Chapter 12 Me and "New Period Literature"

In the fourth issue of "Contemporary Writers Review" in 1988, there was an article "The Struggle Between Aesthetic Value Orientation and Rational Causality-Liu Xinwu's Theory" by Sun Shaozhen.He wrote in the article: "After witnessing several historical stages of literary development in the past few years, and re-reading "The Class Teacher", my most prominent feeling is: I am really sweating for him. Is it the historical masterpiece that gave readers the joy of spiritual liberation in 1977? Is this the masterpiece of the era that was so sensational that many people rushed to tell everyone? It made my eyes see more colors, and made my sleeping heart feel more Is it such a work that makes my frozen lips spit out more complicated words?"

He, a critic with creative and aesthetic enthusiasm, is ashamed for me, the starting point of the new era of literature, which begins with such crudeness and cumbersomeness.The sweat he was sweating at that time is the same as the sweat that many well-meaning people sweated for me in 1978 because of the "scar literature" that had just emerged at that time, which seemed so outrageous and rebellious. They are two completely different khans.In the past ten years, people who care about me and the literature of the new era have experienced such a huge change in their sweaty hands. Many people think that when I wrote "Class Teacher", I was still teaching in middle school. In fact, I was already working as a literary editor at Beijing Publishing House at that time. "Head Teacher" was published in the 11th issue of "People's Literature" in 1977. Because "People's Literature" was published on the 20th of each month, and it was out of date, it was already early 1978 when "Head Teacher" met the readers.What was the atmosphere of the times at that time? The famous Third Plenary Session of the Eleventh Central Committee of the Communist Party of China had not yet been held, the "Tiananmen incident" had not yet been vindicated, thousands of "rightists" had not yet corrected their mistakes, and many "Cultural Revolution" victims are still not liberated.In a word, the inertia of "taking class struggle as the key link" still exists strongly and stubbornly in social life.To this day, I still miss the active group in the literary and art editorial office of Beijing Publishing House at that time. At that time, that group was dominated by a precious spirit of obeying the times rather than mechanically obeying the arrangement.No one announced that a large literary journal like the pre-Cultural Revolution magazine could be revived, but colleagues in the editorial department boldly set out to start the now very famous "October".At that time, I participated in the editing work of "October", and I proposed to ask Lin Jinlan for a draft of a short story.Nowadays, editors of all literary journals would think that it is the most normal thing to ask Lin Jinlan, an excellent short story writer, for a manuscript. But at that time, my proposal was a very bold and fresh idea, because at that time, the most outstanding writer in Beijing One (probably one of the best in the country) short story writer Lin Jinlan has been removed from the Beijing Federation of Literary and Art Circles and sent to the club of the district cultural center.Some people said that they saw him selling movie tickets at the box office (Lin Jinlan told me later that he kept complaining that he was sick and did not go to work, so the scene of selling tickets was not certain). Could it be that such a person, without waiting for the Federation of Literary and Art Circles to reaffirm his value, " Do you want to ask him to write a manuscript without authorization? But none of us want to wait, we don't pray for the "sacred decree", and we don't hope for gifts.We are true to our conscience, and we do what we know to be right.The young editor Chen Xiaomin who came back from an appointment with Lin Jinlan told us excitedly that Lin Jinlan surprised her because he suddenly looked like the famous movie actor Zhao Dan, and after sitting down for a conversation, she felt that he was similar to another famous movie actor Sun Daolin , her message at the end was particularly inspiring—Lin Jinlan said he might give us a short story.The second time Chen Xiaomin came back from Lin Jinlan's place, she really had a stack of manuscripts, and she happily described to us that when she went, Lin Jinlan was sitting on a small bench, using a chair as a table to polish his manuscripts.But for the novel Lin Jinlan returned to the literary world—I remember it was called "The Plaster Doctor"—Chen Xiaomin, as the first reader, said she couldn't understand it.Chen Xiaomin was one of the most rebellious thinkers among the workers, peasants and soldiers during the "Cultural Revolution". She was once criticized for "unhealthy literary and artistic thoughts". During the "Tiananmen Incident", she posted poems many times. Almost all of her resentful works are included in Tiananmen Poems.But even she couldn't enter Lin Jinlan's literary world at that time.Later, I was the one who read Lin Jinlan's manuscript. I only instinctively confirmed that it was a work of high artistic quality and profound connotation, but I couldn't express my feelings in rational language. "October" later published that work, and like Lin Jinlan's past and present wonderful works, it did not cause even a small sensation.Thinking back to this point, I am more and more aware that it was that era and that reader group at that time that forced my "Class Teacher" and other "scar literature" works to the position that has left traces so far. In a situation, what the social group pays attention to cannot be the pure aesthetic height, what they call and embrace must first be the courage to see the world with open eyes and boldly criticize without waiting for instructions.

