Chapter 18 Section 7 Rat fasting and anemia

1. Miscellaneous talks about Duoshuzhai quit drinking It's not a big amount, but I like to drink two glasses.I've made many friends through drinking wine--that's the sweetest thing about wine.Probably when he is a little drunk, he speaks and acts more boldly and sincerely than usual, so it is easy to be in love with each other and become irresistible.People may only put aside the set of life stereotypes designed to perfuse people only after "drinking", and dare to show a little edge or "fallacy"-this reduces the vulgarity on my face, and I look rosy. Yes, people look alike!

In the twenty-five or six years since I worked in the society, although I don't remember how many times I have been drunk, but if I think about it casually, I can think of "many" embarrassing things.The so-called disgraceful person, or it is something to honor the face, so I don't regret it.The bad thing about wine is not that you go crazy with it and offend a gentleman—it’s too pitiful if you don’t have the guts after drinking!The real bad thing about alcohol is that it damages the brain. "Li Baidou's Hundred Poems on Wine" is an exaggerated compliment from one poet to another.Alcohol, in my experience, numbs and dulls the brain and does not increase the production of thought products.Even if someone cannot write poetry without being drunk, that is the exception, not the rule.When I was suffering from anemia, every time I drank alcohol, the disease would get worse; if I was "dizzy" when I was not drinking, but then changed to "dizzy" after drinking, it would hinder my writing!

It is a deadly enemy to gastrointestinal diseases.Last year, the doctor strictly ordered me to stop drinking because of my gastroenteritis.From October last year to now, I haven't had a drop of alcohol. Without drinking, I feel like a dumb person: no shouting, no laughing, no talking!Ah, not even alive!However, not drinking is also good, my stomach is comfortable, my head is not dizzy, and I can write one or two thousand words every day!Although I can't spit out a hundred poems in one breath, it's safe to write novels in a steady stream; let's not break the precept for now!

quit smoking To quit drinking is to follow the doctor's order, to quit smoking is to follow the order of the law.What?Worse than the "Long Knife" also sells for 100 yuan a pack?I had no choice but to grit my teeth and stop smoking! It has been a quarter of a century since I started smoking at the age of twenty-two.It is really not easy to get rid of the habit formed in the past 25 years. Smoking is harmful and not a reason to quit.And, there are every reason not to quit smoking.Quitting smoking depends on a little "fire".That day, I only had one "Gorgeous" left.When I inquired, it grew another ten yuan!It has been three days, and it grows ten yuan a day!I finished smoking this one, wiped out the ashtray, and put the matches in the drawer.I'm "fire", quit smoking!

Without smoke, I cannot write articles.It's been like this for more than twenty years.These days, I hold on!My tongue is wooden, my mouth is full of various flavors of water, my throat is itchy, and my temples are throbbing and painful! ——The worst thing is that there is a piece of emptiness in my mind!However, I am stronger than smoke: even though you have given me all kinds of poisonous punishments, I will stand up for you to see! After the poisoning attack, it sent a smooth-talking kid to persuade: "Forget it, you are finally a writer, why bother yourself so much! Besides, the weather is so hot;

To quit, it will be better to wait for the cool autumn weather! " "Go! Devil! My one hundred yuan is to stop buying moldy, smelly, hard, and unreasonable cigarettes!" Today is the sixth day, and I'm still holding on!There is no way to continue writing a novel; who cares!Unless someone says: "I will send you a pack of 'camels' or twenty 'Huafu' every day until the victory of the War of Resistance!" I think I will probably not surrender to the "human head dogs" and "long knives" of! quit tea Since I have quit smoking and drinking and am half dead, if I add a few more kinds of Yin Simo, I will die simply and quickly.

