plants can only astonish a man who has some knowledge of the vegetable kingdom.Others, beholding the many treasures of nature, can only produce a ignorant, monotonous admiration, and they can't see anything, because they don't even know what to see; they can't see the whole, Because they do not know the connection between various relations and combinations, and this connection surprises the observer infinitely with its myriad of mysteries.Because of my poor memory, I am often in this miraculous state: I possess the necessary knowledge to perceive everything.Although the island is small, it is divided into various soils, and the vegetation in front of me has quite a variety, which is enough for my lifelong study and recreation.I don't want to leave a blade of grass unanalyzed on the island, and I am already preparing a "Flora of Île Pierre" with countless interesting observations. I asked Theresa to bring my books and clothes.We lodged with the teller on the island, whose wife had several younger sisters who lived in Nido, and they took turns to visit her and keep Thérèse company.There I was trying a sweet life, longing to live my life in it, and my interest in it only made me feel more deeply what was about to follow. The bitterness of that life that comes. I have always loved water, and when I see water, I sink into the endless reverie, although I often have no clear goal.When the weather is fine, I always get up on the platform to breathe the fresh and healthy morning air, and look out to the beautiful sky on the other side of the lake.I think there is nothing more appropriate to respect God than this kind of wordless praise inspired by contemplating the performance of God. This kind of praise cannot be expressed by specific actions.I understand why people in cities don't have much religion, all they see are walls, streets, and crime; but I don't understand why people in rural areas, especially those who are cut off from the outside world, can have no religion.How could their souls not be charmed