Chapter 17 Chapter 17 My Self-Study History: Admiration

The first series of my autobiography Chapter 17 My Self-Study History: Admiration 15. A few characters I admired back then My father allowed me to do what I did, and he didn't stop it. He believed that I was a person with ambition, and it was better to let myself change instead of tending to the bottom.In this laissez-faire, I got the opportunity to go on the road of self-study, and did not fall to the point of passive education.From the age of fourteen or fifteen to eighteen or nineteen, there were several people I admired and admired in my mind, and they are described as follows: Of course, Mr. Liang Rengong was the first one.I learned a lot of knowledge from the "Xinmin Congbao" in the three full years of Renyin, Guimao, and Jiachen (1902-1904), which inspired my ambition and greatly influenced me.I once wrote an article in memory of Mr., you can refer to it.The text also pointed out his shortcomings.People who admired him back then were dissatisfied later, and Gai was not alone in Mr. Ren Gong. Then there is Mr. Zhang Rongxi, my uncle, Yao Zeng, who was admired by me when I was fourteen and five years old.Uncle Rong was extremely filial to his mother, and there is a saying that "a poor family produces a filial son", which is indeed justified.His mother is my father's cousin, so he is also called uncle to my father, and he regards my father as his teacher.In the politics of the early years of the Republic of China, he was not only respected and convinced by his own party (Tongmenghui, Kuomintang), but also deeply loved by other parties.I wrote an article in the "Selected Collection of Literature and History Materials" of the CPPCC for reference.It is a pity that he was limited to the political thought of the bourgeoisie and failed to adapt to the new trend of socialism. Then there is the article by Mr. Zhang Taiyan (Bing Lin), which was once my favorite reading.And amazed by the depth of his knowledge.The "Late Zhou Han Wei Wenchao" I worked on was influenced by his articles.At that time, I was devoting myself to studying Buddhism, and I also believed in his Buddhism.Later, I found out that he was a layman in Buddhism.  Then there is the influence of Mr. Zhang Xingyan (Shizhao) on my spirit, which is a long story.I have loved reading newspapers since I was a child.After I entered middle school at the age of fourteen, there were quite a lot of newspapers outside Beijing in the reading room of the school. I not only read the news, but also carefully read long essays.At that time, there was a "Imperial Daily" in Beijing that often had articles signed by "Qiu Tong" discussing the constitutional system, such as the issue of whether the Congress should use a single chamber to suppress a bicameral system, and so on.The author seems to be in Europe, and sometimes he also writes and publishes "Europe Newsletter", which is my favorite reading.Later, Shanghai's "Minli Daily" frequently used papers signed by "Xing Yan", advocating logic.From the style of writing, I judge that it and "Qiu Tong" are different pen names of the same person, and I saw an article signed by "Minzhi" in "Guofeng Bao" (a periodical published in Tokyo, Japan) edited by Princess Liang Ren Although the content of the article on the translation of nouns is not related to what I have seen before, I believe that it must be the same person.At this time, I still don't know who his real name is.

Later I visited and found out that his real name was Zhang Shizhao, and I judged that the person with different pseudonyms was actually the same person.After the abdication of the Qing court, Sun Yat-sen abdicated Yuan Shikai as the interim president, but the party (Tongmenghui) decided to set the capital in Nanjing and asked Yuan Nan to take office. Published its proposition of establishing its capital in Beijing.There was an uproar in the party, and because Mr. Zhang was not a member of the League, the group accused him of being a traitor in the newspaper.So Mr. Zhang had to withdraw from "Minli Daily" and founded a weekly magazine called "Independent Weekly" to express his personal opinions.Its introductory speech shows that he has never been independent and never relied on his independent character, and at the end of the article is a letter of 1000 to 2000 words to Mr. Yang Huaizhong (Changji).The content of the letter stated that although he himself ran for the revolution together with Sun (Zhongshan) and Huang (Keqiang), he did not join the Tongmenghui (it seemed that joining the Tongmenghui required an oath of loyalty to Sun Gong and his finger prints, but he refused to do so. Of).At that time, Zhang Taiyan and Zhang Puquan, his brothers, once forced him to participate. As for locking him in the room, if he did not agree to participate, he would not be released (at this time he seemed to be under twenty years old). Finally disagree.There are not many people who know this, but Mr. Huaizhong knows it and can testify. "Independent Weekly" was published, and I subscribed to it, and I like Mr. Xingyan's character very much.Spiritually, there is indeed a fit, not just at the end of the article.  Later, Mr. Zhang published "Jiayin" magazine in Japan. I started to correspond with him after reading it. I got a lot of answers and kept them all. Unfortunately, I lost them all today.At that time, just as Sun Huang's second revolution failed, Yuan Shikai's attempt to rule the monarchy made people depressed.Soon after, Mr. Zhang took part in the battle against Yuan in the southwest and served as the secretary-general of the Military Affairs Council.Yuan Dao Li Ji, because of the revocation of the Military Council, Mr. came to Beijing to negotiate the conclusion of the affairs, so we had to meet.But after seeing it, I felt disappointed.I think that when the country is in trouble and the people's livelihood is extremely haggard, a person with a heart must work hard and encourage himself. However, my husband has many talents and desires, so he cannot be responsible for the overall situation.Afterwards, he was meticulous in his behavior and did everything from whoring, gambling, and opium smoking, which was a pity.However, he has a very strong personality, which can be seen from time to time. He is still diligent in writing at the age of ninety (I have seen it with my own eyes), which is beyond his reach.