Chapter 12 10 Xing Shen (1966-1970, thirty-one to thirty-five years old)

After the end of "Wenxing" on March 31, 1968, the British "Economist" published a report on April 6. This report, the internal publication "International Public Opinion Analysis" published by the KMT "News Bureau" on April 19 "In, there is a secret translation: Taipei's "Central Daily" once published an advertisement saying: "The last chance to buy Wenxing books and periodicals." This is the most lively and famous publishing organization in Taiwan, announcing its intention to close in this way.The Wenxing Bookstore closed at the end of last month, and the KMT conservatives have sealed off the last institution for free speech in Taiwan.

The opening of Wenxing Bookstore was purely for commercial interests. In 1960, it got lucky. The magazine "Wenxing" was widely welcomed by students because of its criticism of conservative cultural policies.The magazine has discussed questions about the value of Western and "Chinese culture" and even touched on political liberalization and demands for greater freedom for youth.While these issues are discussed in a “Chinese” veil, it takes considerable political courage to address them in Taiwan. Although several of its authors were dismissed and imprisoned for occasional clashes with authorities, Wenxing outlived other outspoken journals largely because it had friends in high positions.But two years ago, "Wen Xing" violated Taiwan's unwritten law, criticizing Xie Ranzhi, director of the fourth group of the Kuomintang, and criticized the "president". The registration license of "Wen Xing" magazine was revoked for one year, and the board of directors of "Wen Xing" bookstore was reorganized to accommodate more KMT members.Since then, "Wenxing" magazine has not been allowed to resume publication, but "Wenxing" magazine continues to have its influence and become an attraction for young people.

About a year ago, Zhonghua Magazine, which the KMT secretly supports and often predicts the policies of the authorities, attacked Wenxing for "walking the same line as the Communist Party."The magazine demanded the closure of Munsung Bookstore on the grounds of plotting to create a split during the Kanran era.In March of the same year, the list of replacement directors was drawn up. The closure of Wenxing Bookstore was based on a recent order from the National Security Council, Taiwan's authority, on the grounds of prohibiting waste, "improving the current social atmosphere", and ordering the increase of patriotic content in mass communication. The "Taiwan authorities" are obviously 'fearful that a more prosperous Taiwan will come under greater pressure from democracy, so try to reduce the limits of freedom that Taiwan currently allows.

The Economist's report is very concise.The "Zhonghua Magazine", which mentioned the Kuomintang's secret support and often predicted the policies of the authorities, was Hu Qiuyuan's magazine.Hu Qiuyuan may have overestimated that he had done a certain degree of loyalty work to fuel the flames. In fact, the Kuomintang itself wanted to eliminate "Wen Xing" and did not fuel the flames.The waves themselves are still waves, and under the waves, "the stars will sink to the bottom of the sea" is a matter of time.Li Shangyin wrote "Bicheng Poetry", two of which are: "When the stars sink to the bottom of the sea, you can see them, and when the rain passes through the river source, look at them." I, who belonged to the "forbidden" and died together with Wen Xing, have witnessed everything in "Wen Xing" Whether it is "seeing it when you see it" or "watching it from another seat", there are indeed many vicissitudes of life and death. Among them, Xiao Tongzi was the most vicissitudes. He was involved for no reason. The party-state relations and personnel relations cultivated for decades were destroyed. Now that he has been buried in grass for a long time, I really hope his soul rests in peace; followed by Xiao Mengneng’s wife Zhu Wanjian. Entering other people's ideal activities, losing her own hard-working shop and life's career, and finally her family was broken, and she went to court with her husband and "new women". Great strong woman.

Sixteen years after Wenxing Bookstore closed, on June 5, 1984, I wrote to Mrs. Xiao Zhu Wanjian, saying: Recalling nineteen years ago, when the Kuomintang strangled Wen Xing magazine, I said: "Wen Xing is a mainstream. Aggregating small streams from all walks of life and becoming a brilliant guide; once "Wen Xing" is gone, the mainstream will become chaotic, and the Kuomintang will be even worse sooner or later, and it will lose the lifeblood of the "country" and the youth of others. One day the Kuomintang They will know: When all the circumstances change, they will want to have "Wen Xing" but cannot get it! They even want to have "Free China" but cannot get it! Only then will they discover—belatedly—“Wen Xing” It is too polite to oppose them in the style of "Free China"! It is a pity that the stupid KMT will never understand that they always see the coffin without crying. Marshall said that the KMT will do good things but it is always too late. His views really hit the nail on the head!"

