Chapter 14 -2

It is a gesture, a mood that seeks and gives reconciliation, but also an unusual hope for a miracle.Catherine awaited the publication of The Garden Party and Other Stories, one of the most remarkable literary events of the year. In 1922, ① Proust's last work, Brecht ②'s first play and Rilke's "Dounot Elegy" came out together. ①James Joyce's masterpiece, the whole book describes what happened in Dublin on June 16, 1904, and uses the "stream of consciousness" creative technique to attract people's attention. ——Annotation ②Brecht (1898～1956), German playwright and poet, his first play with great success was later renamed "Singing at Midnight", which was premiered on September 29, 1922 and won the The Kleist-Press Award of the year. ——Annotation Seeking Miracles I am almost certain that the real cause of my disease is not the lungs at all, but something else, and if it can be found and cured, everything else will be fine.

—— January 20, 1922 In the autumn of 1921, on the hills near Searle, in fear of death, Catherine struggled to incorporate all that was valuable in her art—trying to express symbolically what was more valuable than "self" thing.At this time, like Yeats, she realized that everything personal would soon rot if it was not wrapped in ice and salt.Three years into the war, TS Eliot was about to emerge, at this time living in Lausanne, on leave from the bank to recover from a nervous breakdown caused by his marriage, and he carried with him the long poem he had been conceiving , hoping to integrate it with the past and the present, where poetry is just a mass of fragments, waiting for better "artisans" to string it together in Paris.

James Joyce waited to publish his fragments of a day in Dublin in 1904, and at 44 Hamlin Road lived Proust, spoiled by his mother's kisses and never growing up, who Suffering from insomnia and various ailments, finishing his own great work on the present and the past, at Hogarth House, Richmond, Nov. 4, Virginia Woolf finished "Jacob The last page of The Room of , an experimental novel that declares that it is impossible for people to know each other; Lawrence is in Sicily, Italy.Preparing to make his final ascent to the Continent, where he too will die; WB Yeats lives next to Blackwell's Bookstore in Oxford and is in perfect health of body and mind, and his latest collection of poems includes some of the Appreciated works.The world is ready - but not ready - to wait and see.

"The Garden Party" was published at the end of February and won many praises and money, just enough to pay the bills.Catherine didn't really need to continue to put herself through the stressful work of the fall, but her strongest desire was "to be successful first, to write a book as soon as possible so that I can recover as soon as possible and realize my wishes as soon as possible". They signed a one-year lease on the cabin and planned to stay there for a year or two, and if that plan went ahead, we'd be able to read Katherine's best book, her first with a purpose.But through the relationship between her friends Curt and Oleg, two mysterious figures unconsciously intervene in her fate at this time.Curt told her about Dr. Manukin's treatment; Olega - who had no idea what it would lead to - asked Murray to review a privately printed book, The Anatomy of the Universe, or the Construction of the Self. , by "M.B. Oxon"—his Sophistical Theology Contributor, Dr. Wallace.

Murray hated this "idol-worshipping book" so much and refused to accept it, but Catherine accepted it eagerly, thinking that it talked about "mysterious expansion of consciousness", "evolution of reality" and so on. Started a correspondence with Murray about the book. Jan 4th.. I've been reading "Anatomy of the Universe" and understand more, yes, books like this do attract me, why does Jack hate it so much? To get even a glimpse of how things are connected—to pursue that connection, to find that it remains true for so long—has opened my eyes more than anything else.It's just a psychologically grander view that helps my writing, for example, knowing that hat + bread can mean Taurus, ①Paris street names. —Annotation Substance or whatever, no, it's not that that really attracts me, but the fact that the response to certain causes and effects is always the same.For example, Constantia's choice of the moon and water was no accident.

The closing passage of "The Late Colonel's Daughter" mentioned here is the only time she admits to using symbols, and it is typical of her to hold Constantia responsible.If the book did "help her write," its main influence was not there.Through correspondence with Oriega, the book leads her to Fontainebleau.For the moment, however, she still had her heart set on another miracle, an expensive miracle performed by Dr. Manujan with his meaningless machines. Murray said she turned desperately to "two different, in fact contradictory, concepts: one said there was a medical technique that would relieve her of her disease and free her from confinement; the other said there was a psychological or spiritual Technology that can help her ignore illness and limitations."

He himself did not believe in Manukin at all, and many doctors had told him what he did not want Catherine to hear.At the cabin, more than anywhere else, she seemed to pay attention to the regimen, beginning to see it as a sign of salvation and a return to sanity.Murray blamed himself, regretting that when Catherine was tempted to see Dr. Manukin in person, he hadn't "resolutely opposed her going" to save her some days.But he forgot the role of Catherine's "wife" at this time. In the face of Catherine and Ada's couple-like union, Murray could not stop them from going to Paris with all his determination.

The need for money is playing the same old tune. Catherine told Brett on January 19 that she wanted to meet Manukin "unbelievably" and that she had saved up £100 for the "last chance" and would try to get more once she knew he could indeed help her Money. Just at this time, "Essays" wrote to ask her if she would provide some marriage-themed works for its "Stories with Barbs" series; although she was in very bad health, she resignedly wrote in her notebook : "I must obey." Then she began to arrange a trip to Paris, telling Murray that she would be back from a medical visit for a few days, but telling Elizabeth that her treatment would not begin for two weeks.

If all this sounds capricious and silly, it's also Arthur Beecham - Anne Beecham, Catherine resembles her mother in her fondness for travel, and ordering steamship tickets has a hormonal effect on her .To think that she could hear Manukin say the magic word "heal," and that as soon as someone came to pack her bags, she herself would just have to put a notebook in her pocket and go. On January 11, she spent four or five hours writing "A Cup of Tea". The next day, she daydreamed that she was cured and adopted a Russian child named Anton.She later concluded that the real cause of her disease was not her lungs but something else.A week later, she asked Ada to leave Searle to book a bus ticket.In this way, encouraged by Ida, Catherine left the cabin on January 30, 1922.

Murray immediately learned that Manukin said "I can guarantee you a cure," so why not start right away?She initially needed 15 treatments (a course of treatment) at 300 francs each, then rested in the mountains for a period of time, and then treated 10 times "to avoid recurrence".At £112 for the first session and £75 for the second, she has £103 in the bank while editors wait with their checkbooks for her clever stories. She privately admitted in her notebook that while she felt Manukin was a genuinely good man, she also had a vague sense that he was an elusive liar, "another confirmation of my split personality, everything inconsistent, half mocking, Half happy." But the final decision was made that night, and Catherine left the cabin for good.

