Chapter 3 three

She took me to my boyfriend's house.Not far from her home, in Paizi Hutong.After discussing with her boyfriend, she led me into a newly built brick house, not big, about ten square meters.A new double bed, a new quilt, a pair of embroidered pillows, a newly made and unpainted writing desk. She blushed and said, "This is our future new house." I also blushed and said: "This is not okay, this is not okay..." She said: "What's wrong? You are my brother's friend, just like my brother!" Her boyfriend also said: "Don't look outside, my two older sisters are both in the Great Northern Wilderness. Every time they visit home and change trains in Harbin, they have to stay at your Harbin educated youth's home for a day or two, and the Harbin educated youth will pick you up and drop them off Stand. The educated youths in Harbin show loyalty. We Beijingers have enough friends for the educated youths in Harbin!"

That's how I lived in their future new house.Once you have a place to live, all you need most is sleep.I sat on a hard seat from Shanghai to Beijing. I traveled all day yesterday and went on a "night tour" at the train station. I was extremely sleepy. After they left, I fell asleep and didn't wake up until after three o'clock in the afternoon.When you wake up, go to Dashilan and Tiananmen Square.Come back for dinner after shopping.After dinner, my "sister" came to see me and chat with her boyfriend.Before leaving, she asked, "Brother Liang, you must be short of money, right?"

I said, "No shortage, no shortage." She said: "Whether you lack it or not, I will leave you twenty yuan." She pressed the twenty yuan under the pillow. I said, "I will pay you back the first month's expenses." She said, "Look, you're not telling the truth! This is your home, so why not be polite!" Three days later, I went to the Ministry of Culture again. The lesbian who received me asked me: "Would you like to stay in the Ministry, or would you like to go to a specific literary and art unit?" I asked back: "What work will I be assigned to stay in the Ministry?"

She said: "It's a pity that you are not a party member. Otherwise, you can be assigned to the Organization Department and the Cadre Bureau. However, your graduation appraisal is good-you have fought against the 'Gang of Four', this is very important. Based on this appraisal, you can go to the Ministry first. The 'Inventory Office' is assisting with the work, their workload is high and they are short of people." I said: "Then assign me to a specific literary and art unit." She said: "This is related to your personal future in the future, so you should think carefully about it. Staying in the ministry has the benefits of staying in the ministry. It's easier to solve organizational problems, and the identification in your file is very beneficial to you!"

I said, "There's nothing to think about." She said: "It's up to you! Beijing Film Studio, Film Academy, Central Academy of Drama, China Youth Art Theatre, you can choose from these four art units." I thought about it for five minutes.I thought, what can I do at the Central Academy of Drama and Film Academy?Be a teacher?What film theory or theater theory do I know?Why don't you tell the students to blow me off the podium?To the Youth Art Theater ?I am not very interested in dialogue drama.What about film studios?What can I do in a film studio?At that time, I really felt that my artistic knowledge and artistic accomplishment in all aspects were too little!

I asked hesitantly: "Is there any place that needs a literary editor? For example, "People's Literature" and "Beijing Literature". My greatest wish is to be a good editor in the future. I believe I can." She said: "Then you go to Beijing Film Studio! The studio also has an editorial department and needs editing." I stopped thinking and said, "OK!" I thought to myself: I watched too few movies before, but I will watch some movies in the future. She kept the letter of introduction from Fudan University and gave me another letter of introduction from the Ministry of Culture.Then, she gave me my file and asked me to take it to Beiying by myself.

When I came to Beijing Film Studio, I saw soldiers standing guard beside the gate of the Beijing Film Studio. I was really puzzled.It seems that from the Ministry of Culture to Beijing Film Studios, cultural and art units in Beijing are implementing "military control". After reading the letter of introduction from the Ministry of Culture, a comrade from the personnel department of Beiying said, "Why did the Ministry assign people without our prior consent! Our staff quota has already exceeded. We have to ask the leader to accept it. I don’t accept you. You go back first and come to listen to me in a few days.”

My heart was half cold, and I asked, "How many days?" He said, "Three or four days later!" I want to leave the file. He said, "You take it with you first." I left Beiying in frustration.I am even more depressed than when I left the Ministry of Culture three days ago. Seeing that I was in a bad mood, my "sister" asked me how the result was? I told her without any concealment that I hit a "soft nail" in Beiying. She comforted her and said, "Hey, this is worth worrying about? Beiying doesn't want you, so there are still several literary and art units to go to? You are an aboveboard university graduate, and you are afraid that you will become a jobless vagrant in Beijing?"