I am writing this passage at a time when magazines outside the party are in turmoil and the Kuomintang authorities are in dire straits. I admire Li Ao as the most accurate prophet. Is it still bragging?The fucking KMT, what a retribution! The conclusion that Li Ao made waves in "Wen Xing", regardless of whether it is published in "New York Times" or "The Economist", is from a positive perspective, and it is not Li Ao's favor. I should quote a negative point of view to summarize the rest. On February 21, 1966, "Credit Information News" and "China Times" (the predecessor of China Times) published a long speech by Xu Fuguan, a KMT cultural agent. There are words like this:

Based on the preliminary and incomplete statistics of his slanderous activities in the past years, including the slander of individuals named, from Confucius to Hu Shi, Qian Mu, and the 57 people who slandered organizations from the College of Liberal Arts of National Taiwan University. The "Academia Sinica", the Confucius and Mencius Society, the "Legislative Yuan", the "Ministry of the Interior", the Chinese departments of various universities, those who study Chinese culture in Taiwan, all scholars older than Li Ao, "authority" officials, members of the Kuomintang, and even the whole of China nationality.The image of Confucius is called "horror", and the thought of Confucius is compared with Ximenqing, Wei Zhongxian, etc.For those who study Confucian thought, in addition to using poisonous words and obscenities, it is also said that "the ear should be beaten long ago".The Litong who offered sacrifices to Confucius was slandered as a "little ghost".For the mayor of Taipei, who officiated, he refers to the "sacrifice" that was killed as a sacrifice.Hu Shi was called "big ignorant", "bringing the style of literature and history to such a pedantic situation", "can't get rid of the tricks of Qianjia remnants".Refers to Qian Mu as "the brain is resting, and the cerebellum is reflecting"; "almost a person between divination and witchcraft".Refers to Taiwan University as "dividing spoils", "corruption", "covering shame", and "desperately making money". "There are those who rape and then marry with the family 'Ou Basang'; there are those who rape but do not marry."Scolding the older generation of scholars for "eating idle food and black hearts" and "making their children and grandchildren feel ashamed of them"; , "Outdated".Scolding "legislators" is "crazy" and "shameful".Refers to all "government officials" and all members of the KMT as "this kind of people should have been beaten long ago"; "intellectuals without personality".They scolded the Chinese departments of various universities as "abscesses" and "boxers" and "quasi-boxers";The laws of Taiwan are called "ridiculous laws, laws that no civilized country has."Scolding Chinese culture is "what is better than the old man who eats human flesh with a fork".We are called a nation that is not even as good as the "most barbaric nation".And challenged the allies to "tie up foreign devils, this is one of the dreams of the Chinese nation."The information listed is still extremely incomplete; here are just a few random excerpts.It can be seen from this that Li Ao not only used poisonous words and obscenities to everything; he also wanted to see that the actions of "surgery" and "slapping ears" not only slandered all Chinese culture; The contempt and hostility of all countries in the world.The Communist Party has not yet arrived, and the shadow of the struggle and liquidation launched by Li Ao has shrouded the whole of Taiwan.It is difficult to move forward, but the national standpoint betrayed by Li Ao and the provocative behavior to allies have negated the "international cooperation" efforts made by the entire government and the opposition over the years.

After seeing Xu Fuguan's display of my "crimes", I really should "thank" him, "thank you" that he is really my confidant.These big achievements that I am not aware of and those that I am too embarrassed to say, are so simply affirmed by my dear Xu Zhikou, which fully proves that my hard work in just four years is ground-breaking! Now, after "Wen Xing" has been sealed for many years, looking back at its life and death, we can indeed see a lot of vicissitudes.Those comrades who pursued their ideals on "Wen Xing" (in fact, they are the only people who follow Li Ao's lead), some have died, some have passed away, some have betrayed, some have destroyed history, sold their friends for glory, and counted Holding banknotes, leaving the battlefield, I don't know how to change from a cultural person back to a philistine. ...But, no matter what happens, I, Li Ao, will never be discouraged. I don't care about the comings and goings of those comrades-in-arms, and I don't care about personal ups and downs. What I care about is the pursuit of ideals. Under the big goal of pursuing ideals, I am not afraid of isolation Go ahead.

In the process of working together and sharing difficulties in "Wen Xing", Xiao Mengneng and Zhu Wanjian obeyed my advice without any complaints, showing Xiao Tongzi's demeanor, which I miss very much.Now I still have the thank you letter that Xiao Mengneng wrote to me, saying: "I am so grateful to you!" (July 6, 1962) said: "You made me famous and complain, thank you very much." (19612, 12) May 17th) Although these gratitude, after many years, are all forgotten by the "honest gentleman"! The "stars sinking into the sea" in "Wen Xing" is not equal to Li Ao's "stars sinking into the sea", because the KMT's settlement of accounts before and after autumn has never stopped, so the sinking of Li Ao's literary star is still in progress.The first is to throw the forbidden net on my book.From my earliest publication in "Wen Xing" to the last self-published "Fujian Change Research and Wen Xing Litigation" and other books, all were banned.At that time, I was thirty-one years old, seeing the thorns in the road ahead, and it seemed that there was no way to make a living by writing, so I announced the publication of "Li Ao's Farewell to the Literary World Ten Books", and got the money for capital, and changed my career to sell beef noodles. On September 3, I In a letter to Yu Guangzhong, one paragraph said:

I know you've seen my September 1st ad. "Going to the sea" to sell beef noodles may be shocking to the "high-level intellectuals", but to me, who looks at the rise and fall of ancient and modern times, it is simply ordinary and ordinary.Since ancient times, literati and intellectuals who are not tolerated by the ugly status quo have embraced customs, attacked, sold cattle, and slaughtered dogs.There are as many people as Yang Guifei's body hair selling pulp, leading carts, even grinding lenses, and setting up book stalls.How strange that Li Ao is also in the concubine's trousers today!How strange!I don't wear briefs, who wears briefs?