a thousand times a day by the miracles they had witnessed, the creators of these miracles?As for me, especially when I got up, I was worn out by sleepless nights, but this ecstasy, by long habit, required no thought.But to do this, my eyes must be exposed to the moving spectacle of nature.When I was in my room I prayed less and more dullly; but when I saw a beautiful view I felt my heart flutter for no reason.I remember a book in which a wise bishop visited his diocese and found an old woman who could only say "Oh!" His prayer is better than ours." This best prayer is mine.After breakfast I hurried to write some ill-fated letters, frowning, eagerly anticipating the happy moment when I had no more letters to write.Again I circle around my books and manuscripts, unpacking and arranging them, not reading them.This tidying up, which I have become Penelope's cloth, gives me the pleasure of passing time; The system used to study botany, and Linnaeus in particular, has developed a fascination for me, even after feeling its emptiness.This great observer, so far as I can see, is the only one—and Ludwig—so far to have looked at botany as a naturalist and philosopher; but he studied too much in herbaria and botanical gardens. Much, but not enough studied in nature.I, for my part, regard the whole island as a botanical garden, and when I need to make an observation or verify an observation, I run out into the woods or meadows, with a book under my arm, and get there next to the plant to be studied. Lie down so that you can calmly examine it as it grows on the ground.这个方法对我大有好处，使我能认识在未经人手培植或改变性质之前的处在自然状态的植物。有人说，路易十四的首席御医法贡能透彻认识御花园里的全部植物，并且都说得出名字来，但是一到乡间就显得那么无知，什么都不认识了。我正好和他相反，对大自然的作物倒略知一二，而对园丁栽培的作物就一无所知了。 下午的时间，我将自己完全交付给我那闲散疏慵的性情，听随当时的冲动去活动，毫无规律。风平浪静的时候，我常常一离开餐桌就独自跳上一只小船，一直划到水中央；这是出纳员教会我用单桨划的。到我随水漂流的时刻，我就快乐得浑身打颤，我说不上也不明白我这样快乐是什么原因，也许那是暗自庆幸我就这样逃出了恶人们的魔掌吧。然后，我就一人在这湖上荡漾，有时也接近湖边，可是从来不上岸。我时常让我的船听凭风吹水推，自己则沉醉于无目的的遐想之中，这种遐想，尽管是难以捉摸，却并不因此而不甜美。有时我心头一阵发软，就叫将起来：“啊！大自然啊！我的母亲啊！我现在是在你单独的守护之下了，这里绝对没有什么好诈邪恶的人插在你我之间了。”