Chapter 2 run away together

We met at Charing Cross and sailed across the gray Channel with hopes and sorrows alike.All that existed was the gray water, the overcast sky, the bumpy ferry, and the two of us. We are in Metz.Before the war, it belonged to Germany.My father was an official there for 50 years.There are three generations of grandparents and grandchildren in the family, all in one place.For this reason, I also stayed in the same hotel where Lawrence stayed.It was kind of crazy then.The band played a melody celebrating my father's half century of official life, and there were several telegrams from the British side.While I was worried about Lawrence, I also thought about the situation of the children.My mother is going to live with me.My loving father said to me very worriedly, "Daughter, what are you going to do? I always thought you were a reasonable girl. I know the world very well." I replied, "Maybe so, but, Dad doesn't know the most precious things." I mean, he should know what the most precious things are.

At that time, Metz had a free market.My sister, Joanna, and I wandered among the sheds called "Turk's Delight," looking at snake charmers, girls in flesh-colored leotards, and pots and pans and sundries. Joanna, known as "Naxi", is beautiful, elegant, and extremely outstanding; in a word, she is fashionable.At this time, Lawrence suddenly appeared on the corner of the street.He had on a hat and a coat, and he looked so weird, and I wondered what my sister would think of him. At first, no one except his sister noticed Lawrence's existence.Lawrence and I were walking in the fortress of Metz one afternoon.The sentry suspected that he was a British officer and came up to touch his shoulder.To get out of this trouble I had to turn to my father for help.In this way, the secret was revealed.So I just took Lawrence home for tea.He only met my father once at my house.The two looked at each other coldly—the father was an aristocrat, and Lawrence was the son of a miner.

Father offered Lawrence a cigar in an unfriendly manner.That night, I dreamed that my father had a duel with Lawrence, and my father was wounded. Lawrence knew that he couldn't bear the tense atmosphere of Mace, so he went to Rhineland.And I stayed in Metz. I have here several letters from Lawrence to me which may illustrate some of the circumstances of the time. Eastwood, Tuesday I felt utterly terrified and powerless.I know that you are also depressed by this, almost desperate.What seemed innocuous yesterday can become a big problem today.And there is still no hope of improvement.There is no other way but to grit your teeth, face the wall and concentrate, and wait.

You said you are going to G tomorrow.However, these circumstances are unknown to me, so I would like to know the details of that train.When are you going to Germany?What time, what time and the carriage number?Please notify me as soon as possible.Otherwise, I can't do anything.I'll see you at whatever time you say - but please let me know. There must be a whirlpool of madness inside of you.I feel like a big fool who has no support, no way out, lost and confused.I am younger than you, can you please give me some clear instructions.I beg to do everything possible for you in this life.But I can't do anything.I thought well yesterday, but today I can't - this is my premonition.I'm afraid of those low-level, mud-drilling, eels that bite with their teeth and things like that.I feel we would be suffocating in England.It would be great if I could go and see you.If I can't go, can you come?

D. H. Lawrence Queens Square Eastwood, Nottinghamshire May 2, 1912 I will be in Kingscross tomorrow at 1:25.How about this arrangement?You know, I can't go today, I have to wait for the laundry and tailors.Getting ready for Friday, so Thursday is out of the question.Please forgive me if things don't go well because of this.Are you going to Kingscross by yourself?Or send someone else?Or give me a quick call?How to do it?Now this situation makes me feel uneasy. I always think about you.Is this an insult?What's more, I can't rest assured until I see you.I only have 11 pounds.A man borrowed 25 pounds from me, and he is in a difficult situation, and I don't want to press him to repay the debt.In short, 11 pounds is enough for two people to go to Metz.In the future, just use your brain a little bit.God, as Garnett said, "making history" is not the happiest thing these days.If I knew your specific situation, I wouldn't have the slightest concern.However, this is not the case. Although I am happy, I am full of worries.