I said again: I bought a small folding album on rice paper at a second-hand book stall, which can be used for autographing.I hope you can write a page or two at the front of this booklet, with the title nothing more than "Intellectuals Sponsor Li Ao to Sell Beef Noodles", and then let me find a few that I admire or at least don't hate Many people signed it one after another, and finally hung it on the beef noodle pot to show "attraction".This "Qi" is only responsible for "sponsorship", not whether the beef noodles are delicious or poisonous. Everyone can sign with peace of mind, and don't have to go home and hug their wives so scared that they can't sleep! At that time, I still had my prestige in the literary world, and I still bought it in the corner of my snobbish eyes. He wrote a sponsorship letter, the full text is as follows: I read the newspaper recently and learned that Mr. Li Ao intends to bid farewell to the literary world and switch to selling beef noodles.Sure enough, it is a good story in the literary world.Today's Sima Xiangru doesn't go to Chinatown to wash dishes, but wants to stay in Taiwan to set up a beef stall and swim against the current, which is very gratifying.However, it is still a pity that Mr. Li Ao bid farewell to the literary world in order to sell beef.Mr. Li is full of talent, and his pen is often emotional and aggressive, but he wants to stop when his talent is not exhausted.We like it.He sells beef. ,but.Time.Do not sponsor him to sell beef noodles.The sponsorship is because he has devoted himself to thinking after he has retired from the pen, and in the future he will be able to use the bull's knife to match the dance of the mulberry forest; the reason for not sponsoring is because we believe that with his talent, even if he uses the bull's knife, he will follow the example of Sima and Wen. I am afraid that the king's power should be a temporary phenomenon.It's for sponsorship. The great business of selling noodle, but because of the environment, I only became a theorist, and the children such as Zhang Junhong and Huang Hua became practitioners, until they failed because of the environment. The printing of "Ten Books Farewell to the Literary World" required an advertisement. Unexpectedly, the situation repeated itself. At that time, "Central Daily" had no choice but to find it to publish. Because it knew its advertising director, Shang Zhong, it went to negotiate. Went to "Central Daily" at ten o'clock in the morning on August 30. Shang Zhong said that he was trying to mediate, and the general manager had agreed to discuss it with Cao Shengfen, the leader of the newspaper.Get back to me at five in the afternoon.I will go back at five o'clock, and I have agreed to publish the fourth edition.Shang Zhong said that Cao Shengfen wanted to delete the words "selling beef noodles" in the end, and he suggested that they all be copied.I borrowed money and went to the "United Daily News Garden" for two days, but I was resisted. Since I have already received the payment on September 1, it is not easy to refuse, so I have to submit it. Miss Toll of the "United Daily News" was also criticized by officials. The same is true for "Credit Information News" and "China Times" predecessor).I had promised Garden for two days, and I went to pay in the afternoon, but I was rejected and wanted to refund me even the September 1st. After negotiation, I agreed to at least September 1st. "Minzu Evening News" because they know people, and saw the receipts of "United" and "Credit", so they did so. "Zili Evening News" found Dai Liang and others, and because "National Evening News" had already published it, it did so.At the "Zili Evening News" office, Bo Yang, who became popular in the newspaper, ran over and shouted: "Li Ao wow, forget about suicide! There is no way for you to survive on this island!" I laughed and didn't answer.Unexpectedly, the troubles were not over yet, and the "Central Daily" changed again. On September 5, I went to Shang Zhong and said: "You said that my advertisement will be published on the fourth page first, and if the first page is free, let me. Look at the funeral advertisement on the first page of the "Central Daily" today. The person who died on September 2nd saw the newspaper today, so there is a seat, otherwise, would the dead still make an appointment?" After negotiations, I was promised to be listed. One edition once, and reprinted twice.But still he didn't believe what he said.This incident caused me to sue Cao Shengfen in the "court". The court belongs to the Kuomintang, so of course I could not sue. After the advertising situation, the printing of books came one after another. On November 9, the situation came.It happened at the bookbinding factory at No. 35, Yajiang Street, Taipei. Chen Pingjing, who shared my troubles, recorded the following: ...At around 5:50, Lou (a native of Shandong, Penglai, Jidong, later discovered to be named Lou Zhenyue), a member of the administrative bureau of the Second Sub-bureau, led four sturdy men (it was later discovered that one of them was named Na, and the other was named Shan. However, those who did not show up, I do not know how many people, the residents surrounded