Chapter 15 Chapter Sixteen

——Innocence is a perishable feeling Interview time: 9:00 AM, January 13, 1998 Interview location: "Beijing Youth Daily · Youth Weekly" office Name: Song Yu Gender: Female Age: 3l years old Graduated from a university in Beijing with a bachelor's degree in computer science. After marriage, he worked for a company in Shijiazhuang. In 1993, he went to work in a company in Guangzhou. Looking back now, I can't even find out what attracted me to him. I asked a question that I didn't dare to think about at ordinary times: "Do you have someone else outside?" He said "Yes".I was really overwhelmed—it was probably at this time that I began to know how to be kind to myself—to be honest, I was also very disappointed, how could I lose to such a woman?——I can’t believe how the 10-year relationship turned into such an impatient breakup and joyful waiting for divorce—the two people acted like a play, and “everything complied with the legal procedures and the marriage was declared over”——One day Only when someone was there to care about me did I feel that I was really alone all these years - and I just went away.he has since disappeared

On January 10, 1998, I received this letter: settle down: Hello! I have been suppressed for a long time, and I always want to find someone to talk about.Returning to Beijing from Guangzhou, I found that I was also a stranger in my hometown. Every time I read your interview, it fuels the desire to talk to you. In Guangzhou for three full years, I have experienced too much.I wanted to go back to Beijing to heal my wounds, but who knew I would create something new.I really can't understand, and I can't figure out how to understand the world and men now. Since September 1996, my life has undergone tremendous changes. ...

Materially, I have nothing, and mentally, I am even more scarred.Sometimes if it is not for the sake of my elderly parents, I really want to leave this world.But I must live! I hope you will listen to my story.Thanks! Song Yu 97.12.16 I immediately found her according to the phone number she left.On the phone, she said that she was over 30 years old, divorced, and had no children.She worked in Guangzhou for a while, and now works as a "store manager" in an optical shop. She doesn't like this job, but she has to do it in order to survive. On the morning of January 13th, Songyu came on time.Tall, average-looking, very fair-skinned, a little shy when he smiles.If it weren't for knowing some of her personal situation in advance, I wouldn't think she was a woman who had "traveled in the rivers and lakes".

After each took their seats, she didn't speak immediately, but quickly stood up and walked towards the purse she had put on another chair, while her tears were already running down her cheeks.What she covered was a thick stack of tissues.Only then did I realize that Song Yu's eyes were very red, and it was definitely not the imprint left by the tears in front of my eyes.I didn't dare to ask her if she cried after we put down the phone the night before. I thought about it for a long time, and I didn't know what to say, because there were simply too many things about me. Song Yu's voice choked for a while.

I also wonder why I am like this, I am quite hopeless.I read a lot of your articles, and what I value the most is that you never comment, never say "yes" or "no". At the beginning, I was just like everyone else, he was my college classmate and my first love.Looking back up to now, I can't even find out what attracted me to him.But it hurt me so much... Every time I face a person who just met crying in front of me, I don't know how to comfort her.I just blindly said that what I have is patience, and asked her to calm down slowly and speak to him slowly.I know that every crying story is heart-wrenching, lingering and haunting.

I've actually been writing something because I don't want people to know too much about me... At that time, the feeling may be the same as that of any girl in first love. She didn't care about anything, and she abandoned Beijing when she graduated and went to Shijiazai.He was assigned to work as a computer in the confidential department of the Public Security Bureau, and I worked as a manager in a company.After a few years of living like this, it should be pretty good.He has a weakness that he cannot control himself.When others talked about drinking, he would drink until he vomited blood; when playing cards, he would keep playing without going home for two nights.There is no house, and as he moved... Later, his unit was assigned a small house, he went to play more, and I was more alone.He didn't have a phone or a pager, and he didn't know where he went. He disappeared for a day or two.I was very annoyed.Our relationship is rocky.

At the end of 1993, one of our classmates was working as the supervisor of the engineering department of a very famous company in Guangzhou. I hoped that he would go there, but he went regardless. I stayed at Shijia.I later found out that he told my classmate that he left the Shi family because it was irreparable with me. He went to Guangzhou in March 1994, and I went to see him on my annual leave in May.I have never been separated, I am really worried, he is someone I am used to taking care of!When I arrived in Guangzhou, I was very sad to see him in that situation. Songyu cried again, unable to bear it.I really want to ask her why she is crying now.I guess it wasn't because she was reliving the predicament of her ex-husband in her mind.I kind of hope she's crying for her own innocence.