What are you talking about quitting? Quit meat?There is no need to quit at all, and I have not seen fish for two full years, and pork and mutton have been quite alienated recently.Dare to say quit?Affordable rice, occasionally a little oily meat, makes me absolutely believe that meat eaters are "not despicable"!If this is the only way to get rid of it, the stomach will be full of cheap rice, and people will definitely become cheap people, which can be called "despicable"!Can't quit meat! As a last resort, I had to quit tea. I am an authentic Chinese, coffee, coffee, soda, beer, are not my favorite, but tea.With a cup of good tea, I can watch all things quietly and be content.Although tobacco and alcohol are also my good friends, they are all masculine—rough, enthusiastic, thoughtful, but also angry—not as gentle and elegant as tea, with a gentle thorn and a touch of dependence; tea is feminine. .

I don't know how or why I live without tea.But, whether I like it or not, the recent rise in tea prices has given me goosebumps all over my body! The tea is supposed to be fragrant, but now the 30 yuan a tael of fragrant tea is not only not fragrant, but also has a salty taste!Why not drink the salted egg skin bubbles instead of just buying salted tea?The sixty yuan one tael can not produce salty taste, but it doesn't have much fragrance, sixty yuan one tael!Who knows that it will grow twice as long tomorrow! I'm afraid, you have to quit tea too!I think, after quitting tea, I'm probably eligible to go to the Western Paradise—if I want to go, I'll catch up early, and don't go until I've had enough of the sins!Think about it, tea must also be quit!

cat's breakfast The mice in Duoshuzhai are not necessarily more than those in other places, but they are not less than those in other places.A few days ago, another litter was born in the wicker bag, on the padded robe, and under the sweater. I have no choice but to keep a cat, even though I know that it will cost a lot of money to buy it, and "raising" will cost at least some cheap rice. I bought a very small and ugly kitten for 260 yuan.I am very worried.In terms of size and weight alone, the older generation of mice in the kitchen would bite two of these kittens a day.We tied Mimi with a hemp rope, not only to prevent it from running away, but also to prevent it from accidentally running into a mouse.

We were very afraid that Mimi would die, she was so thin and shivering all day long. Man is the most helpless animal, but he prefers to look down on other animals and worry about them. After eating cheap rice and boiled corn for a few days, Mimi not only survived, but was also alive and kicking.It is a country cat. Before it came to us, it probably had never eaten rice or bread. We just feel a little sorry for Mimi - no fish or meat for her, no milk for her to drink.Cats are carnivores and should not be vegetarians! However, these two days, Mimi is richer than us; what a poor man!Yesterday, I got up quite early, and when I opened the door, Mimi proudly called out to me, pressing a half-dead little mouse with her right paw.Next to Mimi, there were two dead frogs, one big and one small, which Mimi killed too, and she didn't bother to eat them. Probably the taste of the dead frogs was not as delicious as that of the mice.

I was stunned, I had to quit drinking, smoking, tea, and even meat, and Mimi - there would be two frogs and a mouse for breakfast!Maybe, it may have eaten two or three grasshoppers first! hardest article to write Or ask: What article is difficult to write? Answer: The most difficult thing to write is the article that you don't want to write.For example: The second uncle of the neighbor was 70 years old and died without any illness.The second uncle eats, dresses, and drinks two glasses of wine all his life, no different from ordinary people.He has made no meritorious deeds and made no speeches.When he was young, he was not even an amazing boy, and when he was old, he was still an ordinary old man. At most, I can only say that he is a good citizen who keeps his own place.However, the disaster of literati has come!The second uncle's son—graduated from university and is now an official in a government office—sent over his obituary, and sincerely asked for his condolences.I originally had two words of elegy that I could give to all the second uncles: "You can't see you again after you die, I feel so sad when I think about it!" But I dare not use it to prevaricate the second uncle's young master, lest he say that I deliberately insulted him old man.I have to think about a few more words - neighbors, we have to meet every day, if I decide not to write, the young clerk will annoy me for the rest of my