the current situation to be very lively), dressed in plain clothes, went to Aozhi, and asked the superiors to order the two books "The Crow Called Again" and "Monkey King and Me" to be banned.Shizuo has packed about 1,500 copies of "The Monkey King and Me" on a cart and is about to ship them out. Both Ao and Lou were calm, and Ao Zhi talked and laughed happily, showing quite a lot of skill.However, Lin, the owner of the factory, was in a hurry and had no experience, so his face turned ashen and he murmured bitterly. At 6:30, Zheng Wenjie, the chief of the bureau (from Fujian, whose name was later identified as Zheng Wenjie), arrived. He was short and elegant in a suit.Detailed information on the printing of books, and the situation of being ordered to ban them (only the superiors, not the content).The city police station also sent Huang (a native of Fujian, who knows Bo Yang, who is in charge of the banning of books and periodicals) to come. The red police car came three times and took away the already loaded "Monkey King and Me" and the bound, unbound, folded and unfolded inner and outer covers. Wait, and took away all the unbound, inside and outside covers and posters of "The Crow Calls Again".Because the police car was too slow, the branch chief ordered to hire a trolley.When Zhang and Zuo both left, Ao and Pingjing dealt with them. Ao asked Pingjing to go out once... At eight o'clock, Zheng ordered three police officers to continue to search the factory, and asked Ao Zhi to come to the police station to talk. Ao said, "My friend Mr. Chen still has classes, can he go back first?" Zheng refused, and they went to the second branch. At nine o'clock, I ate four dishes and two soups.The Deputy Chief of the Municipal Police Department came and only showed up.Director Zheng introduced "This is Mr. Li" and greeted Aozhi while eating. Rotate from Lou Xun Aozhi to 12:10.Zheng had a closed-door talk with the deputy chief of the municipal police department in the branch chief's office.At 11:00, the owner of the forestry factory came with three police officers, holding the remaining books and papers, and had a secret talk in the office of the sub-bureau chief.Mrs. Lin came with her baby. Ao Zhi said that if your husband does not come out, I will never leave. Please rest assured (Lin left the branch office at 12 o'clock). At 12:20, I left the No. 2 Sub-bureau and arrived home, exhausted! On the second day, the binding factory was heavily guarded on all sides, and there were two plainclothes people watching on the opposite side, who were supposed to be political workers from the security headquarters.Proclaiming that we are not allowed to take anything away, the factory owner begged us to leave. We realized that the books banned were not limited to the two books yesterday.In the evening, the people behind the scenes were exposed, Lieutenant Colonel Li and two others from the Political Department of the Police Headquarters came forward and invited me to have a talk.Lieutenant Colonel Li is Li Guojin. This person shakes hands like a paralyzed patient, his hands are as soft as cotton, and he doesn't use any strength.He told me that in "Li Ao's Ten Books of Farewell to the Literary World", "The Crow Crows Again", "Gender Issues and Others", "Letters Written by Li Ao", "There Are Love Letters", and "Monkey King and Me". Six books including "Don't Call Me" were all banned; "Mom Can't Leave You", "Re-White Under the Tradition", "College Late Diary Collection A", "College Late Diary Collection B" had the butterfly pages and back covers painted out After that, it can be issued.I asked him how to paint it out?He said it would be enough to cover it with a large rubber stamp dipped in black paint.Later, when I covered it in the same way, he changed his mind and disagreed, because the cover was not ideal and the handwriting still showed through, and readers could still see the characters on it, and the so-called characters on it were just the title of the book "Nineteen Kinds of Li Ao's Writings". That's all!In the end, he agreed on the condition that the butterfly page and back cover be torn off before being allowed to go.At that time, I was unable to make an appointment because readers came to make an appointment. It would be good if I could give readers four out of ten books, so I had to agree.This time I bid farewell to the ten books in the literary world, and the publication was so embarrassing that it is really difficult for me to explain to the readers.It wasn’t until I came back thirteen years later that I told the readers who had “returned” to me that I would like to present all my self-published books as compensation in this life, but the readers were very considerate of my situation, and they spent two hundred yuan To make an appointment, I am absolutely ashamed to accept my own books endlessly, so after sending them away for a while, no one cares about them. I "read thousands of volumes", and I have never seen the "virtuous government" of the Kuomintang in ancient and modern China and abroad, which is always grabbing books in the binding factory.There are generally two ways for authorities to interfere with freedom of opinion: one is the preventive system, which