Chapter 8 Chapter Six A Tragedy (Part 1)

When I was in middle school, at different times, there were two people who could be regarded as my confidantes among the few friends I had.My friendship with one of them was not long; it wasn't that I deserted him, but because he stopped my association after I made another friend.My relationship with this second friend was one of the tragedies of my life.This friendship lasted a long time.I formed this friendship with him in the spirit of an innovator. This companion was originally my brother's friend.They are classmates.I know his faults, but I regard him as a loyal friend.My mother, my older brother and my wife all warned me that I had a bad friend.In order to maintain my dignity as a husband, I didn't listen to my wife's warnings, but I didn't dare to ignore the opinions of my mother and elder brother.But I defended that friend by saying to them, "I know he has flaws, as you say, but he also has strengths that you don't know about. He won't make me bad, because I made friends with him." It is to reform him. If he can correct himself, I believe he must be a promising person. Please don’t worry about me.”

I thought my words did not satisfy them, but they accepted my explanation and asked no further. Later I realized that my idea was wrong.A reformer should not maintain too close a relationship with the friend whom he reforms.True friendship is a unity of spirit, which is a rare thing in the world.Only friendships with like-mindedness are valuable and lasting.Friends influence each other, so that in friendship there is little room for reforming friends.I think that all exclusive intimate relationships should be avoided, because people are easy to accept bad influences, but not easy to accept good things.And whoever wants to be a friend of God must be alone, or else he must be a friend of the whole world.I may be wrong in my opinion, but my attempts to enlighten close friendships have failed.

When I first met this friend, Rajkot was in the throes of a "reform".He told me that many of our instructors eat meat and drink behind their backs.He also mentioned that many famous people in Rajkot belonged to the same group, and some of them were high school students. I was both surprised and sad.I asked him to tell me the whole story of these things.He explained: "We are a weak people because we don't eat meat. The British rule us because they eat meat. You know I'm physically strong and I run fast because I I am a meat eater. People who eat meat don't get blood tumors, and sometimes they get better by accident. Our teachers and other famous people are not stupid, they eat meat because they know the benefits of eating meat .You should do the same. Try it, it doesn't matter. You might as well try it and see how it works."

These words he preached for meat were not uttered all at once.This is the fine point of eloquence in the long discourses my friends are always trying to convince me of.My brother was already in the loop, so he supported my friend's argument.I am indeed much weaker in health than my brother and that friend.They were all sturdier, stronger, and braver than I was.The skills of this friend fascinated me.He can run incredibly fast long distances and is good at high and long jumps.He doesn't care about the corporal punishment imposed on him, no matter how severe it is.He often demonstrated his skills to me, and as a man is often fascinated when he sees talents that he does not have in others, so I was fascinated by this friend's skills.This gave me a strong desire to catch up with him.I can barely jump or run.Why shouldn't I be as strong as he is?And I am a coward: I am afraid of thieves, ghosts, and snakes; and this fear haunts me.I dare not go outside at night.Darkness is a terror to me.I could hardly sleep in the dark, for I was afraid of ghosts on one side, thieves on the other, and snakes on the other.Therefore, if there is no light in the room, I cannot sleep.How could I tell these fears to my wife who was sleeping next to me?At that time, she was no longer a child, but a young man.I know she's braver than me, and I'm ashamed of myself.She is not afraid of snakes and ghosts, and dares to go to any dark place.My friend caught all these weaknesses in me.He told me that he could catch a live snake with his hands, and he was not afraid of thieves or believe in ghosts.And all this, of course, is the result of eating meat.

A limerick by the Gujarat poet Namad is popular among my classmates.This doggerel is like this: the hero is corrected, the Indian is so small; the carnivore rules the people, and the high is wonderful. I was under the influence of it all and finally gave in.Only then did I gradually believe that eating meat was good, thinking that it would make me strong and courageous; that if the whole country ate meat uniformly, the British would be defeated. So we chose a day to start my experience.This matter must be done in secret.We Gandhis are all followers of Vishnu.My parents are even more convinced.They often go to the Haveli Temple to pay homage.Our family has its own temple, Gujarat is full of Jainism, and its influence can be felt everywhere.The Jain and Vishnu adherents of Gujarat have a disapproval and aversion to meat eating that is not found anywhere in India or outside India.I grew up in this tradition, and I am extremely filial to my parents.I know they will freak out if they find out that I broke my fast to eat meat.Besides, my love of truth makes me extremely cautious.At the time, I didn't know that if I ate meat, I would be cheating my parents.My mind, however, was inclined toward the cause of "innovation."I don't mean to obey my appetite, and it doesn't occur to me that meat has any particular good taste.I just want myself and my countrymen to be strong and brave so that the British can be brought down and India set free. I have never heard of the word "self-government".But I already understood the meaning of freedom.My zeal for "innovation" blinded me.And since it was done in secret, I convinced myself that simply keeping what I did from my parents wasn't a violation of the truth.