life.But, God, what am I writing? At this difficult time, I really admire those old literati who earned their living by composing elegy poems and longevity prefaces!You see, let’s take the matter of the second uncle as an example. Apart from lying, I can hardly write a single word.I have to say that the second uncle is born extremely smart, but don't say that although he is extremely smart, he has never written a book, never invented anything, and he always takes off his socks when counting money.Yes, I have to assign other people's strengths to the second uncle, and leave the second uncle's shortcomings alone.This is not writing poetry or prose, but deceiving the living for the dead!I can't write this kind of article well because I don't like lying. In addition to the elegy and the preface to longevity, "September 18", "Double Ten" and "New Year's Day" are the most difficult to write.There is New Year's Day every year, and I have to write New Year's Day every year. What is there to write about?Whenever I received a notice from the newspaper to call for articles for the New Year’s Day supplement, I wanted to reply like this: “Die! I won’t teach me to suffer every year!” But then I thought, wouldn’t it be necessary to write an elegiac couplet after it died?So I had no choice but to hold down the fire in my heart and piece together a few sentences for it-this is not my writing, but the writing is me!Speaking of this, I correspondingly put forward the slogan: "Save the literati!", and hope that the young master of the staff and the editor of the newspaper will make a difference and let the boy live two more days! scariest person I am most afraid of two kinds of people: the first kind is like this—anything he can’t do, if others can do it, it’s a sin.For example: he himself could not write humorous words, so he called humorous literature the pus of literature and art, and all literati with a sense of humor should be punished for destroying the War of Resistance.He doesn't take the trouble to find out exactly what the thing he's attacking is, but just because he doesn't know how to do it, he thinks it deserves to die.This is the worst attitude. I am afraid of people who have this attitude, because they will only destroy things, and they will do no good to others or themselves.If he is a civil servant, he will only be jealous, and even become a traitor because he is jealous of others; ——It’s actually nonsense!This kind of person scolds others, but never seeks to improve himself; he defiles criticism and fills his heart with dirt. The second type is boring people.His heart is shallower than a small wine cup, and his skin is thicker than a wall.He knows nothing and is confident that he knows everything.There is nothing he can't do, and everything is inexplicable.His conversation is just about exercising his lips, teeth and tongue, and whether he speaks or not has little to do with whether he listens or not.He also comes to "visit" while you're at work.Seeing that you are busy, he said quickly, without delaying your work.But then he sat down safely—two hours later, he was still sitting there!He has to talk about the weather, air raids, and prices, and he can teach you a lesson at any time: "It's better to hide when there is an alarm!" or "Prices will rise until the August festival!" Will never tire of talking, as the truth.I am really afraid of this kind of person. He wastes my time and kills his life! Clothes For the British, I really admire their ability to dress.A rich or sociable Englishman changes his clothes perhaps three or four times a day.Meetings, watching horse races, playing ball, dancing...all need to change clothes.It is said that someone killed himself because of the trouble of dressing and undressing.I don't think this suicide is British.The patience of the British prevents them from getting tired of "putting on" and "taking off", let alone committing suicide. I'm not against neat dressing, or even pretty clothes.However, if I were taught to change clothes several times a day, I would commit suicide too.Think about how boring it is to button and unbutton!And there are so many buttons, so insensitive, so unfavorable, if you untie them and tie them again, and then untie them several times in a day, who can not feel world-weary! During the years of the Anti-Japanese War, life became more and more bitter.If we want to fight the war, we must suffer, and I will never blame others.Going one step further, if you can seek pleasure from suffering, not only can you not complain, but you can also gain some interest, wouldn't it be better!Among the four major troubles of basic necessities, food, housing, and transportation, food is the most difficult to seek