Chapter 12 Twelve, love flower

When you can't completely forget a person or an event, you should keep it in a safe place and store it in a corner that is not easy to touch. When it is midnight, think about it quietly alone. There are many roads in this world that can lead to the other side of the lotus, but there is only one road that does not work.The Buddha saves all living beings in the world every day, only one person cannot be saved.Many stories are suitable to be quietly remembered in the old days, but there is only one story, which is destined to be forgotten.If you like someone, you hope you can stay with him forever, just like water and shore, flowers and leaves.When you forget someone, you hope to rub shoulders with them forever, just like dawn and dusk, yesterday and tomorrow.

A wandering lone goose also gets tired sometimes. When tired, it needs to find a tree or an eaves to quietly hatch a dream.Maybe the world is too disturbing, when you walk in a secluded jungle, you will not have the heart to disturb a sleepy bird, a meditating grass, or a white fox waiting for fate at the fork in the mountain.Su Manshu allowed himself to live under the eaves of an old house in a very short time. He knew that the distance was really far away, and he just wanted to stay for a short time and recall lightly. When I woke up from the dream, the lone goose fluttered its wings and flew high, shaking the fallen leaves all over the ground, and no one cleaned it.Su Manshu has always been like this, intoxicated in his own world, ignoring the rush of people passing by.When he was twenty-four years old, in February of early spring, he, Liu Shipei, and He Zhen went to Japan again.This time, it is no longer to pick up lost old dreams.He lives in the "Minbao" office at 2-chome 8th, Shin-Ogawa-cho, Ushigome District, Tokyo, and has close contacts with Zhang Taiyan and Chen Duxiu, and they feel like brothers.During this period, he translated the "Sanskrit Dictionary" and wrote a preface by himself. Zhang Taiyan, He Shipei, Chen Duxiu and others also wrote prefaces for it.

The cherry blossoms in Japan are really deadly beautiful. Walking through a splendid cherry blossom forest, it seems that you can meet the stories of your previous life.In fact, I didn't do it deliberately, but whenever Su Manshu came to Japan, it would always coincide with the season when the cherry blossoms bloomed.Being in the cherry blossoms, we can forget all the troubles of this island country, and only remember the style and beauty of the cherry blossoms.There is a kind of flower in the world called love flower, presumably cherry blossom is also a kind of love flower.It is poison, and after tasting it, it will flow down the blood and penetrate into the bone marrow, so that the poisoned person will never forget it in this life.Su Manshu can't remember whether he was poisoned in the previous life or in this life, he has a fateful attachment to cherry blossoms.

The lost emotions are like cherry blossoms falling by the water, I don't know where to go.As many people in this world forget you, so many people will remember you.When you can't completely forget a person or an event, you should keep it in a safe place and store it in a corner that is not easy to touch. When it is midnight, think about it quietly alone.This is the case with Su Manshu. During these days in Japan, he tried not to recall the past.The cherry blossoms are so cool, he doesn't want to easily disturb those souls that have gradually rested.But the cherry blossoms, those sultry cherry blossoms will always make him think about it again and again, like a Gu planted in his fate, it will happen once in a while, and the thoughts will become entangled.

These days, Su Manshu has picked up the brush again. This monk is called a painting monk by the world, and his paintings are also an indispensable theme in his life.Those flowing ink paintings are also like a dream, in which the four seasons can be exchanged and the sun and the moon can be reversed.In the bleak winter, you can see the warm spring and flowers blooming, and the sunny waterfront; you can walk into the painting in the noisy modern times, sit and watch the clouds rise with the ancients, toast and drink in the drunken maple forest mountains; you can also have a drink with someone in the painting The confidante promises love for the next life, even though waking up is just a dream.I finally understand why there are so many artists in this world who are obsessed with painting, books, photography, gold, stone and jade, etc., because what cannot be obtained in reality is found in calligraphy and painting, and in antiques.It is like a kind of compensation, using dreams to fill the void in the heart, only these still lifes will not care about you, you treat each other with sincerity, and it will return you with true affection.

In just one April, Su Manshu published paintings "Hu Hunting Picture", "The Picture of King Yue'e Visiting Cuiwei Pavilion in Chizhou", "Picture of Xu Zhongshan King Mochou Lake Boating", "Chen Yuanxiao's Picture of Strange Stone Wall", "Taiping Heavenly Kingdom Wing King Night "Xiaotu" was published in "Tianshu" in the supplement of "Min Bao".This is undoubtedly a great motivation for a painter.Perhaps the rebellious Su Manshu is not a celebrity, he disdains these fame, but no matter who he is, he hopes that his paintings can meet a bosom friend.In the vast sea of ​​people, there are so few people who understand their paintings and their lonely thoughts, and they are not responsible for the hard work in this process.