includes (1) inspection system and (2) permission system. (3) Deposit system, (4) Reporting system.The other is the punishment system.According to the Kuomintang's own laws and regulations, the publication of newspapers and magazines adopts the permission system in the preventive system and also adopts the punishment system; for books or other publications, the punishment system is adopted.However, according to the law, the prosecution and punishment should be after the book is published and submitted for review. How can it be illegal to go to the binding factory to snatch origami and blanks that have not been completed, not listed, and not submitted for review?It can be seen from this that the Kuomintang can neither implement the system of generous follow-up and punishment in a fake democracy, nor can it implement the straightforward pre-trial system in a real dictatorship. However, this kind of system is the most venomous and most destructive type of system: because if the punishment system is implemented after the incident, there will be at least two weeks of legal chances and survival chances for people to sell books after they are submitted for trial and before they are banned; With the pre-trial system of asceticism, the ordinary people can at least follow the imperial decree of the civil police and know what can be printed and what can't be printed. At least there is no need to print black characters on white paper and then snatch them away. fee, proofreading fee, proofing fee, plate making fee, printing fee, paper fee, management fee? ...but this is where the Kuomintang's viciousness and pranks come into play!It is to make you uncooked and cooked rice, and then cause you losses, making you in a dilemma; not only can you not make money from sales, but you will lose money from printing factories and paper companies!On the contrary, we have to compensate the readers for making an appointment!How many people with lofty ideals fighting for freedom of speech can bear such losses every time they are caused again and again?The KMT really deserves to be ruled by "free speech" "democratic Taiwan"!They never give up free speech, but they can make you give up free speech!They have never practiced a dictatorial pre-trial system, but you can experience that what they practice is a "pre-preemption system". How troublesome is the pre-trial process!How undemocratic!There is no trial at all, just like this "without anyone noticing", they are stabbing people in the back, and how many "books are banned like grass and they are not heard"!How wonderful! Hu Qiuyuan and the others were also not idle when the authorities settled accounts with me.They used a letter they had obtained to get at me. On November 7, 1966, a meeting to denounce Li Ao was held at the Taipei Women's Home, "invited 30 people from the three parties of the National Youth League and some friends from the cultural circle" (including Chen Qitian, Hu Qiuyuan, etc., the most incredible Yes, I had already left "Wen Xing" at that time, and the actual boss of "Wen Xing" Xiao Mengneng even sent Hu Rusen to participate!) The meeting defeated Li Ao.Xu Gaoruan and others mimeographed and published my letter to Hu Shi when I lived in Xindianshan on the spot, and sued me to the police headquarters.On the ninth day after the denunciation of Li Ao, Hu Qiuyuan published "Mr. Xu Gaoruan announced that Mr. Hu Shi received A letter from the enemy", so this letter of mine was released to the world from the hands of the enemy.This letter was later reprinted by many Hong Kong and Taiwan books and periodicals. Of course, it was the best-selling and most read article since the establishment of "Zhonghua" magazine.I am really grateful to these "cultural people" who sent me to the police headquarters, because only if they "supported" me in this way, could this letter be made public and not be banned.If I had announced it myself, I would have been blocked by the authorities.So they really "do the wrong thing and do it"!The conclusion is that I don't care at all when Xu Gaoruan and others publish my letter, because I wrote the letter, so of course I am a man of courage.In short, I don't blame them for publishing my letter, I just feel like spitting water about their motivation and purpose for publishing it. After Xu Gaoruan did this, as far as I know, many of his friends did not forgive him.Some thought that he was "selling friends for glory"; some thought, "Could it be that Hu Shi told you to tell me this letter?" Molecules'!" Some think that "intellectuals are so despicable to kill people with a knife!"