pleasure from suffering, and the aroma of vegetable roots must be better than braised hoof!Vegetable roots make me anemic; "lion's head" makes me strong like a lion! Although living and traveling are not as inconsequential as eating, they are not so difficult to make a living.Living in a house like a stove during the dog days, or the golden rooster huddling in a car independently, I want to cry, but I can't find any fun. Only in terms of clothing can one indeed find happiness in suffering.After the July 7th Anti-Japanese War, I fled from my home with only an old jacket and a torn leather robe, and I wore an old cotton robe.These three robes are not enough for four seasons, nor are they enough for several years.So, when I arrived in Chongqing, I bought more clothes.The main one is the gray cloth uniform.This is a kind of "old" cloth that will never recover when it is soaked in water, and it will always be ugly.Mr. Wu Zuxiang named it Sven Sweeping Clothes.However, this kind of clothes give me a lot of convenience - it can be called enjoyment!I can sleep in my pants and not have to worry about the seam being straight; it's never going to be straight anyway.I don't need to look at the seat first before sitting down; my trousers are not afraid of dirt and dirt, they are old.I am not afraid of cars when I walk in the rain.There was an air raid on a sunny day, and the mouse-skin color of my clothes was camouflage.This kind of clothes give me comfort, so I have a sense of intimacy.It and I are like an old couple for many years, they have a complete understanding of each other, and there is no separation. I hope that after the victory of the Anti-Japanese War, I will continue to wear this kind of difficult clothes, not for saving money, but for comfort. Row My friends have repeatedly made appointments to go to the city, but they still dare not move. "Going" is not a fun thing today.See, from Beibei to Chongqing No. 1, the "crowding fee" is 1,440 yuan.The so-called crowded fee means that you have to "wait" at the station. How long will you wait?No one can tell you.Fortunately, when the car arrives, you have to squeeze to buy a ticket. If you can't squeeze in, it's your own incompetence, so you have to wait.Fortunately, the tickets are also crowded, so you should go to the car and suffer the crowd.This squeeze is amazing!You first have to prove that you are indeed a vertebrate, that you can stand upright no matter what.Second, you have to prove that in the theory of evolution, you are indeed transformed from a monkey, so now you use your hands and feet together, and your whole body is tense and flexible, so as not to be squeezed into a pile of meat like Sixi balls.Third, you must have a "protective skin", which is enough to protect your whole body from being poked, touched, stabbed, hooked, etc. by umbrella handles, elbows, toes, car windows, etc.; otherwise, you will be bruised all over your body.Fourth, you must have the certainty of not getting sick due to heatstroke, and the ability to not be afraid of sticking your nose under the armpit with body odor and not being able to move... There are too many conditions you must have, all because you like to hand in that one. A squeeze fee of more than 1,400 yuan! I was dizzy, and I might turn into a reptile if I squeezed, so I didn't dare to move. Besides, living in Chongqing for a week will cost at least five or six thousand yuan; at the same time, writing will have to be delayed for a week; In the past, I was in exile alone, and the world would be peaceful if I had enough to eat, so I ran around without fear of losing money at all.Now, with the little one by my side, five or six mouths come together for one mouth, so the mouth and courage are inversely proportional, the more mouths, the less courage! People in Chongqing, try to send a car to pick you up, otherwise I won't go to see you.You have to give us 1,000 yuan pocket money every day.There is no need to supply cigarettes and alcohol, and I have quit.Ah, a joke is a joke, and honestly, how much I miss you and how I long to meet and talk! dog Chinese dogs are probably the poorest and ugliest dogs in the world."Ugly" here does not refer to the breed of dog, but is closely related to "poor". No matter what the dog looks like, as long as it is fed well, it will grow fat and look pleasing to the eye. China People are poor. People don’t have enough to eat, let alone dogs. Therefore, the Chinese dog is the ugliest; not because it looks unseemly, but because it is scrawny and has its tail between its legs all the year round. Whenever I see little abandoned wild dogs looking for dung to eat in the street, I want to cry.I am not a person who likes to be sad, and I