I said, "I've caused you a lot of trouble these past few days. If I stay here any longer, I feel uneasy!" My "brother-in-law" said: "Don't be uneasy. We didn't respect you and provide for you! We treat you as our own family, why are you uneasy? Tomorrow is Sunday, and we will accompany you to go boating in the North Sea, or to the Summer Palace Go and have fun for a day." After they comforted me, my depression was relieved a bit. On Sunday they accompanied me to go boating in the North Sea.The whereabouts of the assignment have not been settled, and I am not having fun.

Came back at night, lying in bed, unable to sleep.Suddenly, an idea occurred to him, he wanted to open his file bag and see what kind of material Liang Mou contained in it.With bare feet, he took it out of his schoolbag.But thinking about it again, opening one's own file bag privately, not to mention "breaking the law and committing a crime", is considered a sneaky act.Put it back.Lie on the bed again, still unwilling to give up.Why not allow a person to know what materials about himself, his parents and relatives are in his file bag?It is like a shadow, following you all your life.You think you're a good person, and you try to live like that, but it's likely to prove to many people that you're a bad person.Many people believe it far more than you actually act and perform in your life and at work. "Not entrusted with important tasks", "political ambitions", "bad ideology", "misconduct", etc., etc.Such comments have been written on the various appraisals of how many people!But the person who wrote the appraisal is not necessarily a gentleman.You died, were cremated, and put in an urn.Your file becomes part of your son's or your daughter's file again.Just thinking about it is enough to make people smoke!