① One of the characters in "The Late Colonel's Daughter". ——Annotation ① A literary journal in London. ——Annotation Murray was immersed in another ridiculous novel at this time, and didn't want to divert attention, but he realized that Catherine wanted him to go to her, so he wrote to her and suggested that he go too, but was reprimanded : "It's like my father telling me that if I need it urgently, he can ask for 50 pounds at any time. This is not a gesture made by people who know each other very well." On the night (February 9, 1922) he received her letter Leaving Cyre, he was so nervous that he tipped the railway guard a whole louis d'or instead of a franc, and took with him a very pitifully written letter professing his love and confessing all his faults. . Two days later, Ada returned to Montana to tend the cabin and see if it was possible to find tenants to compensate for the loss of rent. Murray's arrival in Paris interrupted the writing.It is now recognized as one of her major masterpieces, a symbolic take on the meaning of war that was not rushed, took three weeks to write from start to finish, and was not a piece of magazine stuff.It was published in The Nation, and like that marvelous little piece, she wrote it in Paris—bye bye to her relaxed Riviera style. At this point her book was published, to ecstatic acclaim from the critics, and was immediately reprinted. The Observer's review noted the theme of death, saying that her handling had "tenderness in irony and solemnity in tragicomedy," which reminded him of Hardy; Happier, convincing the reader that "living on this sunny earth is a good thing". Literary Supplement still picked the bones out of the egg, but said the results had broader implications, "you could say there was pity in it". Meanwhile, Mower wrote a critical article for The Nation, which caused the author to immediately request a meeting with him, since both were in Paris.The meeting was arranged by Sidney Seaver on March 29, and a few days later Catherine wrote to Violet Seaver: It is a pity that Sydney only stayed for a short time on Wednesday, but Joyce was quite stubborn. I hadn't known his take on the novel until now--didn't know how close it was to the Greek pattern, didn't know that it was absolutely necessary to know one character thoroughly to discuss the other.I've also read The Odyssey, and I understand it somewhat, but what Murray and Joyce say confuses me, I'm almost dumbfounded, and it's absolutely impossible for anyone else to understand it the way Joyce did. It's just disgusting to hear him talk about the difficulty of books, which contain code words that can only be found in each passage, and so on. This part of Questions and Answers can be read from an astronomical or geological point of view, or - oh, I don't know.He also told us that his latest admirer was Dempsey. Violet sent the letter to Wyndham Lewis (actually not out of kindness, for she knew he despised Catherine), and added: "Last night Jo told us that Mrs. It will surprise her to understand his books better." Catherine's letters to the right comments are mostly disgusting (like Virginia Woolf), only in the letter to Brett is an exception: ①Golden Louis, old French gold coins, French King Louis XV in 1740 Issued in 2010, equivalent to 20 francs. ——Annotation ① One of the Greek Homer epics, which tells the deeds of the hero Odyssey.Joyce's novel takes this story as a model, telling the protagonist Bullome's life experience in Dublin, the capital of Ireland, in a day. ——Annotation ②Joyce refers to his English teacher when he was studying at university in Dublin. —Original note Joyce certainly didn't want people to read it because of its vulgarity, although I admit I found a lot of "easy laughter" in it, but this is because (though I don't approve of his approach) I Do think sometimes Marianne Bloom ① and Bloom's description is incomparable.Marianne is perfectly female, that cannot be denied, but one must also remember that she is still Nerope, also night and day, and she is also the image of this overcrowded earth, full of seeds, spinning incessantly. Going and spinning. Praise for Catherine's book can be heard everywhere - which also means that money is no longer an issue - and Catherine is understandably feeling good, spring is coming, but she credits it to Dr. Manukin, who shrewdly gave She arranges diets for gaining weight.She wrote to Ada at the cabin, "I barely cough anymore, gained 8 lbs, have no rheumatism attacks...my voice is back to normal and I'm off meds now." "Mountain recuperation" was part of the regimen, so it was decided that they would go back to Valais - this time without the heights of Montana, mainly due to her heart, and they went to Lundorn.Could Ada come down the hill and find two rooms at the Anglet Hotel?Of course she won't be needed anymore. That's great, Elizabeth said when she heard about