cry every now and then.When I see the pity of the puppy, I feel the poverty of the people.The people are rich and then the cats and dogs are fat. The Chinese always say: We have a vast land and abundant resources.That is to say, we don't need to worry, we have plenty of things, and we can never finish eating and drinking!Well, please look at your dogs! Also: Although dogs are so elusive to eat (foreign dogs eat meat, Chinese dogs eat dung; in zoology, it is said that dogs are carnivores.) Then they are kicked and beaten twice casually, but they are still Serve people as usual.Even though they are starving and skinny, even though they have just been kicked twice by their masters, they are still extremely loyal to fulfill the duty of guarding the gate.A dog never thinks its master is poor.Such animals should be praised by people, and good words such as loyalty, loyalty, poverty, bravery, etc. should be attributed to dogs.However, I don't know why the Chinese call traitors and villains running dogs without distinction of right and wrong, as if dogs are disloyal and disloyal animals.I cry out for the dog! Cats are the ones who are lazy and eat, come when they have meat, and go when they don't have food.Foreign slaves and villains should be called "walking cats". Or is it because dogs have a good temper and are not as arrogant as cats, so Chinese people say "running dog" instead of "walking cat"?If that's the case, I feel that people are a bit "soft to bully, hard to fear" again! However, there may be a breed of dog whose scientific name is "running dog"; then I don't quite know. cap After the July 7th Anti-Japanese War, when I ran out from home, although my clothes were all old, my felt hat was new.I bought it for four yuan in Jinan in autumn. In the 28th year, I went to North China with a relief group. In the desert, a gust of wind blew away my fedora hat, and I became a hatless person.If I were in Sichuan, I wouldn't be in a hurry to buy another one—by then prices would have already spread their wings.However, I'm in the north, and it's snowing a lot, so I can't go without a hat for a day.So, in Ningxia, I bought a felt hat for six yuan.It was worth a fair sixty cents before the war.This is a very naughty hat.It has no definite color, gray but not grey, purple but not purple, ocher and not reddish. In the sun, it seems a little reddish, and in the dark it seems a little green.I can only use "colorful" to describe it, which is slightly approximate.It's a fedora hat, but it's totally meaningless.I remember that the woolen cloth is soft, but this hat is very hard. When I flick it with my fingers, it makes a loud noise.This kind of hard cloth made from somewhere makes a small groove in my forehead and makes me very uncomfortable; I have to take off my hat every now and then to teach my head to rest!When it gets wet in the rain, it loses all its properties and turns into iron-clad cement.So when I got back to Chongqing, I just didn't wear it if I could; I was a little scared when I saw it. Because I was afraid of it, I bought another woolen hat when I was posing with my friends at the teahouse on Baixiang Street.This top is indeed soft, so soft that it can be folded, I am very happy. Unfortunately, this joy was short-lived.After only wearing it for half an hour, my head seemed to be on fire, and it was very itchy.It turned out that it was woven from buffalo hair.It makes the forehead sweat hot, and then pricks the open pores with the hard hair!This is not wearing a hat, but a execution! Put this buffalo hat down, and I'll still wear the iron and cement fedora.After rain, sweat, wind, and sun, this year, the fedora has not only no color, but also no shape--but it will never be beautiful.Whenever I wear it, I hide from the mirror; I know that when I see it, I will have a sense of elegance! A few days ago, I spent 150 yuan to turn over the felt hat.Its color has a fixed tendency, and the whole body is red.Its style also has a temporary home because it is a little stiffer, it does have a bit of a hat!It's harder, and if you don't pay attention, the brim of the hat hits the door or something hard, and when it hits hard, there are sparks in my eyes!Just wait, until the day of the victory of the Anti-Japanese War, I will first smash it with scissors to see if it is still hard! yesterday I was not happy all day yesterday.It rains all the time, it rains all the time, it makes people's hearts seem to be wet! Someone came to ask where to run?Answer: Jialing River is not covered.The neighbor hires a girl.The girl is twenty-three years old, not ugly.A sedan chair came, and she was taken out of the house and put into the sedan chair; the bearer picked it up and left.She