See you tomorrow, see you tomorrow, see you tomorrow. D. H. Lawrence PS: I haven't said anything to anyone.Ah, but what about you?Mace heavy rain!I suppose you haven't been out during this continuous downpour.I made up my mind to go out--it's 9:15.I don't know where you live.So if I don't see you, I'll put it in number 4.Because it's the closest, okay? If I don't see you, I won't see you today.Because today is the holiday.For me, that's fine.Even if it is bad, there is no other way. If the rain stops for a while, I'm going to the country - I'll be back around 2:30.I can get things done as quickly as I want.

Don't you want to leave Metz?Please tell Elsa I'm not mad.Why should I be angry?You're the embodiment of kindness, and it's possible for someone to piss you off.However, I hope to make things right for both of them. Please don't fall in love with me by misjudgment—but please stop treating me like a mean man.I was thinking about you this morning.You're smart, you're kind, and you've brought me back to health.You don't need that.I don't know if I'm going to lunch with you tomorrow - but I'm in your hands - as in "O father, I give my soul into your hands".You can do what you want, which is fine.Especially on whether I go to your father's house or not.Your mind is my mind in this matter.

I love you—but it can't be said that it's always been that way.And that's just my Englishness. Say hello to your sister.I have something to ask your sister—I don't want you to know, but—"Can you pity me?" Oops, I'm digressing.It has nothing to do with these days—what happens, what doesn't happen, my side is more suitable,—it doesn't matter.But if you stick your fingers out and count the number of days you've lived in Germany and compare that to the number of days you've spent in Nottingham, you'll know what's going on.That you—(not I say)—sold a pound of gold for pennies for pennies.No, it's not that you did that - it's that that's being done.

Please don't get angry.Otherwise, I—that’s the case—go to a monastery or something—so the hotel has as much dignity as a monastery. I let you go, this is the last time.So please make good use of this day and be happy. Tuesday I can't take it anymore, can't take it anymore. 2 hours of no muscle movement - just sitting there thinking.I wrote a letter to E.Of course, you don't have to write it.But you must tell him everything I have said.That way we won't be discredited and gossip-ridden.Let them do their thing--the stupidest thing--but there is nothing more reckless, lying, slandering, and dreadful.I'm about to suffocate.It's not all about slacking off, procrastinating, or whatever.I can't stand it because it's evil.I love you and no matter what happens, I will get it done.However, I can't bear to hide in the dirt like this.

I'm afraid I'm exaggerating.I have many things to do, but I can't.This situation is like a rope binding my body.This situation cannot be allowed to continue.If you're okay, I'll be out right away.You stay in Metz until you get a real answer from E.I don't want to lie about it one bit, though, and I don't want you to either. I'm not kidding.I don't want to laugh, and I don't want to take it lightly because of you.The situation is like this, I am very distressed.I can't stand this situation -- yes, I don't want to.I love you so much. Please don't let any sister see this letter.Don't let them see it.We are both kind.You are pure, but it is a pity that you got your feet dirty.I will sign as you call me - Mr. Lawrence.