...the list goes on and on.But myself, I have no feeling of resentment against Hong Kong, because I deeply understand: Xu Gaoruan and others are the rebellious Communist Party, and the rebellious Communist Party is the most terrible human being in the world, isn't it?The traitorous Communist Party will never be able to adjust itself, so why should we be surprised when we meet such a person?What's ridiculous is that Hu Shi, being a frank man, mistakenly believed in a red traitor like Xu Gaoruan, and even showed Li Ao's letter to such a person. As a result, he almost caused Li Ao a lot of trouble after his death.The romance in the world is not without humor!After I was reported to the police headquarters, Wei Yizhi, the head of the security department, presided over the interviews with me many times, leaving early and returning late each time, and did not stay overnight.Yan Qiao was arrested again and locked up for 30 days to investigate his relationship with me.The group leader Wei Yizhi was shrewd and capable. When talking to me, he could even recite the whole paragraph of my letter.In the end, after he researched and found out that this was Xu Gaoruan and other private people's tricks to kill me with a borrowed knife, he judged that if the government came forward to punish me, it would be detrimental to the government, so nothing happened.The despicable conspiracy of Xu Gaoruan and others did not sell.But Yan Qiao himself had the luck of the misfortune, that is, this time he really quit drinking for thirty days! ——It can be seen that alcohol can be quit. Who said that going to jail is not good? In the whole process of announcing Li Ao's letter to Hu Shi, the most interesting item is the various bizarre interpretations of the letter by the Kuomintang.Hu Qiuyuan's "China" magazine published Xu Gaoruan's speech at the denunciation meeting and reported that Xu Gaoruan said: "This letter was given to him by Mr. Hu in the middle of 1961. When Mr. Hu handed it to him, Although his attitude was not serious, he was not relaxed either. Mr. Hu was admitted to the hospital about four or five days later, and passed away shortly after he was discharged. He is now open to the public for this letter, and he bears all responsibilities.” Xu Gaoruan’s conclusion is straightforward. He refers to Li Ao as a "rebel who surrendered to the enemy". "Zhonghua" magazine published Hu Qiuyuan's post-reading impressions even more simply, pointing out that Li Ao is a "bandit spy", and he is still a "bandit spy" who used the "united front" against Hu Shi!I wonder why they didn't whip Hu Shi's corpse, saying that Hu Shi was also a "bandit spy"?Because Hu Shi is also suspected of "knowing bandits but not reporting them"!Not only did he not report it, but judging from the spooky behavior he asked Yao Congwu to forward to Li Ao, he not only "knows the bandit but does not report it", but also connects the teachers and students of the "bandit spy"! In 1967, when I was thirty-two years old, and the settlement of accounts still continued after autumn, Zheng Yankou, the head of the "Ministry of Justice and Administration" of the Kuomintang, personally ordered the Chief Prosecutor of the "High Court" to hand me over for investigation. On April 8, I was charged with "obstructing public affairs". public prosecution.Since then, the official has formally cooperated with the private party to form a killing by means of litigation. On April 14th of this year, I assisted Yin Haiguang to see a doctor in a very difficult situation and saved Yin Haiguang's life.The whole story is like this. In November 1961, after I published "The Old Man and the Stick", Yin Haiguang ran into me at the College of Liberal Arts of National Taiwan University—we hadn't seen each other for more than two years at this time. Who is Jiang Kanghu mentioned in "The Stick"?" I told him.It happened that Yao walked past my teacher.Yin Haiguang stopped him, pointed at me and said, "This generation is also a genius!" Teacher Yao Congwu immediately replied, "Both of you are geniuses!" After a small chat that day, Yin Haiguang was very happy and invited me to his house Talk, I handed him a copy of my letter to Hu Shi, and made an appointment to see him the next day.So, nearly five years later, I came to the Yin family again.Yin Haiguang probably really noticed my difficulty this time, he obviously recognized my status as a dragon.He said that my letter to Hu Shi deeply moved him. The Yan Qiao mentioned in the letter was a representative of the great intellectuals in China. There are tens of thousands of Yan Qiao in China, all of whom died in the struggle between the Kuomintang and the Communist Party. ... At this point, he burst into tears, which greatly moved me.This time the conversation was very speculative, he wanted to visit me at my Bitan Shanju, and I agreed.Soon he came to Bitan and taught me how to make coffee. I was too poor to afford a coffee pot, so I could only provide an aluminum pot for boiling water as a tool. He complained that the pot was oily and the coffee was not good. I was surprised He is so particular about his coffee.We talked all afternoon, and then went to eat fish at the small shop by the suspension bridge.Yin Haiguang's strange problem is: when he just meets someone, he often doesn't speak, and his attitude is not friendly. He must "warm up" (warm up) before he can talk freely. At this time, he also said There is a smile, no different from ordinary people.But the next time we meet, he will start over from that dead state again.Some people don't understand this strange problem, and they are often pissed off at the beginning.This time when Yin Haiguang came to my house, he was quite simple with strange problems, probably because he was afraid that I would use his own tricks to treat his own body, so he quickly