When I actually settled down, I found that he was very tired at work and often traveled on business, and the company stipulated that within 400 kilometers, he had to go back and forth on the same day, so sometimes he came back at two o'clock in the middle of the night and had to go to work the next morning. I returned to Beijing from Guangzhou.He went to Beijing for training in July and stayed together for a week.He seems to have changed during this time, he wrote a letter to me, reviewing how our actions over the past few years have affected our relationship. ladder to climb.Of course I was very happy to see this. At that time, many people disapproved of me going to Guangzhou with him, because he hadn’t settled down yet, but I felt that his life really needed me, so I took a leave of absence without pay.This suspension without pay was not approved until I got on the train. At that time, if I didn't approve it, I would have left, and I only wanted to find him.

He told me not to look for a job first, so I went to the International Trade Department of Guangzhou University of Foreign Languages, which is a three-year junior college, and I went directly to the third grade.The 3,500 yuan my parents gave me was just enough for my tuition.His salary is more than 4,000 per month. We found a house by ourselves, plus my school expenses and family expenses, life is very tight.We were not rich at that time, but over the years I think he treats me best at this time.When I go to school, he always asks me to take a taxi. It costs more than 60 yuan on the way, because he thinks it is too tiring to change buses many times.

My graduation grades are very good. In order not to let him bear the burden of the family alone, I am anxious to find a job.That was in 1995, I was admitted to a company, and the boss appreciated me very much.The purpose of my coming to Guangzhou is to find him. I don’t know how to ask for salary and so on. Giving me 1,500 yuan is enough.I did very well in the company. I was originally a computer student. Because of my excellent work, I bought a computer for my own use after a few months. I programmed some programs for material management.The boss of this company is a very willful old man. When he found out that I was indeed doing a good job, he took advantage of the salary increase at the end of the year to increase my salary to 3,000 yuan.I am also very happy.