Although I know that there will never be any black material in my file, and although the words of the lesbian from the Ministry of Culture have also confirmed this, the curiosity I have about my file bag is simply irreplaceable.Even if the whole thing is full of advantages, I still want to know what are the advantages of me as a person.It is beneficial to carry forward in the future!Who told them to let my portfolio fall into my own hands?Don't look for nothing!Such an opportunity is rare! So I jumped to the ground with bare feet again, and took out the file bag from my schoolbag for the second time.Holding it in my hand is like holding my own soul, a "second soul" created for me by others. It is very light when weighed.How come the "soul" of a fucking twenty-eight-year-old has such a small amount of weight! There was no water for washing feet.I soaked the seal with footwashing water, then carefully opened it with a pin, and excitedly pulled out a few pages of paper and forms. My file is so simple, so simple that it puts me off.The graduation signature of elementary school and the graduation signature of middle school are all well written.In the graduation signing of the middle school, there are unexpectedly words like "responsibility for others, strict self-restraint", which is almost a compliment.I can't help but think, I hope this article will be written in the eulogy after I die.The various signings during the seven years of the Great Northern Wilderness are also quite good, and there is no lack of praise.I suddenly felt strange, since I am so good, why not develop me into the party?Read page by page and article by article, and you can see something famous.There are two: disrespect for leadership.Politically immature.Isn't it not easy to join the party with these two shortcomings!No wonder no wonder.It is just to disrespect leadership.In the old company, I quarreled with the company commander instructor.In the wood processing factory, I had a quarrel with the company commander instructor.When he was in the regiment, he contradicted the director of the political department, the deputy political commissar, and the chief of staff.I think this one will really have to work hard to correct it after I come to a new job. I don't agree with being politically immature.Politically immature, can you just write a big-character poster "criticizing Deng" expressing your position?Politically immature, can you "struggle against the 'Gang of Four'"?Taking out the pen from the school bag, I have to change the word "no" into the word "very" by my temper.After taking a few measurements, I felt that the strokes were really difficult to change, so I gave up resentfully. There is no "black material", and the "red" is not bad, which makes me feel not only disappointed, but also a bit regretful.If there is any "black material", don't let me do this trick. The opened file bag was left on the unpainted desk, and he fell asleep dully. Since then, I no longer have any curiosity or interest in the "second soul" in my portfolio.Let it rest in peace in the portfolio! Rather, it is the soul that is with my body, because of some of my behaviors, some desires that did not become behaviors, some consciousness that did not become desires, some hazy bad impulses that did not even become consciousness, and Often feel ashamed.This soul never rests. It's my second time to Beiying. The person who received me was not there, and another lesbian I had never met said that the person was sick and would not go to work for more than ten days.I asked if my work was settled.She said she didn't know about it. I became angry again, and asked furiously, "Where is your factory director? I want to see him!" She said lightly, "You can't see him. He's visiting abroad!" She asked, "Then where is your party secretary?" Said: "Can't tell you. In a meeting." I widened my eyes and said, "If you don't tell me, I will miss my assignment and I will never end with you!" Seeing that I was not a good person, she changed a more polite tone and said, "It's useless for me to tell you. He's in the meeting room on the second floor, and he's having a meeting. Can he receive you?" I didn't talk to her too much, so I turned around and left.He went down one floor, found the meeting room, suppressed his anger and knocked on the door. A person opened the door slightly, poked his head out and said, "It's a meeting!" Then he tried to close the door. I finally couldn't hold back my anger, kicked open the door, and rushed in aggressively. More than a dozen people stared at me blankly. I glared at them and shouted, "Which one is the secretary of the party committee?!" I raised my voice even higher: "Which one is the party secretary?!" A man in his sixties with a yellow and thin face covered with wrinkles asked uneasily in a hoarse voice with a Hunan accent: "What do you want from him?" glue on it), in front of them, tore the seal like an envelope, pulled out my "soul", threw it on a coffee table, and said sharply: "I am from Fudan University. A graduate of the Department of Chinese Language and Culture, came to Beijing Film Academy from the cultural department, but after three days and two visits, I couldn’t even get a specific answer! I have no relatives in Beijing, and I have spent all my money. There is not even a shelter. You treat a college graduate who has fought against the "Gang of Four" like this, and you treat college students with assignments like this, is it outrageous? Do you still have the Ministry of Culture in your mind?! Do you Beijing Film Academy Not under the leadership of the Ministry of Culture of the People’s Republic of China?! If you don’t want me, you can simply explain it, which is also a kind of answer! There are many cultural and art units in Beijing! ..." My impromptu speech was plausible and the effect was quite good. A female comrade in her fifties said very politely: "Don't be angry, sit down and talk, sit down and talk." He picked up my file from the coffee table and looked at it.After watching for a while, I looked at other people and said: "I have fought against the 'Gang of Four'." In black and white, it is still fake! After entering the factory, I found out that she is the director of the Political Department of Beijing Film Group.He was also the person in charge of the "Inventory Team" of Beijing Film Studios at that time, and one of the members of the "Inventory Office" of the Ministry of Culture.A gay male about her age, with a dark red face and slightly fat, said, "Let me look at the file." She gave the file to him. He looked at it for a while, and said to the yellow and thin-faced man, "Our editorial department wants him." He was the first director of the editorial department after I joined the factory. Huang Shoulian nodded again and again, "I agree, I agree." He is the party secretary.I found out later that the meeting was held to urge him to "speak clearly".All the people here are members of the party committee, no wonder he is so listless.The "Spring Grass Breaking Through the Hall" starring me is just in time for the gongs and drums.The item "struggled with the 'Gang of Four'" in my graduation appraisal clearly had a potential influence on each of them. The director of the editorial department said to me: "You can go to the personnel department to make a relationship." I really didn't expect that after running around several times, I was so worried that I couldn't eat and sleep for a week, and it was simply solved within a few minutes. It seems that sometimes it is not enough to be gentle, courteous