Chapter 12 Chapter 2 Childhood

I was born in the 21st year of Guangxu in the former Qing Dynasty (1895 in the Western calendar). It was the end of the Qing Empire. Guangxu was young. Luxurious and lustful.My birth coincided with the beginning of the Sino-Japanese War, China was defeated, and the Treaty of Shimonoseki was signed, Taiwan and Japan were cut off.Before the Sino-Japanese War, Empress Dowager Cixi used the money to build the Chinese Navy to build the Summer Palace.According to records, after the war broke out, a Chinese gunboat participated in the battle with only two shells.The corrupt Manchu Qing bureaucrats used to purchase shells of different sizes from various countries to enrich themselves.Japan, under the Meiji Restoration, worked hard to become stronger, and later defeated Emperor Russia in the Russo-Japanese War in 1904. The Manchu Qing Dynasty was already a walking dead, and several years later, it was still a walking dead.

I was born in Banzai Village, Longxi County, a coastal mountainous area in southern Fujian.My greatest influences in early childhood were the mountain scenery, the unbearable idealism of my father, and the strict Christian home. Banzai Village is located in a fertile valley surrounded by mountains, locally known as East Lake.Although there are torrents and turbulence, they are shallow but not deep, and boats cannot be sailed. If there are, they are just small boats with shallow bottoms.The boatman and his daughter, when navigating the rapids, have to jump into the water, bare to their legs, literally carrying the boat on their shoulders.

To the south of Banzai Village, if you look far into the distance, you can see distant mountains, no matter it is sunny or rainy, they are all hidden between clouds and mist.Looking north, Jiaxi Mountain stands like a jagged shape, with high cliffs hanging high, blocking the sky and blocking out the sun.In winter, the wind whistles through the extremely narrow Dog Tooth Valley. Being here, one can almost connect with the Emperor of Heaven.Close to the open and bright place in the southeast, there is a horizontal ridge, where my sister and brother are buried.May their graves remain untouched today.The story of my second sister’s struggle and begging to go to school is still fresh in my memory today.

When I was a child, I went to Xiexi and Gulangyu Island every year, which was unforgettable all my life.At Xiexi, another river joined this river, and the river widened, so we changed to an official family boat until Zhangzhou, a large city in the county.When I arrived in Zhangzhou, the view suddenly opened up, the boat meandered forward, and the mountains on both sides of the bank were either high or low. Livestock farming, lychee, longan, vermilion and other fruit trees can be seen everywhere, giant banyan branches stretch out, and the shade is like a cover, just for people to enjoy the shade below. In winter, orange trees bloom, and vermilion is everywhere in the mountains.

My parents let my three brothers and I go to Gulangyu Island to study, so we naturally left our mother.One visit is often a whole year.Sitting in that kind of family boat, I always see the shrine of Mazu, the goddess of wind and waves, placed at the stern, burning a few sticks of incense, and the boatman often tells us old stories.Sometimes, we heard the sad and melodious flute sound from other boats.Music is on the water, God is in the palace of heaven.In my childish days, what better circumstances could I wish for? In the book "Lai Baiying", I described being born in the mountains from the viewpoint of the highlands, and I wrote it from the viewpoint of being born in the plains and from the "lowlands".It all depends on your personality.If I want to explain the views of the highlands and lowlands, I'd better quote a few words from page 95 of "Lai Baiying".When that boy Xi Lao was talking about mountains to Ruan Na, he said:

"We have mountains in Daihu. But when I was in your place, I didn't see mountains like that. The mountains near us are real mountains, not the ugly ones you see in Singapore. Our mountains are admirable , frightening, touching, and able to seduce people. There are peaks outside the peaks, overlapping, mysterious and unpredictable, so huge that it is simply impossible to fathom." He spoke with sudden excitement, as if pouring out a secret hidden in his heart for many years, so those who listened to him felt sudden and puzzled.He went on to say: "You don't know anything. If you were born in the mountains, the mountains will change your perception. It's like the mountains are in your blood. . Thinking of an appropriate word.He said: "Mountains force you to be humble-humble-respectful. Boying and I both grew up on the highlands. That highland is my mountain, and it's also Boying's mountain. I don't think the mountain has ever left us— — and never again..."

