Chapter 144 Marriage
Talking about Great Literati in the Republic of China: Those Masters of Thought
民国文林
3352Words
2018-03-16
Liang Shuming has always been admiring the Buddhist thought of birth, he has been a vegetarian for many years, and he still does not marry a wife when he is nearly thirty.Liang's father repeatedly pressed him, but Liang Shuming refused without any room for negotiation.
On November 9, 1918, Liang Ji, Liang Shuming's father, was fully dressed and jumped into Beijing's Jingye Lake (now Jishuitan) with helplessness towards the world on a fresh and quiet morning.His father's suicide greatly stimulated Liang Shuming, who was determined to seek refuge from the world through Buddhism.Coupled with the tragic situation of warlords burning, killing, looting, and poisoning people when passing through Hunan, Liang Shuming sighed generously in Beijing, "I am not as good as the common people", and in May 1921, he announced that he would devote himself to Confucianism. , into the secular life.So there was Liang Shuming's first marriage.However, Liang Shuming believed that for him, seeking the happiness of marriage was out of a strict moral responsibility.Liang Shuming said in a letter to his friends that he married a wife out of love for virtue rather than lust.
Once Liang Shuming talked about this with his friend Wu Boyong. Wu Boyong asked him about his conditions for choosing a wife. Liang Shuming said: "I don't care about age, appearance, and family background. I hope to find a lenient and kind person. However, just It seems that it is difficult to make a partner with me who is lenient and lacks extraordinary interest. Therefore, I am looking for someone who is tolerant and courageous. Naturally, this is not easy to come by. If there is a talent roughly similar to this, it does not matter if you are illiterate. "
Wu Boyong couldn't help showing joy: "If this is really possible, then I can introduce you to a good one now." It turned out that Mrs. Wu Boyong's sister, Huang Jingxian, was 28 years old and unmarried. Liang Shuming asked to meet first, and Wu Boyong It is said that the Huang family is conservative, so we have to try to carry it out.At that decisive meeting, Huang Jingxian's group dressed very out of fashion, and looked like a man. Standing with his sister, Mrs. Wu, he looked older than her sister.Liang Shuming said: "Where a woman can attract a man, she has nothing."
However, the marriage was fixed immediately.The Liang family was very surprised at such an easy engagement.Of course, according to Liang Shuming's self-cultivation, it is not impossible to treat such a big event without some consideration.He later stated bluntly in the article "Mrs. Huang Jingxian in the Mourning Room": "In fact, I have thought about it. My first thought: I probably won't choose my own marriage from the girlfriends I have made friends with. I must rely on others to pay attention; others There are many people who are eager to help me, from my own brothers and sisters to the elders and relatives near and far, but it is not as good as my mentors and friends who know me well. I asked myself, if I really pay attention to the conditions of the endowment of temperament, I must trust the teachers and friends; Among friends, what Wu Boyong said is especially worthy of consideration. Second, I think: what Wu Boyong said is absolutely true to him, and I can believe it. If his observation ability is more reliable than the number, then this woman will also Very desirable..."
The year they got engaged, the two got married.Due to cultural differences, Liang Shuming and Huang Jingxian had a dull relationship and seldom communicated spiritually.Liang Shuming said that although she had never read a book, she could read.Liang and Huang didn't get along well in the first few years after their marriage, but they developed love more and more as time went on, which belongs to the typical "marriage first and then love".Because Liang Shuming still wanted a daughter after having his second son, Huang Jingxian became pregnant again after two miscarriages, and finally died of "placenta previa" dystocia. Liang Shuming was in great pain.
When Liang Shuming talked about Huang Jingxian, he said: "I like to study and use my thoughts, but she reads too little, can't use her thoughts, and can't talk a lot. The two people often don't talk about each other in consciousness. Therefore, within ten years after marriage, each other The relationship is not very good." But as time went by, the mutual running-in deepened, and after having recognized and understood, Liang Shuming began to realize the advantages of his wife, "Jingxian's personality is what I know in my mind. It seems that she can be described as 'gang-shuang'." Not only seeing his wife's character of integrity and loyalty, but also from his wife's dedication to doing housework silently, I can feel the bond between husband and wife. "After 14 years of marriage, I have learned about life and experienced life. And from her diligence and thrift, I was able to live a very simple life, so that I can advance and retreat freely in society, do not need to ask for money to support my family, and concentrate on my social movement "Especially in the four years before Huang's death, the relationship between the husband and wife became stronger.Liang Shuming recalled this period of life with deep affection in "Mrs. Huang Jingxian in the Mourning Room": "I am proud of Jingxian, and I gave birth to two more children. The so-called happiness of the family, family, and father and son are quite familiar with this taste. For the death of his wife, Liang Shuming felt very sad: "Now that Jingxian died, the family seems to be broken, and the loved ones who were lost suddenly, woohoo! How can I not be in pain! How can I not be in pain!" In order to mourn the deceased wife , Liang Shuming also wrote a poem to commemorate.
After his wife died, Liang Shuming decided not to remarry in the future. "I will never remarry from now on, not to commemorate her kindness, to show my loyalty, but not to spoil the opportunity she left for me."
"It's a great misfortune to be widowed in middle age." In his later years, Liang Shuming told the American scholar Ai Kai when talking about the death of his first wife, she was a very good person, and her death was a very sad thing.