It is not easy to live in this world, wrapped in loneliness every day, floating around like a grain of dust, always looking for a destination and a confidant.Why do we believe in fate, and why we are moved? It is because we know that there will be people who overlap with our hearts when we come and go in this world.We can't be lonely forever, we need to be with each other, even if we can't be together, we must be with each other.I like this saying: "Just stay with me like this, and every day counts as long as I stay with you." In the unpredictable tomorrow, we can have the present, which is also a kind of weak satisfaction.

The wings of this lone goose seem to be more plump under the sun, only to feel that the sky is blue and its aspirations are like clouds.After that, he successively published the paintings "Nvwa Statue", "Lonely Mountain Picture", "Thinking of Autumn" and "Jianggan Xiao Temple Picture".For Su Manshu, this year seemed to be soaked in ink.The sun and the moon are in the brush, and the spring and autumn are in the painting. His life is no longer thin because of calligraphy and painting.The years go by without a trace, no matter how many stories you experience, they will all dissipate in the wind.But ink and wash will appear on paper and accompany you all your life, and the endless years after you leave the world.Maybe this is the so-called eternity. No matter how old the time is, as long as someone treasures it, the written words and drawn paintings will only be covered with a little dust, but they will not disappear because of the passing light.

People always need a sustenance in life, just like the sea needs the blue sky, the soil needs vegetation, and running water cannot do without falling flowers.Su Manshu seems to have more sustenance than others, and it is difficult for him to only love one thing and one person.Even so, his liking for him is all out of sincerity, even if he betrays him, it is not intentional.Existing in the human world, he has no way of knowing what will happen in the future or the people he meets.Many things are not from your original intention, because we can't control it at all, no one can be free and easy, and take it easy.Like misfortune, like fate, it will come to you inexplicably one day. You want to prevaricate and pretend that you have never met, but you don't know that it is too late to let go.

Just like Su Manshu thought that he could no longer be easily attracted to a certain woman, but when he met Xuehong, the daughter of the Spanish priest Zhuang Xiang, he was deeply attracted by her big beautiful and passionate eyes.Xuehong was also fascinated by this suave young monk, a legendary figure she had never met in her life.But when Zhuang Xiang asked Su Manshu, "Xuehong loves you very much, would you like to be my son-in-law", Su Manshu, like before, hid in the strong city wall he built, choked up and said, "This is wrong. Love, and want to be responsible for my own love, but it's hard to violate the Buddha's order." After finishing speaking, he just walked away like that.

Xuehong looked at his resolute back, and sighed: "Since you have decided to serve Buddha all your life, why do you still love me?" However, once Su Manshu decided to leave, he would not look back.The reason why he went to Japan several times to mourn Chrysanthemum was because Chrysanthemum had already passed away, and a soul would not be entangled in reality.He yearns for stability and expects to be dependent on each other, but he is afraid of being bound by emotions and cannot break free.This is Su Manshu. When he is passionate, he can smash all the hard ones, and when he is ruthless, he can freeze the soft ones.If you look at it with the eyes of ordinary people, his deeds are indeed incomprehensible.In fact, he can't even grasp this conflicting mood, he comes and goes, he just follows his own heart. No one knows, in fact, his heart is also very bitter, because every time he hurts others, he also cuts himself. When others are bleeding, he hides and heals himself. I don’t know if this is his own fault, but he has been Running, on the road.When I saw him, I was always in a hurry, sometimes draped in cassock and groaning lonely, sometimes dressed neatly and gracefully.Fate allowed Su Manshu to play several roles. He tried his best to do well, as if only in this way could he complete his unusual life.Life is endless, love is endless, after hurting Xuehong, Su Manshu will still hurt other women, even though it is unintentional, but he still can't control himself not to make these unintentional. This year, Su Manshu wanted to study Buddhism in India, but failed.In early autumn, he and Chen Duxiu went to visit his adoptive mother He Hexian several times.He has a deep affection for this Japanese mother. This affection, like the charcoal fire in the cold winter, the starlight at midnight, and the stones crossing the river, has supported him from the beginning to the end to complete the long journey of life.Along the way, there have been gains and losses, and no one can accurately calculate the amount of gains and losses.I only remember the places I have traveled, the people I have loved, and the dreams I have had.