Chapter 18 8. Central Youth League School (2)

Of course, Tian Jiaying is not an ordinary person. I have no direct contact with him, so I won’t talk about him here, but I can at least believe that he is knowledgeable, talented, thinking, creative, in a state of extreme excitement, and his words explode and his thinking speeds up. status. When I visited the United States for the first time in 1980, I saw a passage on a professor’s piano, saying that life is like a piano, its performance depends on how you play it.It reminds me of Comrade Tian Jiaying whose fate has been tragic for more than ten years. The Central League School also carried out a quick ideological transformation. While eagerly accepting new ideas and concepts of revolutionary theories, the students connected with reality to check which of their original ideas did not conform to the new concepts, and which reactionary theories were influenced by them. What kind of muddled understandings do you have, what are the prejudices of the exploiting class, what wrong and bad things you have done, and how you have failed the people and the revolution.I don't know how to form a kind of atmosphere, the more I scold myself, the more I regret my ugly reaction, the more it proves that I have gained something in my studies.

Our class held class-wide criticism meetings twice to help two students, both of whom were new intellectuals from the university who joined the revolutionary work, and who were active members of the anti-Chiang and anti-American student movement.One of them violated school discipline and had a love affair with a female student, and the way he expressed his love was considered completely petty bourgeois—he gave the girl a stone, using a homonym.The other person is a "student leader" who is eloquent, shows off, has a bold personality, and has said something about democracy and freedom, a typical "individual heroism".All of us criticized the two of them in a stormy manner. Everyone was in high spirits, feeling fresh and enthusiastic, and we were deeply exposed and criticized face to face.Unheard of in the past.These two people, especially the one at the back, were also excited and tragic by the hail of bullets and the cymbal-like criticism of the conference. They longed for a new miracle, longed for a new chapter in their own history, and claimed to be great help, great warmth, and great impetus... …

The party branch of the Youth League branch in our class had a very democratic re-election, completely nominated by the party and the league members, and the candidates also gave speeches about what they would do if they were elected.Other members also spoke freely, and the atmosphere was extremely active.The person who is considered to have personal heroism is a candidate for the Youth League branch committee. When someone points out that his irritable personality is a shortcoming.Another young man said that impatience is not good, but it is also beneficial. His characteristic is "five-year plan, completed in three years." Everyone applauded.But someone immediately pointed out that it was completely wrong politically to describe the "five-year plan, completed in three years" as the result of impatience, so the students were educated again.I regret that I also took a skeptical attitude towards the "three-year completion" impetuous theory, but I didn't immediately and solemnly pointed out that I lost an opportunity to express my high awareness and high level.

Although the individual heroist was criticized by the conference, he was still elected as a member of the Youth League branch, which is very touching. Another time my level is shown.Regarding vacations, the school made an arrangement once, and the students had some opinions. After reflection, the school adopted the opinions of the students. One student said that "the struggle has been won." I immediately pointed out that such a statement is inappropriate. Of course I was affirmed. I believe that my performance in the group school is still good.Discussions in various small groups and large groups are platforms for competing to express political correctness, and the task of going to the League School is to meet the standards of revolutionaries by mastering the way of analyzing problems.I am never behind in this aspect, and I am often praised and even envied by comrades in the group.But the teacher in charge pointed out that my way of thinking was one-sided. I think it was too easy for me to give full play to my small insights. I believe I was astonishingly "left" at the time.

There was a classmate in our group who came from the landlord class. Everyone helped him to clean up the crimes of the landlord class, and he accepted them all.When he was studying, he received a letter from his family and learned that his grandfather had passed away. A classmate who was one year older than me but looked more childish than me said, "There is one less old bastard." The grandson of the deceased showed displeasure, and we helped him raise his awareness , I think I have done a reasonable analysis.I express my disapproval of cursing the dead. At the same time, there is absolutely no reason to be disgusted by cursing an old landlord. We sensationally imagined the exploitation and oppression of the old landlord's ancestors, pampering and plundering the people.

In addition, I was still in poor health in the league school, and suffered from insomnia, which was difficult to cure.For a long time since then, I have taken adequate sleep as the primary health regimen. I joked that I am a sleep lover, and sleep can impact others, but others cannot impact sleep.This has something to do with my painful experience of insomnia as a teenager. We went to Beijing to participate in the founding ceremony during our study at the Youth League school.I came to Tiananmen Square as a member of the waist drum team.Boom, boom, boom, boom, when I think of all this, this rhythm will ring in my ears.I still remember how the people enthusiastically cheered "Long live Chairman Mao", and how Chairman Mao shouted "Long live the people" in Hunan dialect.

We also compiled a play based on the stories of our group. The content was about how a student with ideological problems went through a painful ideological struggle, and with the help of the organization and the masses, how he let go of his ideological burden, learned everything, and kept up with the pace of the revolution.I am one of the actors, playing a little comrade who is eager to help others solve their ideological problems. The eight months of study at the Central League School laid the foundation for my theoretical knowledge.Since then, I have been fond of discussing dialectical materialism and historical materialism, discussing the differences between Lenin's theory of party building and Menshevik's theory of party building, Chen Duxiu's right opportunism led to the failure of the Great Revolution, three left opportunism led to the failure of the struggle against encirclement and suppression... etc.