Chapter 10 Kong Xiangming

With a stable family environment and no worries, it is not easy to be irritable, and it is easy to perform at your level. Kong Xiangming and I have known each other since 1965. At that time, as a representative of Chengdu and I as a representative of Beijing, we participated in the National Children’s Go Competition held in Chengdu. She was ten years old and I was thirteen years old. teenage years. In 1973, the National Sports Commission established a Go training team, and she and I were both called to the team, so she came to Beijing, and we began to get along day and night.At this time, she had already turned into an eighteen-year-old girl, and I was also twenty-one, which is the so-called youth.Because we have known each other in the past, we have a very good relationship. We often play chess together and talk about scriptures. The strange thing is that I have never thought about other aspects, and I only regard her as a very good little junior sister.

In 1973, our training team went to Chengdu for a tournament tour and met many girls who played chess in Sichuan.At that time, although I had just returned to Beijing from the farm and hadn’t yet entered the role of a professional chess player, there was a large group of young people with high chess skills, and they were all willing to learn chess from me. In the process of learning chess, three girls launched a fierce attack on me at the same time.One of them, surnamed He, was the daughter of a governor. I had the best impression of her, and our relationship quickly developed to a fever pitch.I once told Luo Jianwen that my life might be handed over to her.I have been to her house, and she has also been to my house. The parents of both parties are very satisfied and think it is safe.

But at this moment the situation suddenly changed.Xiaohe, like me, likes to play cards. It is said that it is a good thing to have common hobbies, but she is very strong. During the national competition in Anhui in 1976, several members of our Go team were playing cards together. She and I were partners. We had a violent conflict because of the card game. After calming down, I realized that we were both too strong and did not know how to give in to each other. , living together in the future will definitely not be happy, so I decided to break up with her very rationally. Later she approached me hoping to save her, but I said it was impossible.I didn't tell her why, just said we were totally inappropriate.At that time, after the Japanese praised me as "Nie Xuanfeng", everyone in the Go team thought that my status had changed and I was dumped. It was never explained.

Things changed a few months later, and people who had condemned me in the past felt that they understood me, and maybe someone revealed the truth.Later Xiaohe went to Canada and got married there.I sincerely wish her happiness. After breaking up with Xiaohe, many people introduced me to girlfriends. Once, they introduced a dozen of them to me in a day, which made me dazzled. None of them made it, and I didn't even remember the name. During this period, the one who impressed me the most was a girl named Xiaobai, whose father was a cadre of the State Sports Commission.She is very kind to me, and she is also very proactive. She always comes to our dormitory to look for me at night.I don't think she's particularly good, and I don't think she's bad. I just think she can date and give it a try.At that time I was taking Ma Xiaochun. He was still very young, only fourteen years old, and he didn't know much about the relationship between men and women. No, that's why Xiaobai really hates Ma Xiaochun.During my father's hospitalization, Xiaobai took the initiative to visit my father in the hospital, and I also visited her house several times.

After dating for a period of time, I felt that we were not suitable, and both my father and my sister objected, so I wanted to break up with her, but I didn't know how to tell her, and I didn't dare to say it.I took Hua Yigang together and invited Xiaobai to eat roast duck. After dinner, I found a fault and slipped away, and asked Hua Yigang to tell her no.Later, Hua Yigang told me that he had done such a bad thing in his life. This incident hit Xiaobai very hard. Within a month, she married a Japanese, and then went to Japan.Later, I ran into her twice on the plane and talked with her, but I didn't feel anything, unlike Zhang Ya.

Another time, I met Zhou Siguan, an old man in the Great Hall of the People. He was a member of the Standing Committee of the Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference. He had a very good relationship with Premier Zhou and had a high prestige among democrats.He also wants to help me introduce a girlfriend and promise to satisfy me, at least 90%.I couldn't refuse, so I came to his house as promised. As soon as I walked into the living room, I saw a girl sitting on the sofa, she was really pretty.Mr. Zhou walked away after introducing us, and we chatted in the living room.At first she gave me a good impression, but after chatting for a while, I found that she basically didn't understand all the topics with knowledge. She was only interested in knowing famous people and how much money she made. , the quality is not high.I have no desire to see her again.I didn't quite understand it at the time. Under normal circumstances, we should leave early when we talked about this kind of situation, but I talked with her until two or three o'clock in the night. Spent the night on the couch.Seeing that we had talked for so long, Mr. Zhou thought it was done.

My father also introduced me to the daughter of an old colleague in their unit. This was the most difficult thing to do. He asked me how I was doing. I could only say that it was not bad, but in fact it was not good at all.She is really nice, she can speak quite well, and she is also very knowledgeable. She can't find faults in all aspects, but she just doesn't feel it. This is the most fatal point, but I am embarrassed to say it.I took a negative attitude, and she just let it go after she felt it. After all of them failed, my marriage became a "big problem". In 1979, when the National Go Team visited Japan for a game, Kong Xiangming and I both went.In a gathering with Japanese chess players, everyone joked with each other. A Japanese chess player said that Chen Jiarui was interested in Kong Xiangming.Chen Jiarui was originally a seven-dan chess player in my country, but he went to Japan later, and he also came that day.At this time, one of our chess players immediately retorted, you are talking nonsense, Kong Xiangming has already been with Nie Weiping, and it is impossible for him to be with Chen Jiarui.