For the first time, Song Yu had a relaxed expression on his face.I found that she was also shy when she smiled, which was extremely disproportionate to her age and experience.Thinking of this, I am more or less sad. Those so-called people who have been in the sea who are interviewed by me often have an expression of unexpected innocence, and innocence is so fragile and fragile. All my energy is still on the family, and the relationship with the work unit is very general.Every day after work, I rush to buy vegetables and cook, thinking that there is another person waiting for me at home, who is very warm and responsible. Because he has arrived in a new environment, he is full of work and not in a bad mood. Our relationship is getting better every day, and some people around us who also came to the south to venture into the world are very envious.This kind of life continued until April 1996 when two of his colleagues passed through Guangzhou. He invited these two people to dinner that day and asked me to go home first.This is also my boss' usual method. The girls go home after work, and the men stay and go to karaoke bars or bars together.His colleagues may not realize that something is going to happen, and I must go with him.So we arrived at a beer city.Sit down and start drinking. What I'm most afraid of is this kind of time, he will drink to death, but I can't say it because of face.He asked me to go to the International Building to withdraw money, saying that he would have a good drink today.I went. Back to the moment of Beer City... Song Yu turned his face to the side. I don't even know how to describe it.He put his arms around a lady.I didn't say anything, just sat beside me indifferently.His colleagues asked me: "Why don't you smoke him?" I still had nothing to say, this society or Guangzhou is like this. When we got home, he couldn't tell the difference between east and west, and I dragged him upstairs.He didn't say anything, I sat in the living room, took out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, and smoked one after another, and I went to work the next day.He called me after nine o'clock and said: "I know I was wrong, and you have given me a lot of face." I made a request that day, I have never been anywhere after being married to him for so many years, and I want to go to Beihai on a business trip with him.It was a plane at two o'clock in the afternoon, and I didn't bring anything with me.When we arrived in Beihai, he played with me, just like usual quarreling, and passed.There were times of disagreement between us, but never for more than one night.This time, it is probably because we can't let go of the common life we ​​have lived together for so many years.After all, it has not reached the point of breaking up.I told myself it was because he was used to playing in the past, and he was lonely here.This way I started bringing him into my circle of friends and he became friends with some of my colleagues. The bosses still have the old habit, the girls go home after dinner, and the men stay.He also stayed with me, I was disgusted, but there is no way, the men there are such a way of life, so that they are happy. In August, when my boss celebrated his birthday, he also went to dinner together, and then went to the karaoke bar.My boss met his girlfriend on this day. The corner of Song Yu's mouth was slanted, and he smiled mockingly and helplessly. It was a karaoke lady. One Sunday in September, I asked him to go grocery shopping with me.Shopping in Guangzhou is very hard, the road is long, and every time my fingers are strangled.He refused, I was angry and went out alone, had dinner outside and bought new clothes, as if I was really chic for a while.Back home, he's not there.I waited until after ten o'clock and still haven't come back.Never been like this. He came back after twelve o'clock, and when he entered the door, he pulled up the sofa in the living room and lay down on it.Not a word.I asked what I was doing wrong and he said nothing.I immediately realized that he had been picking on me almost all the time, so I asked something that I would never dare to think about: "Do you have someone else outside?" He said "Yes".I'm really shocked that such a trusted person would do such a thing... He said that there is no way to explain the relationship.He said that he had considered everything calmly: "This girl is the best girl I have ever met in my life." I asked her what she did, and he started to make up, that she sold cosmetics and met while promoting ,etc.He said: "When this girl wants to laugh, she can laugh regardless, and when she wants to talk, she can keep talking..." I immediately asked if she was a "Miss", and he denied it.In fact, without doing any research, I knew it must be a "chicken". The next day I went to dance and drink with my colleagues, and everyone thought it was strange.I couldn't help but go home after nine o'clock.He is here, and my late return has no effect on him. He is sitting in the living room with the BP machine and mobile phone aside.I said let's talk again, maybe my life is too monotonous, going to get off work, getting off work, shopping for vegetables, cooking, washing clothes, cleaning the floor... There is no entertainment, maybe it is too depressing for him, but I I really want to take care of my family more.He said nothing.After eleven o'clock, the BP machine suddenly rang, and he went to the balcony to make a call. It was the girl.I wondered if she had encountered something and needed help at such a late hour, but he said it was fine.Turn off the lights and lie down and can't fall asleep.After one o'clock, the BP machine rang again, and he went to the balcony to make a phone call.I asked what was the matter, and he said, "It's okay, she just missed me." Song Yu laughed out loud, an empty laugh.Tears flowed down her cheeks silently, and fell on her chest drop by drop. I was very angry at the time, so I asked him: "She doesn't see me as a human being too much, does she know I exist?" He said that she knew everything, and knew that it was too much to do so in front of me.After that the girl called again.I was in a bad mood the next day.My boss asked me and I just said it.In the evening, colleagues invited him to dinner, just