Liang Shuming was widowed in his middle age. Later, someone introduced his wife to him, but he refused. He was determined not to marry.Even he himself did not expect that in 1943 he would continue the string. In 1943, Liang Shuming took refuge in Guilin from Hong Kong occupied by the Japanese army. Zeng Zuozhong and his wife mediated and married an old lady.This year, Liang Shuming was 50 years old.Guilin is full of rumors that Liang Zheng grew a beard and fell in love with an old maid, Chen Shufen, in order to be more manly in front of his lover. Even if a beard cannot add masculinity, it can also add elegance to a philosopher.It is very interesting that Ms. Chen Shufen was 47 years old at the time, but Yuelao concealed Ms. Chen's real age when she met her, saying she was 40 years old.Liang's love for Chen became a sensational news in Guangxi during the Anti-Japanese War.So in 1944, Liang Shuming had a second marriage.Liang shaved again at the wedding. Liang said: "An old groom always shaves before the wedding." honor".
On January 23, 1944, Liang Shuming and Ms. Chen Shufen held a traditional wedding at a friend’s home in Guilin. Liang and Chen’s wedding was quite a grand occasion, with celebrities from all walks of life in Guilin gathered together. It is said that Liang Shuming received more than 50,000 yuan in gift money.The combined age of the couple is about a hundred years old.Someone congratulated them with "Hundred Years of Harmony", which seemed to be mocking.Ms. Chen graduated from Peking University. A classmate of the bride’s Peking University gave them a pair of congratulatory couplets for their wedding. The last six characters of the first couplet were “Master changed to brother-in-law”, and the last six characters of the second couplet were “Classmates became teachers’ wives”. .Ms. Chen graduated from a normal university and has been teaching in middle schools and normal schools.
Liang Shuming first spoke at the celebration ceremony: "Marriage is an important thing in life. We have to consult Mr. Long Jizhi, who has rich life experience and is highly respected." So, Mr. Long Jizhi stroked his gray beard He made a high-level discussion on the meaning of marriage by citing classics.Mr. Li Jishen, an old friend of Liang Shuming, also gave a congratulatory speech.Among the guests, Bai Pengfei, a writer, spoke loudly and humorously.He said: "Mr. Liang was originally from Guilin,...he returned to his hometown after the war of resistance against Japan began. But he has no family in Guilin, and he has no family, so why go home. The best thing is to start a family. An open heart is naturally easily betrayed. Ms. Chen came out of the cabinet very late, because she had been marrying a philosopher...so she took advantage of the situation." As soon as the words were finished, everyone burst into laughter.
At the request of the guests, Liang Shuming happily talked about their love process. "Now, I've heard that being in love costs a lot of money, eating out, going to the movies, going to the theater, etc. But I haven't spent a penny. I'm ashamed to talk about it, but it's true that I don't even go for a walk. Yes. I also wrote to her and asked her to go for a walk by the river in Jingshan Village when the weather is good. But it happened to be cloudy and light rain that day. Will she come as promised? I hesitated for a while and took I took the umbrella and went out. As I expected, I met her on the way. Because it was still raining, we still couldn’t go for a walk. So we finally just sat in the small pavilion by the roadside for a while.” The love story is told in detail It was moving and attracted warm applause and laughter from the guests and friends.After telling the love story, Liang Shuming also sang a part of Doulton from the Peking opera "Luo Ma Lake" for the first time: "Huang Tianba, so bold, how dare he ride alone to explore the mountains..."
There was an article that said that the wedding ceremony was very lively and the ceremony could not be over for a while, but it is not good to let everyone down, so Liang Shuming stood up and said that he likes to listen to the Peking opera "Stealing the Royal Horse". He got up and said, " Farewell"——(prolonged sound), took the opportunity to leave, and everyone left.
Chen Shufen is a graduate of Beijing Normal University. She is 6 years younger than Liang Shuming. She has a gentle temperament and well-cultivated family. She not only makes Liang Shuming have a comfortable backyard, but also dyes his cold and arrogant personality with strong warm colors, giving him a relaxed and happy side. .After Liang Shuming got married to Ms. Chen Shufen, she changed her serious and staid character, and since then she has been chatting and laughing happily, with a lot of humor.But it is also said that Ms. Chen has a strong personality and a bad temper. After becoming Liang Shuming's wife, she sometimes does not talk about etiquette in public, which embarrasses Liang Shuming.The two have been living in discord. When the "storm" came in 1966, Liang Shuming said that she was beaten very badly by the Red Guards because of her strong personality.So Liang Shuming compared the two wives in his later years, and missed his first wife even more. When he was an octogenarian, he wrote "Remembrance of His First Wife Huang Jingxian", thinking that "only she is worthy of being his wife".
The author believes that it is correct to say that Ms. Chen has a violent personality.Liang Shuming delivered a speech at a junior's wedding, to the effect that husband and wife should respect each other like a guest, he used himself as an example, pointed to his wife and said: "Like when I got married, I was very respectful to her, and she was very humble to me. Sometimes I stay up late at night because I am preparing for a lecture, and she also stays with me. If I always say thank you to make tea for me, she will be polite. Because respect is relative and balanced..." At this time, her wife He interrupted her with a loud voice: "What nonsense! No matter what you put into your mouth, it becomes philosophy!..." Liang was so embarrassed that he had to stop and go back to his seat.
Ms. Chen Shufen suffered from hysteria in her later years and died in 1979.
When Liang Shuming's disciple Hu Yinghan got married, Liang Shuming presented it with a banner: "Men and women live in a room, Westerners say love, Chinese people respect, and respect means love for a long time." This can be regarded as Liang Shuming's view on marriage. "Respect" is the concept of traditional Chinese etiquette and culture. "Respect" has the connotation of equality between husband and wife, raising the eyebrows together, and loving each other.