cried loudly.There are no gongs and drums.The sedan chair just left crying.After seeing it, I remembered buying birds at the bird market when I was young.The dealer took the bird out of the big cage and put it in my small cage. The bird screamed sharply. The yellow wolf took the flower hen away at night.This afternoon, the children found the hen behind the hillside.Bitten on the neck, everything else is fine.They advocated that they should be stewed and eaten.I didn't stop them.In troubled times, chickens deserve to die twice! Always dizzy.A friend came and asked again: "Why don't you go for mending injections?" I smiled and didn't answer, feeling very angry in my heart. I'm writing a manuscript, my friend.I can't let him sit.He was embarrassed to sit down, and he was embarrassed to leave immediately.Chinese people are always overly polite. When a friend writes to someone about something or something, he immediately replies: "Everyone is willing to enlarge their minds a little bit, and don't point out that something is evil just because it doesn't meet your wishes, then the disputes in the world can be reduced by half!" Still unhappy. The more novels are written, the more outrageous they become, and there are so many people asking for short ones, it's quite depressing! In the evening, there was little talk in the room, and I quit smoking again. I sat still and was bored, and went to bed at eight o'clock.It was a day to remember - there was nothing fun about it!On such a day, I can't even write a beautiful sentence!Why don't we have great works?Hmph, who knew! 2. Old poetry and anemia The foggy season is coming again, and the Islamic Association invited me and Mr. Song Zhi to co-write a drama with the theme of Islam.We wrote "Nation First."This play has been staged in Chongqing, Chengdu, Kunming, Dali, Hong Kong, Guilin, Lanzhou, and Enshi.It is a successful work in the literature and art of the Anti-Japanese War.Because of writing this script, I made many Muslim friends.If you have friends, you are not afraid of being poor.I am poor, my life is not stable, but I am not lonely. In the winter of 29, I started to suffer from dizziness due to rushing to write the script.Life is hard, lack of nutrition, and love to drink two cups of wine, so he suffers from anemia.When anemia meets hard work, you will get dizzy-when you lower your head, you will spin around and have to lie still.This disease has not healed yet, and it must occur once or twice a year.As soon as the illness arrives, you have to lie down, and your work stops completely!Anxious, but nothing can be done.Some say my work is not as good as it was before the war.I do not deny.Think about it, during the Anti-Japanese War, I was wandering around, without a definite place to live, without proper meals, and was in danger of fainting from time to time, how could I write every single word? In the past two years, two things seem to have taken hold in my life: one is that I must write some old poems in summer, and the other is that I must suffer from dizziness in winter. -------- ① Refers to the period from 1941 to 1942. I haven't done much work on old poems, so I never touch them unless I have a very free time.The so-called "extremely idle" people are excluding the time of traveling in the mountains and rivers, because when playing in the mountains and rivers, one needs to move one's legs and feet, one needs to look at one's eyes, and one needs to appreciate one's heart. Gaowo doesn't even bother to dream like that.Besides, the famous mountains, great rivers and historic sites have already been praised by the ancients countless times, and adding one or a half of my own poems that don't look like it is just a shame, so there is no need to do so.When I really felt something in my heart and the poetry flourished, I also went to make a few lines of vernacular poems. Even if I couldn’t explain what the predecessors hadn’t said, after all, the form and language could still stay the same, and I could write it on paper or wild shop There is a little bit of smell on the mud wall.If you don't write old poems like this even among the mountains and rivers, your hands and hearts will inevitably become more and more blunt, and gradually it seems that you can't tell the difference between the plain and the dark. However, in the past two years, I seem to have added a "season of old poetry".This is in summer.In the past two years, my body has always been troubled, and I don't know when it broke down; so I went to live in the countryside as soon as summer came, to avoid the hustle and bustle of the city, and I can almost nourish my heart.In the countryside of Sichuan, unlike the northern villages where two or three hundred