it, "but it seems a little weird that you can go there without a single loyal person to get you there.." After convalescence and final treatment, they'll probably go south, maybe Bandar, even Murray was almost ready to believe it when he wrote to Elizabeth: "I'm beginning to feel that maybe I can start to get rid of my fear, and there's a big real spot of light at the other end of the tunnel, and I feel like I can tell You, but would never tell anyone, mentioning it scares me." By this time Ada had finished cleaning the cabin, and her service to Catherine had finally become superfluous, so she began to think about finding a job for herself, maybe opening a tearoom with a friend somewhere. On June 4, Murray and Catherine went to take the train—but there were no porters, and groups of people pushed their own luggage in carts, “15,000 Provençal athletes swarmed from their carts,” etc.There are no sleeping berths, only ordinary first-class carriages, and no toilet facilities.Murray took out Catherine's money and sent out the 500-franc banknote as 50 francs; lost the luggage ticket in Lausanne; encountered a storm in Cyre; and then the two dilapidated rooms booked by Ada; Then it was discovered that Murray had lost his only pen and had left Catherine's small square clock on the train.For the hotel, all they could do was assume it was where RL Stevenson would stay". Then they started to relax and think about the work that would be done. Edda: If you haven't made your final decision on how to go on vacation - then hear me out.It's no use, I'm still pretty much as sick as ever, and I need you, if you can come, but it has to be: we're going to trick Jack.Jack never knew what I wanted, he tried to help me but couldn't really help and ended up spending all of my energy - every ounce of energy - on chores and not being able to work.. it's all up to you.I'm going to draft a letter, send it when I get a chance, write to me if you agree, it's not wrong to do that, it's right, I've wanted to do it for a long time.I can't live without you.. The "loyal man" provided the required letter and was informed that the letter "exactly achieved the desired effect", so he gave up the plan to open a tea room and prepared to return to Switzerland.It was not until 1953, when Murray read that letter to Ida and others like it, that he learned of Bloom's wife during the years he lived with Catherine. ——Annotation ② Odyssey's faithful wife. ——Annotation of how he was deceived.And she has long believed that he "focuses on himself" and "has a bad memory" and can deceive him at will without punishment. She now confessed to Elizabeth in London, and the fury came back to her with irresistible force, adding: "The only trouble I have is Jack, who should divorce me and marry a really happy young man." Man, have children, ask me to be godmother. What he needs most is a wife, and I can never be one, and he still believes that someday I will, which makes me feel like a liar." And Murray's difficulty It was because she asked him to believe so. She also had to think about her father, who was on his way to England, and she received a letter from him in Paris, and learned that all four sisters received the same living expenses from him.She wrote back to him on March 18: My dear father: I can hardly express my feelings after reading your letter.Only God knows how you can still have the heart to write to your unworthy child. I feel sad when I think of my ungrateful behavior, and I don't understand how I can give myself to fear and fear of misunderstanding.You have been—and still are—the embodiment of generosity to all of us, but how could I cause you pain when I love you so much and feel your sensitivity and sympathy so deeply?It's unbelievable.Sometimes I wish I could have been closer to each other since I was an adult than that narrow hearted girl who came back to New Zealand with you many years ago, but fate has it otherwise..God bless you dear always love Yours, grateful child Kath, aware of the fears her father would have, told him she was "no more open tuberculosis, no more contagious" and said she was going to meet him in London in August to write herself To give him the books which she had always felt in the past were not good enough to be worth giving to her father, no doubt she was going to send him an American edition of Garden Party, in which (though a little too late) she had a great deal of love for The Stranger. Made some deliberate revisions, removed place names like Wellington and Auckland, otherwise he would have known who "Mr Hammond" was, noting that the story was not only about the events at the port but also about his 5th January 1920 A second marriage was concluded on the day of her arrival in Auckland. The glass verandah of the hotel was all for her to use, and she began to write "The Pigeonhole", which was originally one of the "series" requested by