and thrifty blindly.Things that should get angry, still have to get angry. The "glory" of "struggling with the 'Gang of Four'", although written on my "Second Soul", often makes me feel funny and ashamed. Politics is sometimes too generous to people... The director of the editorial department asked me again: "Where are all your things?" I said: "It's all packed in checked luggage." He said: "After the reminder order arrives, I will send a car to pull it back for you." I said, "Then you have to find a place to live for me first?" He said, "We'll talk about this later. Go to the factory guest house first, and I'll call and arrange a bed for you. I'll have a rest today, visit the factory, and find me in the editorial department tomorrow morning." In this way, I became an editor in the editorial department of Beijing Film Studio, and I was assigned to the foreign manuscript group. After I became an editor at Beijing Film Studio, I regretted, felt ashamed, and felt uneasy about my "breaking into the hall" behavior.Looking back on my appearance at that time, I always feel a bit "playing bachelor".I'm afraid that the first impression left on those party committee members is not good. Most of the comrades in the editorial department were very kind to me.From the director to the old team leader of our external manuscript team.The latter is a "March 8" veteran cadre in Yan'an, born in "Lu Yi", one of the lyricists of "My Home is on the Songhua River in the Northeast", an editor of the film, and a native of Xiao Hong's hometown. A little fellowship.He is short, looks like a farmer, and dresses like a farmer. He never leaves his smoking pot, which is a foot and a half long, all day long.At first I was very surprised, thinking that he was a remnant of the old "farmer propaganda team".After understanding, I am very respectful. He often chats with me when he has nothing to do.Asked many times: "How did you fight the 'Gang of Four' in Fudan? Tell me, tell me." I am ashamed every time.Zuo modestly said: "There is nothing to say, nothing to say." He grew fond of me and regarded me as a humble young man. Later, the director told me that if I didn't have that item in my appraisal, he would never want me based on the "Red Guard" legacy of "breaking into the hall" at that time.In fact, when I was a "Red Guard", I was actually "gentle, courteous, courteous and frugal". The "big series" went back to Harbin and met my Chinese teacher. At that time, she was labeled as a "historical counter-revolutionary" and her head was shaved. I still saluted her at the school gate and said "Hello, teacher".Because I am her favorite student.My bad temper was developed unconsciously during the process of "re-education" after arriving in the Great Northern Wilderness. My mother taught me when I was young - "It's hard to kick the first three legs".It means that when you arrive at a new place, a new unit, and among new comrades, you must be especially cautious in your words and deeds, so as to leave a good initial impression on people.Although my mother is an ordinary housewife and illiterate, she attaches great importance to our family education.I hope that when our children grow up, they will all be gentle, slow-spoken, and prudent in their affairs.The good young man she thinks is the type who "like a big girl".Before I was eighteen years old, the results of this kind of tutoring were particularly remarkable.Not only polite, but also "shy".After eighteen years old.The imprint of this kind of tutoring began to blur and began to degenerate.Because my mother has no time to teach me anymore.Society has worked for the mother.The content of social education is quite different from that of family and school, and it is also more convincing than family and school education.It takes another way, which often stimulates my resistance.Both types of education have latent effects on me.I usually ask myself to be as polite as possible and treat others with courtesy.Once they resisted, they would "burst with anger", wishing that "there would be two corpses lying across, with blood splattered several feet".The out-and-out "Wrath of the Man".Fortunately, I am thin and have no boxing skills.Otherwise, there would probably have been a life lawsuit.These can only experience "emotional fighting" when watching Kung Fu movies. However, I think my mother's teaching is the most reasonable statement. "The first three legs are hard to kick", so you have to "kick" well.Generally speaking, whenever I go to a new unit or a new place, I can always "kick" the "first three feet".Once the days go by, there will inevitably be a "header" or "reversal".Most of the "balls" were shot at the leaders, and the result was often "cleaned off" by a good impression.Who has the patience to be "gentle, courteous, courteous and frugal" every day for more than 360 days a year?Occasionally revealing "magnificence" is also a must. In the first days, I kept my own place in the editorial department.I come to work from the hostel early every day, mop the floor, wipe the table, fetch water, and then sit and read the manuscript.The clothes are also very simple, and they don't glance at the girls while walking on the road.It's not like some young people "seeing like a thief" when they see a beautiful girl, let alone strike up a conversation, get acquainted with young actresses or "sub" actresses stickily.After work, I shut myself up in my room in the hostel to read, and never wandered around the factory.On holidays and holidays, I was bored alone, so I took the No. 16 bus at the factory gate and went straight to the zoo to see rhinos.Of all the animals, the one I can't get enough of is the rhino.Because it never cares about what others think of it, and never puts on airs. In short, the impression I gave people at that time was that I was well-behaved, honest, and dutiful.All comrades in the editorial department are called "teachers".Sometimes he pretends to be a child, ignorant of the world, and pretends to be. One day, he finally did something uncivilized and slapped a child movie star who was familiar to men, women and children all over the country. The room I live in has four beds.A bed is not empty even when it is full.It was often full at that time. Among the guests was a man from Jinzhou.He's a nice guy, but I've had a real headache about his presence.He is a "sleeping fairy", and his eyelids will close when he is talking to you.As soon as the eyelids were closed, it slowly fell like a boulder.As soon as the person fell down, the snoring sounded like thunder.In the dead of night, the snoring sounded like a bulldozer starting.I'm almost on the verge of a neurosis. I finally hoped that he and I would have a "session" and lay down early after nine o'clock, hoping that the nerves that had been tortured for more than ten days could be fully rested. However, could not sleep at all.In the next room, several people were chatting loudly, mixed with laughter of men and women.The two rooms are not completely separated, there is a door open on one wall, and a bed crosses it.They were chatting in my room, laughing and joking. Ask them to be quiet, but I don't want to.There is no need to ask someone for such a thing. Just cover your head with a quilt.Unable to sleep, squinting dryly. It's ten o'clock, the rest time stipulated by the guest house.Get up and tap on that door a few times as a reminder. The crow was quiet for a moment, hee hee hee hee, ha ha ha ha.And those words are a bit vulgar.We northerners call it "dumbness". Look at your watch, it's half past ten.Hold on.