Don't be pessimistic - because if I don't love you, I don't care if you're lying. However, I am in love with you.For this, God, I will pay the price. Hotel Reinscher Hof, Trier May 8, 1912 I got here - and ate - and it went very well.It was a small hotel—he seemed to be running, entertaining, guiding, and everything else by himself.This guy - speaks English, French, German fluently - obviously he's been in a foreign style restaurant - he's nice and quick - things are cheap here too - his wife (the two are a young couple) Beer was served - very good.Room rate per person - including breakfast - 2.55 marks a day.It was much nicer and more elegant than the room I had in Hof, Germany.The second floor - with two beds - is chic.By now, you must come here, you should come.How about it?You're going to be my wife—you see, haven't they stopped writing to you?I also sent it to you at my residence secretly.However, you have not yet come to me.I love Trier - Trier is not so weird and mixed as Metz - new town, old town, barracks, monastery, Montaigne.Here the whole city is full of green trees, antique and beautiful.How nice it would be if you wanted to come and live.The valley on the way here is full of blooming apple trees, a bright red wind blows up like smoke from an explosion, and on the next hills are pointed grape vines, like hedgehogs. I very love you.Indeed, on another morning I fear other tragedies.And the two of us only have enough money to live for two weeks, not to mention we don't know what will happen in the future.But even so, I'm happy, I'm happy, and I think it would be even better if you could come and live here.You are coming.It's very different here than Mace, which bores me. The people who live in this hotel are all men - businessmen.They have an eye for good quality and low price.They picked the best deal.It must be right here for you too.Even if there is a masculine atmosphere, you won't mind it. I have the feeling that I'm totally a world figure.Although I harbor evil thoughts of waiting for other people's wives in my heart.But I think I must do that.It doesn't matter, because there is neither marriage nor getting stuck in marriage in heaven. You should write sooner - it seems to be late.Come early Thursday morning.May I ask if there is a letter addressed to me from "Black Hash" in Hof, Germany.I love you - and Els - and I don't know how to thank her. D. H. Lawrence Leinscher Hof Trier - Thursday Another day was coming—just in time for sunset.Trier is a nice city and this is a nice hotel.The owner is an arrogant little man, but he is very kind.He has lived in many countries and he prides himself on being multilingual.He speaks excellent English.He is about 35 years old.Now, when I come in—evening—he asks me, "Are you tired?" I smile and don't say anything. "I'm a little tired," he added very graciously.I thought it was interesting.He wants to do what my boyfriends have always wanted to do.Ask me worthless things about your body. I wrote a newspaper editorial that had never been printed by anyone in the world.Because that's pretty straightforward.However, I don't care.Then I went for a hearty walk—I climbed a steep, precipitous hill facing the river.I'll take you there on Thursday - it's wonderful there.There are apple blossoms, rhododendrons and peach trees reflecting the sun everywhere.In spring, peach tree leaves look like they are bursting with light.You can pick a nice place for coffee.At the foot of the mountain and by the river are towns.From a distance, they look like a handful of rice husks or sawdust thrown out.There are always some little birds out there.I walked past the white lilies in full bloom, climbed over the top of the mountain, and walked among the various things on the hill.It's beautiful here.Then I lit a cigarette contentedly, and thought philosophically about love, life, battle, me and you.And then conceived the clues for the next novel.I asked a young monk for a fire in French because I had forgotten the German word for "match".He held the lit end of the cigarette towards me.There are not many soldiers here.I will never hate Trier.There are many monks in Trier, more than soldiers.The above is what I see - it's not the ethos of Christianity - and I'm interested in these things.The monastery is shabby, a cave, not a monastery inside - very strange, really original. Another day you will be here.I suddenly seemed to see your jaw.I like your jawline.At this time, I love you because you have such a beautiful jaw.It's ridiculous, isn't it? You have to go downstairs for dinner.I'm tired.I had a long walk and the stress of the day also contributed to the feeling... I had a dream about E - I don't want to go into details - and E was particularly angry with me.Then his mood calmed down, and I had to say good things to him.In the dream I was the devil.Because I don't sleep all night.People usually dream after 7 am. The sun was setting.I am writing this letter after entertaining friends and chatting with a little.You're here on Thursday, aren't you?What if you don't come.We have to wrestle with life all the time, so we should stop fighting among ourselves and help each other always.See