I hadn't seriously considered this question at first, but I suddenly raised it in front of so many people, and it seemed very sensitive, and I suddenly found that Xiao Kong was really good to me.It's a bit like our chess players playing chess. Sometimes it takes a long test, and a long test lasts an hour or two, but if you make up your mind, you can solve it with a "snap".My marriage has been "long-tested" for several years without any results, and it was suddenly exposed on that accidental occasion.I asked half-jokingly, is this true?I was trying to kick the ball to Xiaokong.Under the eyes of everyone, Xiao Kong said coyly, maybe it was true.She answered in a subtle, unspoken way, but I knew right away that it was true.

After returning to Beijing, we got married very quickly. It was really "I searched for her thousands of times in the crowd, but when I looked back, that person was in a dimly lit place". Xiao Kong helped me a lot in Go, especially encouraged me mentally.Before the group arena, she encouraged me to dare to beat the top Japanese players. At that time, Chinese chess players had no record of defeating the top Japanese players.I said that even if I can't do it, there are still my students behind me.She said no, when you can accomplish something, why do you want to leave it to future generations? !She also said that you have the ability to play chess well, and you can win any kind of Japanese.

These words are really unforgettable to me, and the scene when she said them is still vivid in my memory.The actual combat later also proved that her words were correct. I defeated all the top Japanese chess players in active service and did what I should do. Behind my success, there is a lot of credit for Xiaokong. In 1981, when our son was born, I was not in Beijing at that time, and was participating in a national competition in other places. According to the expected date of delivery, I knew that she had already given birth, but communication was still very backward at that time, and it was difficult to make long-distance calls.When I got back to Beijing, I called my family and asked if it was my son or my daughter.At that time, I planned that if it was a son, I would rush back immediately, and if it was a daughter, I would take a shower and tidy up before going back.To be honest, I like sons, and I have a bit of patriarchal feudal consciousness.