to persuade him to make peace.He was noncommittal.My boss also thinks that girl is not a serious person, because no one can compare to me when it comes to being wise, and I am surrounded by people who are educated. Why does this person make him feel so novel?My boss asked him, and he was very frank, saying that it was the lady from the karaoke shop he often went to. He drank a lot that night, and when others sent him home, he couldn't go upstairs, sat on the side of the road and cried loudly, saying that everyone lied to him and hurt him.I thought that the girl had changed her mind, so I walked over and hugged him and said, "Everything is over, and we are still the same as before." He still refused to go home.One of my classmates asked me to go home first, so I followed him.I waited all night and he didn't come back.Later I learned that they went to the girl's place. From that day on, he never came home again.During this time, friends kept persuading him to reconcile with me. People didn't understand that the girl was unreliable, but that's what it meant.He just talked about my badness and said that he couldn't communicate with me because I resisted him going out to play.My colleague felt that he was immature, so he advised me to change my life, stop thinking only about him, and make my life easier.It was probably at this time that I started to know how to treat myself well, buy myself some decent clothes, eat out and go shopping with my friends... But I still feel very bad, I just can't figure out why it became like this.At that time, I couldn't sleep every day, and I took seven or eight sleeping pills, but it still didn't work.My boss brought me BLACKLABEL from Hong Kong. It is a very strong wine, and he asked me to drink a little every day.But I drank one bottle in almost two days, so that I could numb myself, sleep, and not cry.I couldn't find him, and it was useless to call him or call him on the cell phone. At that time, I still wanted not to affect him, so I didn't call his work unit. One day he called me and asked me how I was doing.At that time, I suddenly thought of many details of our life together, and began to persuade myself to admit my mistakes, so that I could maintain this family.When I was thinking this way, he finally said, "You can lend me five thousand yuan." Song Yu laughed again.Every time she smiles like this, it makes me feel boundless sadness. I know he should have money, and his salary plus other things is at least 10,000 yuan. How come he has nothing in just a few days?What kind of woman is that? !At that time, my friends and I knew that the woman still went out when he was at work, so everyone made fun of him and said: "I was prostituted enough during the day, and I came back to you to talk about feelings at night." In fact, he was her A guarantee of room and board.No matter what I say, he just wants money.I still agreed to him.My classmates all scolded me, saying that if he has the ability to do it, he should have the ability to bear it. How can he use his wife's money to support such a person?I still feel a little uncomfortable, after all, I don't want others to say bad things about him.One of my classmates told me that he started borrowing money from them early on to buy clothes for girls.They couldn't tell me that he had been with that girl for more than a year, and I didn't know anything about it. He didn't want to see me and told me to put the money on the table and he would come back and get it himself.That day was August 15th, and I was sitting at home waiting for him.He came back and said he was going on a business trip.I said, "I'll see you off, today is August 15th." I started crying again.I told him: "It's okay for us to separate, but you must not find a girl like this... she will never find a serious job. She is really a chicken, she has been doing this since she was a teenager, and she knows how to deal with you . "He said that there is definitely a true relationship between them.At that time, I felt that there was really nothing to look forward to, and I said, "I don't allow you to maintain a relationship with me while raising her." He pointed to my nose and said, "From the perspective of academic qualifications and social experience, They are much better than her, but why is your outlook on life like this? She is not like this, she always lives so optimistic and relaxed, and you are so heavy!" I may not be calm, so I stopped him loudly: "Don't Compare me to her! I'm a human, she's a chicken!" After saying this, he left, but I still remember the scene at that time.I also don't understand how he could fall in love with such a woman and compare me with her.But to be honest, I am also very disappointed. How could I lose to such a woman? Songyu paused for about three or four minutes, and looked at me while wiping his face with a tissue.Her expression showed that until now, she still didn't really understand what she lost to, whether it was the "Miss" or the environment that allowed "Miss" to do whatever they wanted freely. In November, I found him, and there should be a break between us, but now this is not possible.He came just before midnight that day, and he said he didn't think about the past: "I'm too tired living with you. You just ask me to learn this and that, and I can't stand it." We decided to divorce. Although very determined, but I do feel very sad.It was such a failure for me.Just such a girl... Song Yu brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. At this time, my boss invited me to dinner. He said that the relationship was not going well, which happened to be an opportunity to do business, and he promoted me to be the deputy general manager.After I actually achieved this position, many ordinary things became different, because after all, everyone's interests were involved in it, and conflicts at work began to emerge.I worked hard, but I offended some people, and the work enriched me, but it didn't change my state of mind.The reason why I didn't resign is because I really don't want to part with my home. I built it up bit by bit with hard work, and I bought everything myself, with great effort.If I go, maybe he will come back to live with that woman.I don't want to, and he also made such a request, I refused. On his