Clement Short and had to be submitted on July 1.She worked until noon every day, after drinking tea and then working until dinner, even on Sunday, but getting up was too much trouble, she had to make the bed, brush the clothes, move the mattress, etc., she was exhausted, and typing was exhausting. She labored harder, so that nothing of The Pigeon's Nest survived except what was written at the cabin, and what was written in the circumstances of Lendoorne may have been torn up. Ada arrived on June 24—"I don't deserve a wife like that"—says a letter to Brett—but she kept her distance cautiously, booking a Stay in one room. So a few days after her arrival, Murray and Catherine were confronted with that embarrassing question of faith again, in their saddest separation, and almost their last.Apparently she has been corresponding with Olega since January (he is in China) and has begun to see him as a friend who can help her achieve her goals.She had a private plan, which she obviously couldn't tell Murray, but it didn't seem to tell Ada either.Murray, commenting on her Letters, writes: A deep restlessness seized Catherine, and indeed she found it difficult to work, and her heart began to turn swiftly to another miracle—the acquisition of spiritual control. , enabling her to ignore her physical condition.I could not at all share the sympathy that a disagreement on such an important matter created a situation that was painful for both of us, and we agreed to a temporary separation. He said he could not possibly pretend to believe that "mysticism" was of any help to her, and therefore decided that he should remain in Lendorne, while Catherine would be accompanied by Ida to Syl: Live separately until either party finds a belief on which to live." Disappointed, Elizabeth senses that something is wrong and is told that Catherine's "heart" is the cause of the relocation. Elizabeth wrote in her diary on June 29th: "After breakfast, I went to Catherine's to say goodbye, took the back path, walked through the rain-soaked grass, talked to her for a long time, and came back to lunch. . . Catch Catherine's carriage to the station at 5:30, and go to see her off in her carriage. A boring day, like Sunday, listless all day." A few days later, Catherine wrote these words in her diary: "This Tuesday, since leaving Murray, I have written a page, and the rest of the time I seem to be asleep, which of course begins to make me feel old fears, fears I can no longer write, I have narcolepsy, etc." Then Brett comes and spends a month at the same hotel, which tires Catherine because she's always feeling sorry for Brett.Ada recalls (the two were jealous of each other) that Brett exhausted Catherine, sat and talked late, and wore hearing aids.But her visit prompted Catherine to finish one last short story, which she had promised to write as a gift to Brett while in Paris, when a canary in a cage across the street captured her imagination and became Her elegy for a lonely woman's dead canary—extremely objective and unsentimental, set in New Zealand rather than Paris—marked the end of Catherine's writing career: from "The Weary Rosabel" " to "Canary", less than 14 years; at this time she also wrote the poem "Wounded Bird", like Rilke who also lived in this hotel soon, she was ready to admit that she had grown wings. While she was still struggling to type, it was impossible to finish The Pigeonhole, the deadline for the manuscript had passed, and she knew she couldn't go on. Some money would have brought some comfort at this point, even better if it had come from her father as a gesture of affection, and if this help had been obtained in time, Catherine wouldn't have had to write all those magazine stories and thus somewhat damage her final stages. Reputation, and she doesn't have to deal with people like Claremont Short who need a series of stories.Elizabeth must have been aware of her need, and the following correspondence soon followed: Dear Catherine, please ask me to lend you £100, which I wanted to send with the letter, but feared that you would send it send it back.If you want, you can return the money to me after you get the royalties for your book.If you have just finished a book like me and got paid for the manuscript, and I am temporarily short of money, I will definitely ask you to help me. It is easy for men to do this kind of thing, and they never think about it. Are we Can't you really be like a brother? love you very much Elizabeth July 30, 1922 Dear Elizabeth: It would be great if we could become men and brothers, I can't express my gratitude, I will return the money to you as soon as I get the manuscript fee, but that will have to wait until the end of autumn, can I borrow it for so long?Of course, if Dad had opened his wallet at this point—but that was more likely to be a fantasy. