Chapter 63 lonely

Su Manshu's friend Yang Desheng once said to his brother Yang Xingxun: "Manshu is more concerned about the patient." Manshu also said in a letter to his friend: "The dead friend Desheng Zeng Ni was not wise and said: 'This way is not enough to live and live.' After thinking about this, I sincerely shouldn't kill myself with leisure and worry!" When studying in Japan, Su Manshu once said to his classmate Zhang Shichang: "You have both parents, you are really happy, but I am alone, and my life experience is bleak." When he was at Wuzhong Public School in Suzhou, Su Manshu knew nothing about Wu Nong's soft language, so he could only talk with his colleagues in writing.

In the winter of 1903, Su Manshu arrived in Hong Kong with Feng Ziyou's letter of introduction, found Chen Shaobai, and lived in the Chen family.He is "reclusive, stays at home, and rarely speaks to others when he stays in the house."Wang Qiumei, Chen’s colleague in China Daily, recalled: “Zigu’s childishness has not been eliminated, his clothes are disheveled, he can’t distinguish between beans and wheat, he is addicted to leisure food, and his behavior is weird. His colleagues regard him as a nerd. The gentleman (referring to Chen Shaobai) entertained him attentively and generously. Zigu has no friends in Hong Kong except for a gentleman."

In 1904, Su Manshu went to Changsha to serve as the dormitory supervisor of the Industry School.The position of dormitory supervisor is the most humble, so he is often insulted by students.He often sat with his back to people, singing and crying impermanently. When he saw people, he looked straight at them with piercing eyes without blinking for a few minutes. The school called him "Su Shen".He eats irregularly, sometimes he has enough food for others, and sometimes he does not eat for several days.Colleagues recalled that he "lived in a small building every day, seldom learned from others, murmured Shi Dakai's words of "raise the whip and generously visit the Central Plains", and painted and burned."

In the autumn of 1904, Su Manshu, who had returned to Shanghai from Changsha, began to go in and out of brothels, and often invited a schoolgirl surnamed Lin to take a horse-drawn carriage to travel along Sima Road at night.He also loves to eat western food, and he often treats guests. Every time he has a banquet, he invites a lot of people. He doesn't know many people, so he always asks friends to invite them.Asked him why, he replied: "There are few guests, so we are not happy." When the guests arrived, the banquet started, and the banquet left immediately, without knowing their names or thanking them, and everyone was surprised.Qin Yuliu said with emotion: "Master Manshu plays in the world, but he treats money like dung."

Cai Zhefu recalled the first time he met Su Manshu by the West Lake in the autumn of 1905: "In the autumn of Yisi,...one day, in front of Lingyin Rock, I saw a boy named Zhufa, sitting on a stone railing, with his underwear woven all over his head, The eyebrows are so solemn and solemn. I thought that I must be a strange man, and I had no choice but to do it. Now reading Situ, I know that Manshu must visit the West Lake every year; because of the words Manshu, I know that what I saw that day is Gu Manshu." Su Manshu met his adoptive mother Hehexian for the first time as an adult, and Hehexian gave Manshu a Japanese sword. In 1905, when Manshu lived in Nanjing as a guest, he was taciturn, and his friends often forced him to talk with him.He often took out this knife to show people, saying that it was a gift from his mother in Dongdao.

When teaching in Nanjing Junjun Primary School, Su Man loved painting orchids.One day, colleagues Zhang Muliang and Wu Yibo were chatting about the Southern Song Dynasty poet Zheng Suonan (good at painting orchids), and Manshu sat down.Zhang Muliang asked: "How does the orchid of the great monk compare with the orchid of Suonan?" Manshu said: "How dare you compare with Zheng!" Wu Yibo said: "Su and Zheng are equal, but they have their own uniqueness. The so-called sad people don't have arms .” Manshu was silent, thinking of him as his confidant. In the autumn of 1906, Su Manshu followed Tao Chengzhang and Gong Weisheng from Anhui to Hangzhou, where he lived in the vernacular newspaper and planned an uprising.At that time, there were rumors in Hangzhou that Tao, Gong and others had summoned 3,000 righteous men from the eight prefectures to attack the provincial capital on September 12.The governor of Zhejiang then prepared to arrest Tao, Gong and others. After Tao and Gong heard the news, they hurried to Shanghai to take refuge.Manshu stayed alone in Hangzhou, quite lonely. He said in a letter to Liu Jiping: "I have no relatives, and I want to sail eastward. Cousin Nai has not replied yet. I want to return to my hometown in the south, and I have no face to see Jiangdong's elders. Yes. To follow the sea, die to the shadows and fall into the rivers and lakes. There is nothing to do..."

In Shanghai, when Su Manshu was living in No. 1 Xingtai, he would always call the servants (prostitutes) every night, and there were more than one of them.When he arrived, he called for food and wine and invited them to eat. Because he had a stomach problem, he didn't accompany them to eat.By the time they had finished eating, he was already in bed.If he has fallen asleep, they can leave on their own; if he has not fallen asleep, they must let them sit quietly and accompany him.Most of his servants are from Suzhou, and they are all beautiful, but he never touches them. Su Manshu once sighed in a letter to Liu Jiping: "Man's situation is extremely miserable, and he is as close as a brother, don't you know it? Although family matters are not enough to be brothers, every time I think about it, I feel sad! Oh, Liu San, Man Cheng I don't want to live in this evil world of five turbidities later than this."

Zhou Nankai said: "Although Manshu is a man, he is easy-going on the outside, but he is withdrawn on the inside, so he is lonely. ... I have talked with Yu for a long time, and I feel depressed and unhappy. I have the hatred of life and death." Zheng Tongsun said of Su Manshu: "When he was young, he was very enthusiastic, but when he was middle-aged, he was extremely pessimistic. His desperate eating of chocolate, eight-treasure rice, and cigars is really a suicide policy. Money is used desperately, and if there is no money, he will starve all day long. Delicious flowers and wine, but rarely talk to the shepherd he is (named Hua Xuenan), Gaibi's favorite is nothing more than a lively scene, neither the flowers nor the wine."

Su Manshu's "Passing Thoughts on Passing Wakamatsu Town and Showing Brother Zhong" says: "Qi Kuo is dead and alive, don't ask, a lone monk in the clouds and flowing water. Laughing wildly for no reason and crying for no reason, even if there is joy, it is like ice."