you on Thursday - love you dearly D. H. Lawrence Trier landscape postcard, poke nicholas Here's your three-missed PokéNicolas.I think it's very clever.The journey to Waldbler is fantastic and a long detour - 7 hours.Now I'm in the Netherlands - Lechtreinich - coming from Koblenz.I'm going to Troisdorf - there is such a place - then to Hennef - and only then to Waldbler - four trains - 7 hours trip.Still, the Moselle valley is pretty.The Rhine is uniquely quintessentially German.I don't want to laugh, it's like acting.To write to me please send "Waldbler, Reinprowenz, Karl Kroenko". Is there any trouble again?This is my sentimental trip. love you D. H. Lawrence Trier landscape postcard, Basilica Now I'm in Hennef - this is where the last change took place. It's 8:30—an hour to go.So, like a melancholy lover, I sit by the babbling stream, waiting for the sun to set and my last train to arrive. We don't get to Waldbler until 11 - nine hours on the way, but it's the quickest way to go.Hennef is a nice place, it's very similar to England.It was starting to get dark.From today onwards, I can no longer be detached from the world.And, all I know is that I'm in love with you.Everything else doesn't exist.I realize now that my life vows to you make everything so full and fulfilling. D. H. Lawrence karl kroenko turn Waldbler Reinprovenz It's really nice here - Hannah is bubbly and very accommodating.Her husband is very kind. — not very funny.She didn't love him, but married him because she was over 30 and missed the wedding date.She is deeply in love with me--but please don't worry, because she is a woman worthy of all respect.This is real.And also "OparOpa" - I don't know how to spell it right - Stulchen is 73 years old - a lovely old man - very gentle, not a brut.Now he is so cute.Yesterday, there was a Kermesse in a village, on Sunday, so we went there to see the excitement.Interesting.Uncle Stuchen bought us Herz.It was a big heart-shaped cake with sugar, candied grapes, candied roses, birds, doves and three poems on it.That's ridiculous enough.It is inconceivable that there is such a deep symbolism in your country.Hannah was raised by Hale Stuchen from the age of 5.Her father had either been killed or died after the Franco-Prussian War.Now I like him. Here, I'm graceful and kind - it's total rest.I am not lonely.Hannah is smart.We have had a lot of fun learning German from me.If I stay here for 3 months, I will learn a lot. This is a quiet, quiet and laid-back village.Miles from anywhere around.Generally it's beautiful - somewhat British.I get to work, and I'm going to do this massive amount of work in one go.I'm working on that novel. I want to write in the morning, because people's minds are particularly clear in the morning.Waldbler is very good for my health - very cool and refreshing.Trier is always like a hammam.I like the air here. If you must go to England—must you? —Before I leave Waldbler, please.Please don't put me in a difficult situation in a somewhat unpleasant German city.how are you doingI don't want to upset you by asking too much, because I'm a little bit upset too.Just write down two or three important things and send them to me.I think tragedy is gradually reducing indifference from now on. I wrote you a letter yesterday.However, I did not post the letter because it was poorly written.It was getting better, and getting better every day--oh, it was. Waldbler - Wednesday I have received all three of your letters.It seems that everything is going very quickly.If successful, please tell me how E's determination was finally made.I think he asked you to marry me before he divorced you.That's because I wrote him a letter.I'm the opposite of you, a little victorious to be proud of.We're going to be married in six months—yes.I'm going to Munich soon, but I think it's better to take it easy.We want to connect more closely before we get married.Living in Waldbler, my health returned to normal.Is it annoying that Mace still lives like that?I think I'd better stay here--you mean let me stay until next weekend?We have to make a good plan for what we are going to do in the future.If I go to Munich next week, how can we live well?We can scrape together until I have an income, right? I hope you don't say anything about the situation to anyone before the divorce.If we get through the first three or four months -- financially -- I don't think there's anything to worry about later on.Never worry too much about your children.If the child comes, we will try to raise the child - if the child does not come - it will be a pity.When people love each other, I don't want to add trouble to others.From what I feel, that's not a good idea.I think you can bring the baby to me - it doesn't matter how early.It never occurred to me that there must be such a clear desire.Still, if we have to take the risk of taking on the responsibilities of our children—there is no risk in having a child, there is responsibility in the risk—we at least need to be on solid ground. After thinking about it, I still wrote to E.Maybe this time he could give a reasonable answer. How much do you really know about I love you and that we're getting