Chapter 2 introduction

Four or five years ago, at the suggestion of some of my closest colleagues, I agreed to write an autobiography.I had started to write, but the Bombay riots broke out before I could finish the first page, and the work came to a halt.A series of events ensued which finally led to my imprisonment in Yeravada Prison.Mr. Gerondas, who was in my prison at the time, asked me to put other things aside and finish my autobiography.I replied that I had made a program of study for myself, and that I had no intention of doing anything else until I had completed this program.In fact, I could actually finish my autobiography if I had served my sentence in Yeravda Prison, because I would have another year to write it after my release.At this time, Swami Anand made this suggestion again, and I had finished "A History of Nonviolent Resistance in South Africa", and I was going to write my autobiography for "New Life".Swami wanted me to write a book and publish it alone, but I didn't have the time.I can only write one chapter a week and go on like this, and every week I have to write something for New Life, so wouldn't it be nice to write an autobiography?Swami agreed to this approach, so I had to bite the bullet and do it.

Yet a God-fearing friend expressed his doubts to me on days of my silence.He said: "Why are you so reckless? Writing autobiography is a special practice of Westerners. Except for those who have been influenced by Westerners, I don't know anyone in the East who has written autobiography. And what do you want to write? What if Tomorrow you negate some principled things today. If you change today’s plan in the future, don’t those who act according to what you say or write will make mistakes? Don’t you think you can’t write something like an autobiography? , at least not writing now, wouldn’t it be better?”

This statement has some effect on me.My intention, however, was not to write a true autobiography.I just want to relate my countless experiences of experiencing the truth, because I have nothing else in my life but this experience, and it is true that the story takes the form of an autobiography.Yet I don't care what form the matter takes as long as every page of this story is about my experience.I believe, or at least this belief flatters me, that it will not be unprofitable for the reader to write about the relevant parts of all these experiences.My political experience is now known not only to India, but also to a certain extent to the "civilized" world.These experiences were of little value to me, and so the mahatma honor they earned for me was even less.This title has often pained me deeply; and I do not recall a time when it has ever pleased me.But of course I am willing to speak of my spiritual experiences, which are known only to me, and from which the power with which I have worked in politics has been derived.If these experiences are truly spiritual, then there is nothing to brag about.They only add to my modesty.The more I think and look back, the more distinctly I feel that I'm not good enough.What I want to achieve - what I have worked and strived for for thirty years - is self-realization, seeing God face to face, attaining Moksa.I live for this purpose, I live for this purpose, and I strive to achieve it.Everything I say and write, and all my political adventures, lead to this same end; but as I have always believed that what is possible to one is possible to all, so My experiments were not conducted behind closed doors but in public; and I do not think that this fact detracts from their spiritual value.There are some things that only a man and his Creator know.These, of course, can only be understood and cannot be expressed in words.The experiences I am about to speak of are not of this kind, but they are spiritual, or rather moral, since the essence of religion is morality.

Only those things that belong to religion and can be understood by adults and children are included in this story.As long as I can speak of these experiences in a calm and humble spirit, many other experiencers will find food for their march.I can't say that these experiences have been perfect.All I venture to claim is that of a scientific worker who, though he conducts experiments with extreme accuracy, foresight, and care, never dares to claim that his conclusions are final, but takes an open-minded attitude towards them.I have undergone deep self-reflection, searching myself again and again, and examining and analyzing every state of mind.Yet I am far from claiming that my conclusions are final and infallible.There's only one thing I dare to claim, and that's what I'm saying.To me, they are absolutely correct, and seem to be last for the time being.For otherwise I cannot act upon them, yet every step I take is to accept them, or to reject them, and to act upon them.And so long as my actions satisfy my reason and my conscience, I must act resolutely on my original conclusions.If I'm just discussing some academic principles, I certainly shouldn't write an autobiography.My purpose, however, is to illustrate various practical applications of these principles.I have titled the chapters I intend to write "Stories of My Experience of Truth."This of course includes the principles of nonviolence, celibacy, and other behaviors that are considered to be different from the truth.To me, however, truth is the supreme principle, which includes countless others.This truth not only refers to the truth of speech, but also refers to the truth of thought, not just the relative truth we understand, but the absolute truth, the eternal principle, that is, God.There are countless definitions of God because His manifestations are manifold.These manifestations amazed, awed, and at one point terrified me.Yet I worship God only as truth.I haven't found him yet, but I'm pursuing him.In order to achieve this wish, I would rather sacrifice my most precious things.Even if the sacrifice required is my life, I hope I can give it.However, as long as I cannot realize this absolute truth, I must stick to the relative truth as I understand it.That relative truth must at the same time be my radiance, talisman, and shield, and though the path is as straight as a knife's edge, narrow and sharp, it is the quickest and easiest for me.Even the Himalayan mistakes I made seemed trivial to me because I was so good at it.For this path has freed me from sorrow, and I have followed my light.Often as I went along I caught glimpses of the Absolute Truth, a sliver of God, and that only He is real and all else is untrue, a belief that grew within me every day.Let those who will know how this belief grew in me; if they can, let them share my experiments, and also my beliefs.A further belief has been growing in me: that whatever is possible to me is possible even to a child, and I have good reason to say so.The tools of the quest for truth are as simple as they are difficult.To a pompous man they seem utterly impossible, but to an innocent child they are quite possible.Those who pursue the truth should be more humble than dust.The world may trample the dust under its feet, but those who pursue the truth must be humble enough to be trampled by the dust.Only then, and only then, can he catch a glimpse of the truth.The dialogue between Zhifu and Miaoyou illustrates this point extremely clearly.Christianity and Islam also amply demonstrate this problem.

If anything I have written in these pages arouses pride in the reader, he should be sure that there must be something wrong in what I am after, and that what I have glimpsed is only a mirage.Let thousands like me perish, but let the truth prevail.Don't let a being like me, who judges mistakes by a tiny margin, lower the standard of truth. I hope and beseech that the opinions expressed in the following chapters will not be taken as authoritative.Some of the experiences here described may be regarded as a diagram, with reference to which each one may experiment according to his inclination and ability.I believe these diagrams would be really helpful if confined to this; for I neither intend to gloss over nor to minimize any scandal which should be said.I wish to fully inform the reader of all my errors.My purpose is to describe my experience in the science of nonviolent resistance, not to say how good a person I am.In my own judgments I will be as strict and true as possible, because I want others to be like this.Measuring myself according to this standard, I must cry out with Sudra: Where is there a bad person, evil and annoying like me?I have abandoned my Maker, I am a man of no faith.

Because I was still so far away from him, it pained me terribly.I fully understand that he rules every breath of my life and that I am his descendant.I know that the reason I am so far away from him is that I still have bad feelings, but I can't get rid of them completely. But I have to stop here.I had to start the real story in the next chapter.Muk Gandhi at Sabarmati College on November 26, 1925.