When Ruan Na heard this, her eyes widened.She just couldn't understand it.She only felt that the more Xilao talked, the more miraculous he was. The influence of the mountains he was talking about was difficult for others to understand. "You mean you value the memory of that mountain!" "It's not just precious. The memories of those mountains have entered my blood. As long as I became a child of the mountains when I was a child, I guarantee that I will be a child of the mountains all my life and will never change. You can say that the world has a highland outlook on life." , and a lowland outlook on life. The two are as far apart as heaven and earth, and there will never be a day of closeness."

Ruan Na smiled mysteriously. She said, "I don't understand what you're talking about? All I know is you're a weird guy." Xilao said, "Let me explain to you a little more clearly. My uncle's outlook on life is that of the lowlands. Flat, everything is flat. He never looks up." "Let me rephrase it again. For example You were born in those mountains, and you unconsciously judged everything based on the mountains and the peaks you are used to seeing. So, of course, you think skyscrapers are ridiculous, and they are so small that they are insignificant. Now you understand I mean, right? You feel the same way about everything else in life.

People, business, politics, money, whatever. " Ruan Na tilted her head back and smiled softly.She said, "Oh, so...but people praise skyscrapers. They don't compare skyscrapers to mountains like you do." Xi Lao said: "Naturally, our childhood days, the food we ate when we were children, we often went to catch shrimps and small mackerel, the small river where we soaked in water to cool our feet - those simple and childish things, although you I don’t think about it often, but those things, those things, always exist in the depths of your heart. They haven’t disappeared.” In another book, I also wrote about Gan Baiying’s hut in the mountains. "Lai Baiying" is an autobiographical novel.Lai Baiying was my first girlfriend.Because she insisted on being filial to her blind grandfather, and because I was going to study abroad, she separated from me.

"You spent the whole afternoon in the egret's nest. Their thatched hut is in a prominent place on the west mountain. A girl standing in the open space, with the blue sky behind her head, her hair fluttering in the wind, is much more beautiful than usual .She never looked servile and begging. Her bones were made to stand upright." That is why I am who I am.The reason why I am like this is because I depend on the mountain.This is also the keynote of character, I want to enjoy my freedom and don't want others to interfere with me.Like a mountain man who stands beside the Crown Prince and doesn't know him.He loves to talk, so he speaks quickly, and when he is not interested, he keeps silent.

