Chapter 14 14. Zen Mind

Life is in a hurry, and a firm person will also have soft moments.Maybe our hearts are strong enough to withstand the precarious wind and rain in the world, but we will still be caught off guard by some sudden events. Everyone rushes along with the seasons, and there have been many similar scenes in dreams.As time goes by, we tend to regard the ending as the beginning, parting as meeting, and tragedy as drama.I don't know if this is an illusion, or a "conspiracy" designed by the years.Along the way, in addition to following the scenery of the four seasons, there is also my own shadow that refuses to leave.We never have to worry about being separated from the shadow one day. Maybe it is not inherently benevolent, but it has a mission of no choice.When you are empty, you can drink with the shadow, and when you are lonely, you can talk to the shadow quietly.Even so, we will never be able to overlap and embrace the shadow.

The seasons change suddenly, and you never greet anyone. If you can't reverse it, you have to be conquered by it.You just walked out from the depths of Zhou Dunyi's lotus, and you followed Du Mu's carriage and fell drunk in the maple forest of Qiushan, while Li Qingzhao's plum blossoms also jumped from the paper, and your youthful youth was urged to grow old.Su Manshu was urged by time in this way, turning around the mountains and rivers one after another, sometimes whipping his horse, sometimes paddling a boat, and sometimes walking alone.From the misty Jiangnan with apricot blossoms, to the island country with snowy cherry blossoms, from the bustling brothels to the quiet and empty temples, he tirelessly plays different roles, and carries the drama of life to the end. Passers-by of all kinds are always just him. supporting role.

In Qingqiu, Su Manshu rushed from Shanghai to Nanjing at the appointment of Layman Yang Renshan, where he taught Sanskrit at the "Yuanjingshe" established by Yang Renshan to train monks and study Buddhism. "Yuanjingshe" recruited monks from the great temples in Zhenjiang and Yangzhou to teach Sanskrit. After several years of study, they were sent to study in Japan and India to further study the Sanskrit scriptures.Su Manshu admired Yang Renshan very much, and thought: "Today, I would like to protect my Buddha's remaining light, and I am only an old man who is like a sunset." Four hundred and eighty temples, how many towers are in the mist and rain" the grand occasion of Buddhism.

After thousands of years, many old things are still there, but the personnel and affairs have been secretly replaced.In Hanshan Temple in Suzhou, Qixia Temple in Nanjing, Jinshan Temple in Zhenjiang, and Daming Temple in Yangzhou, there have been generations of eminent monks.They carried forward Buddhism in their respective dynasties and deeply understood Zen principles.Su Manshu asked himself that he was not a generation of eminent monks, but as a young monk, such achievements are also admirable.On the Buddhist hall, put your hands together, and the past events in the world are scattered into smoke.In fact, Su Manshu is more sober than anyone else. He understands that prosperity is just dust after all, and time will take away all certain and uncertain promises, but he still makes himself entangled in love in the world, unable to let go and forget.

The Buddha will not reject anyone who is walking on the way, no matter how long it takes them to reach the scenic spot of Lingshan Mountain, or some people cannot reach it in their lifetime, as long as they have such thoughts, the Buddha will do their best to save the world.On the way to Lingshan, Su Manshu was not a person who gave up halfway. Although he did not persevere in his pursuit, he never gave up either.Running in the world of mortals on the Moshang, I still never forget the Buddha in my heart; I fell drunk in the Chu Pavilion of the Red Mansion, still holding the lotus, smiling again and again.This is Su Manshu, who seems to be different from any monk, with the word "destiny" written on the paper of his life.Regardless of whether he is fatal or not, he has never completely escaped the game of chess arranged by fate in this life.

In this cold winter day, Su Manshu has been living in Jinling, giving lectures on Sanskrit and even opening an altar to preach.Perhaps it was the power of Buddhism that restrained Su Manshu. In the past when he came to Qinhuai, he would linger in the Fireworks and Willow Lane. This time he tried his best to suppress his emotions and did not look for his former confidant, but it does not mean that he Will not miss.How many times did he wake up in the middle of the night and look at the plum blossoms blooming one after another in the courtyard, which would still stir his emotions.Sometimes, he feels that he is the loneliest person in the world, because no amount of emotion can fill the emptiness in his heart; sometimes, he feels that he is extremely fulfilled, because he has more Zen mind than ordinary people, He tasted a bit more of the world than monks.