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, dearest cousin. Catherine Dear Catherine: Hello, can you imagine such a thing? ——The chef I invited this month, whom I put all my hopes on, didn't come.We don't have a chef right now and I have such a sore lip that I can barely speak. Elizabeth Dear Elizabeth: Thanks again, So sad to hear about your misfortune.. My stories are not good at all, what a shame, but I crave new things, new blood - anything new.You actually lent that £100 to a horrible desperate guy. Catherine So the aid ultimately came from a "brother". Rilke also frequented the Hotel Bella that month, and the place had an old European atmosphere which pleased him.His publisher came here with his wife to listen to the "Elegy of Dono", and there were few guests in the hotel. Rilke must have seen these three English women often-the man in the robe with a hearing aid, the tall man with big feet Women, and a thin, dying woman.Rilke pretended to hate the British, but surely nodded his head anyway. On August 7th, Catherine had a premonition that the situation was not good, so she wrote a farewell letter to Jack—"you in my heart"—and asked him to go to the bank to pick it up: Dearest Jack: I think it is good to write this letter For several days, my heart is very abnormal, and it will not be without reason, so I don't want you to let go unprepared, just try to write down what I think.All my manuscripts are left to you to dispose of as you please, and you can have a look at them all when you have time.Dear ones, destroy those you don't use, please destroy all letters you don't want to keep.You know I like to be tidy, just clean it up and keep everything in order - okay? Of course the book is yours - of course the money is all yours, in fact, dear, I leave it all to you - to you in the heart I kissed this morning.Anyway - how happy we are together I don't think any other lovers are happier in this world than we are - anyway. Farewell - my precious love i will always be your catherine On August 14 Brett received a telegram from Katherine asking if she could live with her. She wanted to see Dr. Soropier and she didn't want anyone to know that she was coming--not even Curt.Catherine also drew up a formal will that day, witnessed by two hotel clerks, and the will was consistent with the letter to Murray, giving Ada a gold watch and a gold necklace; a Spanish shawl to Anne Estelle Rice; fur coat for mother-in-law; pearl ring for Richard; Shakespeare for Elizabeth; all books for Murray, but please send one each to Walter de la Mar, HM Tomlinson , Dr. Thoropier, AR Oriega, Sidney and Violet Seaver, JD Ferguson and DH Lawrence; her writing desk for Chedi; the emerald for Jenny; the brass pig for her father; the Bible for Violet La; Italian dressing-case and carved walking-stick for Kotrensky.Regarding her works, the will said; "All manuscripts, diaries, documents, and letters are left to John? M? Murray, but I hope he will publish as little as possible and destroy more. footprint." The day when the will was made coincided with Lawrence's visit to Catherine's birthplace, which he passed through on his way from Australia to New Mexico.Since the letter she wrote to Catherine in Capri wishing her death, the two have not written to each other again.But in Wellington, he softened his heart, bought a postcard, wrote the word "memory", and asked Mrs. Ottering to forward it.So the two made a final gesture of farewell, one more generous than the other on the other side of the world, but Lawrence never received his book, and Murray picked out a Milton— Maybe one of the titles talks about something lost -- something that Otline gave to Catherine, and she cherishes it.But he gave Ada the task of sending the book, and she never sent it, because "the address for Lawrence could not be found", so Lawrence never knew about it. Jack came down from the Lendown Hotel, and Elizabeth came to see them off. On August 16th they set off for London, deciding that Catherine would live at Brett's, and Jack at Boris Anrip's next door, to Fontainebleau. These were old memories—glamorous, wonderful, distant memories of happiness. .Oh, how can life be so terrible, I sometimes see a great wall of black stone, glowing in one place - perhaps after death - smiling - the tenacious desire. ──Catherine November 7, 1919 In Moscow in 1910, a Caucasian Greek named George Ivanovich Gerjiv founded his Academy of Coordinated Human Development as an attempt to change human nature, and at that stage this school of higher thinking was associated with a Ballet troupe is not much different.During the war PD Ospenski, a journalist who had studied mathematics and the occult, became his follower and chief believer. In 1921 - the Academy fled the Russian Revolution via Tbilisi, Constantinople and Dresden - Ospensky came to London to teach Gurdjieff's teachings to a number of people, including AR Olega, the novelist JD Befort, the psychiatrist