households live in one place, there are only three or five households, and there is not even a small wine shop to be found.You have to go to the market to buy peanuts, and the location of the market is often ten miles away.To see friends, often have to go miles and miles.Farmers and men have their own work and life, but outsiders can't get in their hands: watch them plant rice seedlings, herd cattle, pull weeds, grow vegetables, talk and laugh, just "watch".Sometimes, there is no place to say a word from day to night!Ordinarily, in this environment, you should immerse yourself in writing and stay at home.But no.I'm here to nourish my heart, not to work hard.Even if you have to work every day, there must be a certain limit. You can only write, for example, a thousand words a day;In this way, after writing the thousand or five hundred words, I have nothing to do but wait for the sunset to go to bed.At night, not even a ghost can be seen.At this time of year, I am indeed "extremely" idle. People are strange things. It is not good to be too busy, nor is it good to be too idle.When I have nothing to do, although my body is idle, my mind cannot be as quiet as a stone.The mountains, rivers, bamboos, trees, thatched cottages and thatched pavilions in front of me seemed to force me to say something; before I had any specific expression, I was already humming in my mouth.What he hums is not a song or an article, but a poem with an accent and no words.I couldn't stop here, humming, I couldn't help but think of some words to fill the empty tone; in the end, it became a poem, an old poem.Last summer I composed more than a dozen poems, some of which were quite good, and some of which were completely bad.This summer, I wrote more than a dozen more, but almost none of them are decent.I just hummed like that, and wrote the words on the paper when I hummed them, without frowning to think about them, because this was just a whim, and it was enough for me to hum and play to satisfy myself, so there was no need to work hard. .Here are the four poems of village dwellings, without the meaning of "this is a sample", but just a little trace of life: The hut is windy, summer is like autumn, and the days are long and the bamboo shadows lead to tranquility. Layers of forests are hidden in front of the mountain, and streams and ditches flow everywhere after the rain. Occasionally get new poems and books with detailed characters, every credit village wine moistens the leisurely autumn; The middle-aged is not completely lazy when he likes to be quiet. He sits and waits for the sound of cuckoos to close at midnight. Half-year-old and no official are honest and happy, and articles are life and wine. Every time you look at the flowers with deep affection, you will only know the supreme poetry when you are lightly drunk! Send the rain and wind to sing Liu'an, and the borrower goes to cover the Chapmen. Zhuang Sheng's butterfly game, the solitary lamp in the hut illuminates the traces of dreams. The middle-aged has no hope of returning to youth, and is a wanderer in the rivers and lakes; Poverty is not bad, and the heart is not locked, and the money buys wine and friends to go on a blind date. The article surprises the ordinary people and is expensive for a thousand baht, and the poetry and writing are new in half a day. If Xu Taiping's fish and rice are cheap, the universe will be idle for the house. In the past five or nine years, I would like to taste death and cultivate immortality lazily. A bitter face, spitting and smiling, a half-old idiot drunk and asleep. Every time I go to Sichuan in a difficult and dangerous poem, I know a little bit about the chaos and fate; If you cry in response to the crime, dare to look forward to the next generation of cuckoos! -------- ①The poems include: "Beibei Ci Sui" In the mist, there are plum blossoms, rivers and mountains, and there is a new year outside the small Three Gorges.I still have to get drunk when I am sick, and my home is north of Lugou Bridge. "Shuhuai" is bitter and sad, step by step to the west, until the river is clear, the eyebrows will not open.The fame behind him keeps his integrity, and the scenery in front of him is ashamed of his poetic talent; when he talks about people, he is not as good as his spring and autumn pens, and he only knows the sorrow of sages and philosophers when he enters the world; In summer, being able to live in the countryside with bamboo forests, drink two cups of white dry wine, and recite a few old poems, no matter how you say it, it finally makes sense.When it comes to winter, in the past two years, it has not been so optimistic.In winter, I always live in the city.There are many people, the air