As I recall, October decided very quickly to cover the uncorrected victims of 1957.I have been to Cong Weixi's home which is less than eight square meters. Every night, he shares a dilapidated big bed with his old mother and his good son who has grown taller than him.I didn't see him the first time, but I met a familiar cadre on the tram after leaving his house.He asked me what I was busy with, and I told him that I had just visited Cong Weixi. After hearing this, he couldn't help reminding me seriously: "You have to pay attention! You are so young, how do you know anything about China—" The outstretched palm flipped, and looked around vigilantly.So when I went to visit Wang Meng in a guest house in Beichizi, except for the editorial department and family members, I didn't tell anyone else about it before and after.Wang Meng made me a cup of very thick milk powder and added several spoonfuls of soft white sugar.From my first meeting with him, I felt he was a man of strength of character, whose sense of humor and confidence put me to shame.I have a premonition that after some real writers like him return to the literary world, it may be difficult for me to support myself in the literary world only by "telling the truth" like "Teacher in Charge".When I left the guest house and got on the bus, I didn't think about the "good-hearted person" flipping his palms. I thought I should put my potential literary ability (I am confident that I have it, this ability is described in "The Class Teacher" Not only failed to play in the middle, but also received a lot of repression from the outside to oneself) release as much as possible.Two years later, when Wang Meng saw me, he had just finished reading a short story I had just published, and said to me, "Hey, you played well!" I knew there was something in his words.

Around the spring of 1978, the "Literary Review" held a special symposium for the "Class Teacher".At that meeting, I met for the first time many seniors and celebrities in the literary world. They enthusiastically supported the "Teacher in Charge". He affirmed the literary phenomenon formed by a large number of "scar literature" such as Wang Yaping's "Sacred Mission", which should be regarded as the "official" voice.As pointed out by some overseas researchers who have studied Chinese literature in the past ten years, facing the literature that China has re-leaved from the desert at that time, the Chinese "officials", the Chinese literary circles, and the Chinese people have achieved a very rare The "honeymoon together" state of affirming and supporting each other is a rare phenomenon since 1949.Therefore, it would be too hypocritical for a writer like me to say that the rise of his popularity is entirely due to the masses. In May 1988, I went to Saint-Nazaire, France with the poet Munk. When the local "Western France" and the local TV station introduced the two of us, they pointed out that I was a "writer within the system", which means I am a writer working with the "official" post-Third Plenary Session of the Eleventh Central Committee in China committed to reform and opening up.Of course, when they sometimes refer to "writers outside the system", it does not mean that the writer is anti-"official", but more means that the writer himself has not been recognized by the "official".

Maybe it's because of my inner temperament that I can't completely get rid of the social reality and the influence of the nation or race I belong to.Although in the previous years of literary trekking, I am more and more willing to accept the coexistence of multiple literatures under various aesthetic premise, even for the most extreme literary ivory towers, I respect their existence.I joined the Communist Party of China in 1983. The reason why I joined was indeed that I pinned my hope of national rejuvenation on the reform and opening up carried out by the Communist Party of China, including its own.Now I understand more and more that literature has its independent and uninhibited nature that transcends politics and economy. I will never completely dissolve my literary activities into my political emotions, but at least for now I don’t want to retreat into a to the ivory tower.

My enthusiasm for reform and opening up has been hurt many times. Of course, it is impossible not to affect my creation, but it can be said with certainty that as far as my personal political enthusiasm is concerned, the effect of these injuries is negative. As far as my personal literary career is concerned, the effects of these injuries are mostly positive.Because every time I lick off the blood of the scars, I add a layer of understanding about our nation, about the real society I live in, about the humanistic environment shrouded in contemporary China, about human nature, about the mysterious relationship between the individual and the fate of the universe. knowledge and experience.