JC Young, and all kinds of people looking for new ways; among them is Mrs. Rothermere, who read Ospensky's "The Third Principle" in the United States , fascinated by it.She and other supporters offered money to get Gurdjieff and his academy to move to England, but were thwarted by fears of the Bolsheviks at the time.So finally the academy settled down near Fontainebleau in France. What kind of person is "Mr. Gurdjieff"?Catherine Mansfield wrote of him in the last months of her life with great reverence. When Ospensky found him in St. Petersburg in 1915, he found that what he saw in a small cafe was a man with an oriental appearance, a black mustache, sharp eyes, a top hat, and a black coat with a velvet collar. A disguiser—a cross between a carpet broker and a spy.He spoke terrible Russian, with a thick Caucasian accent that sounded far from philosophical, but he was clearly good at rugs (he made a good deal of side money selling rugs and mastered the art of darning shrewdly).Ospenski speculates that his childhood was spent among the nomadic peoples of Asia Minor, in an environment close to biblical legend, surrounded by mysterious characters, sheep, full of myths and legends and an atmosphere of ancient traditions . He often talked about the village life in some parts of Asia, where the whole village gathered in a small house on winter nights, young and old, weaving a carpet together to the rhythm of singing and dancing.He said very little about the school, and he might say one thing one day and quite another thing the next, "one can't be sure of anything about him."He mentions Tibetan lords, Mount Athos, the mystical schools of Persia and Bukhara, and various Mohammedans, but is "very uncertain." One of his beliefs was that civilization, while developing some of man's faculties, threw others out of balance, and that the task was to correct this, to balance what he called "the center"—the intellectual center of thought and formation, The emotional center for feeling, governing likes and dislikes and the physical center for action and creativity.A person whose center is balanced is a four-dimensional being, like Nasus, with supernatural powers.People may say that DH Lawrence needs to balance his center in a certain direction, and Middleton ① Murother Mill (1868-1940), the British newspaper king, successively owned and founded the "Evening News" and "Daily Mail". "Daily Mirror", "Sunday Illustrated" and other newspapers. ──Annotation?362?①Located in northern Greece, where the Greek Orthodox Church is located, there are 20 monasteries in total. The area includes three capes at the eastern end of the Halkid Peninsula. ──Annotation ② Russian place names, the capital of Uzbekistan. ──In the translation and annotation, it needs to be balanced in the other direction. The method of obtaining harmonious development includes the so-called "practice", whether in Tbilisi, Constantinople or Dresden, Gurdjieff's students have to walk with arms outstretched for a long time; After the end, stop immediately and maintain the original posture; or get up in the middle of the night to work hard; students who like sugar will let him eat enough sweetness; or heavy smokers will be ordered not to smoke, and so on. Olega has been saying that Freud was the great analyst of our time, and what is needed is a great synthesizer, and it seems that this man is Gurdjieff, a sophistical theologian of the London group at 28 Warwick Gardens Classroom meetings at the University, not far from Upper Kensington Street.Gurdjieff himself went to England, but found he could not stay.Catherine must have heard about him directly from Oleg (who had already decided to join the academy). On August 17, 1922, Catherine arrived in London, and Murray only knew that she followed her miserably. She lived with Brett in Hampstead, and Murray temporarily lived next door.The next morning she went to see Dr. Soropier, "went around the war tide with him, and he thought she looked amazingly good, and said there was nothing wrong with her heart, which seemed to be related to the condition of the left lung. All in all , "I walk and move around and exercise as much as possible" is what she wrote to her father, who had just arrived from New Zealand, and Cherdy and Jenny would come to meet him in London, and she saw him soon "He could live for hundreds of years," she told Elizabeth, "more red and fatter than ever, and his 'humorous stories' are unimaginable." She told the Sieves and her "homeless group" that she herself would stay with Brett for three months, undergoing Manukin-style treatment with a London radiologist.She wrote to Altrin affectionately -- longing to see her.All of this was actually smokescreen, and while both Elizabeth and Murray thought she was going to find Manukin in Paris, Murray said he was surprised she joined Oleg and Befort so quickly. member of the Ospenski Group. Now she made Kotelenski her secret friend, and soon told him she had a "fantastic plan" in place so that Murray could share Vivian Locke-Alice's cottage in Sussex,可以“在那儿永远永远地住下去”。