Chapter 51 6. I buy a toothbrush①

①The original title was "How Do I Buy a Toothbrush", which has been abridged. Maybe I should start by describing why I had problems buying toothbrushes.When I was young, I was happy with or without a toothbrush.I can't remember whether I used a toothbrush when I was a child.This kind of problem is not a problem in the world of young children, and it is not a problem in the aristocratic class who often have breakfast in bed in Western Europe; Frequent and common.Gossip aside, whether or not I used dental drama as a kid, I always grew up healthy.At that time, I had never seen a "Prophy-lactic" hygienic and civilized toothbrush with uneven bristles in the shape of canine teeth and a tuft of long bristles at the end, so I was never fooled, and I never felt the slightest anxiety in my heart.It is only now that I realize that modern advertisements deceive our generation of scholars. It really makes people think about it and wants to make a kind of social revolution.

...In fact, my dentist friend has secretly told me that according to his professional experience, many rich wives who must buy Prophylactic toothbrushes do not know how to use this toothbrush at all.These rich ladies, just like the western bankers mocked by Stephen Leacock, go out to escape the summer heat, and when they think of fishing, they must buy another pair of high leather boots for wading, make another coat that is not afraid of the wind and rain, and buy a Go fishing with a scientific fishing rod worth more than ten yuan, with a spinning wheel hanging on it.But Rieger asks, will the bankers be hooked?For a real fisherman, you only need to give him a bamboo pole and a hook, and he will always catch fish for you to see.The same is true of toothbrushes.

But these common principles, I just worked out after three years of painstaking research on the most suitable, most scientific, most hygienic and most civilized toothbrush.As I have said above, I was very happy and at ease when I was young.I don't want to use a toothbrush, and I don't care whether the curved angle on the top of the toothbrush matches the arc of my teeth or not.It was not until I met a school doctor when I was in a certain school that I lost my innocent happiness. (The school doctor had committed suicide not long ago) He actually told me that there are such diseases in the world as gingival abscess, ulceration of secret acupoints, and Dr. Vincent's disease (Vincents disease).Like all middle classes, I grew panicked while increasing my knowledge.He said that most of the problems in the world come from unclean teeth.Moreover, the poison produced by the secret acupoint, if not detected and cured in time, can be transmitted to the brain, making people mad - I can almost enter the madhouse.From then on, I no longer know a safe and happy life, and since then I have started to study the most suitable, scientific, civilized and hygienic toothbrush.It has been three years, and today, I have nothing and come back empty-handed.

People who don't read always think that a toothbrush is just a brush, but to be easy to use and easy to see, the bristles should be neat, the same as hair brushes, clothes brushes, and boot brushes. Just like a chair, it should always have four feet flush. .But I have scientific curiosity by nature, and I pay attention to any novelty.Because I was looking for some novel toothbrush, I saw that the bristles of the prevention plate were uneven, dog-toothed, and there was a tuft of raised bristles at the end, which attracted my attention, just like I saw a stool with three legs short and one long. , will also pay special attention.When I saw the instruction manual, I said that the bristles of the bristles were inwardly curved, matching the outwardly curved shape of my teeth. I thought it made sense, so I immediately decided, "This is the most reasonable and scientific toothbrush I have."At that time, I chose a toothbrush with a handle that was bent inward at thirty degrees.Later, I also bought a toothbrush with the handle bent 30 degrees outward, but I didn't encounter any accidents.So I wondered, maybe a straight brush handle that does not bend outwards or inwards is the most reasonable toothbrush?