After "The Class Teacher" came out, I received countless letters from readers. After another short story "The Position of Love" came out, the number of letters I received increased to more than 7,000, and more than 99% of them supported and encouraged me.But at that time, a letter sent from Guangzhou was sent to a certain unit by mistake because of the wrong address, and it was opened for reading.The letter was written by two sisters who claimed to have joined the party honorably during the "cleaning up class ranks" stage of the "Cultural Revolution".They think that the image of Xie Huimin, secretary of the Youth League branch that I criticized very mildly, is a distortion and slander of members of the Communist Youth League. They think that exposing the dark side of society like "Class Teacher" can only applaud enemies at home and abroad.It's a pity that their letter didn't survive. I relayed it far more calmly than they did. They seemed to have used a more severe tone and stepped up to a higher "line".Originally, even criticism like theirs, as an author, could be listened to, but at that time a magazine in Hong Kong published an interview that had not been reviewed by me.In that interview, I clearly denied the "Cultural Revolution" and accepted the term "New Realism". Therefore, some people advocated combining the "Letter from Two Communist Party Members" with my Hong Kong magazine. The relevant "speeches" were combined into an "internal briefing", which was reported and distributed.Fortunately, a kind senior told me about this possible situation.I was very excited and shocked at the time.Many years have passed, and now some people may not remember the situation at that time for various reasons. There are many young friends who were young at that time, so it is impossible to know clearly.I don't know how many people can still remember that Chen Chong's first film on the screen was "Youth" directed by Xie Jin (not the later "Little Flower" that made her and Liu Xiaoqing stars).It is a very weird film. Needless to say, the film denies the "Gang of Four", but it praises the "Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution" very enthusiastically.The hearing-impaired heroine played by Chen Chong finally came to Beijing through the "walking series" in the film, and accepted Chairman Mao's inspection with other "Red Guards" excitedly. Chairman Mao waving his hands (documentary footage used) and the scene where the "Red Guards" played by Chen Chong and others burst into tears.This shows that the "Cultural Revolution" was not completely negated as soon as the "Gang of Four" fell.Whether or not to completely negate the "Cultural Revolution" is related to whether or not Comrade Mao Zedong's previous instructions must be adopted with the "two whatevers", that is, an attitude that cannot be denied at all and should still be implemented. sensitive political issues.Of course I don't want to, and I don't think I should be a poster child for being politically wrong, because if that briefing was compiled, even if I agree with the interviewer's term "neorealism", it would be an example of opposing "socialist realism". "An example of "deviating from Mao Zedong's literary thought".Later, due to my objection and the wisdom of one or two old comrades, this bulletin was not compiled and distributed.Thinking about it today, even if this newsletter was edited and distributed, it was nothing, but at the time, the emergence of this situation made me sadly understand that in the operating mechanism at that time, not only did I receive thousands of letters of support and encouragement from readers What weight, even the affirmative articles published in the "People's Daily" do not necessarily count. As long as there is a "brilliant" "briefing" or "internal reference" (even without spreading rumors), it is enough to make a People's fortunes reversed.That is, from that time on, I was determined to work hard to change this bad mechanism, and consciously devoted myself to the trend of institutional reforms on political openness and transparency.

I don't want myself to be a passer-by in the literary world after the wave of "scar literature" has passed. I have loved literature since I was a child, and I hope to be a writer as a lifelong career.Therefore, since 1979, I have paid attention to mobilizing my aesthetic potential and adjusting my literary pace.I wrote the short story "I Love Every Green Leaf", the novella "Ruyi" and "The Interchange Bridge".I began to turn my literary gaze and pursuit to living individuals, to explore and explore human nature, and to delve into the structural techniques and narrative methods of novels.Maybe I am the one who wrote the most "creative talks" besides novels among the writers who entered the literary world, because I have a driving force in my heart that forces me to constantly adjust my aesthetic consciousness to keep up with the rapid development of literature situation.My unremitting efforts have not failed. Since 1980, I have published an average of two to three new books every year. Lin Jinlan officially admitted that I have the ability to write real novels after reading my "Stravel Bridge".I am deeply comforted by this evaluation of the writer whom I respect as Brother Lin. In 1985, my novel won the second Mao Dun Literature Award.

