Chapter 49 4. A Fang, My Servant

There is a boy servant in my family, let's call him Ah Fang, because Ah Fang is not his name.He is a very clever kid.Ah Fang was only fifteen when hired by an exchange shop, sixteen at most.Now about eighteen years old, the larynx has grown, and the voice is slightly like a cockerel.But he still has a childish temper in his bones, coupled with his extreme intelligence, he doesn't listen to scolding, and can't bear it. Our family has no rules, and our identity as the master is not easy to support.Ah Fang is smart and well-behaved, she is indeed superhuman, she can do what others cannot, and there are many things that must be done by him.In terms of its confusion, haste, forgetfulness, and inversion, it is rare in the world.In about a week, the cups and plates broken by Ah Fang are always enough for the rest of the servants to break through for half a year.However, his heart is very bright, if you scold him, he just bows his head and thinks about it.Moreover, in the kitchen, he can also rule the roost and the emperor, and unconsciously, several servants of the elders also succumbed to his genius.Perhaps it was because everyone felt that he was highly talented, far above a group of servants.You only need to hear his tone of cursing and calling by mistake on the phone in the middle of the night, and you know that he is born as a young master.

I have to explain why I let Ah Fang rebel in our house.He can do things that other servants dare not do without being reprimanded.In Ah Fang's future, it was my turn to repair electric bells, connect fuses, hang mirror cases, and repair toilet floats.Now that Ah Fang can replace everything, I can read Plato's "Republic" in peace, and I won't release the book to fix the water toilet under orders, or the article will be so happy that no one will shout from the kitchen: "Hey! The water pipe is leaking." Just this level of reassurance is more than enough to make up for the loss I suffered from Ah Fang.He is endowed with a special talent, capable of despicable things, if any furniture is broken, he will come up with his own ideas, mend it, plug it, pull it and knock it, and it can be used immediately; in his free time, he will talk to the children in the garden about how the fire is red. I don't know whether the story of Liansi is interesting for the children told or listened to.There is one thing in particular that I admire.Since he came to my house, he has already spotted my English typewriter.Every morning when I was in bed, he would spend two hours in the study cleaning, actually playing with the typewriter.This was probably the first one he saw in his life, and it fascinated him.At this time, a mysterious voice came from the study.One day, the typewriter broke down.I spent two hours fixing it badly.I scolded him for playing with this machine.That afternoon, when I came back from a walk, Ah Fang said to me, "Sir, the machine has been repaired." From then on, I had no choice but to regard him as a smart and worthy compatriot.

There are many other aspects that really have to be done by Ah Fang.He can swear in English, Mandarin, Shanghainese, Anhui, and Xiamen on the phone. (Outsiders must be a genius to learn Xiamen dialect, and ordinary people always shy away from it).And where did he learn to speak beautiful English, only the God who endowed with genius knows.Just teach him once.He said Waiterminit instead of Wait-a-meenyoot like the average college student.I advised him to go to an English night school at night and offered to pay two-thirds of his tuition, but he refused to go.Like all geniuses, he hated school by nature.

This probably explains why Ah Fang can rebel at home.But asking Ah Fang to do something is another matter.For example, I asked him to buy a box of matches, and he went there for two hours. When he came back, he brought a new cloth shoe and a locust for the child, but no matches.Fortunately, he has not lost his innocence, and he still doesn't understand the difference between work and play in the world.It takes three hours to tidy up the bedroom, because at least one hour has to feed the caged birds, or joke with the new mother in the kitchen: "Fang, you are eighteen years old this year, and you have to be more serious," my wife said. .But what's the use?Also watch him break the cups and plates, scorch the foreign knife in the foreign oven (the foreign knife is washed and dried in the foreign oven, which is his genius invention), the dustpan is placed on the dining table, and the broom is left in the closet while I was catching locusts for children in the garden.Now my tea bowl is not complete.When he was preparing breakfast, there was a burst of "ping-ping-pong" in the kitchen, because he believed in doing things quickly.Breakfast was originally the job of the cook, but for some reason, it has become Ah Fang's monopoly.Probably because Ah Fang likes fried chicken, and the mother who cooks is a woman, so I had to listen to him.Because Ah Fang looked down on women.

Three weeks ago, we hired a new laundry mom, and the kitchen has been revamped since then.This mother is not old, only twenty-one years old, Ah Fang, you remember eighteen.Since then, the kitchen has become a stage for laughter and banter.The work became more slack, and the laughter increased day by day.The cleaning of the room has increased from two hours to three hours, Ah Fang even forgot the leather shoes I should clean every day.I taught him once, twice, and three times, but nothing came of it. Finally, I gave him a serious warning: If I don’t polish my leather shoes at 6:30 tomorrow and put them in front of the bedroom, I will definitely fire him.On this day, I put on a straight face and refused to speak to him. I made up my mind that I must clean up Ji Gang.I must maintain my status as master.That night, I summoned the whole family's servants and reiterated the warning. Everyone was afraid, especially my mother who cooked and washed. I went to bed peacefully and decided that Ji Gang at home had recovered.

The next morning, I woke up at six o'clock and listened to the sound outside the room.At 6:20, the young mother who does the laundry puts my leather shoes in front of the door.I don't feel fair. "I asked Ah Fang to bring it. Why did you bring it for him?" "I'm going upstairs, I'll bring it for him by the way," the old mother replied respectfully and politely. "Won't he bring it himself? Did he tell you, or is it up to you?" "He didn't call me, I made my own decisions." I know she is lying.Ah Fang's dream soul is still sleeping happily.But this young mother defended A Fang euphemistically, which made me feel embarrassed.I am willing to give in and stop tidying up Ji Gang.How the world is turned upside down in the kitchen now, I have no right to ask.

(According to the manuscript saved two years ago, Ah Fang later had an affair with her new mother, conspired with her to steal, and was imprisoned. She was released from prison in June this year and has not seen her since.)