is bad, and the diet is not good. At the same time, I have to write articles to sell money, and at the same time, I have to handle the things entrusted by everyone; thus, I am tired from being busy, and I am sick from being tired; some nutrients of cheap rice are obviously not enough to support this work. Originally not strong body.Once I fell ill, everything ran aground; writing and running were replaced by taking medicine and lying still.There is no need to get angry, the disease is designed to torment people, and it is not afraid of us intimidating and demonstrating against it.Sickness, objectively speaking, will make people spend more time nourishing their Qi.It uses torture and pain to stir you up and oppress you; you must not get angry, don’t get angry, otherwise, the disease will grow from small to serious, and even bring your life home triumphantly.It is best not to resist, but to accept it, making it helpless.If you let it retreat in shame, you will win.That's it, I'm always slowly getting rid of the illness; it's mostly spring already.When the end of spring and summer came, I went to the countryside again, keeping my eyes open, trying to walk, writing a little article every day; humming half a poem when I had nothing to do. Three and four are empty After the July 7th Anti-Japanese War, I escaped from Jinan.Beiping was once again occupied by devils just like in Gengzi's year.But the youngest son, whom the mother misses day and night, ran to the southwest.I can imagine how my mother misses me, but I can't go back.Whenever I receive a letter from home, I dare not open it right away. I am afraid, afraid, afraid, afraid of the ominous news.People, even if they live to be eighty or ninety years old, they can still be somewhat childish if they have a mother.Losing a loving mother is like a flower in a vase. Although it still has color and fragrance, it has lost its root.A person who has a mother has peace of mind.I am afraid, afraid, afraid that the letter from home will bring bad news, telling me that it is a flower that has lost its roots. Last year, I couldn't find anything about my mother's living conditions in my letters home.I doubt, fear.I can imagine that if there is any misfortune, my family will miss me in exile and be alone, or I can't bear to tell you.My mother's birthday is in September, and I wrote a birthday letter in August and a half, planning to arrive before the birthday.In the letter, I asked to be sure to write down the details of the birthday, so that I would no longer have any doubts.On December 26, when I returned from a meeting of the Cultural Labor Force, I received a letter from home.I dare not read it.Before going to bed, I opened the letter, and my mother has been dead for a year! For a few days, I couldn't work.Because I wanted to be a writer, I suffered from my mother, but she never said a word of complaint.She is illiterate, and whenever I go home, she always asks with a smile: "Where are you writing a book again?" This is the greatest encouragement, she is willing to suffer, and will never stop her son from writing a book! Life is given to me by my mother.I was able to grow into an adult because of my mother's blood and sweat.It was my mother who influenced me to become a not very bad person.My character and habits are passed down from my mother.She had never enjoyed a single day of happiness in her life, and she ate coarse grains when she died.well!What else?Heartache!Heartache! When I went to Chengdu, I met old friends from Qi University.They said: Qi University's school building in Jinan has been completely occupied by the enemy, everything we have has been looted, and even the green grass on the campus has been eaten up by enemy horses. Well, there is nothing but me, my wife, my children, and five lives!And whether these five lives can have enough food and clothing to maintain, so as not to starve to death, is still not sure.Their lives are short, they die; I should return to Yin, I die.Anyway, you can't lose your integrity because of poverty and death!Because of patriotism and integrity, I am afraid that it is forgivable to be a little bit cruel, right? What is utensil cash?Just buy and earn again in the future!Uh, I'm afraid after this lesson, I will never buy decent things, so as not to worry about gains and losses, and I will never save money, even for children's education expenses.I think that after the victory of the Anti-Japanese War, it is more meaningful to travel when you have money, and to know more about famous mountains and rivers in China than to buy things.As for books, although they are favorite things, they should no longer be collected by themselves, but should be placed in public libraries.