Chapter 31 Nine, something went wrong

For me, May 1963 was a thrilling time, and many scenes are still vivid in my mind today, forty years later. The day before May Day, after class, when I returned to my dormitory, Guo Shiying said to me: "I won't go home on May Day, let's see how they do!" He squinted his eyes and stared out the window with a sneer in his eyes. "But don't tell anyone," he added.After a while, he grabbed his schoolbag and left, leaving me alone in deep unease.I had read about the Cold War scene at the family dinner table in one of his novels.For example, facing a table of sumptuous dishes, he would make a provocative exclamation: "Oh, it would be nice to take these dishes back to school and eat slowly." This is obviously a satire on the privileged life at home, and the result will be There was an awkward silence.Then, his mother began to repeat the lectures that he was tired of listening to, his sister agreed, and his brother gave him contemptuous glances.On such occasions, the father was always silent.His younger sister and younger brother are still young, and only his eldest brother Minying shares his sympathy with him.From this, I knew that the relationship between him and his family was a bit tense, but I didn't expect it to be so tense.

On May 3 and 4, he did not come to school. On the evening of May 5th, Cao Qiuchi came to see me suddenly.This is very unusual, he has a close relationship with Guo Shiying, but he has never had a separate relationship with me.As soon as he sat down on the edge of the bed, he said, "Oh, I'm so nervous, something happened." Then he told me that Guo Shiying hadn't come home during May Day, and they tried to sneak across the border, but they were discovered. This is something I never thought of.Before that, although Shiying said that one day he would go abroad, I just thought he was joking and didn't take it to heart.In retrospect, some of his recent erratic behavior has answers.For example, when money was tight, he and Zhang Heci always went to the second-hand bookstore to sell books, and he also refunded the food tickets in the cafeteria, and ate plain rice or shared a dish with me.Another example is that I am extremely enthusiastic about exercising, getting up early every day to practice parallel bars and lifting dumbbells.So, this is making financial and physical preparations for going abroad.

"Where is he now?" I asked. "I heard it's at Zhang Heci's house." Cao Qiuchi replied. As soon as Cao Qiuchi left, I immediately went to Mr. Chen's house, hoping to get some information from him.He had just sent Ye Rongqing away, and said triumphantly: "You didn't come to me in the past, but now you come to me when something happens!" After I sat down, he continued: "Even if you don't talk to me, I won't talk to you." Do you know the situation? I know all about it! What’s the big deal, isn’t it just x.” I was shocked when I heard that, knowing that x had been exposed.He gave me some education, the central meaning is to let me believe in the organization, and if I understand Guo Shiying in the organization, I will be able to save him.

When I woke up the next morning, my first thought was: go find Shiying!I don't know where Zhang Heci's home is, I only know that his father is a professor.There is Weixiu Garden opposite the south gate of Peking University. I heard that many professors lived there, so I went there to look for it.I wandered around the small courtyard for a whole half a day, asking people, knocking on doors, and shouting Guo Shiying's name over and over again. During those two days, my heart was full of worries, and I almost went crazy thinking about Shiying.In my mind, there is only one big thing in the whole world, and that is to see Shiying, to see with my own eyes that he is safe.I cannot live without seeing him. On the 8th, Zhang Heci automatically appeared in front of me.He said kindly: "Do you want to see Guo Shiying? It's at my house—a number in Zhongguanyuan." Then he stuffed a small note into my hand and left in a hurry.I unfolded the note, and on it was the familiar handwriting: "I am writing you this letter because you are smart. We will have a chance to change our relationship in the future." The calm tone was beyond my expectation, but I can't figure out what he means by changing the relationship.

That afternoon, I went to Zhongguan Garden and met Cao Qiuchi on the way.He had just been to Zhang's house, and after meeting me, he turned back and walked with me.He frankly said that his entire effort was to make things go away and not implicate himself. "If you persuade him, he won't listen to anyone's words now, but you say he will." He said to me. Zhongguan Garden is composed of neat rows of red brick bungalows, each with a lawn in front of the door.When we arrived, Sun Jingwu and Ye Rongqing were sitting on the steps of Zhang's house, talking about the names of flowers, yellow thorn plum, wisteria and so on.Cao Qiuchi approached Sun, talking about Guo Shiying: "He is pretending to be a hero." Sun lazily corrected: "He is pretending to be a hero." After waiting for a while, Shiying came back, followed by Zhang Heci.Shiying stared like a madman, and walked slowly towards us.Seeing him like this, I was terrified and my heart was pounding.However, I soon discovered that he was staring at Sun Jingwu.He was extremely indifferent to Cao Qiuchi and completely ignored him.Seeing me, he immediately relaxed, smiled kindly, and said, "What a pity, who told you to know me." Sitting down on the lawn, he told me lightly that we almost never saw each other .Later I learned that during these days, he had tried to commit suicide by lying on the track, but Zhang Heci noticed and followed him, and pulled him back from the side of the track.

In the next two days, I went to Zhang Zhai to see Shiying again.Once, the two of us were sitting on the lawn, and Zhang and Sun were burning manuscripts in the house. They came in and out, looking very busy.Zhang Heci came out of the room, held up the stack of unfinished novels and asked Guo Shiying: "Do you want to burn it?" Guo replied: "No, I will continue to write it." dissatisfied expression.I also heard Sun Jingwu say that he also wanted to keep those notes on reading Mao Xuan.When I left, Zhang told me, don't come here in the future, it won't be clean if it gets dirty.

During those few days, the school, family, and friends all worked hard to stabilize Guo Shiying's mood, and he finally went back to live in his own home. One day in mid-May, he came to the school and returned to student life.He seemed to be in good spirits, but he was completely unwilling to talk about what had happened.I asked him about his plans for the future, and he said that anyway, the Department of Philosophy is not allowed, because he will betray his family if he studies philosophy.I could see that he hated Cao Qiuchi very much.Once, he asked me: "Do you want me to mess with Cao Qiuchi?" I said: "Forget it, let him hang out, anyway, it won't be long." He said: "You are kind." Once, I saw him call Cao out together with Zhang Heci, and Cao had a bad look on his face.I vaguely felt that it was Cao who reported on X, and Teacher Chen confirmed this to me later.Teacher Chen also said that in early May, Guo Shiying left a suicide note to his family, saying that he was gone and they would never find him again.Yu Liqun came to Chen and cried.Zhang Heci went to Peking University to fetch clothes for Guo, but was detained. Only then did he know that Guo was at Zhang's house, and Chen accompanied Yu to see Guo at Zhang's house.Thirty-six years later, I met Zhang Heci and got a little more detailed information from him.According to him, in March and April 1963, Cao wrote to Guo Moruo's secretary, and possibly also to the Ministry of Public Security, to report on the small group.Afterwards, the rumors became very tight, and Guo Shiying and he planned to sneak across the border from Yunnan, but in fact they did not implement it.

A few days after Shiying returned to school, on May 18, the two of us were playing chess in the dormitory, and some classmates were watching the game. Suddenly, two people came and called him out.Those two people belonged to the school security team.As soon as he walked out of the dormitory, he never came back.