他的确很快就去了那儿，然后她又请来了奥列加，他8月30日来到庞德街，中不久以后就记下了他们的谈话：“我开始告诉他我非常非常不满意那种认为生活必须是比我们能想象的要差一些的观念..”，几乎她认识的每个人在青年时代过去以后“就不再成长”，在假设的成熟之下是“潜在的深深的懊悔”。她知道并不一定非要如此，谁知道呢？ “让我们举凯瑟琳?曼斯菲尔德为例，自从记事以来，她就过着一种非常典型的虚假生活，然而，在这一生中，也有那转瞬即逝的时刻，她感到别的可能性。”这是她对奥列加说的话，后者是她1912年的个人评论家。她又见过他两回；还接受索罗皮尔医生的建议，去赴所有的约会，同父亲和姐妹们一起喝茶；接受韦布斯特医生的x光会诊，同爱德华?加纳恃共进午餐；请姐妹们来喝茶，“9月14日，同爸爸吃午饭，去见玛丽安?罗迪克，在沃里克花园听课”。 肯尼思?沃克医生生动地描绘过自己去那幢房子拜访的情景：在门厅内，沃克医生先听见一位“有点轻松幽默感”的俄国妇女点他的名字，然后他进入一间同成千上万其他房间相似的教室，一排排矮小不舒服的椅子面对着黑板和讲台，一玻璃瓶水，一个掸帚，一些粉笔，墙上有一小幅画，窗台上一只花瓶内插着贝壳做的樱花。人们三三两两地进来，低声交谈着，大部分是①弗洛伊德（1856～1939），奥地利精神病学家、精神分析学派的刨始人。──译注中年人，年轻人很少。 一个剪短发，戴眼镜，身体结实的男人走到讲台前，坐了下来，看上去像个科学家或律师。他从口袋里掏出几张笔记，说道：“好吧”，没作别的介绍就开始讲课了。 沃克医生说那人误解了自己，以为自己有永久的自我，一位主人“我”控制了思想和行动，但这是一种幻觉，代替单个的“我”的是无数个“我”，其中许多说着互相矛盾的事。然后奥斯本斯基起身在黑板上画了个圆圈，用交叉的线条将其分开，直到它看上去像显微镜下一只苍蝇的眼睛，他在每一小块地方都写上一个“我”，然后说，“这是一幅人的画像”。 有人问一个“我”能持续多久，他说不可能回答这个问题：每一思绪、每一愿望、每一感觉都说“我”，然后再消失在背景里；糟糕的是这些转瞬即逝的“我”并不互相认识。有人问难道没有一个是相关的吗？在某种程度上都是相关的──“但我们通常不知道它们的联系”。 奥斯本斯基然后详述了格吉夫的方法，一个人可以用此方法检查他的本性，发现自我，最终获得目前得不到的力量，而目前他是一架机器。当“一位外貌非常聪敏的夫人”问到达?芬奇和米开朗淇罗这样的艺术家是否精神自由时，他回答说：“他们也是机器，无疑是很好的机器，但还是机器..我们所知道的艺术都是机械的，客观的。”讲课持续了一个小时，使沃克确信奥斯本斯基“很诚实，不会装假”。 星期天听过这样描述她所有的“我”以后，凯瑟琳借口太累，推辞了在牛津广场同奥特琳的会面。但是那天她的确出去了──去剑桥广场西弗夫妇家吃午饭，后来在日记中对此只记了一笔，“同西德尼和维奥莱特共进午餐，讨厌”。 实际上事情经过很可怕：通过通信和交谈，西弗夫妇非常清楚温德姆?刘易斯（他此时正给维奥莱特画像）对他们的年轻朋友只有蔑视，但凯瑟琳却一直很佩服他的画，一直想见他，她肯定是过于轻率地谈起了自己最念念不忘的想法，而他则用某种方式攻击她的轻信，或者如几年以后默里在给维奥莱特的信中所说的那样，“他有意惹火她，她感到西德尼和你没有袒护她，而你们本该那么做。后来好几天她都气得发抖”（他一定是从布雷特那儿听说的，或自己猜测的，当时他不在伦敦）。凯瑟琳显然给维奥莱特?西弗寄了一封短简谈到这次会面，维奥莱特将信转给刘易斯，结果是这样的：亲爱的维奥莱特：收到凯瑟琳?曼斯菲尔德的短简。你并没有那种巴黎学院能提供的先知先见的能力，怎么会预见到那位受制于地中海通灵巫师，有名的新西兰杂志故事作家同我的会面会出现这种十分可笑的结局呢？我很高兴不受她的打扰，虽然我希望她不要过于耿耿于怀。我明天下午3点或晚些时候等你来。 温德姆?刘易斯 她肯定也给刘易斯寄去了同样的抗议，他告诉西德尼?西弗说，仔细回想一下这些半喜剧性的经过，他觉得是凯瑟琳自己寻衅吵架，而他“只是过于认真了些”：对于我来说，她不过是个写了两本短篇小说集的作家，受到广告的吹捧，被称赞得过了分，而我一直觉得这两本书庸俗、乏味、讨厌，既然世上有这么多风趣、迷人、漂亮的人，原则上，我总是尽量避开那些摆弄我所蔑视之物的作家、画家或诸如此类的家伙。 这次经历标志着凯丝?比切姆与同时代杰出艺术家关系的结束，这是她在这个动荡不安的时代生活的一个方面，以戈蒂叶－布尔沙卡开始，其中包括劳伦斯，以温德姆?刘易斯告终。 她在伦敦只多呆了两个星期，9月30日写信给父亲解释为什么预支了下个月的生活费。10月2日，由埃达陪同，她最后一次渡过了海峡，在西莱特旅馆订了房间──1918年她们曾在这个旅馆坐着等轰炸结束。到达那儿后，她还没忘记给理查?默里写了一封充满深情的“暂时告别信”。 我希望你一切顺利，我亲爱的长大成人的弟弟，哪怕龙来到你身边，也别忘了，总而言之他们很可能是看守宝藏的最好的龙。 她还要给西弗太太写信解释自己为什么不辞而别，写信给刘易斯，“难道见到你竟使她如此不知所措，竟然永远离开这个国家了吗？” 就这样凯瑟琳告别了伦敦和她的流浪团体，让别人以为她是回到马努金那儿去继续治疗，实际上她还有别的目的。在《新时代》办事处，奥列加将去格吉夫那儿的消后使所有人大吃一惊，忠心耿耿的爱丽丝?马克斯觉得这似乎是世界的末日，他所能对她作出的解释只是“我去寻找上帝”。他的最后一期刊物是9月28日出版的，10月14日他到达巴黎，那天恰好是凯瑟琳34岁生日。 从西菜特旅馆寄出的两三封信还有着凯瑟琳通常的机智快活，但是10月14日以后一切都变了。那天──意识到这是她最后一个生日，但仍然竭力否认这个事实──她写了一则很长的日记，从日记本上撕下来，打算将其寄给默里：她将放弃自从1908年以来一直生活于其中的那个世界，她解释了自己心中的想法。 自从来到巴黎后，她的病情没有好转，她不能行走，只能挪动，已成为一个“完全病入膏盲的人”。写作能使她平静下来（谢天谢地还能写作！），但她同样“非常害怕自己将要做的事情”：“我是否相信医药呢？不，绝不，只相信科学？不，绝不，我认为一个人不是牛，却认为可以像牛那样治好病，这种想法真幼稚可笑。” 这些年来，我一直在寻找和我有同感的人，我听说了格吉夫，他不但与我有同感，似乎还知道得更多，为什么还要犹豫呢？..冒险，不怕冒险！ 不再去管别人的意见，别人的看法，为你做世上最艰难的事，为自己行动，面对真实。 我认为健康的意义在于有能力过一种丰富成熟，朝气蓬勃的生活，密切接触我热爱的事物──世界以及世上的一切，海洋，太阳，我们所说的世上的一切。我要进入这个世界，成为它的一部分，在其中生活，向它学习，丢弃所有表面和后天获得的东西，成为一个自觉的，直接的人。 于是我开始工作，我如此盼望生活，用双手、感情和头脑生活。我想要一个花园，一所小房子，草、动物、书、画和音乐。从这一切之中，为了表达这一切，我想要写作（虽然可以写马车夫，这也没关系）。 但是温暖、热切、活的生活──扎根于生活──去学，去渴望知道，去感觉、思想、行动，这是我想要的，缺一不可。这是我必须尝试的。她写了这些，想“冒险把它寄给杰克”，他必须明白她多么爱他。 这听上去过于紧张认真，但我已经过了一番挣扎，不再是那样的了。我感到幸福──内心深处，希望你也幸福。 星期一我要去枫丹白露，星期二晚上或星期三早上回来，一切都好。 参加了格吉夫团体的伦敦人扬医生今天来看我，告诉我那儿的生活情形，听上去好极了，很简单，正是人们需要的。 最终她还是没有“冒险将它寄给杰克”，她把它留在文件中，让他自己以后去发现。这以后一切都改变了，她的写作改变了调子，她写道：的确，契诃夫没有做到，但是契诃夫死了。让我们诚实无欺，从契诃大的信件中我们对他了解多少？仅止于此吗？当然不，难道你会认为他度过盼望的一生而对此一字不提吗？那么读读他最后的书信吧，他放弃了希望，如果那些书信除去感伤情绪，就太糟糕了。契诃夫不存在了，疾病吞没了他。 ──她自己以后写的信也可用同样的话来形容，机智、欢快消失了。 10月16日，凯瑟琳去了枫丹白露，表面上是去过一个晚上，其实却打算留下来。 在艾汶的巴西斯修道院是一所旧的修道院，位于枫丹白露森林边上被人遗忘的美丽猎园中，德雷福斯①辩护律师的妻子将其赠送给格吉夫，连带屋内所有的绘画，包括一些罗莎?博纳尔②的作品。但是园地已经荒芜了，车道长满了草，院内的喷水池也不再喷水了。由扬医生和一些俄国人组成的先头部队已先去了，奥斯本斯基太太替他们做饭，开始清扫房屋。等大队人马来到时，他们已清理了道路上的野草，洗干净了无数块玻璃窗。后来的人中有奥列加，他同扬医生在仆人的住处合用一间房子。最好的房间留给客人和格吉夫自己，别墅的这一部分很快就被那些不住在此的人称为“里兹饭店”③（罗瑟米尔夫人在“里兹”呆过很短一段时间）。在一排小房子里住着格吉夫的母亲和已婚的妹妹；弟弟德米特里和他的一家；斯杰恩维尔医生和太太，德?舒尔曼先生和太太。 凯瑟琳去时，那儿已有将近60人居住，但是还需花费很多精力修整装饰、饲养牛羊、家禽和猪，而且最主要的工作是建一所主人所熟悉的那种东方式聚会大厅。格吉大自己双手极其能干，根据他的指点，人们将一个废弃的石头房子临时建成俄国式浴室，而格吉夫本人承担了大部分的砌砖工作。 男人们劳动，女人则制作服装，以备锻炼和公开表演以及跳舞时穿着。格吉夫裁剪技术非常高明，女人们只需缝制，根据他的设计剪蜡纸，照他的示范印染花布。 ①德雷福斯（1859～1935），犹太血统的法国军官，1894年，被法国军事当局诬为叛国者，判为终身苦役，当时许多著名人物曾为其辩护，后以宣告无罪而释放。──译注②罗莎?博纳尔（1822～1899），法国女画家，雕塑家，《马集》一画是她的代表作。──译注③巴黎最豪华的饭店。──译注他们弄到了一个战时飞机库的框架，将它奇迹般地竖立起来，内外都钉着粗木板条，板条中间塞满落叶，然后整个棚架都覆盖着希伯莱人制造砖头的材料，一种泥和稻草的混合物，四面墙壁至一定高度巧妙地装配着旧的黄瓜架，玻璃涂着高加索彩色花纹，坚硬的泥土地面先用炉火烘干，再铺上草席，一切都准备就绪，只等待着12月从布哈拉和巴鲁齐斯但①运来63张地毯和仪式所需的一些皮挂毯。 房子建成后像一个伊斯兰帐篷，里面有东方乐器和鼓，在另一头的土台子前有一个灯光香水喷泉，墙四周无数的板条上用某种中东文字刻写着东方格言：“这儿工作是目的，不是手段”，等等。进口处微微高出地面的是一个装饰性的壁龛，四周挂着大红的帷幕──是格吉夫自己的座位，具有一种圣地的气氛。 凯瑟琳写信告诉默里，“新的生存方式并不容易..我还有很多事未做就将死去”，唯一能做的就是战胜死亡──几乎可以说是追求它──“然后全力以赴准备再生”。至于他，难道不能“离生长的大地更近一些吗？”他应该弄些园艺，养些动物。同沙利文下棋只会助长他“已经过分发达的智力中心”。是的，她的确关心劳伦斯，想在春天再见到他，但她现在不想写任何书了。 她后来告诉默里她已问过格吉夫是否能让她留下来，他已同意让她呆两个星期，“接受观察”。如果让她留下来，她就真的得救了。自从以后，她只写过零星片断，“我因生活过于贫乏而要死了”。埃达目前暂时住在西莱特旅馆，她当然感到“非常悲惨”。 