就这样，我一直漂离陆地有半里约之遥，我恨不得这个湖是一个汪洋大海。然而，我的狗可不象我，它是不喜欢这样在水上长期停留的，为了迎合我那只可怜的狗，我通常总是有个游览的目的，那就是登上那个小岛，在那里遛跶一两小时，或者躺在土墩顶上的那片绿茵上面，饱享观赏湖内外风光的乐趣，考察和解剖我手边的各种植物，象是又一个鲁滨逊那样，在这个小岛上为自己建造一个幻想的幽居。我非常喜爱这个小山丘，每当我能把戴莱丝和出纳员的太太以及她的姊妹们带到这里来散步的时候，我是多么自豪地做她们的桨手和向导啊！我们郑重其事地运些兔子到这里来繁殖，这又是让－雅克的一个盛大节日。这一小群居民使我感到这个小岛更加有趣，从那时起，我就到那里去得更勤，乐趣更浓了，为的是研究那些居民发展的迹象。 除了这些消遣之外，在一定的季节，我还有另外一种消遣，它使我回想起沙尔麦特的那段甜蜜的生活，那就是收获蔬菜和水果。戴莱丝和我都以能和出纳员的太太及其全家一起劳动为乐。我记得有次一个名叫基什贝尔格的伯尔尼人来看我，发现我跨坐在一棵大树上，腰带上系着一个大口袋，里面苹果已经装得那么满，我简直没法动弹了。我对这次相遇以及其他类似的几次相遇，并不感到难堪。我希望伯尔尼人亲眼看看我是怎样利用我的余假，不再打算扰乱我的安宁，让我在孤寂中太太平平地居住下去。我真是宁愿他们主动把我幽禁在这种孤寂的生活里，这比由我自己主动还要好得多，那样，我就会更加保险，不怕有人来扰乱我的休息了。 这里又是我预先就料到读者不会相信的那种自白了，读者虽然在我整个的生活过程中已经不能不看到我千千万万的内心感受都与他们的毫不相同，却总是固执地要以己之心度我之心。更奇怪的是，他们既不肯承认我会有他们所没有的那一切好的或不好不坏的感情，他们却又经常准备把一些坏到根本不能在人心里产生的感情硬派到我的头上。他们觉得最简单的办法就是把我放到与大自然直接矛盾的地位，使我成为一种根本不可能存在的怪物。他们想给我抹黑的时候，就觉得任何荒谬绝伦的话都是能使人相信的；他们一想到要说我好，就觉得任何不同凡响的事都是不可能的。 但是，不管他们信不信，不管他们会怎么说，我仍然要继续忠实地暴露让－雅克·卢梭是个什么样的人，做了些什么事，想了些什么东西，对他的思想感情上的奇特之处，丝毫不加解释，绝对不予以辩护，也不去研究别人想的是否跟他一样。我太爱圣·皮埃尔岛了，在岛上居住实在太中我的意了，我把一切欲念都寄托在这个岛的范围以内，打定主意绝不再走出岛外。我对不得不到邻近地区去进行的拜访——去讷沙泰尔、比埃纳、伊弗东、尼多等地，一想起来就感到厌倦。我觉得在岛外度过一天，就等于我的幸福被扣除了一天，出了湖就是如鱼离水。而且，过去的经验已经使我胆寒了，随便一个什么好的事物，只要是能称我的心愿，我就得作很快要失掉它的思想准备。所以，想在岛上了此一生的那种热烈愿望，是和怕被迫迁出的那种畏惧完全不能分开的。我已经养成了习惯，天天晚上跑到沙滩上去坐，特别是在湖上有风浪的时候，我看着波涛在我的脚前化作泡沫，便感到一种奇特的乐趣。它使我觉得这正是人世的风波和我住所的宁静的象征，我有时想到这里便觉得心头发软，直感到眼泪夺眶而出。我怀着热爱享受着的这种安宁，只有唯恐失之的那种不安心情在搅乱它，但是这种不安的心情是那样强烈，竟至损害了它的甜美。我感到我的处境太没有保障，实在靠不住。“啊！”我心里想，“我多么愿意拿离开岛的自由去换取永远留在岛上的保证啊！这个自由我是连想都不愿意想的。我多么想被强制留在这里，而不是蒙恩和被容忍而居住在这里啊！仅只因为容忍而让我住在这里的人们是随时可以把我撵走的，我能希望那些迫害者看到我在这里很幸福就让我幸福下去吗？啊！人们只容许我生活在这里是不够的，我真想人们判决我住在这里，我真想被迫留在这里，以免又被迫迁出去。”我以艳羡的眼睛看着那幸运的米舍利·杜克莱，他安安静静地呆在阿尔贝的城堡里，只要他想得到幸福就能得到幸福。最后，由于我老是这样想，老是有令人不安的预感，觉得有新的风暴时时刻刻准备扑到我头上来，所以我竟至盼望，并且以一种非常热烈的心情盼望，他们干脆就把这个岛作为我服无期徒刑的监狱，而不只是宽容我在这个岛上居住。我可以发誓，如果只凭我自己作主就能叫人家判决我住在这里的话，我是会以最大的喜悦心情这样做的，因为我万分情愿被迫在这里度过我的余生，绝不愿有被驱逐出岛的危险。 这种恐惧不久就成事实了。在我万想不到的时候，我收到尼多的法官先生一封信（圣·皮埃尔岛是属于他的司法区的）；他以这封信向我下达了邦议会诸公的命令，要我搬出这个岛，并离开他们的辖境。我读着这封信简直以为是在做梦，没有比这样一个命令更不自然、更不合理、更出乎意料的了，因为，我原来对我的那些预感，一向只看作是一种惊弓之鸟的不安情绪，而不看作是具有若干根据的预见的。