In January of the following year, when Su Manshu was 26 years old, he traveled east to Japan and went to Tokyo. pleasure.For Su Manshu, Japan is even more familiar to him than China, and the plants and trees here often bring him the intimacy of his hometown.In fact, Japan is also his hometown. Since the death of his father Su Jiesheng, his adoptive mother He Hexian is Su Manshu's only relative in this world.Nostalgia for this city is because there are people he cares about in the city, and there are mortal ties that he can't let go of.The same is true for each of us, who has a fateful nostalgia for a certain city, all because of a certain person or a certain scenery in the city.

It's dusk on the sea in the autumn wind, and I'm hanging on to Byron alone. The so-called love of houses and crows may be like this. When you have feelings, the people and things you like, and everything related to them are beautiful.People in the world can't escape one catastrophe after another. It sounds like a trap, but in fact, they are willing to jump into it.The days are all the same, it is we who live it up and down, to the point of mixed joys and sorrows, love and hate.What a fragile life, jumping thoughts and unpredictable emotions often make us unable to dominate ourselves. When we cannot dominate ourselves, we will inevitably be dominated by others.

In the journey of life, Su Manshu also walked gropingly. He didn't know when there would be a fork blocked by thorns, and where a pilot lamp would appear.This April, he drew a picture of "Wen Ji Tu".This peerless talented woman who played and sang Hu Jia Eighteen Beats to the heart, deeply moved his heart.Cai Wenji was once a captive of the Huns, and the sky cried for her, but she also captured the hearts of others with her extraordinary talent.The debts in this world are originally what you owe me and I owe you, no one can really settle the debt.If Cai Wenji hadn't been exiled to the end of the world, how could there have been eighteen Hujia shoots, and there would be no place for her in the glorious history.Perhaps this is what Buddhists call gains and losses, a simple choice can determine the fate of a lifetime.

In May, Su Manshu served as a translator for the Japanese Buddhist Association.Perhaps because of the long hours of exhaustion, he suffered from encephalopathy and often suffered from headaches and could not rest.Despite this, Su Manshu still went to the Vatican Association to interpret for Indian Brahman monks at 2:30 every morning.As a friend of Indian Sanskrit master Mijun, the original plan to jointly translate the long narrative poem "Cloud Messenger" by the Indian poet sage Kali Dashe was put on hold due to brain disease.In June, Su Manshu chose to rest and live in Zuzi Beach with his adoptive mother He Hexian.In this beautiful place called Sakura Village, he found the tranquility and remoteness of the past.The carrier pigeon that Juzi sent him the news back then is still there, but the person who released the pigeon has long been lost.

Taking advantage of the few months of recuperation, Su Manshu once again recalled the time when he and Juzi were in love.The small village near the mountains and the sea brought him back to his youth. He relived the sweetness of his first love and tasted the pain of loss again.It was said to be an episode in life, but it hurt him too much. It was also this fatal blow that made him convert to Buddhism and examine the height of Buddha with his heart.His choice may be the impulse of a bloody man when he was at a loss, but it is definitely not punishment.The power of Dharma is something we cannot predict. It can bring a person back from sin to kindness, from sinking to sobriety, from grief to calmness.Su Manshu's desperate state of mind at the beginning was also relieved in front of the Buddha, and only then did he have the courage to complete the road ahead. In September, after resting, Su Manshu returned to Shanghai, and within a few days, he went to Hangzhou West Lake to visit his friend Liu San.Su Manshu lived in Baiyun nunnery again, but this time it was different from the past, he had no leisure time to hide in the nunnery, eat sugar and smoke.Because this coincided with Liu Shipei's rebellion, the revolutionaries suspected that Su Manshu had become a collaborator because of his feelings, so they sent a letter to warn him.Su Manshu, who has always been free and easy, was disturbed by this matter, and immediately left Hangzhou for Shanghai, just to show his innocence.Liu San wrote a poem to comfort him: "If you do something about your fate, you will become an idiot when you laugh." Life is in a hurry, and a firm person will also have soft moments.Maybe our hearts are strong enough to withstand the precarious wind and rain in the world, but we will still be caught off guard by some sudden events.Walking on the rice paddies in foreign lands, we are often hijacked by a plant, captured by a speck of dust, and tortured by the sound of the wind, but we don’t know where we can really place our souls. It is impossible to achieve complete tranquility.