At the beginning of 1987, when I had been working in the "People's Literature" magazine for half a year, the "tongue coating incident" happened.TV viewers all over China heard the announcer broadcast a "news just received" on CCTV's "News Network" one night in February, and I was suspended for inspection.The news was immediately broadcast to the world by China Radio International in 38 languages, and it became the headlines of newspapers the next day. "Guangming Daily" not only put this news as the headline on the front page, but also did not use the word "comrade" when referring to me in the summary under the headline.After being suspended for a full 200 days, I was reinstated and granted a 50-day lecture visit to the United States.I find that my popularity abroad has suddenly increased to a strange level. I hope that I and other Chinese writers will no longer attract the attention of the world in this situation, but this is not something that I and Chinese writers can do independently .I reunited with Lu Xinhua in Los Angeles on the west coast of the United States.Like Wang Yaping, Lu Xinhua has gradually withdrew from the literary world since the wave of "scar literature" subsided. Lu Xinhua went to the University of California, Berkeley to study for a master's degree in comparative literature, while Wang Yaping abandoned literature and went into business.In Los Angeles, I heard many romantic legends about Wang Yaping getting rich. But when I went there, he went back to China on business. He called me long-distance from Beijing and asked me to wait for him in Los Angeles. He said that he would entertain me and talk about old times. friendship.At that time, I was tired of traveling and determined to return home early, so I didn't see him, and I couldn't confirm those rumors about him.In Lu Xinhua’s dormitory, I saw a photo that was also kept at home: I, him and Wang Yaping, three representative figures of “Scar Literature”, were photographed at the flower market outside Chongwenmen in early 1979. At that time, Wang Yaping was in full military uniform.Lu Xinhua told me that he had also heard the saying that the ten-year period of China's "new period literature" ended with the outbreak of the "tongue coating incident" and its aftermath, and this decade can be said to "begin with Liu Xinwu and end with Liu Xinwu." Liu Xinwu ends", no matter whether the literature in the future is stagnant, developing, or whatever, it belongs to another literary period.I told him that I was detached from my personal circumstances, but I felt sorry for some other people's affairs.For example, because of the psychological impact caused by the "tongue coating incident", Lin Jinlan's three very well-written short stories were left in the editorial department of "People's Literature", and they cannot be published now.After returning from the United States, I returned to work in the editorial department, and learned that two of Lin Jinlan’s three short stories had been rejected, and one was still under pressure. I immediately urged my colleagues in the editorial department to publish it, which was published in February 1988. No. "Bai'er".Reading "Bai Er" printed in the magazine, I felt very uneasy. I thought of the scene of asking Lin Jinlan for a manuscript when "October" magazine was founded in 1978.Lin Jinlan, who basically does not participate in politics and devotes himself to artistic exploration and is willing to be lonely, is a witness to the development of Chinese literature since liberation. What he is allowed or not allowed quite accurately reflects the rise and fall of our literary world.It is a pity that at the end of the 1980s, the Chinese literary world had to repeat the situation that even Lin Jinlan was not allowed

Ten years is just a fleeting moment in the vast river of human development, but ten years is quite a long period of time for individuals with body and soul. Even if a human life is counted as a hundred years, it is only ten years , and excluding the developmental period and the aging period, how many decades of life can be used and harvested? When I was working in Beijing Publishing House, I not only participated in the editing and distribution of "October" magazine, but also served as the editor in charge of novels.The novel was called "Jacques", signed by two people, but in fact it was mainly written by Xie Kun.I remember that it was an autumn afternoon, I asked Xie Kun to convey the opinion of the final judge, and asked him to make the last revision of the manuscript.The author, who was about my age, had a particularly gloomy face that day, and his voice was particularly hoarse when he talked to me, but the heart song he confided to me is still unforgettable to me.He said: "Life is a mysterious thing. You can't pick the time, you can't pick the place, especially you can't pick the race, you can't pick the genetics, you just get born like that. If you have talent, then your talent can only be limited. Look for opportunities to play in your environment. Some people have bloomed their talents before the 'Cultural Revolution', they published works, and gained a certain reputation. During the 'Cultural Revolution', they were criticized, they did not share The Cultural Revolution doesn't want them to cooperate, and they don't have any regrets if they don't publish their works. However, like you and my generation, we were young before the Cultural Revolution, and it wasn't our turn to show it. It is the most critical life time between our twenties and thirties. We are either willing to be submerged, or we can only look for opportunities to display our talents in the most absurd humanistic environment, so we also contribute in the end. I also want to publish my works. Those who play the piano want to play "Yellow River" on stage, those who play vocal music want to sing "Piano Accompaniment <Red Lantern" on stage, and those who want to act in movies must only go to the stage like "The Great Wall of the South China Sea". Find a character in the film...Everything can be stored, but youth can’t be stored, it can only be consumed in time. I started working on this "Yaksa" several years ago, and I have already got this job, and I really can’t bear to give it up , Actually, I understand very well in my heart that this kind of stuff is still in the service of politics, that is, "anti-revisionism". It is said that it is a historical novel, but in fact, it is inevitable to insinuate that in the future when the relationship between the two countries is repaired, such things should be automatically eliminated. I really want to end this strenuous work early and write something like "The Head Teacher". In fact, "The Head Teacher" is too political, but this time you are not driven by politics to engage in literary services, you Courageously expressing your own social and political views... We should all seize the good time to write something really good..." At the end, his swollen face turned red.But before I could send him the sample book of "Jacques", he died suddenly.I remember that after I learned that he was seriously ill and was hospitalized, I came to a hospital in the army in a trance and uneasy mood.The equipment and medical technology in the hospital are the best, and the friend who helped him to stay in the hospital sincerely asked the medical staff to do everything possible to save his talent that has not been truly displayed.But Xie Kun collapsed very quickly. His liver was necrotic, and it was said that his liver was crumbled into pieces, which was caused by long-term malnutrition and overwork.When I arrived at the hospital, he was parked in the sealed emergency room, and I could only watch him through the glass partition. He was in a dying state.When I recall this tragic scene, I realize more deeply that I have been able to display my talents in these years, and I have gradually got rid of external restraints, and built my own conscience system and aesthetic consciousness. And how lucky to have gained an inner sense of respect and confidence.