chatted without restraint. At that time, "Free China" had been out of publication for more than a year. I mentioned two points to Yin Haiguang: First, Lei Zhen started a new party. Based on Lei Zhen's understanding of the Kuomintang, the Kuomintang would arrest people.As soon as people are arrested, "Free China" is over. Once "Free China" is finished, it means that the freedom of speech that everyone has won over the past few years will be taken back by the Kuomintang. I don't know when it will be restored to the standard of "Free China".Therefore, the New Party Movement is an impediment to the dissemination of ideas, just like the May 4th Movement implicated the New Culture Movement (my opinion confirms that the "80s" was reprinted in "Free China" 22 years after the publication of "Free China") Free China Anthology will be banned, which shows the great regression of freedom of speech).Second, what "Free China" is talking about is intellectuals, the upper class, and the vertical line of Taiwan. Outside the intellectuals, outside the upper class, and outside the vertical line, it is about rural Taiwan and the suffering common people. Life, can't be talked about enough.Speaking of this, let me give an example of the military paradise I personally investigated: a prostitute is forced to pick up customers fifty times a day, and only gets a small amount of money. What kind of "paradise on earth" is this?They live such a miserable life, it doesn't matter what doctrine or who rules them.If they can improve their lives, even if they become subjugated slaves, I think they will be willing.I saw with my own eyes the sight of the bustards setting off firecrackers to celebrate after they received customers fifty times. Do senior intellectuals like Yin Haiguang know their pain?After hearing my words, Yin Haiguang was moved. He admitted that they didn't know much about rural Taiwan and the lives of the suffering people.At that time, one of my research topics was "Chinese Sexual History". I showed Yin Haiguang some erotic paintings, and he said he had never seen such a thing. Why would these beautiful women take these pictures?He doesn't understand.I said: "Maybe to save her mother, maybe to save her daughter, maybe to save her husband. But these photos are definitely not for patriotism. The 'country' is sorry for these suffering people. These people would rather be subjugated slaves." of—if only they can escape their miserable fate!" After the trip to Bitan, Yin Haiguang established a new friendship with me. At this time, he had been deprived of the freedom of giving lectures at National Taiwan University, and I had long since lost this freedom. In 1964, National Taiwan University student Chen Hongzheng invited me to give a lecture at the Law School. When I went, the school sent campus police to lock the door of the lecture venue. In 1965, the Law School invited Li Shengting to give a speech on "Democracy and Freedom". After the speech, the audience applauded and asked Yin Haiguang and Li Ao to interject a few words. We responded and were very popular. This was our first and last public appearance.Later, Hu Qiuyuan wrote to Qian Siliang to ask 25 questions, asking Yin Haiguang to answer them. If he didn't answer, he would be regarded as "ignorant of learning and skills, and misleading students", and he should stop teaching.Qian Siliang was frightened and persecuted Yin Haiguang in this direction.During this period, thanks to my support, he got through many difficulties. I persuaded Xiao Mengneng to support the writing of "Prospects of Chinese Culture" at a high price. Help, not help him research, help him print books, help him live, help him overcome many difficulties after "Free China" was banned, and Taiwan University was suspended. ... I think my greatest help was to send him to the hospital, which prolongs his life for two years.After his death, Yin Da wrote to Lin Yueheng and Luo Yehong, privately admitting that "Li Ao saved Teacher Yin's life", which refers to this. The "Yin family traitor" Wang Xiaobo wrote "Mourning My Teacher, Mr. Yin Haiguang" before he rebelled, saying: "Later, Mr. Yin was transferred from Hongen Hospital to National Taiwan University Hospital for surgery. National Taiwan University Hospital has public insurance. Pay the fee. Li Ao paid the fee of Hong En Hospital, because at that time only Li Ao was rich among Mr. Yin’s students.” The last sentence of this passage is wrong. At that time, it was by no means “only Li Ao was rich” among Yin Haiguang’s students. The richest is Chen Guying.Chen Guying inherited the property left by his father and the landed real estate, but did not distribute it to his sister Chen Taotao, who ate alone. He was the richest person, but he didn't give anything away.Zhang Hao and Lin Yusheng have a good family background and have been in the United States for many years. They are also rich, at least richer than me. It’s just that they only talk beautiful words and don’t do beautiful things. I despise these hypocrites and false rich disciples the most of! When Yi helped Yin Haiguang, I was completely blocked by the government at that time, and it was already difficult to earn a living by writing and