我曾采取种种步骤以得到管辖机关的默许，人们又让我那么安安静静地搬到岛上来安家，还有好几个伯尔尼邦的人以及法官自己都曾来访问过我，而且法官对我又殷勤备至、优礼有加，再加上季节又那么严酷，在这时候驱逐一个衰老有残疾的人出境，未免太惨无人道了。这一切使我和许许多多的人都相信，在这道命令里必然有些误会，完全是那些居心不良的人特意趁这葡萄正在收获、参议院正在休会的时期，给我突然来这一下打击。 如果是依我一时气愤去行事的话，我一定当时就走了。但是走到哪里去呢？在这入冬之际，既无目标，又无准备，既无车伕，又无车辆，怎么办呢？除非把书籍、衣服、全部什物都一概扔掉，否则我就得有点时间，而命令里又没有说给不给时间的话。连绵的灾难已经开始消磨我的勇气了。我生平第一次感到我天生的那种豪迈之气在窘迫的压力下低下头来，我心里尽管愤愤不平，还是不能不卑躬屈节地请求一个期限。命令是由格拉芬列先生下达给我的，我就请求格拉芬列先生解释一下。他的信显示出他对这道命令是极不赞成的，他只是以万分歉仄的心情把它下达给我；我觉得，信里充满的那些痛心和钦仰的表示，仿佛都是在和蔼地敦促我敞开心跟他谈谈：我就这样做了。我甚至绝不怀疑，我这封信一定会使那班无义之人睁开眼睛，看到他们自己的野蛮，即使不收回这样一个残酷的成命，至少也会给我一个合理的期限的，也许还会给我一整个的冬天，好让我去准备退路，选择一个地点。 我一面等候回信，一面就开始考虑我的处境，盘算我该采取什么决定。我到处都看到那么多的困难，忧愤又太伤我的心，此刻我的健康情况又很坏，所以我竟不由自主地灰心到了极点，而我灰心的结果就使我的脑子里剩下的一点智慧也丧失净尽了，没法子对这种可悲的处境作出一个尽可能好的安排。很明显，不论我到什么地方去避难，我都逃脱不了人们为驱逐我而采用的那两种方式中的任何一种：一种方式是用暗中活动的办法激起无知小民来反对我；另一种就是用公开强制的办法驱逐我而不说出任何理由。因此我无法指望得到任何一个安全的退路，除非是到我的力量和当时的季节都似乎不能容许我跑得那么远的地方去找。这一切又把我拉回到我方才那些念头上来了，所以我就大着胆子去希望，去建议，宁可让人把我管制起来，禁锢终身，也不要叫我在大地上不断流浪，一再把我逐出我所选定的那些避难的处所。我写出第一封信的两天之后，又写了第二封信给格拉芬列先生，请他为我向当政诸公提出这个建议。伯尔尼邦对我这两封信的答复，是以最明确、最严酷的措辞写成的一道命令，限我在二十四小时内离开岛屿和该共和国的一切直接和间接的领土，永远不得重来，否则定予严惩。 这个时刻是十分可怕的。我曾感到比这更苦的焦虑，却没有遇到过比这更大的困难。但是，最使我痛心的还是被迫放弃那个我盼望能在岛上过冬的计划。现在正是时候，应该补缺一下这件命定的憾事了。这件事使我的灾难达到顶点，并且拖着一个不幸的民族跟我一同垮台——而这个民族的许多初生的美德本来已经预示它有一天会与斯巴达和罗马争光的。 我以前在里曾提到科西嘉人，认为他们是一个新兴的民族，是欧洲唯一不曾衰敝的民族，可以为之立法图治；我还说明，人们应该对这样一个民族抱有很大的希望，如果它能幸而找到一个资明的导师的话。我这部作品被几个科西嘉人读到了，他们对于我谈到他们时的那种赞扬的态度，深有所感。他们当时正致力于缔造他们的共和国，这就使他们的领袖们想到来征求我对于这一重要工作的意见。有位布塔弗哥先生，是出身于该地的望族之一，当时在法国的王家意大利团队任上尉，曾为这个问题写信给我，并且给我提供了好几种文件，都是我为了解该民族历史和当地情形向他索取的。保利先生也给我写过好几次信。虽然我感到这样一项工作超出我的能力之外，却仍然相信，将来掌握了为此而需要的一切材料之后，我就不能拒绝贡献出我的力量来共襄这个伟大的善举。我对他们两人的来信都是照这个意思去答复的，这种通信一直继续到我离开圣·皮埃尔岛的时候为止。 正在这时候，我听说法国派兵到科西嘉岛去了，和热那亚人签订了一个条约。这个条约和这次派兵使我不安起来；当时我并没有想到我会跟这一切有任何关系，可是我已经觉得，为一个民族的立法建制而工作是需要绝对安静的，而在这个民族可能就要被征服的时候去致力于这种工作，当然是既不可能而又可笑的了。我对布塔弗哥先生并没有隐瞒我这种不安的想法，而他却劝我放心，向我保证说，如果那个条约里有损害他的民族的自由的规定，象他那样一个好公民是绝对不会继续在法国军队里服务的。事实上，他要为科西嘉人立法图治的那种热忱，以及他与保利先生保持的那种密切关系，都不容许我对他本人有任何怀疑的余地。当我听说，他常到凡尔赛和枫丹白露去，又跟舒瓦瑟尔先生有些联系，我就得不出其他的结论来，只有相信他对法兰西宫廷的真实意图确有把握，而他只让我去心领神会，不愿在信上公开说明。 这一切总算使我部分地放心了。然而，我一点也不明白法国这次为什么派兵，想不出理由来证明法国兵派到那里是为了保障科西嘉人的自由，因为单是科西嘉人自己的力量就足够反抗热那亚人并进行自卫了。