But in fact, in the past two years, I have been a believer in the prevention card, and I have not changed my opinion easily, although I have realized that only the tuft of hairs at the end is useful, because the hairs on the other side will not contact with teeth.It just so happened that one day my uncle died and left 300 yuan for me to waste.I thought about the toothbrush.I ran into a pharmacy, took out a five-yuan bill from my pocket, threw it on the counter, and asked the clerk to give me the most expensive toothbrush in the market.The clerk brought Dr. Wests' toothbrush (Dr. Wests) at a price of one yuan and three.If I don't look at Youke, I panic when I look at it.Have I been duped by advertisements for two years?Because I found that the bristles of the most civilized and scientific toothbrush are convex outwards instead of concave inwards, which is the opposite of the old ones I believed in; There is not a tuft of protruding hairs, but short hairs at both ends and long hairs in the middle; the manual also told me that after years of experiments, Dr. Wester has come to a conclusion that only a toothbrush that is bent outward can be in contact with the inside of the tooth rim. arc coincides.This is a bit like hearing that Newton and Ernstein disagreed, and one could not help but suspect that one of them was wrong.I brought back the conclusion of Dr. Wester's experiment, and once I brushed it, I found that not only the inner edge of the gums can be brushed, but also the outer edge of the gums can be brushed.It dawned on me.As soon as I ran out, I went to the nearest grocery store and bought a toothbrush with a flat straight handle made in Guangdong for twenty-five coppers.When I came back and used it, I felt a kind of joy that I had never had in three years when I brushed my teeth with a toothbrush with neat bristles.This is the toothbrush I used when I was growing up healthy and happy.

If the history of my buying a civilized toothbrush looks like a tragedy, then my experience of seeking civilized toothpaste is really like a novel of 124 chapters.The advertisements of various brands of toothpaste, tooth powder, and tooth water attacking each other are really dazzling.To put it simply, I have used all kinds of toothpaste, tooth powder, and tooth water.My experience includes Dr. LyonsPowder, So-zodont, SquibbsDentalMagnesia, Pepsodent, Chlorodont, Kolynos, colgate, Listerine, Euthymol, I-pana brands (everyone says "only my family" is not harmful to teeth).I think it doesn't matter which one I use, it won't damage my natural white and flawless teeth.I have seen the certificate of the chemical laboratory test, saying that a certain toothpaste can kill millions of microbes in a few seconds (then a doctor told me that this disinfectant water is not as effective as salt water); an advertisement warned me "be careful Pink toothbrush", it is said that using the wrong toothpaste is a harbinger of gum abscess (in fact, when brushing hard, the gums bleed slightly, which is a natural thing); some advertisements warned me that the toothpaste on the market is completely useless.I once saw an advertisement saying that tooth powder should not be used because it would hurt teeth, so I panicked and ignored it. Later, I saw Dr. The advertisement of Lyons said that if the toothpaste is not clean, "you should follow the example of the dentist when you brush your teeth-use toothpaste", which caused panic again and used it again.I was once tempted by Lambert Pharmaceuticals by offering to buy any of the following with the money saved in a year on Listerine toothpaste: "Seven pounds of steak; eight pounds of ham; eight pounds of lamb chops." ; two chickens; twelve coffee rolls; ten bottles of jam; twenty packets of flour; thirty cans of macaroni"... However, after a year of use, my wife does not necessarily give me these gifts.

Fortunately, I saw a flaw before long.Once, Colgate, probably because of conscience, was very tired of these deceptive advertisements, and came out with a special advertisement, asking people: "Did you get panic because of seeing the advertisement?" and said honestly: "The only function of toothpaste is to wash It's just cleaning your teeth." I think that's what God meant.This is the first awakening.The second awakening was when I saw the advertisement of Pepsodent, and I found out with more conscience, and I was more obviously tired of those deceptive advertisements, and openly said: "It is not toothpaste that makes your teeth healthy-it is spinach!" I was really angry. My lungs exploded, and I kept running to ask a dental friend, "What is the use of toothpaste?" He just laughed and didn't say anything.I knew he was saying in his heart "You poor middle class!" I demanded a clear answer.

"What!" I yelled. "At least toothpaste always cleans your teeth, doesn't it?" "Dude!" he said, patting me on the shoulder sympathetically. "You have to understand that it takes water and a toothbrush to clean your teeth! Toothpaste just makes you feel more fragrant and delicious when you wash it, and it seems to be serious." "Then how about a splash or two of banana dew?" "Fortunately you figured it out," my friend said with a sigh, turning pity into a smile. The two of us clasped our hands tightly, as if we were holding a great secret in the universe that God knows, everyone knows, everyone knows.