Chapter 83 CHAPTER 4 The Exhilarating Spirit of Sacrifice

Before I describe the struggle for the rights of Indian residents in the Transvaal and how they dealt with the Ministry of Asian Affairs, I must turn to some other aspects of my life. Until now, I still have a complicated desire in my heart.The spirit of self-sacrifice is watered down by the desire to plan for the future. About the time I went to Bombay to set up an office, an American insurance broker came to Bombay; he was a man of pleasant looks and sweet talk.Like an old friend of mine, he discussed my future happiness with me, "In the United States, people with status like you don't have life insurance. Don't you also insure your own future? Life Possibly. We who live in America regard insurance as a religious duty. May I advise you to take out a small policy?"

Up to this point I had been indifferent to all the brokers I met in South Africa and India because I thought life insurance meant fear and lack of faith in God.Now, however, I succumbed to the temptations of this American broker.As he made his remarks, a picture of my wife and children unfolded in my mind.I said to myself, "You man, I sold almost all of my wife's jewelry. If something happens to you, the burden of supporting your wife and children will fall on your poor brother. Do you have the heart to take on the responsibility of being a father?" On this and similar grounds, I finally managed to convince myself to take out a life insurance policy of Rs.10,000.

But when I changed my lifestyle in South Africa, my views changed too.Every step I take in this time of testing is in the name and service of God.I don't know how long I have to live in South Africa.I was afraid I could never go back to India; so I decided to take my wife and children and earn money to support them.The plan made me feel miserable about life insurance and ashamed of being caught by an insurance broker.I said to myself, if that day really comes, if my brother is really in my father's position, he will certainly not think that raising a widowed daughter-in-law is an excessive burden.And what reason do I have for assuming that I die before others?In the final analysis, the real protector is neither myself nor my brother, but Almighty God.When I took out life insurance, I deprived my wife and children of their self-confidence.Why can't they be expected to take care of themselves?What about the countless poor families in the world?Why don't I count myself among them?

The thought ran through my mind over and over again, but I didn't act on it right away.I remember paying insurance premiums at least once in South Africa. The external environment also supports this train of thought.During my first sojourn in South Africa, the influence of the Christians, which had kept alive the religious feeling in me, was now reinforced by the influence of the theosophists.Mr. Li Qi was a Theosophist who put me in touch with the Theosophical Society in Johannesburg.I have not been a part of this group because I am of a different faith, but I have been in close contact with almost every theosophist.I have daily religious discussions with them.

They used to read from Theosophy, and I sometimes spoke to their assemblies.The main spirit of Theosophy is the idea of ​​enlightening and promoting brotherhood.We have had a lot of debate on this issue, and I have criticized members who, in my opinion, did not behave in accordance with their ideals.This criticism was not without its favorable influence on me; it provoked my own reflections.