Chapter 65 Chapter Sixty-Four is Over (No.348 - No.355)

I lived a miserable life for a month. I didn't go out to shoot the film, I just kept retouching the film every day, sending the film out, sending the assistant to the printing factory, and leaving everything to others. However, when sitting at home, I often still see the sofa and think of the moment when he pushed me away in the dark night. I couldn't understand those emotional eyes at the time, but when I recall them now, my heart hurts sharply. I don't hold a grudge. Because I understand him. When Zhang Ping said that Zhang Ji, a failed student, was famous all over the world, he said that winners and losers live in the present; after he showed me his panic about competition results in a small way on the top floor, he immediately said loudly, "You must continue to worship "I..." Such a Yu Huai, how could he let me expose his lies.

Lies have become inseparable from his dignity. The brighter the young Yu Huai in my memory is, the more this man who is living a lie makes my heart ache. I even mentioned Zhang San's recent situation, Li Si's new job, and Wang Wu's study abroad life in front of him... How cruel. Some things, I have never had, so I don't feel sorry. He was truly lost. I want to call β, although she is always out of tune, but if someone talks about it, at least it can relieve the anxiety in my heart. Only now do I realize how important old friends are. The past between me and Yu Huai, even if I remember it clearly, I can't talk about it with the new people I met today.No matter how pure and vivid the things of my youth are, if I tell them at this age, it will inevitably be ridiculous.

I was never afraid of others laughing at me since I was a child, but I was afraid that others would laugh at me and Yu Huai. But I ended up not calling. I don't want them to know about Yu Huai's current situation—this kind of helplessness is not a shame, nor is it a failure. I am not at all trying to maintain the image of the person I like for my own selfishness. no no. But I just don't want to. Yu Huai carefully avoided contacting anyone, and pretended that he had flown back to the United States to continue his studies. It was all ridiculous, but when I thought about it, I would roll over in pain.

After losing the third game, he came out of the shadows and said to me, Lin Yang can do it, why can't I do it all over again? Do you want to do it all over again?Yu Huai? Sometimes I would run to the gate of the first city hospital at night, and then stop at the gate of the ward; sometimes I would sit up suddenly from the bed, racking my brains to be nice to him, racking my brains until I felt the kindness he had treated me back then. It's not enough to pay back. But I know he doesn't need it. I didn't want to use text messages and phone calls to force him to shut down his mobile phone number, so I didn't look for him.

He was teased by fate again and again, tried his best to get his life back on track again and again, and then lost to the capricious hands of fate again and again. So, I chose to let him live in his own "America". But is this really what he wants? I didn't rest during the eleventh day, because the customer who flew from Beijing to take wedding photos with my assistant had already arrived in our city. The assistant said, they are going to Zhenhua to shoot a scene, and let me take a look together and talk while watching. I haven't been back to Zhenhua for seven years, and this couple is so fucking annoying.If it weren't for the assistant who said that he charged a high price and the other party was cheerful and sympathetic, I wouldn't serve him.

I stood listlessly at the gate of Zhenhua. Fortunately, I was only filming the scene. If I were to shoot a film today, I would probably die on the playground. The ochre-colored gate was repaired just a year before we entered school, and it has been exactly ten years now. After the erosion of wind, frost, rain and snow, the color has faded, and it looks much better than before. I understand what it feels like to be a lifetime away.When I stood at the gate for the first time ten years ago, I stared at it excitedly and nervously for a long time. At that time, I was Geng Geng, and I didn't know Yu Huai yet.

"Geng Geng? It's been a long time." I turned my head, and there was a somewhat familiar woman standing in front of me, with fair skin, charming long hair, and slender eyebrows. "You look kind of nice." I asked with a smile. "Of course. I'm Luo Zhi." I froze. "Senior Luo Zhi?! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh why didn't you say it on the phone!" She put her hands behind her back and looked at me with a smile on my face, screaming wildly at the school gate, with that scheming look, the feeling I had back then was back. "Are you married? You took wedding photos? Who? Who married you hahaha, so lucky!"

"I think he's very lucky, too," she nodded primly, making me laugh, "and I think you might know him." She waved across the road and smiled brightly. I looked in that direction, and saw a tall boy holding three bottles of water, crossing the zebra crossing and running towards us. When he saw Luo Zhi waving, he instantly burst into an incomparably bright smile. It's Sheng Huainan. It was Sheng Huainan who "Luo Zhi loves Sheng Huainan, nobody knows". I stood there, almost forgetting to breathe. I looked at Sheng Huainan and didn't speak for a long time, just staring at him, completely underestimated him.

Naturally, Luo Zhi would not know that I had seen that sentence on the wall before. "You wouldn't treat other elementary school girls before..." Luo Zhi turned her head and said to Sheng Huainan with an ugly expression. "Absolutely not... right?" Sheng Huainan scratched his head, but was pinched severely by Luo Zhi.He laughed, took her into his arms, hugged her from behind, and rested his chin on the top of her head. Before the fucking father can react, you guys show off your affection, is there any law? ! "Did you come here on purpose to show off to me?" I glared at Luo Zhi.