Xie Kun is not the only contemporary I have sent away in these years, and I thought of Zhang Wei'an again.I remember that in the spring of 1978, a group of friends of similar age who wanted to try their hand at the literary world attended the first post-disaster Beijing Federation of Literary and Art Circles Congress at the Beijing Workers' Stadium.One evening I called five or six of them to the grove, and leaning against a large concrete pipe member that had been left there for some reason, I read to them the manuscript of the short story "Wake Up, Brother," and at the end They sincerely encouraged me and gave me advice.Among those friends was Zhang Wei'an, who specializes in novel reviews, so I paid special attention to his opinions.He has been paying attention to my creation since then.I switched from writing about major social issues to exploring human nature. After I wrote the novella "Ruyi", he soon published a sincere and profound comment in "Guangming Daily".But not long after that, he was diagnosed with lung cancer, and he died more than half a year later.Sometimes life is so melancholy. Opportunities are rare, but when the opportunities come, the buds will fall without opening. Although I have complaints about that period of history and reserve my personal views on some major events, I have to say from the bottom of my heart that it was a good period in general, and the key lies in the reform and opening up that made our lives richer Be creative and colorful.Instead of "taking class struggle as the key link" and engaging in political movements, more and more people are concentrating their ideas and efforts on how to make the country rich and strong, and how to have a more civilized life.Since 1985, the Chinese literary world has obviously tended to be diverse, and there have been quite a few works that stunned or puzzled ordinary people. An up-and-coming character that distinguishes it from writers like me.Needless to say, there are not only disputes between writers with different aesthetic opinions (this is absolutely normal), but also estrangement, misunderstanding, sectarianism and even interpersonal disputes (this is not absolutely abnormal). Therefore, each writer once again clearly, Finding your place has become inevitable. I can be regarded as a penetrating figure in the ten-year literary movement in the new era. I published new works every year. Even during the period when I was suspended for censorship in 1987, due to the trust and support of Shanghai Magazine, I continued to Articles published in the "Private Photo Album" column have always been noticed by more readers. In 1985, I successively published documentary novels such as "May 19 Long Shot" and "Bus Aria", which once again caused a sensation.Hubei writer Zu Wei said to me when he met me in Hong Kong in 1986: "Whether people like or dislike what you write, they have to admit your existence. It is not easy for a writer to cause a sensation three times in a few years!" The three times he mentioned, the first time naturally refers to the time when "Head Teacher", "Love Position", and "Wake Up, Brother" were released consecutively; The works of Mao Dun Literary Award have been very popular for a long time, and the award seems to be a matter of course. It was not in the prediction of many people, and I myself did not have any hope, but it was also selected by the judges by secret ballot, which made it even more sensational); the third The second time refers to the publication of "May 19 Long Shot" and "Bus Aria".When Zu Wei said this, of course, he did not expect that there would be another sensation like the "tongue coating incident" waiting for me.After the "tongue coating incident", except for some reports, the literary world seems to have lost its sensational effect on the whole.This new literary situation has been discussed and is still being explored today.I don't think the success of a literary work is a sensational social effect, and my "three sensations" does not mean that I have achieved solid results in literary creation.But looking back on the literary journey of the past ten years, one thing I have a clear conscience-I am consistent in the basic orientation, I have changes, but the changes are adjustments and advances, not speculative turns or cynicism compromise.My creative inspiration comes from my heart, and the surging emotions in my heart can be decomposed into three parts. One part is that I deeply realize that I am an independent individual. As an independent individual, I have both unique The value of life, inviolable dignity, solid conscience and rationality, as well as rich, chaotic and even mysterious experiences and desires that even