married?In order to make our relationship stronger, we have to wait a little longer.It is not auspicious if the starting point of the two people is hit and they are suffering from the same disease.Shouldn't we wait a little longer?I love you, don't you want to wait? —Be sure to wait, for now is only the period of preparation.do you understand?Like the knights of old, I waited for the period of preparation, for which I kept awake at night.For me, getting married with you is the most important thing, so I can't get together in a hurry and with a moment of enthusiasm.I knew to "really get married" in my heart.It got to the point where it was huge because it was a big event in my life — it was my life — and I was a little bit scared — and I wanted to get used to it.If you think I'm timid and hesitant, you're dead wrong.Isn't it you who are hesitant and impatient?It is the inevitability and power of the impending thing that keeps me waiting.Swear to God, I want to marry you right now.This is something far greater than I ever knew.At least wait until the end of next week.If you love me, you will understand. Forgive me if I seem to be lamenting and reluctant. I always try to be as truthful as possible when writing to you.This makes me uneasy.Because I'm worried that you'll hurt feelings by disappointing me. I'm all yours - I'm not flattering - it's getting on my nerves - I'm not drunk.Human passion—sexual desire—is no longer a lost thing, but a secure and sure thing.It's interesting to feel that.I think that once a man is in love, his sexual passion quiets down, instead of becoming a storm, it becomes a real force.The kind of enthusiasm that drives people crazy is far from true love.I'm actualizing something that I never thought I'd achieve.Look at the poem I sent you—I think it's better not to write that to you.I love you all my life.This is another new plan for me.But I believe in that. Auf Wiedersehen (Goodbye) D. H. Lawrence Adel Hellen, Carl Klinker Waldbler, Reinprovenz May 14, 1912 Yes, I didn't hear from you until very late that day, too—your letter and E's and your letter to Garnett this morning.From E's letter, as from my letter to E, it can be seen that you are as united as a member of a secret society.That was odd enough. I forwarded your letter to Garnett.His letter to me was also forwarded. You'll laugh out loud at that letter.Reading E's letter while correcting his mistakes is really detached.Things just kept coming up.When you arrive in London to meet a judge, you feel overwhelmed.We cannot stand in the dock and face the public calmly.We have to face a lot of social censure.Even if we don't acknowledge them, they will still damage us.We cannot strike a balance.We are like spring scales that vibrate frequently up and down.It's best to calm down a little and take care of your body. Things are at a critical juncture.I had the good fortune to write to E.Please stop writing to my sister.Don't tell her all this until "the thing works" hopefully.Because it won't cause trouble for her. I am extremely healthy.But there's that feeling you're worried about.Shall we meet again when things get better?During my short stay here, I regained my composure.If you have to go to England, why don't you go to Munich first? —Where are you going?I don't want to be alone in Munich.Aren't we going to build a solid foundation for our next destination?Cringing and feelings of uncertainty will lead to our undoing.What are you going to do, please tell me in detail.Are you about to get divorced?At least you're going to England?Did we end up settling in Munich?Do we have enough money to live on?Did you and E decide on anything specific?When dealing with things, one must proceed detachedly, impersonally, calmly and logically.We do not wish to be attacked by other dreadful fleets while we are on a rough raft--during the time of borrowed money. How about it?The uneasiness will soon dissipate.Both of us could wait with a religious mood.When we come together, I'll be true to you--I mean it--don't be sad--this is my marriage, and it's a great thing--neither hasty nor half-hearted.I will not come to you until all is well and solid.Once gone, it will not be separated again.So, we have to wait and play by ear.In the future, there will be no improvisation or indiscretion in our behavior and handling of things.We have to solve the money problem.I will write to the publisher if necessary. I have about £30 due in August - £24 and £25 which I borrowed.Are we waiting?Or is there any way? Now I want to do it, because you can't make up your mind.If I live in Waldbler for a month our business will be settled.I can wait a month or a year just to be sure.However, the uncertain things make me uneasy. I love you - and I really do - and the two of us are going to create a great - no, at least a good life.I am never anxious or confused.Because doing that, being too pushy about things, can ruin our intimacy. Please don't think that my love for you is weak because of this.Maybe you are thinking that.But that's not true.The best male in me is loving you.And I'm afraid that something will pour cold water on their love. Please be realistic.Our marriage is