publishing.My livelihood is actually dealing in used electrical appliances.At that time, the U.S. military advisory group was in Taipei. Good-quality refrigerators and air conditioners and other electrical appliances on the market could not be produced in Taiwan. They all relied on second-hand products used by the advisory group.I cooperated with Li Shijun, under the pseudonym "OK Li", and published English newspapers all day long to collect old electrical appliances and then resell them.When reselling, I personally participated in the handling, no different from a coolie.Once I sold a refrigerator to Li Hanxiang. When I was carrying it, my wife, Zhang Cuiying, saw it. She said, "Why did the great writer become a coolie?" I said, "The great writer has been sent down and is undergoing labor reform." !” In order to stick to the principles and not cooperate with the Kuomintang, the hard work and painstaking efforts I have made in earning a living are completely unknown to ordinary people, and I don’t need to let them know.From the outside, I am rich, because I know that in the real world, it is easier to be fooled by "being rich" than "pretending to be poor". "Pretending to be poor" is useless.Everyone says I am rich, but who knows that I work as a coolie? Not only did I have no money, I was in financial distress at the time, even very serious.When Yin Haiguang was "detained on the spot" and "examined immediately" by Hong'en Hospital, the hospital immediately asked for a hospital deposit of 3,000 yuan, but I couldn't afford it.After winking between the accountant and I, she agreed that I should first write a bad check as payment, and then exchange it after I went out to find 3,000 yuan.I took care of Yin Haiguang, asked Meng Juezi and Chen Pingjing to accompany him, and went straight to Buffalo Publishing House to find Peng Chenghuang. I took out another check for 3,000 yuan plus interest and discounted it to Peng Chenghuang.Peng Chenghuang flipped my check over and studied it. I asked, "What's wrong? It's fake? What are you researching?" He said, "What are you doing discounting for?"问，说也可以，老殷住院了，我要筹保证金，所以就找到你们小气的客家人头上来了。别啰唆了，快借钱吧！”可是彭诚晃却不肯借，我认为他太不够意思了，我说：“你们水牛创业，我帮了多少忙！《罗素选集》明明是我编的，你们却挂上刘福增的名字！我不愿和你们计较，可是这一次，为了老殷，我不会原谅你们了！”从此以后，我再也不肯见彭诚晃这个人了。直到十多年后，我由萧孟能太太朱婉坚那边取得公证授权，把当年萧孟能卖给彭诚晃的版权全部作废，才算彻底作弄了这个客家人、才算出了这口恶气。 除了给水牛匿名编《罗素选集》这类事，我还为其他出版社做了很多，甚至一些畅销书，像《胡适语粹》等都是我编的。一来是做些有益读者的事，二来是以不正常方法赚点正常收入。编这些书，都不能由我挂名，那时候，拜官方之赐，“李敖”两个字已像黑死病了。 另一件匿名的活动是我应屠申虹之邀，与汤炎光办《文风》杂志。汤炎光是老“国大”代表，想出锋头，要办杂志，当时以我之名，根本申请不下来杂志执照，但汤炎光可以。于是达成协议，汤炎光只有挂名发行人的权利，其他编务、内容一概不得过问。于是我和屠申虹就包办了第一期，很寒酸，只有一张纸，分出四版，但一张纸照样闯祸。办出来后，一方面“中央研究院”登大幅广告斥责、抗议，一方面汤炎光被调查局局长沈之岳请去吃饭，劝他千万不可和李某人合作，否则后患无穷，汤炎光一听吓坏了，立刻打退堂鼓，不办了，我和屠申虹不便相强，相强也没用。不过这杂志夭折，却给我一个方便，我阴错阳差变成了电话阶级。因为当时电话很贵，用杂志社申请可半价优待，杂志垮了，电话长留，从此我家有了电话。由此一例，可以想像萧孟能待我之厚，跟他《文星》共事这么多年，编辑部也在我家，可是他却吝于在编辑部装个电话！电话以外，冰箱也如此。我离开文献会，住到安东街时候，他为我买了一个冰箱，却不是电冷的，而是每天由人送冰块来放进去的冰箱！我有电气冰箱，是1964年5月1日迁入水源路十九号之八“水源大楼”三号以后的事。在“水源大楼”给我最深的印象是我与“H”同居——没有冷气、但有电气冰箱享受下的同居。“H”是苏州人，香港英文书院毕业，当时在NACC（美国海军情报中心）做秘书，美丽无比，是我女朋友中最漂亮的，她是“北洋军阀”唐天喜的女儿唐静琴介绍我认识的，唐静琴是她干妈。那时她的未婚夫去美，她被官方限制，暂时不能出境，所以跟我在一起，我过三十岁生日时，她正在我身边，那时正是我的盛年、《文星》的盛世。后来我搬到信义路四段二一七巷十六弄十九号之三国泰信义公寓四楼，她也过来。不久去外国了。去海外前陆建业、崔小萍拉她拍琼瑶的电影，做女主角，在台湾因纠纷未能放映，后来林青霞做女主角的是第二次拍的。 我虽被官方秋前秋后算账，但我气派不衰，最有趣的一件鲜事，是我阴错阳差，变成了汽车阶级。原来我被《文星》请出去，为自谋生计方便，打算买辆机车，不料买机车分期付款要两个房保，买汽车开支票只要一个房保，因为萧孟能不肯为我做保，我只有信义公寓妈妈名下一个房保，其他别无房保可寻，故买了三百六十CC的凯莉小汽车。我就是这样阴错阳差之下，成为汽车阶级的。那时候台北市面汽车尚少，我这辆身价连计程车都不如的小车，开起来却拉风得很，到处可停，与凯迪拉克无异也。印象最深的两次，一次是我跟女朋友“小Y”到淡水红毛城，另一次是去阳明山一家日式旅馆洗温泉，都开的这辆汽车。'小丫'也是苏州人，政治大学中文系毕业，是女作家，所以她和我之间的情书颇多。“小丫'美丽、细腻而多情致，是最可爱的女人，洗温泉那次，她软语哀求、欲仙欲死，曲尽江南美女的婉转，令人终生难忘。 后来我的汽车换了，换成了和裕隆计程车一样的车，不过是全白的，仍旧极为拉风。那时刘家昌自费拍电影，想找一个假的制片人为他撑腰，制片人要阔，我因为是汽车阶级，被他看中，遂以购买我收藏的《古今图书集成》为交换条件，要我开着车替“演”制片人，我同意了。自此跟演艺界扯了好长一阵子。他们好赌，我的赌技亦属一流，因此常常打梭哈。刘家昌此人嗜赌而艺不精，一意赢人而自己屡输。有一天有次牌局，我告诉他：“今晚有一个呆子参加。”他闻之大喜，入夜闻声而至。一赌之下，发现高手如云，他输得丢盔曳甲。这时他偷偷问我：“敖之，你不是说有个呆子吗？”我说：……“是啊！呆子不是别人，就是你小子呀！”——古时阿波罗发神谕会有一大国战败灭亡，但没说出是哪一大国，求神谕者欣喜而去，不知原来亡者乃自己之国也。又有一次刘家昌全部输光，一点赌本都没有了。他低声下气向刘维斌借赌本，刘维斌说：“除非你叫我爸爸，我不借。”刘家昌说：“大丈夫，怎么可以叫人爸爸？不过，叫人'把拔'可以。”刘维斌问：“什么是'把拔'？”刘家昌说：“'把拔'什么意思都没有，只是发音像爸爸。这样叫了，你以为我叫了你爸爸，我只认为叫了你'把拔'，所以叫了等于没叫，可是赌本却借到了。”后来，刘家昌怀疑李翰祥给他戴了绿帽子，气冲冲跑到片场，当众打了李翰祥。事件发生后，我和影剧圈内深知李翰祥的导演们、朋友们，都坚信戴绿帽子是绝不可能的事，这件事，全是刘家昌疑神疑鬼的闹剧。因此我告诉刘家昌以李翰样不可能偷你老婆的种种证据，我说了半天，刘家昌若有所悟，但是最后大声说：“但是，但是，敖之，我不是王八，这怎么成？我已经招待记者，当众宣布我是王八了！”我听了，大笑，我说：“难道非做三八不可吗？难道非做工八不乐吗？难道要做错了王八，还要为了面子错到底吗？难道非说你老婆偷人，你才变得理直气壮吗？家昌啊！何必自寻烦恼啊！”有一次大家在刘维斌家赌钱，赌到天亮时，来了电话，刘家昌说：“一定是我老婆来查勤了，千万别承认！”刘维斌拿起电话，果然是江青打来的，刘维斌立刻把赌台上的生龙活虎气概，收敛得一干二净，反倒装出被电话吵醒的模样，语调迟钝，慢慢而断续地说：“……不在啊……没有啊……我昨晚拍片，今早四点才上床啊……”我们大家屏息静坐，不敢出声。事后哄笑不已，深叹刘维斌演技精绝。二十年后江青来台，到我家拜访我，我甚感惭愧，我觉得她与刘家昌婚姻的失败，我们这些当年的酒肉朋友不无责任。虽然我多年后，已变成律己极严的连清茶咖啡都戒掉了的清教徒，但是自海少作之情，犹未能免也。 当年我也去过几次舞厅。胡秋原说舞女“形而上者不能聊，形而下者不能搞”，妙句也！有一次与居浩然上舞厅，忽闻广播说：“居浩然先生电话。”居浩然正拥形而上而下之，置若罔闻。我提醒他有电话，居浩然正色说：“这里没有居浩然！我姓张——在风月场所，我都姓张。”我恍然大悟，难怪居太太查勤，永远找不到我们的居校长！（淡江大学前身是淡江英专，居浩然做校长，我重考大学前，也考取过，所以辈分上他是我的“校长”。）还有一次余传韬从海外归来，透过徐钟珮，与我结识，两人一见如故，聊得开心。一起去王又曾开的仙乐斯舞厅，王又曾在旁作陪，点来舞女，左拥右抱之余，余传韬问我：“我在台湾做什么最好？”我说：“你组织新党最好，因为你跟他们有生殖器关系（余传韬的父亲是青年党大员余家菊、丈人是国民党大员陈诚）。你组织新党，他们不会抓你。你组织新党，顶多被打屁股而已，怕什么？”可是余傅韬就是不敢。后来，他由“教育部”次长而“中央”大学校长，一直善保其臀，不敢造次，校长不负此臀，此臀负校长，想起“腹负将军”的典故，不禁失笑。（《通鉴长编》记：“党太尉进食饱，扪腹叹曰：'我不负汝。'左右曰：'将军不负此腹，此腹负将军。'”）当年我还去过几次酒家。一次是和徐讦，一次和叶明勋、毛树清，出来后还一起跳舞。后来我坐牢，最后一年被“洗脑”，在土城仁爱教育实验所被所谓学者专家们“上课”，一天毛树清来了，佯装不认识，酒肉朋友，当如是也！