Luo Zhi nodded with a sunny face. "Yeah." She said with a smile. Love can change a person in this way.That Luo Zhi, who always speaks with meaning, and the melancholy senior who always hides secrets, can smile so frankly at this moment, which surprises me more than her legendary dream come true. "Why are you staring at him?" Luo Zhi asked me, but she tilted her head to look at Sheng Huainan who had turned his back in embarrassment. I have no idea. Maybe it's because I believed so much when I was young, the world will treat us well, and the first person I fell in love with when I was young will definitely be together.

I didn't do it, Simple didn't do it, and Beta didn't do it. But Luo Zhi did it. I have always believed in love.Now the world uses them to prove that I was right. I don't know exactly how many untold stories and twists and turns there were along the way, but she made it through. Not all persistence bears fruit, but there are always some persistence that can grow a hundred thousand blooming roses from an inch of frozen land. As a cowardly me, I only deserve to stand by and silently watch a flower that has nothing to do with me. Luo Zhi and Sheng Huainan flew back from Beijing to take photos this time.They originally planned to find a friend to shoot by themselves, but the result of the shooting was terrible.Her idea is to go back to the high school where the two met to take pictures, which fits well with the style of taking photos in my studio. She read a lot of recommended posts on the Internet, and she took a fancy to my studio at first glance. After another look, The boss is called Geng Geng. I naturally want to use the best skills. I accompanied them around the school for a long time.When they choose the location, I naturally have to ask questions, and each question is connected in series to form the skeleton of a love. Certain parts are implicitly consistent with what I know. For example, her carefully written exam compositions are all for him to see in the excellent composition commentary class one day. But he didn't read any of them. I listened to Luo Zhi casually telling me all the silly things she did for that long secret love, and I couldn't help smiling. "It's great, these words can be said with such an attitude now, it's really a winner and a loser." I said. "Winner and loser?" Sheng Huainan, who was walking in front, suddenly turned to look at me. Don't be like this, when I get old, I still blush like a little girl. "Yeah," Luo Zhi noticed it keenly, and held back a smile to help me out, "For example, now you are mine, and the secrets that were so unspeakable before can now be told as fun. Who said the result is not important .” Who said results don't matter. Because of the fruition of cultivation, Luo Zhi's secret and sour thoughts back then can be spread out in the sunlight of the corridor at noon and easily uttered. and I? So many stories that happened under the sun have become unspeakable secrets. I was in a daze when Luo Zhi suddenly remembered something, and turned to me and asked, "By the way, where is your deskmate? Where is it now?" I was unprepared and speechless. "She's at the same table?" Sheng Huainan asked. "Well," Luo Zhi's every word seemed to echo in my ears, "their two names are very interesting, they are connected together, they just happen to be Geng Geng Yu Huai." Sheng Huainan raised his eyebrows in surprise.Luo Zhi noticed it, and hurriedly asked, "You know him?" Sheng Huainan nodded: "Of course." He paused for a while, as if he couldn't bear to continue talking. "Yes," I took the conversation, and said with a smile, "Yu Huai admired you very much when he was in school, and was so influenced by you that he never recited classical Chinese." What a weird scene.I never dreamed in high school that one day I would come to take wedding photos of the senior Yu Huai admired and the senior sister I liked, and casually chat with them about the past. If we go back in time, at that time, they didn't know each other, but we were so close. I almost laughed out loud. You said, is this a turn of events? I already knew it in my mind, and I agreed with them on some specific matters, and confirmed the time with the school, and I can rent the venue this Saturday. After they left, I walked around the school alone. There are many places you feel afraid to go for fear of being overwhelmed by memories, but they are actually holes you dug for yourself. Before you go, you are moved by yourself. Just like Zhenhua to me. I hadn't been back in seven years, and I really had to, and I didn't feel like it. This is just a school. Yes, I listened to Jian Jian and β singing a whole Jolin Tsai album in the stadium stands, but now Jolin has transformed into an acrobat who can hold concerts; I also played a heroic volleyball player on the playground, Now I have to eat a whole bottle of high-calcium tablets in the middle of the cap to climb a flight of stairs, but I can't guarantee that it will be easy to go up to the fifth floor. Unrecognizable. It turns out that the classroom of our fifth class now has the sign of the second and third class of high school.I peeked at the position of Yu Huai and me from the window of the back door, just as the curtains floated up, covering the two tables. Just because of getting along for three years.I tell myself. It's not love to look extra good because you didn't get it.I repeated it in my mind over and over again. Wake up, Geng Geng. Thinking about it this way, I suddenly felt that there was nothing difficult to face. Coming out of Zhenhua, I took a taxi and went straight to the Municipal First Hospital. Before entering the hospital, I saw Yu Huai's tall back from a distance in the yard, swaying unsteadily, conspicuous among the crowd.He was carrying a travel bag that probably contained his mother's change of clothes. I shouted loudly: "Yu Huai." He must have recognized my voice.Otherwise, why is it so stiff when stopping. Yu Huai refused my offer of help. "I decided not to study for a doctorate. I can get a master's degree halfway through this major, and it's not a loss. If I come back to work like this, I will have a good way out. The difficulties are only temporary, so don't