realistic.There's love there - alas, marry common sense to it. Auf Wiedersehen (Goodbye) D. H. Lawrence The poem will be published in English next month.I don't know if it suits you. D.H.Ell I love you.It's a shame it's harsh to do so.However, after a period of patience - now I feel at ease in my heart. Waldbler - Thursday Today I am desperately writing novels.In the morning we went to see the Easter queue, caught in the pouring rain.Yesterday, on our way home, we encountered hailstones as hard as rocks.Luckily our carriage had its windows closed.The largest hailstones are as big as walnuts.The ground looks like it's covered with sugar cubes. Now you are more pessimistic than me.Please cheer up.I'm sorry you're so depressed.I am healthy here.I am always healthy.Last week, I had an unexplained feeling - especially in my soul - that I wished my health would be back to what it was before starting a new life with you.Does that sound weird to you?Please wait until tomorrow, this Friday, can you wait?I think it's good for both of us.Please wait until the 24th or 25th.Are you reluctant to do this, thinking it is unnatural?is it wrong?You know, when did the pilot drop?I am but a frailty of your soul, and all that surrounds my thoughts--is the fear of you.Don't do that.Please trust me. Maybe it's the priestly figure inside me at work.No, not like that.That's just the wish to have a healthy soul going with you.It seemed a long time before my letter reached you.Please say I understand.If so, you'd think that's probably for the best.The starting point is very important.You left the beginning with E intact. If you want H, you don't want anyone but him, you can have him.But I don't want anyone until I see you.However, personalities vary.When you use me as a dose of morphine, even a man like you won't believe it's the best move—you've gone too far with him.Sometimes people need a dose of morphine, and I've had a lot of it.Please think about it, lovely person, I love you, don't be depressed, cheer up your spirits. I am eagerly looking forward to you.Without you, I'm like a walking dead.But I would rather take my troubled soul, stir it, and exercise it, before I come to you and ask to live with you again. I have not come to you to rest, but to begin life.This is a marriage, not a meeting.How natural it is.Only what is necessary—what is necessarily felt—is true.I still feel a little uneasy.But I know it's the right thing for both of us.Indeed, man fears birth. I write all the time.It would be my comfort if you could understand me.I worry if you are still mourning.If possible, don't be pessimistic.But if you need me - Frieda! goodbye D. H. Lawrence Waldbler - Friday This is the letter I look forward to - I hate it.Please don't mind.I think it's all worth that.I have a say on this.A few times I got you into trouble.This is also a fact of the past.This is the first time.To say they are "rats" is an understatement.That's a catch-all for your men - if so, you're the ship.Poor H, poor guy. Your lecroguez bienentrel as dents.You are too much. It's reasonable for E to hate your letters—your messengers make the men of this world, no matter who they are, crazy.I don't want to die at all.You just die of that heart.I am not a tyrant.Even so, you can do whatever you want whenever you want.Therefore, the domain of my tyrant is small.I wondered if there was another mild irony.Ah, Hannah's voice, dear, her voice made her newly married husband laugh when he was drunk and doing stupid things.You condemned H in front of me.I would say that Hannah is getting interested in me more and more.She brought me the best things from her house.Hey, you know what! I have exhausted all means, but fortunately, you are getting better gradually.I am fine too.We both have amazing resilience. Do you really think that next Thursday I will go to Munich and stay there for 2 months until August?Do you think we can get by just business-wise?I started to want to fly high again. Ich Komm——Jeviens——Icome——advenis.We are getting married.The respectable people followed.If you belong to me, I will take care of you.God forbid. I like the way you crawl and lie on the gun.Very brilliant.Stop fighting.Because you are sure to win, you are not afraid of any danger. I think you hate H.You have always treated him like a child.otherwise,-- You remind me of Maupassant's story. A young naive Italian worker takes a train to France.Since he was penniless, he hadn't eaten for a long time.At this moment a woman came, her breasts swollen and swollen with milk—she was going to France to be a nurse. The woman's breasts were swollen and painful—the young man was starving and exhausted.The two cooperated, helped each other, and did many things in the future. Where will H feast his appetite next time? — Am I a strict man? Letter from Munich sooner.That way, I'm here to tell them.I return here in August. Please take care and wish you happiness. tyrant D. H. Lawrence After Lawrence's death, I came across these letters from my mother's desk.When he wrote these letters, my mind was too disturbed to notice the depth of them. I just want to be with him and have peace.All my letters to him have been lost.