Father was an incurable optimist, sharp and enthusiastic, imaginative, and humorous.Among the Presbyterian ministers, my father was known as an extreme Progressive.When few boys in Xiamen heard that there was a St. John's University, he had already sent his children to Shanghai to be educated in English.My father, though not muscular, had a high forehead, a matching chin, and a drooping beard.According to my memory, when I was ten years old, he was in his fifties.What I remember most about him is his leisurely laugh when he was with friends or pastors of his generation.He is kind and kind to our children, but if you look at it for ordinary elderly parents, he is also a bit strict.Even so, he would not refuse to joke with us. He would put a special dish in front of his mother, and sometimes he would also serve her.Xiamen is a city opened to Westerners to preach after China's five-port trade agreement in the 29th year of Daoguang.One of the jokes my father told was about Dr. Talama, a pioneer who preached in Xiamen.In the church at that time, men and women sat separately, each occupying one side.While he was preaching one humid and hot afternoon, he saw men dozing and women chatting.No one listened.He bent forward from the pulpit and said, "If you sisters don't speak so loudly, the brothers here can sleep more peacefully." My father was very much loved by Christians in Zhangzhou.His words are refreshing and flavorful, and ordinary people can understand them. As far as I know, my father is a self-taught and successful person.He used to sell sweets on the street and sell rice to prisoners, and he made a lot of money.He also sold bamboo shoots to Zhangzhou, which is about ten to fifteen miles away.There is a sarcoid on his shoulder, which was worn out by carrying a pole, and it has never completely disappeared.Once, someone taught him to carry a load for a pastor, to show that he would not treat him as an outsider.That Christian had no mercy for the young man, and made him pick very hard, and there were pots and pans in those things.The man also said: "Young man, you are very good. You can pick. You are worthy of being a good man." Until later, my father still remembered the load of things he picked in that hot afternoon.That is why he is in favor of labor. I remember he got into a fight with a local tax collector once.The tax collector was licensed to collect taxes at his own discretion in the market town every five days.There was a firewood seller who spent three days chopping firewood, splitting it into sticks, baking it into charcoal, and transporting it from the mountains to the market for sale.Each bundle sold for two hundred copper coins, and the tax collector charged him one hundred and twenty copper coins for each bundle of charcoal.My father happened to pass by.Seeing tax collectors bullying the poor and stepping forward to interfere, they insulted each other.The crowd gathered.In the end, the tax collector expressed his respect for my father's elder status and promised to reduce the tax payment-by how much, I can't remember.But when my father went home and told us about it, the tax collector's evil and unrighteousness made my father very angry. My mother married late.She is honest and straightforward.She can read the Bible in Hokkien pinyin.No matter what kind of farmer she is, she will invite people home to have a cup of tea, and invite people to come home to enjoy the shade on hot days.Although she is the pastor's wife, she never puts on airs.I remember that my mother was the daughter-in-law of eight children, and she was always exhausted at night, and it was hard for both feet to step over the threshold.But she gave us kindness, kindness as high as heaven and earth, but the children are equally grateful to her.When I was ten, maybe twelve, my older sisters were able to do the heavy lifting in the house, and my mother was left alone.My second sister and I always told my mother some ridiculous stories to amuse her.When my mother found out that we were teasing her, it seemed as if she had just woken up from a dream, and she suddenly realized, "There is no such thing. You said it to amuse me." My mother has always had bad teeth. Whenever she laughed in front of everyone, she always Is the habit of covering his mouth with his hands. We are six brothers, two sisters, and I am the second to last.At home, boys are required to sweep the floor, carry water from the well to the tank, and water the vegetable garden.We soon learned the art of tying the bucket down the well, and letting it tilt slowly when we reached the bottom.There is a rim on the head of the well. Although a whole bucket of water is heavy enough, I soon found that fetching water is very interesting. It's just that the water tank used in the kitchen can hold twelve buckets of water. The second sister does it.We didn't know what soap was then.When I was about ten years old, when my mother washed her hands with a bean cake, there was a kind of mucus.Later, we used soap, which was bought from the Commercial Press.My mother always hardened the soap in the sun so that it would last longer. In the summer, when my brothers came home, we rang the bell before every class.Father is a teacher.He taught us to read poems, scriptures, ancient prose, and common pairs.Father easily explained the meaning of the classics, and we all admire him very much.When I was almost eleven years old, I remember that my second sister would often stare at the shadow on the wall and say in a regretful and reluctant tone: "Now I have to do the laundry." In the afternoon, when it was a little late, she Looking at the shadow on the wall again, he almost said to himself, "I should take back the clothes I dried." In