所以我还是不能完全安下心来，也不能在掌握确实的证据、知道那一切并不是人家在戏弄我之前，就当真插手去搞那个拟议中的立法工作。我倒极想跟布塔弗哥先生见一次面，这是真正弄清我所需要的情况的办法，他也使我感到会面是有希望的，所以我怀着非常焦躁的心情等待他。在他那方面，他是否真有前来和我相见的计划，不得而知，但是，即使他有这样的计划，我那些灾难一定也会阻止我利用他那个计划的。 我越考虑这项拟议中的工作，越对手里的材料作深入的研究，就越感觉到，为之立法的那个民族，他们所居住的土地，以及法制应该与之适应的种种关系。都有就近研究的必要。我一天比一天更懂得，要想从远处获得指导我的一切必要的知识，那是不可能的。我把这个意见写信告诉布塔弗哥了，他也有同感。如果说我还没有真正下决心到科西嘉岛去，我却也很动了一番脑筋在考虑这次旅行的办法。我把这件事向达斯蒂埃先生谈了，他是应该了解这个岛上的情形的，因为他以前曾作为马耶布瓦先生的部下在那儿做过事。他极力劝我休作此想，我承认，他把科西嘉人和他们的乡土给我描写得那么可怕，使我原来想到他们中间去生活的念头冷了一大截。 但是当在莫蒂埃受到的迫害使我想到离开瑞士的时候，这个念头又复活了，因为我希望最后能在那些岛国之民中间找到人家到处都不让我享有的那种安宁。不过有一件事使我对这次旅行感到胆怯，就是我将不得不过一种紧张的生活，而我对这种生活始终是不能适应而又极端憎恶的。我生来就是为着独自一人在闲暇中进行沉思默想，而不是为着在大庭广众中说话、行动和处理事务。大自然给了我第一种才能，就拒绝给我另一种才能。我感觉到，我将来一到科西嘉岛，尽管我不直接参加公务，还是不能不投入人民的热情活动之中，并常常跟领袖们开会、商讨问题。我此行的目的本身就要求我不是去寻求隐遁，而是到那个民族的怀抱中找我所需要的知识。很明显，我将再也不能支配我自己了，我既不由自主地卷进了我生来就不能适应的那种事务的游涡，就会在这漩涡中过一种与我的爱好完全相反的生活，而且我在漩涡中的表现将只能于我自己不利。我预料到，我的著作可能曾使科西嘉人觉得我有些能力，我一到那里就会使他们感到见面不如耳闻，因而我在科西嘉人心目中的声望就会降低，同时他们对我原有的信任就会丧失，这于我固然是损失，于他们也同样是损失，因为没有他们的信任，我就不可能把他们期待于我的工作做出成绩来。我确信，我这样越出了自己的能力范围，既于他们无益，也使我自己不幸。 好几年来，我被各式各样的狂风暴雨震撼着、冲击着，横遭迫害，到处奔波，弄得我疲惫不堪，我痛切地感到休息的必要，可是我那些野蛮的仇敌却偏以使我不得休息为乐事；我比任何时候都更渴望我一向就极端羡慕的那种可爱的清闲、那种身心的恬静，自从我从爱情与友谊的幻象中醒悟过来之后，我的心就一直把这种清闲恬静看作唯一的无上幸福。我怀着恐慌的心情瞻望我行将承担的那些任务和行将陷入的那种纷繁生活；目标的伟大、美妙和意义固然激发我的勇气，可是一想到我冒险犯难而不能获得成果，我的勇气就完全消失了。若论所耗的精力，我独自默想沉思二十年，也抵不上我在人事的纠缠中紧张生活六个月，而且还一准是劳而无功。 我想起了一个在我看来是可以把一切都照顾到的权宜之计。我既然每逃到一个地方都被我那些暗中的迫害者的诡计阴谋钉住不放，既然现在我只看到一个科西嘉岛还能使我指望在老年得到他们在任何地方都不愿让我享有的那种安宁，那么，我就决计依照布塔弗哥的指示，当我一有可能的时候，就到那个岛上去。但是，为着能在那里生活得安静，我又决计至少要在表面上放弃那立法的工作，而只限于就地写科西嘉人的历史，作为对他们殷勤待客的一种报答。不过，如果我看出有成功的可能的话，我也不声不响地作些必要的调查，以便我对他们能有更大的用处。这样，我既不承担任何责任，又可以暗暗地、更自由自在地想出一个适合他们的方案，而且这不需要我放弃我那心爱的孤独生活，也不需要我勉强接受一种我既不能忍受、又无能力应付的生活方式。 但是这次旅行，依我当时的处境，不是一件容易做到的事。用达斯蒂埃先生跟我所谈的科西嘉岛的那种情形，除了自己带去的东西之外，在那里连最简单的生活用品都会找不到的，内衣、外衣、锅盆瓢碗、纸张、书籍，什么都得随身携带。我要带我的女总督迁居到那里去，就得超过阿尔卑斯山，并且把整个一大套行李都拖在后面走上二百里约的长程，还得穿过好几个统治者的国境。并且，看全欧洲当时已经形成的那种风气，我当然还要预料到在我的灾难之后我到处都会碰到的障碍，会看到每个人都要幸灾乐祸地予我以新的打击，在我身上违犯一切国际法与人道的准则。象这样一次旅行的巨额耗费和种种疲劳、危险，也使我不得不预先就料到并且仔细衡量一下各种困难。以我这样的年龄，最后落得孤身一人，束手无策，举目无亲，托命于这个象达斯蒂埃先生所给我描绘的那样野蛮而剽悍的民族，这种前景，当然要使我在执行我的决定之前深思一番。我热烈盼望我和布塔弗哥的会晤，我等待晤谈的结果，以便把我的计划最后确定下来。