My younger brother answered the phone, he told me it was my son, I put down the phone and went back immediately.When I entered the room, Xiao Kong was lying on the bed with her son beside her.When I first saw him, I couldn't believe that this was my son. He was very small, very small, and very cute.I picked him up, feeling very proud.I named him Nie Yuncong, which means horse in the clouds. Reflecting on our relationship after the divorce, I think there is one step that is the biggest "missing calculation".We have a common language in business, which is undeniable; in family life, she is also very capable, a good housekeeper, and caring for people, these are her great strengths.What we "missed" is their personalities, or hobbies.Let's put it this way, except for Go, our interests and hobbies are completely opposite. As friends, it doesn't matter, but as a husband and wife, the problem is serious. For example, I like to play bridge, and sometimes I invite people to play at home.Xiao Kong is extremely disgusted with playing cards. It is not a big problem in the short term, but he cannot tolerate it in the long run.I had no other choice, so I went out to fight and came back very late.She knew that I was going to play cards and asked why she hadn't come back for so long, which annoyed me.She also particularly hated me playing cards with female players, and thought that my playing cards was fake, and the association with those women was real, and what I said was out of line, which also made me unbearable.Playing bridge is originally a good hobby, and it is also a kind of adjustment for me. What's wrong?But she was against it.That's how people are, the more you don't let me hit you, the more you hit women, deliberately let her watch.We're deadlocked on the poker thing. In addition, I also like football. It can be said that I like all competitions.She didn't like it either, and didn't look at it at all.I told her many times that you also watch a football game with me, but she never gave me this face. It was not until our relationship was in crisis that she accompanied me to watch a game outside. At that time, both of us were working hard. Try to do better, but the actual result is useless. On the contrary, I have no interest in figure skating, synchronized swimming, rhythmic gymnastics, concerts, etc., which she likes.I remember that I accompanied her to a concert, and I was really uncomfortable and extremely painful. Although I stayed with her, I thought I would never do such a thing next time.I think the biggest mistake is getting married too hastily. It would be nice if we could talk more and get in touch for a while. For a while, the newspapers vigorously publicized what happened to our husband and wife, and called Kong Xiangming a "good wife".I remember that the term "virtuous wife" was coined at that time.I read the newspaper so badly, because it was the most dangerous time for our relationship, and I didn't dare to move.Deng Xiaoping invited her to dinner, took a special train, and said what about us Sichuan girls, how dare I move!I have always taken care of Mr. Deng, so I just maintained it. Kong Xiangming is a wonderful person as a friend, and she herself has won the national women's championship, but her personality is too strong, and it is not suitable for me as a wife.Once, in a public place, when someone introduced her, she said that this was Nie Weiping's wife. She immediately stood up and corrected: I have my own name, and my name is Kong Xiangming.Made me very embarrassed.This kind of thing happened more than once, and it obviously made people feel that our relationship is not good. Then we got into fights, often before I went out to a big game, and she was going to pick a fight.For example, competing with Lin Haifeng for the "Fujitsu" championship, and competing for the "Yingshi Cup" with Cao Xunxuan... I asked if I could stop arguing and go out to compete immediately, and it was to compete for the world championship.I'm not complaining that I lost because of her, I'm saying that having a good mood before the game is at least a favorable factor. With a stable family environment and no worries, it is not easy to be irritable, and it is easy to perform at your level.During the group arena, I was very calm in my heart, so I performed very well. The last rift between me and Kong Xiangming was when I met Wang Jing. Before that, Kong Xiangming kept asking for divorce, but I didn't agree.First of all, the influence was too bad. At that time, the newspapers were promoting our "model couple". Secondly, the son would of course belong to her. I couldn't accept this, so I kept it.Later, Wang Jing became pregnant and refused to abort the child, so the situation took a turn for the worse. I had no choice but to formally ask her for a divorce. Xiao Kong had already been mentally prepared for this, and accepted it calmly.She offered to take her son away and help them make arrangements to go to Japan.This is what it should be, and I will do it naturally if she doesn't tell me.Xiao Kong is a very strong person, and she didn't ask for anything financially. Even the prize money from the competition at that time was not much, but it was still important to them. She didn't want it, and returned it to me.After their mother and son arrived in Japan, I tried to make better arrangements for them through my friends in Japan. On the day of the divorce procedure, we took our son with us. He was ten years old at the time, and he cried loudly in the office, refusing to let us leave.I don't want to, I don't want to!I really can't help it, I feel very conflicted.In the matter of my divorce, I was almost unanimously opposed by my relatives and friends, and no one wanted me to leave.My mother scolded me, how can you do this? !She was orthodox, and she spoke harshly.Deng Pufang specifically sent me to his home, criticized me for being too indiscreet, and refused to agree to my divorce.Wu Shaozu, Li Furong and other my immediate superiors and friends came to talk to me and do work.Although Chairman Wan Li didn't say it clearly, he didn't take it seriously.Jiang Kun is the best, as soon as we met, he said, so you are human too!We all thought you were not a human being but a saint!The words are humorous but not lacking in sarcasm.There were even more people scolding me in society, which put a lot of pressure on me. I couldn't help it at the time. It was a bit like playing chess. If you make a wrong move, every step is wrong.Xiao Kong has a lot of faults. In fact, I can forgive her in my heart. After all, she has been of great help to my career, and she has made a huge sacrifice for it.Even if there is no deep relationship between us in the future, I think we can still endure it for her, for my son, and just make do with it.How many makeshift couples are there in this world!But there was really no way at that time, what about the child in Wang Jing's belly?She is determined not to fight.I can't just throw my hands away and deny this account. I was really in panic all day long, I didn't know what to do every day, and the competition was a mess, but Wang Jing's belly was getting bigger and bigger every day. What's annoying, what annoying!Later I thought, as a man, I should be responsible for my actions, for Wang Jing, and for that unborn child. I had only one way to get divorced. After Xiao Kong and I divorced, Cong Cong has been studying chess with her in Japan, and she later changed his name to Kong Lingwen.He never went to my house when he came back to Beijing, and he never met Wang Jing. He always came to look for me at the Chess Academy, and I didn't talk to him about my younger brother for fear of offending him.He told me that he wanted to come back to learn chess, and I said that I told your mother that I hope you can come back to learn chess, the domestic conditions will be better and you can improve quickly.His current chess skills are not good enough. He has not entered the ranks in Japan at the age of sixteen. If he is a national player in China.It's a pity that he can't inherit my career, but there is no son of a chess player who can inherit his own, and Fujisawa Hideyuki's son is not good enough. If he can do it, it will be a miracle.But I still hope that he will come back and train him well.It's not that Xiao Kong doesn't let him come back, it's the rules of the Japanese chess world that don't let him come back, he can come back after entering the stage. In 1998, Kong Lingwen entered the first stage in Japan. Not long ago, CCTV also broadcast a film called "Lifetime", which introduced the life experiences of their mother and son in Japan. Now Xiao Kong often goes back to China. We are not suitable as a couple, but we have a good relationship as friends. We often eat together, and we even participate in mixed doubles competitions together.She has a male partner, and I have a female partner. We lost to them last year. My partner smiled and put all the responsibility on me, saying that I lost to her on purpose.In fact, I didn't do it on purpose, or I couldn't make a ruthless move.I am very reluctant to play such chess, and it feels strange to play chess with her.We met her again this year. It was really "narrow road to the enemy". At the critical moment, I made another slow move and was caught by others, which eventually led to the defeat.