埃达在巴黎哀悼她的损失，守着“一个完全空虚的世界”，“的确，我已同凯瑟琳说过永别了”，她知道不能再见到凯瑟琳了，开始寻找在法国生活和工作的机会，后来打听到某个农庄上有工作可做。 凯瑟琳对她说：“那地方太偏僻了，你只会感到沮丧乏味..但是你现在的确认为我们的关系完全错了吗？..如果你真如你想象的那样爱过，现在怎么会因为我不再是孤立无援的而如此悲伤呢？试着装装样子吧。” 凯瑟琳把她的生活描绘给默里听：7点半起床，用冰冷的水洗脸，坐下吃一顿丰盛的早餐──“铺床，收拾房间”，白天在花园里，晚饭后有音乐，“长鼓，圆鼓和钢琴──跳舞或者表演各种古怪的舞蹈练习”。睡觉时，扬医生来替她封好炉火，她则替他缝补裤子。 他不能认为他俩己渐渐分离！她只是尝试把自己过去一直有的想法付诸实践，体验另一种“更为真实”的生存。 格吉夫先生希望我下午去厨房“观看”。我在角落里有一张椅子，厨房很大，有6个帮手，领头的奥斯特洛夫斯基太太四处走动，伊然像个女皇。 她极其美丽，穿一件旧雨衣。妮娜是位高个子姑娘，身穿黑色围裙──也很可爱──在研钵里捣碎东西。另一位厨师在桌上切东西，碰撞着碗碟，一边唱着歌，还有一个跑进跑出端碗碟。有人清洗锅子──狗躺在地上吠叫，害怕清扫壁炉..格吉夫先生大步走进来，抓起一把切碎的卷心菜吃下去..一切都是如此。“一张一弛”是我能找到的最好的形容词。 ①伊朗一省名。──译注 她告诉默里怎么在车间度过一个早上，打铁炉生着火，格吉夫先生在刨木头，舒尔曼先生在做车轮。牛买来了后，格吉夫先生就要为她在牛棚里做一张高躺椅，她可以坐在那儿吸入它们的气息，大家已经开始称它们为“默里太太的母牛”，所以她将留下来。 这一切没有什么神秘之处：凯丝?比切姆无论有时似乎是别的什么，但永远是一个比切姆，一直渴望过一种群居的，不用思想的积极生活，像她自己那个大家庭一样；戴尔祖母在厨房为满架子的瓶装果酱忙碌，贝尔姨妈谈论着肩带，帕特?西安给马装上鞍子，或搬进牛奶──或剁去鸭头。那种做一个“作家”同默里──他对此除了从她那儿了解的以外几乎一无所知──一起度过的乏味生活实在太过分，而死亡的迫近使她更急需重获一种记忆中卡罗里的生活。 40年前人们通常说格吉夫是“害死凯瑟琳?曼斯菲尔德的人”，因为那时人们读到她在冬天将至时如何感到寒冷，在厨房里干活，削萝卜，剥葱头等，现在则很易明白这些对她意味着什么。她在修道院结识的一位最好的朋友奥尔佳?伊万诺夫娜（她后来同弗兰克?劳埃德?赖特①结婚）曾描绘过默里太太到达时的情景：“她站在我们大饭厅的门口，用锐利的黑眼睛看着大家，双眼燃烧着对新印象的渴望。她想同所有的学生一起坐下进餐，但别人把她喊到另一个饭厅去了..”随之而来的是亲密的友谊。赖特太太在一篇充满对凯瑟琳亲密了解的文章中说道：“格吉夫所做的最为人道的事情之一就是吸收她进入学院。” 大家从一开始就明白默里太太没有多久好活了；那时学院还没正式开办，如果格吉夫只思考自己的利益，就不大可能冒险毁坏声誉──事实的确如此──在学院成立的第一年就让一位作家死在那儿；再说她也不是像罗瑟米尔夫人（她很快就放弃了自己的希望，离开了）那样是潜在的基金来源。 至于格吉夫的学说，则基本与此无关，它们或者过于幼稚，或者过于陈旧，只适合于没读过什么书的人，又没有什么道德内容，他的“了解你自己”几乎算不上现代希腊语；他的“平衡中心”的概念来自于那种只会制作坚实板凳，却不大可能推翻三位一体①的人。但是在凯瑟琳最后竭尽全力去发现“自我”的时候，他一直是她亲切上直的朋友，他告诉她：“不要思想，不要写作，..再次用你的身体生活。” 他不是骗子，他能砌墙，刨木头，裁剪衣服，印制蜡纸花样，设计“圣地”所有的装饰，修补东方地毯，在厨房抓起一把卷心菜，这种人不是等闲之辈。 他靠自己的工作养活一大家人，但从未“发财”，作为一个父亲，他代表了凯丝?比切姆从不知道的一切。他在自己身上很少花钱，对金钱完全没有兴趣，除了把它视作进行工作的手段，钱倒进他的口袋，立刻又倒出来。 他总是像土侯一样赠送礼物，有时还为那些想来看他，却没有钱的人支付旅途开销。 11月中旬，格吉夫让凯瑟琳搬进工人住宅的一个房间，“简单狭斜，她在里面感到很冷，写信给埃达说房间“地板光秃秃的，矮小的桌上放着水①弗兰克?劳埃德?赖特（1867～1959），美国建筑师，建筑学家，他主持设计的日本东京帝国饭店、美国匹兹堡“落泉”别墅、纽约古根海姆博物馆等，皆颇获国际建筑界好评。 ──译注①基督教的主旨，意谓上帝本体为一，但又是圣父、圣子耶稣基督和圣灵三位。 ──译注罐和脸盆等等”。然而除夕写的一封信则说她在那儿居住的整个期间白天从不需要呆在床上，这让人惊奇。她告诉默里：“只有在接到埃达来信时我才会想到她，可怜的埃达！我为她感到遗憾。 " 她也为默里感到难过，注定永远要当“一位作家”，只是在书房内进进出出，“你难道没有厌倦关上那扇门，坐在那张书桌前吗？”她问他，不知道桌上是否连花也没有。 她确实知道有两个人会理解这个地方，如果他们愿意的话──劳伦斯和EM福斯特，但是她说劳伦斯的“骄傲”会使他退缩不前。她自己不再是“喜欢东方地毯的小欧洲人”，西方现在如此贫困散乱。但是默里惧怕任何东方的事物，对吗？（回信中他告诉她自己目前正醉心于印度的瑜珈①，因为他现在同一位名叫邓宁的英国神秘主义者来往密切。）早在12月凯瑟琳就告诉默里她情愿到春天才同他相会，此时格吉夫已替她装修好了牛棚，她可以舒适地躺在那儿呼吸牛的气息，这对肺有好处，她常常登上几级台阶，那儿有她专用的铺着地毯的长躺椅，舒尔曼先生根据她的爱好用花朵、马、动物和蝴蝶等图案装饰四壁和天花板，这些图案有着大家熟悉的面孔（奥列加是一只大象）。她每天去那儿呆几个小时，到夜晚可以听见下面挤奶的叮咚声。根据主人的旨意，她每天甚至还喝下一些刚挤出的鲜牛奶。他又让她回到了自己舒适的房间里。 所有这些都是对待一位濒临死亡的年轻女人的好意，凯瑟琳很感谢舒尔曼先生（他是契诃夫遗孀的一位朋友）用他精致的艺术给她带来了快乐。“他穿着像一个非常寒伧的看林人，我几乎像喜欢他的妻子那样喜欢他”。 圣诞节将临，凯瑟琳改变了她的外貌，“我不再留刘海──看上去很怪”，在节礼日她给默里写信说，“你看，亲爱的，问题总是：'我是谁'，在这个问题未得到回答之前，我不明白，一个人怎么能指导自己去做别的什么事情。'是否有个我存在呢？'我从来没有相信过这个问题可单单靠头脑来解决。的确，如果我只能对上帝有一个请求，那么这个请求应该是：我要求真实。 在这些日子里，凯瑟琳和奥列加天天相见，两年后他发表的作品《与凯瑟琳?曼斯菲尔德谈话》很令人失望，他不是好记者，人们几乎听不到她的声音，更别说什么新观念。他使用了柏拉图式的对话形式，假设是她的语言的话听上去却更像他自己的声产。凯瑟琳宣称最伟大的文学如果没有与其他艺术相对称的目的，也“不过是文学而已”，哪怕她能像莎士比亚一样写作，也总还会有缺憾，因为“文学不够”──这是她几乎从未放弃过的说法。然后文章又讲述到有一天她请他去，因为有要事相告，他进她的房间，看见她“满脸放光，似乎刚朝圣回来”。她说已找到了自己的观念，她感到了过去从未感到的东西，明白了过去从未明白过的东西。 她说自己有了全新的对待生活和文学的态度，打算将来“把平常的美德描写得引人入胜，就如人们通常描写罪恶那样”，她将展示美好事物的机智、惊险和引人入人胜，暴露罪恶的平庸、乏味、沉闷和枯燥。过去她一直像一架照相机──一架有选择性的照相机，但却没有创造原则，等等。奥列加说“她去世前的几小时我见到她，她仍然神采飞扬地谈到新的态度。” 另一女士的文章则回忆道： ①瑜珈，古代印度哲学的一派，特别强调静坐、调息的修行方式，带有神秘主义成分。──译注我们两人看着人，心情轻松平静。 “你以什么为生？” "I'm a writer." “你写戏剧吗？” “不。”听上去她很遗憾不写戏剧。 “你写悲剧，小说，传奇吗？”我追问道，因为看上去她应该写这些。 “不，”她说，神情更为不安；“只有短篇小说，全是短篇小说。” 后来她告诉我当时她感到非常伤心，情愿付出一切代价，如果对那些“大”事哪怕至少能有一个肯定回答。 还有一个立陶宛小姑娘照顾默里太太，名叫阿德拉，那时她还不会说英语，她俩只能用简单的法语交谈。后来阿德拉讲述了凯瑟琳怎么“带着笔记本”进牛棚，她还说，在12月25日为英国成员举行的圣诞晚会上，凯瑟琳用一种英语方言朗诵了几个人物速写。 圣诞前夕和除夕都是垦期天──在伍德小姐公寓学会了好习惯的人总在这一天写信。前一个星期天凯瑟琳给埃达描述了为1月13日俄国新年所作的准备，她还附寄了100法郎，说自己已没有了“金钱情结”，信末签名“爱你的KM”。 大年夜，奥尔佳?伊万诺夫娜感到她的朋友“出了什么事”，凯瑟琳谈到要抛弃“旧的情感、习惯和愿望”非常困难，需要确知自己“仍然走在正路上”，她说要请默里先生来看她。 然后那天她写了最后的几封信，签上不同的名字，用铅笔匆匆写就的短简请默里8号或9号来，作为格吉夫的客人呆一星期，参加教学楼的启用仪式；然后是写给表姐伊莉莎白的信，附寄去一张还给她的100英镑的支票，凯瑟琳说自从10月以来她未写一个字，打算等到春天（“我像笼中生长的鸟儿一样，对我的小故事感到厌倦”），但是她又说道：“别了，我最亲爱的表姐，我不再会遇上像你这样的人，我将永远记住你的每一细微小事，爱你的凯瑟琳。”给彻迪和珍妮的信只开了个头，却没有写完。 然后她愉快地，充满深情地给回到新西兰的父亲写信，描述了自己高居于牛之上的画廊（“我觉得自己看上去一定像一个女父亲，高高在上”），说她至少要在那儿呆6个月，杰克似乎很快乐。她很遗憾自己没有希望在英格兰安居，“安居下来的想法在我就像对于祖父一样，只是我被迫去那儿，而他是自愿的”。这可能是她最后一封信，结尾说道：“新年已来了，我必须离开炉火上床睡觉，上帝保佑您，亲爱的父亲，让我们在不久的将来再见，永远是您忠心的孩子，凯丝。” 杰克将于1月9日午饭后到达，默里太太为了他的到来特地把头发刘海梳下来，事先还询问过奥尔佳这样做是否很傻。 默里见到她时也感到“出了什么事”，他们在她房间里谈话，她似乎“像一个因爱情而改变的人，完全信赖爱情的人”。她没有试图为学院辩护，只是安静地谈到自己的感情，说也许她已得到了所有该得到的一切，可能很快就将死去。 奥尔佳在教学楼见到他俩，那儿还没有完全装修好，让人感到有些不自在。她同凯瑟琳坐在地毯上，妇女们在玻璃上绘画，使凯瑟琳感到高兴的是杰克也拿起一支画笔，同大家一起工作，“她很高兴默里对大家都亲切友好。” 晚饭后大家照常集中在起居室练习，凯瑟琳在她最喜爱的炉旁的老地方，奥尔佳走过去，但她似乎冷漠不耐烦。“我想听音乐，”她说，“他们为什么还不开始？”她苍白，古怪，“对我非常疏远”。舞蹈完毕后，奥尔佳同她道别，回到教学楼，心中有些疑惑不解。 事情发生时阿德拉在近旁，凯瑟琳同默里一起回自己房间，忘了所有的告诫，像一个健康人一样跑在前面，不知怎么打开了闸口，在楼梯顶上时，她开始咳嗽，转身面对默里，鲜血从她嘴里涌出来，可怜的凯丝还从没见过这种事，她勉强对默里说“我想──我要死了”。他扶她上床，跑下楼去找斯杰思维尔医生，在楼下碰见阿德拉，用手指着他们的房门。 阿德拉跑上楼梯，默里苍白的脸色已使她预感到事情不妙，她发现凯瑟琳坐在床上，完全清楚自己的状况，鲜血从她嘴里喷涌出来，阿德拉抓起一块手巾，凯瑟琳痉孪地把它按在唇上，眼睛盯着门口等着默里。两个医生同他一起到来，他们当着凯瑟琳的面把默里推出房间，阿德拉回到自己的房里去哭泣。 等奥列加把奥尔佳?伊万诺夫娜从教学楼喊来时，医生们上“用热水袋作些无望的措施”，但凯瑟琳已死了。 埃达第二天来，住在凯瑟琳的房间里，开始清理她的东西，拿了金表和金项链，知道是留给自己的。第二天在一个小教堂里，她用那块本来准备给安妮?埃斯苔尔?赖斯的色彩鲜明的西班牙黑丝绸披巾盖在凯瑟琳白色的棺材上，遮掩了它的寒伧。 彻迪、珍妮和布雷特及