the evening, we all took turns reading the Bible, turned around, knelt on the stools, and prayed individually.Sometimes, my younger brother would fall asleep and my older sister would call him "Satan the devil", or "the son of Satan the devil".We brothers and sisters are not allowed to quarrel, in fact we have never quarreled.The rationale: everyone wants to be "friendly and nice".Later, when I was studying at St. John's University in Shanghai, I had to persuade my brother not to smile and be friendly with everyone like that.The color of this idealist is still planted in his heart, which can be clearly seen from his letters.He still believes that if everyone does not follow the path Jesus pointed out, there will be no peace in the world.Maybe he is right.He was a Quaker pacifist. I had my earliest aspirations to be a writer, and I wrote a textbook when I was eight years old.One page is the text, and the next page is the illustrations.I did it in secret, and I was very careful not to let others see it.When my eldest sister found out, I was so embarrassed, and soon all my brothers and sisters could recite it.The text is: self-improvement will eventually fail Holding a battle armor and relying on a bow and arrow I don't know how strong others are Others are thousands of times stronger In terms of the vocabulary used, the writing is not bad.When I write this text, I associate it with the situation in those days when the new church was under construction. The other page is about a bee gathering honey and getting burned.There is a picture of a small portable clay stove.The text has been forgotten.It's also a sign of the same moral lesson. I also took the invention of Chinese medicine powder to treat trauma as a play, and called it "Hao Si San".My childhood fantasies made me believe in the efficacy of this powder.Several sisters often joked with me because of this. I once wrote a pair, satirizing the teacher's comments on my composition.The teacher's comment to me was "like a giant python walking a path", so I said my writing was clumsy.What I paid back was "like a small worm crossing the wasteland".Now that I think of this couplet, I am quite proud. I also remembered that when I was a teenager, my mind often thought of things that no one else could think of.Very early on, I asked whether God is omnipresent, and if so, it must be "a god three feet above my head".Also, why do we thank God before every meal.I drew a conclusion very early on, that is, although the rice we eat may not be given by God, we should always thank the original giver, just like when there was a period of peace in history, the common people wanted Thank you King for the same. My second sister is four years older than me and is my advisor and partner.But when we played together, we still had a good time with her, and I didn't think she was older than me. We did grow up together, and she taught me and advised me, because I was a sweet kid and I was naughty.Later she told me that I was naughty and lost my temper.As soon as I heard that I was going to be hit with a stick, my face turned pale. When my father saw it, he let go of his hand and the stick fell to the ground.He does love me very much.When he eats dim sum around ten o'clock, it is usually pork liver and thin noodles. He often leaves half a bowl and calls me in to eat.I have never had pork liver noodles that taste so good. Once, the door was closed and I was not allowed to go home, so I threw stones at the house.Mother didn't know what to do with me.I pestered my mother again and again.I suddenly came up with a clever plan.I knew that my second sister had to wash my clothes, so I lay in the mud and said, "Now you have to wash my clothes." The second sister's eyes are particularly bright, and her teeth are neat and white.Her classmates all regard her as the beauty in school, but I don't want to say anything about it.She does well in her studies and should go to college.But my father had to provide for several sons.It is okay to provide for the son to go to college; it is not acceptable to provide for the daughter.Fuzhou's women's university costs 70 to 80 yuan for one semester's tuition.My father just couldn't do it.I know that my second sister really wants to get higher education.She had already finished middle school on Gulangyu Island; she was twenty-two years old at the time, and it was the time when a girl was proposed to marry her.But she doesn't care.When the night was still deeper, my mother would find an opportunity to talk to her about marriage.She always blows out the lights and refuses to talk about it. Finally, seeing that she had no choice but to agree to the marriage.That year, I was going to Shanghai to study at St. John's University.She also wants to marry in Xixi, which is also the direction to Zhangzhou.So we stopped on the way to her wedding.On the morning before the wedding, she took out forty cents from her body and said to me, "Hele, you are going to college. Don't let this chance go to waste. Be a good person, be a useful person, and be a good person. A famous person. This is my sister's wish for you. "I went to college, partly because of my father's desire.And because I know the wishes of my second sister very well, I deeply feel that her few words are simple but full of power.The whole thing disturbed me, and I felt as if I had committed a crime.Those few words of hers put an extremely heavy pressure on my heart, as if they were heavily branded on my heart, so I had a feeling, as if I was going to college for her.When I returned to my hometown the next year, my second sister died of a plague and was eight months pregnant.This incident made such an impression on me that I will never forget it.