birthday, I bought him an expensive shirt and invited him out for dinner.Probably because I have a feeling of not admitting defeat in my heart. It is such a kind of woman that he is still so persistent. I don't understand why.That time was not very pleasant either. His attire and state were quite different from before. He was very sloppy and there was a hole in his trousers.I used to take care of his suits and shirts, and now it's like this.But he firmly believed that this woman would change her way of life for him.We parted badly. In December, he called to ask for a divorce and had already booked a vacation.I had to ask for leave too. On December 24, 1995, we boarded the train back to Shi's home.I was quite happy in the car, playing cards all the way, jokingly saying, "Everyone travels to get married, and we travel to get divorced."I can't believe how the ten-year relationship turned into such an impatient breakup and joyful waiting for divorce.When the train arrived at Zhengzhou Station, I couldn't help but burst into tears. Song Yu swallowed and couldn't continue.Her cry was like a small but sharp claw, slowly but vigorously scraping across my heart.I also couldn't figure out whether it was the sudden appearance of an irresponsible woman that made the man distracted, or whether it was the man who was destined not to belong to the obligated woman, all of which just needed an opportunity. He wouldn't let me cry, saying this is not the place to talk about things, "what's there to cry"? When I arrived at Shi's house, a friend of mine came to pick me up, because I really didn't know where to go back, and I had no home.His parents also came to pick him up at the station that day, so I went back to his house.It was already past five o'clock in the morning, and I lay down to rest after drinking some water.When he was still asleep, he called me up for dinner. It turned out that he found an acquaintance in his family and met people in the court, so that the divorce could be completed quickly. Song Yu gave me another bitter smile through her tearful eyes. The man drove us to the court. For some reason, the court seemed to be reluctant to do business.After explaining for a long time, I said, "These two people came all the way to get a divorce." Then we asked us to register in a fake manner, and then asked: "Who is the plaintiff? Who is the defendant?" I said that if I became the defendant, I would It has become a kind of joke, let me be the plaintiff.Later, I said it was serious, but in fact it was all arranged in advance. I asked the reasons one by one. I said it was because of a third party. I asked him whether he agreed or not, and he said yes.The presiding judge said: "Even if you agree, I won't write it like this. If you write it like this, you may be inseparable. I still have to investigate and so on. Let's do it, just write it according to your disagreement." The two of them acted like a play. Just "everything is in accordance with legal procedures, the marriage is declared over".Sometimes I don't really believe in the law. I even have to go to someone to arrange a divorce, just to get two pieces of paper to prove that we have nothing to do with each other. How can I believe it? After New Year's Day, I returned to Guangzhou.My personality has also changed a lot. Every day I have to go to social gatherings, drinking, singing, and relaxing.At that time, I also had some real friends who accompanied me during my most difficult time.Thinking about it now, it seemed like I was squandering at that time. Apart from paying rent and eating, the rest of the money I earned was used to buy clothes and entertainment.But I know that the scars in my heart cannot be changed.It has almost become a habit. Every night, I have to drink alcohol or take sleeping pills to go to bed. At three o'clock, I will definitely be awakened by a nightmare, and then I will walk back and forth in the living room, encouraging myself not to cry. At this time, some people started to bully me.In my unit, I managed more and more things, and many people felt that I surpassed them and took away their opportunities.There are constant troubles at work, it can be said that it is not going well.I am alone in Guangzhou, and I am not short of money, but after all, I have no family and no support.The things I encountered should be said to be likely to be encountered by many single women. My boss, 64 years old, had some thoughts about me, and I was very disgusted with him.A friend of mine once advised me that this is an opportunity that many girls can't find, but I don't think I am that kind of person.Once on the street, I ran into my ex-husband, and he took the woman shopping.I felt very uncomfortable, why would he walk around the streets with a chicken?And his appearance is not as good as before.My boss and I had more and more misunderstandings and it was almost impossible to work together.All of these things together made me feel that there was no place for people to stay in Guangzhou, and I was very confident that I would go back to Beijing, so in July 1997, I resigned. Song Yu said this very plainly, obviously she didn't want to talk more.This is indeed a common experience, and some of my female interviewees who are still single have almost invariably reported this kind of thing. "sexual harassment".They generally think that this is unavoidable, because the other party has reasons to think "you need it" from all angles, and it seems that this is a safe group that is the easiest to be lured and abandoned.Song Yu said that her boss probably thought so too. I think I'd better go back to Beijing.There is a home to deal with, a full set of electrical appliances, computers, a full set of furniture, and many things.At that time, my mood was also very relaxed. Anyway, I will go home soon, and when I come back, I can make another breakthrough with my ability.After selling everything, I got to know him who was once a national sports champion—a friend of a good friend of mine, who was working in Beijing and was going back to Beijing at that time. At that time, there was nothing left in my house. There was a white sheet on the floor on which I slept, a few stools and a table.It was very hot.I felt relieved at the time.Everyone went out to