oneself cannot explain clearly.The other part is that I am soberly aware that I am a Chinese intellectual, and that my life was spent between the second half of the 20th century and the beginning of the 21st century. The fate of the molecular group wants to be separated, but it cannot be separated.Another part is that I am deeply aware that I am a yellow race, an Oriental, and a Chinese, so I am a product of a race, a culture, and an inherent tradition.No matter how I rebel against the tradition that made me, I still belong to this tradition in the end. Even if I and all the rebels in our race, nation, and cultural tradition gather together and take the strongest measures, in our lifetimes, at best It is almost impossible for us to make our traditions change, or to integrate with the cultural traditions of other races, nations, and cultures to a certain extent. It is almost impossible to completely make ourselves a character in another tradition. In March 1988, I published a paper "Chinese Writers and the Contemporary World" in "People's Daily". In April, I published a paper "Writers and Readers" in "Wen Wei Po". The psychological background of these articles, which is an almost weekly "one leaf view" column, is as described above. What makes me feel infinitely gratified is that even in my most unlucky time, as a social person, I still get warmth, love and encouragement from society. After I was suspended for inspection in 1987, I received an invitation from Guo Youliang, general manager of Hongda Company in Kunming, Yunnan, to meet with him and recuperate physically and mentally.We didn't know each other at first, he just read some of my works, and we became close friends.It would be a big mistake to think that our friendship is only based on his appreciation of my works and my appreciation of his warmth during my most difficult times.Each of us has discovered in the depths of the other the chain that will bind us together forever. In August 1988, Guo Youliang flew from Beijing to Japan for a visit, and then flew back to Beijing from Japan.In my home, my wife asked him what his impression of Japan was and what he bought back.His expression was serious and determined: "There are so many things there! At first I wanted to buy everything, but later I didn't want to buy anything - because even if I have a lot of foreign exchange and can buy a lot of things, how can I Buy all the good things from Japan to China When I boarded the plane from Narita Airport in Tokyo, I said to myself silently: My mission is not to buy good things from Japan, but to bring China—at least Kunming ——to be as rich as Japan!" My heart throbbed with his words. I have many friends outside the literary world. There are not many entrepreneur friends like Guo Youliang, and more are unknown people in the market: workers in electric wire factories, self-employed people who set up stalls selling clothes, hairdressers who specialize in women's hair, Boiler workers and porters... I don't make friends with them to "experience life" and accumulate materials for writing novels.They hardly read any of my works and I never talked about literature or art with them. We drank together, played poker, chatted about mountains...? When I moved three times in ten years and the house It is true that the move is getting bigger and bigger, and the "software" is indeed constantly updated. When they are invited to play, drink and chat, they sometimes directly ask: "Why are you dating us?" To be honest, I can't answer.I just feel that I cannot be "literary" as a whole, especially not "purely literary". After all, I am first and foremost a human being, a living person with needs other than literature, and I cannot lose my vitality.I have used the phrase "trivial pleasures of life" in more than one of my works. I think it is no accident that I am a person who really cherishes and is good at enjoying all kinds of trivial pleasures of life, which are often absolutely non-literary. I am soberly aware that I am not the only one in this world, I must survive with other people, and the people who have sex with me in the network of life include those who love me and those who hate me. Hate and other external emotional shocks have enough tolerance.In the process of colliding with others and participating in social life, I enrich my experience and emotions, and I am pleasantly surprised to find that there are so many conscience, longing and mysterious factors in my heart that are not disturbed and controlled by the outside world .Although I have gained a lot, I am not afraid of losing them, because I feel that I still have the passion and strength to renew and create better, so I am full of confidence.