worry." He smiled at me gratefully, his tone was simple and firm without any hint of pretentiousness. "My mother's illness can no longer be replaced by a kidney transplant, so I can only continue to do dialysis like this, one week at a time. It's uncomfortable, but it's okay to treat it as eating and sleeping? People have to eat every day, and if they don't eat It’s the same thing as doing dialysis, just think about it. When I work, my dad won’t have to support the whole family alone, which can relieve a lot.” That proud and sharp boy back then will one day speak to me so peacefully.Never hear the grand ambition of idealism again. "When I gave up Tsinghua University, I was a bit unwilling. But this time I didn't feel particularly uncomfortable. It was too naive to study physics all the way to Ph.D. and go to the United States to do scientific research. It's not my bad luck, but my high school. I have always been unrealistic and have never considered the pressure of reality. If you think that I am at this age and still can't think about it because of these things, then you are too underestimating me." He smiled wider. Also farther away from me. We sat on the bench, under the strong sunlight, and I saw a little wrinkle around his eyes when he smiled. Because he was thin, his facial features were extraordinarily three-dimensional, stretched a lot more than when he was a boy, and he already had the outline of a mature man. The so-called being let go by time is just my illusion. We all change. He left me speechless. "I think you are really good now," Yu Huai said. "It's much better than when you were in school. At that time, I was worried about you. It's lucky that you can persevere. It's good now, I I'm happy for you, you... are really good, I feel like I can't hold my head up when I face you. There is nothing to be reluctant about life in the United States. One day, I didn’t return to the apartment until eleven o’clock in the evening. I was so tired that I didn’t want to talk or move, so I ate the leftovers made by Lin Yang and the others in my room, and watched PPS while eating. Really,” he laughed, “watched in the United States PPS, I feel ridiculous when I think about it. I really don’t want to part with it. I will still be confused if I go on, you see, now the two of us are upside down.” Don't talk anymore, don't talk anymore. I was suddenly afraid to look at him. I don't know what the overwhelming loss in my heart is. "You don't mind," I heard my own cold voice, "I ran here to find you on my own initiative, not to embarrass you." "I know," Yu Huai said, "this is a hurdle in my heart. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I want to see you still worse than me, worship me, and I'll be happy in my heart. I'm not that kind of person .” Of course I know who you are! I bit my lip, wondering where this nondescript conversation was going.We spread out everything like adults like this. It took two high school students a week to finish talking intermittently. The confession was completed in minutes. Doriso, how crisp. "At your house that night... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you by saying those words. Maybe when I face you, I still have a sense of gap. It will be difficult to speak, and things will become bad. See When it comes to you, I will feel that my previous life has come back, and I am even more incompetent and lacking energy. So I will rebound very badly, so don’t be angry with me.” I know, I know all of this, Yu Huai, can you not say it so calmly? I can seem to see the ground growing between the two of us, pulling this bench longer and further away. "Actually... I went to look for you. In Beijing." He said suddenly. I heard this in a daze, and suddenly turned to look at him. Yu Huai watched me speak the whole time, with a very frank, responsible, and indifferent look. After saying this, when I turned my head to look at him, he avoided my gaze. "When I just decided not to go to Tsinghua University, I felt very uncomfortable. It would be a lie to say that I didn't feel uncomfortable. I can still recall the feeling. I survived the start of Tsinghua University at home, and it was better, just like It was as if the guillotine on the guillotine had finally come down, and I no longer panicked. I have been studying here for more than half a year, and I have accepted the reality. I remembered the bastard things like running away without a trace and changing my mobile phone number. I feel so ashamed, I have to go to Beijing to give you an explanation." "I asked Xu Yanliang secretly about you. Even Xu Yanliang didn't know that I didn't go to Tsinghua at all. I called your dormitory, and they said you were not there, so I waited downstairs until it was almost dawn, look Until you hold a boy's hand and come back from roller skating with a group of people." I instinctively wanted to explain, but held back. Close your eyes and continue listening to him. "You look happy. I think that's enough." I finally interrupted him: "How do you know I'm happy? Does smiling mean happiness?" He suddenly patted my head, the temperature of his hand was warmer than the sun. "Geng Geng, I don't sit next to you anymore, and I can't do anything for you anymore. The previous life is over, we are not at the same table anymore, I am not as good as Yu Huai before, but you are better than when you were in high school. Don't be so stubborn, you... it's all over." Don't be so stubborn. I opened my eyes and saw him stand up and say goodbye. "Yu Huai?" "what?" "Did you like me before?" He looked at me tenderly, chuckled, lowered his head and scratched the back of his head, like a seventeen-year-old high school student. That's right, high school student Yu Huai will answer the questions that high school student Geng Geng wanted to ask. After a long time, Yu Huai nodded slightly. I burst into tears instantly. "I don't know when it started. Life is like a running account. When I realized it, I didn't know what was going on." He said with a smile. "what about now?" He didn't answer, but looked at me and asked, "What about you? What about you now? Do you know?" do i know. He didn't give me time to think, turned around and left in a hurry.