eat together, and he was there too.I don't know why he was a little drunk, so I walked outside with him.When we went back to the place to eat, the people had already left.He kept grabbing my hand and jokingly said, "You can't escape anyway." His hand was very strong.He asked me a lot about myself that day, but I didn't want to talk about it, because I really wanted to forget all the unpleasant things from my heart.He also talked about himself. He was also divorced. His ex-wife treated his parents very badly and felt that following him would have no future.The divorce was very helpless. When they got married, the woman was already pregnant, and it was not until after they got married that they found out that it was not suitable. He is not familiar with Guangzhou, I don't know where to send him.He said he wanted to come to my house, I thought about it and could only agree.That was the day I lost my phone.He comforted me and said, "It's okay, I'll buy you a new one when we get back to Beijing." We talked for a long time that day, and at first we sat on the floor of the room.I was in a bad mood, seeing a good home disappear like this, and recalling many things from the past.To be honest, he gave me a good feeling. Compared with my ex-husband, he belongs to the kind of very happy man who can explain many things clearly.It was too hot, so we moved to the rooftop to continue chatting.At that time, I suddenly had a feeling that there was rarely such a romantic time when someone could sit on the roof with me at night and listen to me talk about the pain that has been in my heart for these years, and he is a person who shares the same fate as me. people.Looking around, the moon was very close to me, and I said, "I will never forget this night." He said the same thing.From that moment on, I felt that I really needed someone as tough as him to protect me too.As soon as it was dawn, I went to the telecommunications bureau to report the loss of my mobile phone.I am used to doing everything on foot by myself, and the traffic in Guangzhou is also very chaotic. He would give me a hand from time to time to avoid the oncoming cars.It was only when there was someone caring about me that I felt that I was really lonely all these years, I was always standing up, and I really needed a shoulder to lean on.I feel better about him. The purpose of his coming to Guangzhou was to reverse the motorcycle, but he didn't bring enough money.A friend gathered some and it was not enough, so I borrowed it from me.Because I was an acquaintance and had that feeling with him, I lent it to him. We returned to Beijing together.This person looks rough, but he is actually very meticulous, taking care of me every bit of it.I don't think he's faking it. He has not been very smooth after retiring, and he really wants to change his career to do business.At this time, I only had more than 10,000 yuan left in my hand, and after adding some belongings, there would be nothing left.Because I knew they would pay me back, I didn't rush to find a job.Walking with him on the street every day, watching Beijing with him, I also re-adapted to this environment.I had a great time during that time, and I felt that this person was also very trustworthy.After two months like this, his mood became very low, and he spent a lot of money, but the business was still short of money.I really don't have the strength to help him any more. Seeing him pessimistic makes me sad too.He was only more than 10,000 yuan short, and I sighed and sighed with him every day, and this emotion was brought home.Later my mother found out that it was also for me, borrowing money from a neighbor and asking him to pay it back in a month. We are all very happy. On September 25, I took the money and waited for him at the station of No. 66 at Hufangqiao.When he arrived, he also deliberately dressed up, wearing the suit he played in the game and blowing his hair.He refused to let me take it off, saying that a friend was waiting, and he said: "Everything will be fine when I come back." He also told me to treat myself well, "If you miss me, call my pager in Wuhan." I went on After getting in the car, he still said that he would call me as soon as he arrived in Wuhan tomorrow.I just left, and he has since disappeared. Song Yu stopped talking, and I asked him if he had any news about that person, and she shook her head.All the contact information he left, cell phone and pager were all invalid, and this person disappeared without a trace as if he had never appeared before.I looked for Songyu's mood at the moment, but she stubbornly lowered her head and refused to reveal anything.After an unknown period of time, she let out a long breath. Now, I have nothing, and I have to pay back the money for him, month by month. It was almost two o'clock in the afternoon when Songyu finished telling her story, and I remembered that we had hardly left our chairs since we sat down.I said let's go to McDonald's, and she followed me out of the newspaper office obediently. I don't know when it started to snow, and the small white ice scum fell all over his face, which instantly turned into tears like water droplets.I still called a taxi for the short distance, the weather was too cold, and the story was too cold. Song Yu asked me while eating: "Tell me, could he be in Beijing? I've read articles about personal bodyguards, is he also doing this?" I don't think this person will appear again, But did not say.I wanted to relax, so I praised Songyu's sweater for its beauty, and she smiled sadly: "I don't have any winter clothes, and I don't have money to buy them. These clothes belong to my old mother inside and out... ..." After we broke up, I walked aimlessly along the wet pavement, only a pale face was left on Songyu's face, but the looming innocence was very clear, even though this perishable feeling gave her infinite love. devastated.I guess she must have been very stubborn and therefore extremely difficult in keeping this. A week later, Songyu called me and asked me to help her find the contact information of the bodyguard in an article published in our newspaper. I really wanted to persuade her not to use it in vain, but finally I couldn't bear it.I gave her the pager number of the publishing editor.